Scan barcode
ghostlyprince's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Grief, Suicidal thoughts, Abandonment, Sexism, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Addiction, Toxic relationship, and Misogyny
Moderate: Physical abuse, Ableism, Child abuse, and Racism
Minor: Forced institutionalization, Eating disorder, and Vomit
half_bloodreader's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Asian & pansexual rep
"I like to think it wouldn't have changed anything, that I understood then all the shortcomings of remorse and how impotent it is against the past. I like to think I recognized that you don't have to tell yourself things are fine to make it easier on another person, and that you don't have to turn your heart toward men who are suffering when they've brought it on themselves.
But probably that isn't true of me. After all, I would, at that point, have forgiven my own father everything on exchange for something as small as a phone call."
Raw hard-hitting read told from the present looking back at the past. With this more informed perspective on history, the mc is able to analyse certain moments differently, notice the tipping point for changes, wonder.
During my reading, I needed to take breaks to allow myself to feel everything this book elicited from me.
Covers so many topics, there's so much to unpack:
- mental health
- Beth is biracial and struggles with feeling not Asian enough
- Family pressure when it comes to studies & careers
- Women making themselves small for men
- Above all, friendship
- mental health
- Beth is biracial and struggles with feeling not Asian enough
- Family pressure when it comes to studies & careers
- Women making themselves small for men
- Above all, friendship
"What would it be like to admit that aloud - that you were angry, that the day had worn on you, to say those things, and to feel them, without worrying how they might look to whoever you were talking to? To let the ugly emotions you harbored, your anger and dissatisfaction and irritation, seep into your words without censoring them."
Beth's relationship with her absent father affects everything in her life, her shortcomings, insecurities and feelings of inadequacy stemming from it. She clearly has abandonment issues to the point she studied what the patriarchal society wants from women, trying to make herself accommodating to everyone. So she won't be left behind again.
She is extremely unfair towards her mother, blaming her for the divorce, hurting a lovely relationship she could have. That was where she had me angry and lacking sympathy. So ungrateful to the one who is so giving and works hard for her.
She will learn.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Racism and Suicide attempt
xoodlebooks's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Medical content
nattiegracelin's review
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Racism and Suicide attempt
enchantedtoreadyou's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
When We Were Infinite was a hard read. It covered a lot of hard topics. That normally wouldn’t bother me, but since the pacing felt so slow it just seemed like the longest, saddest book. Beth wasn’t the best MC. She was bratty and pessimistic. I was much more interested in her friend’s stories. The ending was hopeful though, and that honestly saved this book for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, and Mental illness
Moderate: Racism
forevermorepages's review
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Whoever called this book light-hearted read an entirely different book than me
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Suicidal thoughts, Child abuse, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Racism and Toxic relationship
Minor: Homophobia
betweentheshelves's review
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Thanks to Simon and Schuster and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this to review! While I hadn’t read any of Gilbert’s books previously, this one hits on subjects that I often read a lot about. There are a lot of heavy topics dealt with in this book, and Gilbert tackles them head-on, making them feel real.
First, the cons. There was something about the voice that felt off to me, which I couldn’t quite pinpoint. There were periods of time that went by really quickly, and there were also sections where it seemed like Beth was telling this story from a time in the future. I think there were just sections that didn’t seem to transition well, which threw off the voice for me.
However, what is done well is Beth’s feelings and anxiety. She has panic attacks throughout the book and they feel realistic. There are some great discussions about mental health to be had throughout the book. What I also appreciated was Beth’s deep-seated fear about things changing because it’s definitely something we can all relate to. Keeping close with her friends from high school is her way of keeping some sort of comfort when everything else is changing.
There are also a lot of great conversations about Asian culture in this book. Beth is distanced from it, while Jason is not. Beth feels like she’s missing out on something because of this and it really leads to some great discussion.
All in all, this is a really in-depth novel that will give you a lot to think about. Not the most light-hearted, but important all the same.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Suicide attempt, Panic attacks/disorders, and Mental illness
Moderate: Racism and Racial slurs
utopiastateofmind's review
emotional
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
4.75
(Disclaimer: I received this book from Netgalley. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.)
When We Were Infinite is told from the present reflecting on the past. It's about looking back and seeing the moments everything changed. The moments we would have just forgotten, but, looking back, mean everything. How it represents a turning point from feeling like the future stretches out before us. To a new reality we land in like strangers. Gilbert is a master at complex characters and my heart aches for Beth. It wasn't only in the comments she gets for being biracial and how "Asian she isn't". Big resonant moment for me.
It's in the ways Beth grasps for what she wants. The gaps between what we wish we could reach and where we stand. It's in the moments we're so desperately trying to keep it together. Our family, our future, our friends, ourselves. When We Were Infinite is about the fracture lines we trace back. The shock waves in soup and fault lines in smiles. All the little ways the pieces slipped out of grasp. The intricacies of their friendships are certainly a huge focus for the book.
When We Were Infinite is told from the present reflecting on the past. It's about looking back and seeing the moments everything changed. The moments we would have just forgotten, but, looking back, mean everything. How it represents a turning point from feeling like the future stretches out before us. To a new reality we land in like strangers. Gilbert is a master at complex characters and my heart aches for Beth. It wasn't only in the comments she gets for being biracial and how "Asian she isn't". Big resonant moment for me.
It's in the ways Beth grasps for what she wants. The gaps between what we wish we could reach and where we stand. It's in the moments we're so desperately trying to keep it together. Our family, our future, our friends, ourselves. When We Were Infinite is about the fracture lines we trace back. The shock waves in soup and fault lines in smiles. All the little ways the pieces slipped out of grasp. The intricacies of their friendships are certainly a huge focus for the book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders and Racism
Moderate: Suicide attempt
Minor: Child abuse
thesaltiestlibrarian's review
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. The opinions expressed in this review are mine alone and may not reflect the views of the author, publisher, or distributor.
TW: Attempted suicide, panic attacks, divorce, academic stress, microaggressions
Debuts are tricky. You know this person publishing their book is enamored with the idea of writing, and what writer doesn’t want to be published? You can’t say for certain whether or not you’ll like their style, because you’ve never read their work before. They are, after all, a debut author. And will the story stick? If it sounds interesting, you may as well dive in and see what you find. Sometimes what you get is a mixed bag. That’s what we have here in Kelly Loy Gilbert’s When We Were Infinite.
The story follows Beth and her friends--who are all Asian or Asian-American--as they navigate their senior year in high school in southern California. We get to trace their struggles over which college to attend, or even apply to, and how family pressures play into how a teenager shapes their future. Whether that pressure is good or bad depends on the family. When Beth and her friend Brandon witness some parental abuse in another friend, Jason’s, house, things start downhill. Jason attempts suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. He survives, and the friendships they’ve grown start to crackle and fracture. Can the five of them keep together, or will silence and other pressures separate them?
Beth herself is from what’s considered a “broken home.” With her father up-and-leaving when she was young, it’s been her and her mom for the long haul. That part really struck home. Beth’s anger at her father and mother comes across very naturally, and as someone who takes on more responsibility than anyone asks of me, I understand her tendency to bottle up and not want to talk about it. The character development for Beth, her mom, Jason, and Brandon was great. They all stood out as real people in tricky situations with no real solutions.
So why did I give this a three-star rating? Well, a few things.
For one, the writing bogs itself down at times. I myself am learning that less is more, and the desire to embellish won’t always help a passage. Gilbert’s prose leans too heavily on the purple side in the middle of the book, which may be possible to contribute to that dreaded Middle Section Syndrome--the longest, hardest part of the book to write. The ending and beginning were tight, though, so it did even out in the end.
Some of the tropes. Unfortunately, this book employed one of my least favorite tropes: noncommunication. When a simple conversation will fix something, HAVE THE CONVERSATION. Moments in this book felt repetitive because of the lack of communication between characters, and I get it, okay? They’re teenagers. The logic centers of their brains aren’t fully formed yet. But here’s the thing. Some of the tension in here leaned on people just not talking about important things, and if we want to break the circle of abuse and mental strain, we have to talk about stuff. I don’t care how painful it is. That was a misstep on Gilbert’s part, and a perpetuation of the “let’s not talk about stuff” trope was not a great one to see rearing its head in this age of purposeful communication.
Another trope I’m not super into is the broody boy. BEFORE YOU SCREAM AT ME, I understand Jaon’s home life was terrible for all the pressure he was under. But he’d known Sunny since Kindergarten, and he wouldn’t even talk to her? He wouldn’t even talk to Brandon , his best friend in the world??? That’s the edge for me. Sometimes Jason got mopey and (see above) could have talked to someone about it.
Sunny and Grace needed more life. They sounded too much like each other and got me confused when they spoke. If they’d been given a little more verve and life as themselves, this would have been a non-issue.
BUT.
Okay.
The ending. I swear, if it hadn’t ended the way it had, I’d be fuming right now. Endings are not strong points in a debut sometimes. But Gilbert really brought everything around and made the Sadness Slog worth it. I liked the burst of growth and development we got to see in Beth, and I loved that there was hope. A good 45 pages before the end really took off, I had plans to rant and rave about how you need hope in a book, even if it is like real life. Silly me, I’m glad I didn’t write anything up before hitting that 100% mark!
So it’s worth a read, if you’re feeling down! Do prepare for sadness, and please take care if you suffer with suicidal thoughts. I do, and Jason’s ordeal gave me palpitations. A solid three stars out of five.
TW: Attempted suicide, panic attacks, divorce, academic stress, microaggressions
Debuts are tricky. You know this person publishing their book is enamored with the idea of writing, and what writer doesn’t want to be published? You can’t say for certain whether or not you’ll like their style, because you’ve never read their work before. They are, after all, a debut author. And will the story stick? If it sounds interesting, you may as well dive in and see what you find. Sometimes what you get is a mixed bag. That’s what we have here in Kelly Loy Gilbert’s When We Were Infinite.
The story follows Beth and her friends--who are all Asian or Asian-American--as they navigate their senior year in high school in southern California. We get to trace their struggles over which college to attend, or even apply to, and how family pressures play into how a teenager shapes their future. Whether that pressure is good or bad depends on the family. When Beth and her friend Brandon witness some parental abuse in another friend, Jason’s, house, things start downhill. Jason attempts suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. He survives, and the friendships they’ve grown start to crackle and fracture. Can the five of them keep together, or will silence and other pressures separate them?
Beth herself is from what’s considered a “broken home.” With her father up-and-leaving when she was young, it’s been her and her mom for the long haul. That part really struck home. Beth’s anger at her father and mother comes across very naturally, and as someone who takes on more responsibility than anyone asks of me, I understand her tendency to bottle up and not want to talk about it. The character development for Beth, her mom, Jason, and Brandon was great. They all stood out as real people in tricky situations with no real solutions.
So why did I give this a three-star rating? Well, a few things.
For one, the writing bogs itself down at times. I myself am learning that less is more, and the desire to embellish won’t always help a passage. Gilbert’s prose leans too heavily on the purple side in the middle of the book, which may be possible to contribute to that dreaded Middle Section Syndrome--the longest, hardest part of the book to write. The ending and beginning were tight, though, so it did even out in the end.
Some of the tropes. Unfortunately, this book employed one of my least favorite tropes: noncommunication. When a simple conversation will fix something, HAVE THE CONVERSATION. Moments in this book felt repetitive because of the lack of communication between characters, and I get it, okay? They’re teenagers. The logic centers of their brains aren’t fully formed yet. But here’s the thing. Some of the tension in here leaned on people just not talking about important things, and if we want to break the circle of abuse and mental strain, we have to talk about stuff. I don’t care how painful it is. That was a misstep on Gilbert’s part, and a perpetuation of the “let’s not talk about stuff” trope was not a great one to see rearing its head in this age of purposeful communication.
Another trope I’m not super into is the broody boy. BEFORE YOU SCREAM AT ME, I understand Jaon’s home life was terrible for all the pressure he was under. But he’d known Sunny since Kindergarten, and he wouldn’t even talk to her? He wouldn’t even talk to Brandon , his best friend in the world??? That’s the edge for me. Sometimes Jason got mopey and (see above) could have talked to someone about it.
Sunny and Grace needed more life. They sounded too much like each other and got me confused when they spoke. If they’d been given a little more verve and life as themselves, this would have been a non-issue.
BUT.
Okay.
The ending. I swear, if it hadn’t ended the way it had, I’d be fuming right now. Endings are not strong points in a debut sometimes. But Gilbert really brought everything around and made the Sadness Slog worth it. I liked the burst of growth and development we got to see in Beth, and I loved that there was hope. A good 45 pages before the end really took off, I had plans to rant and rave about how you need hope in a book, even if it is like real life. Silly me, I’m glad I didn’t write anything up before hitting that 100% mark!
So it’s worth a read, if you’re feeling down! Do prepare for sadness, and please take care if you suffer with suicidal thoughts. I do, and Jason’s ordeal gave me palpitations. A solid three stars out of five.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Racial slurs and Racism
More...