Scan barcode
nooripoori's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault
cleo_reads's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
4.5
Delightful YA/NA Sapphic romance between two first-year college students spending winter break in Washington DC.
Despite the blurb, I wouldn’t call it an enemies to lovers rom-com - more like the Sapphic, Jewish awkward teen version of a Hallmark Christmas movie. And I mean that as a compliment.
It’s told from the first person POV of Shani, a nerdy, anxious Jewish lesbian. I think your enjoyment of the book will depend on whether you can handle being in her anxious, overthinking thoughts. Read the sample.
Your enjoyment may also depend on whether you can handle the stress of reading such an accurate portrayal of what it's like to be 18 years old - complete with poor impulse control and crazy mood swings. (This may just be me and my middle aged sensibilities). I had to put this down a couple times when I got stressed about both Shani and May making (age appropriate) poor choices. But I did really enjoy their relationship and personal growth - it was satisfying and believable.
Despite the blurb, I wouldn’t call it an enemies to lovers rom-com - more like the Sapphic, Jewish awkward teen version of a Hallmark Christmas movie. And I mean that as a compliment.
It’s told from the first person POV of Shani, a nerdy, anxious Jewish lesbian. I think your enjoyment of the book will depend on whether you can handle being in her anxious, overthinking thoughts. Read the sample.
Your enjoyment may also depend on whether you can handle the stress of reading such an accurate portrayal of what it's like to be 18 years old - complete with poor impulse control and crazy mood swings. (This may just be me and my middle aged sensibilities). I had to put this down a couple times when I got stressed about both Shani and May making (age appropriate) poor choices. But I did really enjoy their relationship and personal growth - it was satisfying and believable.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault
halsavannah's review against another edition
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
Content Warnings
Minor: Sexual assault
shoohoob's review against another edition
emotional
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault
tmkutawrites's review against another edition
emotional
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
cw: previous sexual assault, previous emotionally abusive relationship
Okay. You know how you start a book and immediately go "....I am not the target audience for this?" That was me with this book.
Coming of age sapphic "YA" (New Adult) romance set in D.C. (more on that later). The romance is your classic 18tween year old toxic lesbian romance. The coming of age is very 18 year old (which is good! we love that representation for them!) but dear god the MC's thought process, self-deprecation, and self-centered outlook on life made this healed, Farther Along In My Life Journey queer want to crawl out of my fucking skin. Like honey, no, you don't need romance you need THERAPY. A LOT OF IT. AND ANXIETY MEDICATION. Lots of the reviews for this book are like "IT'S SO IMMATURE, THE CHARACTERS ARE SO IMMATURE" and like...yes. The characters are 18. They are first year college students who have just realized they are queer and have just come out to themselves and haven't yet told their parents they are queer. Of course they are immature. Of course they are messy. What 18 year old baby lesbian ISN'T messy?
Beyond looking in a mirror and going "damn, I used to be like that and I've come a long way, thank god for therapy and growth," overall the book was....meh. It was a "HFN" ending (which I don't mind) but if that was an IRL relationship it was doomed to crash and burn. There was very little romantic about it. It was billed as "enemies to lovers", which I guess yes, but because they never really dropped the antagonistic aspect of their relationship, it just felt gross. It reminded me a lot of the emotionally abusive relationships I was in once upon a time and it pained me to see Shani think some of that stuff was romantic.
As a DMV native, the "descriptions" of DC were painful. The author apparently spent a summer in DC as an intern and spent all of their free time "in the Smithsonian museums." You could tell. Dear god you could tell. I feel extremely bad for all the SI employees who were slandered in this book by giving them un-DC employment like behavior. There is more to DC than the SI Museum and the Mall! Also, the idea of DC getting a foot of snow at Christmas was so laughable I about died. (Yes, we do occasionally get snow at Xmas--looking at you snowmageddon--but overall the weather described was very un-DC like and it was clear the author has never spent a winter here. "Unseasonably warm" at the end of December...no that's just regular weather in D.C. )
Also the fact the two POC characters in the book were either a) a supportive sounding board for the MC's pathetic life who we know nothing about other than she is Desi, queer, and has a girlfriend, or were b) a sub-tertiary character who got maybe a dozen speaking lines...the looks aren't good. Especially for a book that banged on with some otherwise kind of performative commentary. It felt very much like a "why aren't we practicing what we preach" kind of deal.
One of the things I did enjoy that the character's Judaism featured heavily, was a large part of the MC's view on life, and was discussed openly. The lovebirds have an adorable "Jewmas" celebration of movies and Chinese food which, honestly, loved that. There are some very cute tongue-and-cheek poking-fun-at-our-own-stereotype Jewish Mom jokes which made me smile. There was also some good discussion about how complicated it feels to be Jewish during Goy holidays and the dichotomy of enjoying the commercialism and "culture" of Christmas (Xmas lights, fun drinks, Santa hats, etc) while also being not Christian and not celebrating the day itself.
Another thing I did enjoy was the lack of the annoying A Giant Misunderstanding Is Had/Betrayal Occurs trope that breaks the characters up 3/4 of the way through the book. Or, in this case, there is a "misunderstanding" but it is centered around real, actual trauma that would happen IRL and is something that could actually have the relationship come back from instead of a lot of the misunderstandings/betrayals in romances which would imo ruin anything with that person forever. The two MC's also have a very real, almost Adult conversation about said misunderstanding, and I feel like it was handled decently enough. Especially since the misunderstanding grows out of the MC's history of sexual assault and how to impacts her desire/ability to be sexually intimate with her love interest, I think it was realistic and as maturely handled by the characters as possible considering their age.
Overall... The MC was kind of toxic, the romance was mid, everything else... meh. I probably would have DNF'd the book except it made me so annoyed I had to finish to see what kind of trainwreck it would resolve into. It is realistic, and messy, and a relationship I could see rising and falling and dumpster fire-ing IRL, so that is definitely points in its favor. I want a an entire book about Mandira bc she deserves better than the role she was given in this novel.
Okay. You know how you start a book and immediately go "....I am not the target audience for this?" That was me with this book.
Coming of age sapphic "YA" (New Adult) romance set in D.C. (more on that later). The romance is your classic 18tween year old toxic lesbian romance. The coming of age is very 18 year old (which is good! we love that representation for them!) but dear god the MC's thought process, self-deprecation, and self-centered outlook on life made this healed, Farther Along In My Life Journey queer want to crawl out of my fucking skin. Like honey, no, you don't need romance you need THERAPY. A LOT OF IT. AND ANXIETY MEDICATION. Lots of the reviews for this book are like "IT'S SO IMMATURE, THE CHARACTERS ARE SO IMMATURE" and like...yes. The characters are 18. They are first year college students who have just realized they are queer and have just come out to themselves and haven't yet told their parents they are queer. Of course they are immature. Of course they are messy. What 18 year old baby lesbian ISN'T messy?
Beyond looking in a mirror and going "damn, I used to be like that and I've come a long way, thank god for therapy and growth," overall the book was....meh. It was a "HFN" ending (which I don't mind) but if that was an IRL relationship it was doomed to crash and burn. There was very little romantic about it. It was billed as "enemies to lovers", which I guess yes, but because they never really dropped the antagonistic aspect of their relationship, it just felt gross. It reminded me a lot of the emotionally abusive relationships I was in once upon a time and it pained me to see Shani think some of that stuff was romantic.
As a DMV native, the "descriptions" of DC were painful. The author apparently spent a summer in DC as an intern and spent all of their free time "in the Smithsonian museums." You could tell. Dear god you could tell. I feel extremely bad for all the SI employees who were slandered in this book by giving them un-DC employment like behavior. There is more to DC than the SI Museum and the Mall! Also, the idea of DC getting a foot of snow at Christmas was so laughable I about died. (Yes, we do occasionally get snow at Xmas--looking at you snowmageddon--but overall the weather described was very un-DC like and it was clear the author has never spent a winter here. "Unseasonably warm" at the end of December...no that's just regular weather in D.C. )
Also the fact the two POC characters in the book were either a) a supportive sounding board for the MC's pathetic life who we know nothing about other than she is Desi, queer, and has a girlfriend, or were b) a sub-tertiary character who got maybe a dozen speaking lines...the looks aren't good. Especially for a book that banged on with some otherwise kind of performative commentary. It felt very much like a "why aren't we practicing what we preach" kind of deal.
One of the things I did enjoy that the character's Judaism featured heavily, was a large part of the MC's view on life, and was discussed openly. The lovebirds have an adorable "Jewmas" celebration of movies and Chinese food which, honestly, loved that. There are some very cute tongue-and-cheek poking-fun-at-our-own-stereotype Jewish Mom jokes which made me smile. There was also some good discussion about how complicated it feels to be Jewish during Goy holidays and the dichotomy of enjoying the commercialism and "culture" of Christmas (Xmas lights, fun drinks, Santa hats, etc) while also being not Christian and not celebrating the day itself.
Another thing I did enjoy was the lack of the annoying A Giant Misunderstanding Is Had/Betrayal Occurs trope that breaks the characters up 3/4 of the way through the book. Or, in this case, there is a "misunderstanding" but it is centered around real, actual trauma that would happen IRL and is something that could actually have the relationship come back from instead of a lot of the misunderstandings/betrayals in romances which would imo ruin anything with that person forever. The two MC's also have a very real, almost Adult conversation about said misunderstanding, and I feel like it was handled decently enough. Especially since the misunderstanding grows out of the MC's history of sexual assault and how to impacts her desire/ability to be sexually intimate with her love interest, I think it was realistic and as maturely handled by the characters as possible considering their age.
Overall... The MC was kind of toxic, the romance was mid, everything else... meh. I probably would have DNF'd the book except it made me so annoyed I had to finish to see what kind of trainwreck it would resolve into. It is realistic, and messy, and a relationship I could see rising and falling and dumpster fire-ing IRL, so that is definitely points in its favor. I want a an entire book about Mandira bc she deserves better than the role she was given in this novel.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Alcohol, Sexual assault, and Emotional abuse
nmcannon's review against another edition
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
How to Excavate a Heart was a holiday read for our sapphic book club. Our members come from a variety of faith traditions, and one lived with a family obsessed with the Hallmark Channel. How to Excavate a Heart’s blurb offers a refreshing perspective on the cliche winter holiday tale. Arlow’s work delivered.
The saving grace of Shani’s winter break is a paleoichthyology internship at the Smithsonian. The rest of her life feels tattered: her first college semester was rocky at best, her relationship with her mom has some serious growing pains, and her girlfriend broke up with her. What was supposed to be a mini-new start immediately sours when she runs over someone walking their dog. That someone ends up being May, a prickly lost soul with her own family troubles. After some initial tension, the pair get on like a house on fire…which is not what this winter break was supposed to be about!
How to Excavate a Heart is a great, realistic queer teen romance. Often I feel out of step with YA, but Arlow found me. Both Shani and May are their own individuals, and they grow in organic ways. By novel’s end, they’re not out of the woods, but the path forward is clearer. Some of our book club members were put off with how Shani flirts with a younger barista in order to get free coffee. The recurring schtick is treated as a joke. While I wasn’t bothered, even I expected Shani to show character growth in this area.
If that’s the only quibble I can muster up, trust that How to Excavate a Heart is a good book. I want more Shani/May. I want more fun fish facts. I honestly want to read a book about Shani’s grandma and her friend–they’re incredibly vivid on page, despite the grandma being dead. Where is the cute-tastic sequel?
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault
outlawbri's review against another edition
funny
lighthearted
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault
bilboiswaggins's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
An incredibly charming and heartwarming romcom pulling heavily from Hallmark movies but with much better writing and acting! (I really liked the narrator of the audiobook) A great listen any time but especially during the holidays or if you have a Corgi 💜
A touching story about queer youth, parental love, and Jewish women during Christmas. Strongly recommend listening with tissues, hot cocoa, and a furry friend.
A touching story about queer youth, parental love, and Jewish women during Christmas. Strongly recommend listening with tissues, hot cocoa, and a furry friend.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault
lqvekanej's review against another edition
hopeful
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault and Sexual content
Minor: Lesbophobia
madisongturner's review against another edition
hopeful
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
A great holiday read. The vibes are cozy and casual. The main characters are young and the book really taps into that young love that is big and hopeful.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual content and Sexual assault
Minor: Car accident