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rosepoints's review
2.0
based on the summary, it seemed like the book was written specifically for me. korean mother-daughter relationships, intergenerational trauma, and immigration? excellent, sign me up. but alas, it was not the book i expected it to be.
first off, i didn’t really like any of the translations. if the original letters hadn’t been included, i would’ve just written it off as poor phrasing, but after reading through both the english and the korean versions of the letters, i felt like the translations lacked some of the implied meanings and flattened out the nuances in the original text.
and for a book titled “the magical language of others,” it sure felt like i was reading a book titled “the magical language of myself.” objectively, a memoir is supposed to be about the author, but the way the book was advertised and the way the summary was written made it seem like it would look more deeply into interpersonal relationships. instead, i got navel-gazing from the author. i almost feel like this book would’ve done better as a series of poems rather than a full novel-length book, and given the author’s background as a poet, i’m not sure why they chose this.
there is a good chapter that touches upon zainichi koreans and korean history, but that was the only chapter i found myself enjoying. where is that history with the mother? is there going to be anything more other than the resentment the author feels? is there not a deeper discussion about the author’s relationship with her brother, especially after all those years living alone in the united states with him? why did we spend more time on a korean guy from japan than that? honestly, a very disappointing read.
lann_hua's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
4.25
jessethereader's review against another edition
Wow this ended up being heavier than I expected to be when it comes to the content explored. (Triggers for eating disorders & suicide) I can't say that I loved the way in which this book was written as at times I found it to be a little disjointed. Despite that though the story still packed a punch as we see how Eun Ji overcame all the difficulties she was confronted with. I love the fact that she ended up finding a safety net through writing poetry. Eun Ji's story is built up on a very complicated relationship that she has with her mother. Her mother longs to have a strong relationship with her daughter, but that's difficult due to the distance between them and also her inability to reach a deeper connection further than surface level. While this book was incredibly sad at times, I found myself invested the whole way through.
lavenderlisa's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
ezrasreadingcorner's review against another edition
Since this is a memoir I feel weird rating this book. It wasn’t really for me, since I felt like I just couldn’t connect to the writing and storytelling of this book and also didn’t expect it to be so heavy. Still, a very impressive piece of work talking about the relationship between mothers and daughters, intergenerational trauma, capitalism and the story of a Korean-American family.
theimaginaryworldoffaith's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.0
joannaautumn's review against another edition
4.0
” As I learned Japanese, roamed through Ueno and the elevator of that ryokan, I learned to isolate myself through language—from English to Korean to Japanese. It was so effective it was frightening, as if I could guard against others like a spy. Where I could hardly open my mouth before, it now seemed that no one could speak to me. Languages, as they open you, can also allow you to close. When I felt myself running toward seclusion, I heard my grandmother and my great-grandfather urging me to try—and how much harder one must try when learning to love. She never asked me to speak but to understand, rather than endure to forgive, and never to sacrifice, only to let go.”
A book is split into sections that interchange, the translation of the letters the author received from her mother living abroad and the memories of the author giving context to each letter.
Using general terms one can say that this memoir is about the author overcoming their struggles and affirming life and their place in it.
Looking closely, this memoir with epistolary parts is written in a way that keeps the reader both invested and engaged in the life of the writer and what they observed and dealt with over the years. Racism, sexism, classism, depression, suicide attempts, eating disorders, grief, murder, and isolation – a wide array of topics is arranged inside.
“When you age, wrinkles don’t make you older. They make you look more like yourself,” she warned me. “Everything comes to the surface eventually.”
“That wrinkle bore daughters, who gave more wrinkles by fighting; those with smooth foreheads bore sons, who compounded smoothness by restriction. In the end, there was no escaping a mother’s face.”
What strikes most is the feeling of isolation and abandonment that stretches over the three generations of women in the family. Each woman being caring and giving but at the same time distanced and aloof, unsure how to exactly demonstrate their feelings, how to vocalize them too. Language plays a big role in communication, but certain things don’t need a specific language, it’s in the actions and everyday kindness all around us that keeps the people going on.
”I ran toward his hand, outstretched with a mug of hot chocolate. He never asked where I had been or why I had been gone for hours but offered hot cocoa he made from a mix he had bought on his trip to the supermarket because he remembered the way it could cheer me up, and he had been hoping to do just that, though he did not know, always, the graceful way of doing so, but he tried anyway, his very best, reminding me that we were not stuck—we were liberated—and he understood at his young age that he was all I had in this world, and only when he had returned to his room and closed the door behind him did my tears fall freely.”
It’s also a thing not a lot of us pay attention to, and we often overlook things that are not vocalized.
What’s beautiful in this book is the realistic portrayal of grief, sadness and loneliness that comes out of the quiet, how often times we hurt ourselves more by our inactivity than others and how it shapes people; how everybody has their own way of communication and how hard it is to come to terms with the sides of yourself that are ultimately destructive.
It’s rare that I find a memoir from which I can apply what I have read to my own life(or I just haven’t been reading the right memoirs) but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this one, despite it talking about a lot of serious and heavy topics, 4/5.
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I loved this, review to come.