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dianaschmidty's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Mental illness, Stalking, Bullying, Drug use, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Death, Classism, Emotional abuse, Racial slurs, Car accident, Death of parent, Grief, Violence, War, and Racism
Moderate: Addiction, Antisemitism, and Colonisation
Minor: Islamophobia
lethaltea's review against another edition
To start off - the first third of this book was pretty awful. The first part covers the portion of Harry's life pre-military and after the passing of his mother. It is clear that Harry has been suffering from CPTSD and in this section of the book he is very angry - at his brother, his father, the press, the palace - at pretty much everyone. This does come of as really whinny and complaining - which is hard to take from his place of privilege. This portion was definitely a slog to listen through, it was frustrating to listen to Harry vilify the one other person who understands how he is feeling - his brother William.
The second and third parts of the book concern is military service, his marriage to Meghan, and the subsequent implosion of their lives. In these sections, it is a lot easier to be sympathetic to Harry but he still somehow blames the rest of the royal family for all his problems. Don't get me wrong - the treatment of his wife in the media was absolutely disgusting and the royal family didn't do anything to help. But the sequence of events here is really confusing, it is hard to tell when they made the decision to leave England and the circumstances surrounding it.
My main takeaways/thoughts are this:
- For a large portion of the book Harry is a bit of dick towards his brother for not speaking out and supporting him and this really rubbed me the wrong way. William is the only person who actually understands the grief Harry is trying to process - he went through it too. He is also the future king and like it or not, he is held to different expectations than Harry so I can understand why he cannot and will not speak out - he doesn't have that sort of freedom.
- Harry reiterates several times that "privacy" is his primary goal - but in order to achieve this, he strips the rest of his family of their privacy. I understand this desire, but at what cost? If he really values these things, doesn't he value everybody else's privacy?
- At several points the writing is rather immature - Harry gives nicknames to senior security staff and oftentimes comes off like a petulant child tattle-tailing. The writing is ripe with jealousy and revenge at William and the whole concept of being the "spare" gets exhausted within the first 5 minutes of Harry trying to be the victim. I am sorry but I cannot sympathize with a man who has grown up in so much privilege and wealth that it never occurs to him that dressing up as n*zi might be a bad idea.
Overall, I am not really a royal family supporter or opposer - the Queen was mostly a patriotic symbol in Canada and I really like Kate Middleton's wedding dress. This book doesn't really change my opinion either way - of course the RF controls the media, they survive on public opinion. Unfortunately, this book feels like Harry just airing dirty laundry to garner public sympathy and I didn't really resonate with that message.
Graphic: War, Suicidal thoughts, Pregnancy, Racism, Miscarriage, Colonisation, Drug use, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Death of parent and Antisemitism
the_true_monroe's review against another edition
4.25
Graphic: Stalking, Emotional abuse, Death of parent, War, Animal death, Bullying, Death, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Animal cruelty, Car accident, Gaslighting, Drug use, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Alcohol, Sexual harassment, Racism, Injury/Injury detail, Infidelity, Grief, Pregnancy, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Addiction, Medical content, Suicide, Sexism, and Classism
Minor: Classism, Body shaming, Domestic abuse, Antisemitism, Excrement, Physical abuse, Miscarriage, Slavery, Colonisation, and Cultural appropriation
montyalmoro's review against another edition
3.75
Graphic: Alcohol, Antisemitism, Bullying, Car accident, Colonisation, Gaslighting, Racial slurs, Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, Suicidal thoughts, War, Racism, Classism, Cursing, and Death of parent
brindolyn's review against another edition
3.5
Graphic: Bullying, Death of parent, and Violence
Minor: Xenophobia, Antisemitism, and Racism
laura_clarinets's review against another edition
3.5
Like all memoirs, this story is deeply one-sided, and I think a lot of the criticism around this book so far has been misplaced in that it's asking for a more nuanced, more all-sides view of events. But that's not what a memoir is? This is Harry's point of view on Harry's life. It should be biased and largely one-sided, and it is.
I think Harry does a lot of admirable self-reflection here and was especially pleased that he didn't leave out his more....controversial...moments. But at the same time, I think this book shows that there is still room for more growth. Especially in a book that is taking such a hard line criticizing press on racism and misogony, it seems like more care could've been taken around language towards those same and other similar issues. In particular, I bumped on:
- The ableist language around wounded veterans and Invictus (ex. "confined" to a wheelchair)
- The misogynistic language around women in the press or even tangentially related to the press, especially the way the women were described in the Vegas anecdote
- The consistent, repeated use of "Africa" to describe or explain a specific place, feeling, or topic. Africa is the second-largest continent in both land and population, filled with hugely diverse cultures, peoples, and biomes. It is not a substitute word for Botswana or any other place, just like you don't say "Europe" when you mean "London," and furthermore it has been exhaustively documented and discussed the harm that painting with such a broad brush has done throughout history and continues to do. The argument with Will about who got to "have Africa" just felt gross. If you're talking about animal conservation, just say that. It felt like such an oversight to use language like this in a book where the damages of racism and racist language are such a central theme.
In addition to the language, the other thing keeping this from four starts for me was the pacing. I understand the reasons behind telling the story in such quick anecdotes, but especially in audiobook form the constant new chapters just wasn't for me. Additionally the pacing overall felt a little off to my tastes -- anecdotes in the first third often felt exhaustively detailed and disruptive to the overall flow, while the latter third or so of the book just raced through, leaving out lots of things and dropping quick comments that felt like they deserved more attention. I felt like part three gave me whip lash!
Overall, I'm glad to have listened to it, and I'm glad that Harry put his story out in the world. Most of all, I'm glad that he seems to be finding his own peace with his family like he's wanted to for so long.
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, War, Car accident, Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, Racial slurs, Animal death, Gaslighting, Death of parent, and Racism
Moderate: Ableism, Alcohol, Misogyny, Emotional abuse, Antisemitism, Colonisation, Mental illness, and Drug use
mads_reads_books's review against another edition
Graphic: Gun violence, Classism, Colonisation, War, Death of parent, Death, Stalking, Pregnancy, Antisemitism, Murder, Grief, Car accident, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Slavery, Self harm, Racism, Ableism, Racial slurs, and Toxic friendship
Minor: War, Car accident, Eating disorder, Infidelity, Stalking, Cultural appropriation, Panic attacks/disorders, Miscarriage, Violence, Addiction, Genocide, Emotional abuse, Drug abuse, Colonisation, Islamophobia, Gaslighting, Racial slurs, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Grief, Fire/Fire injury, Drug use, Classism, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Racism, Domestic abuse, Antisemitism, Infertility, Vomit, Xenophobia, Incest, Toxic relationship, and Religious bigotry
binreads's review against another edition
3.0
The beginning was great but I will say, the whole middle section dragged. I had my speed on 1.3x at one point just to get through it. He talks a lot about his time in army, which of course is very important and integral to his life. But, there were too many recounts of singlar stories or interactions that I personally felt did not add anything to this book.
If you watched the Harry & Meghan documentary, you would already know almost the whole ending of this book - even some moments feel word for word of what they discussed in the doc so it was a bit repetitive.
Speaking of Diana, after her death, Harry was left completely traumatized and shame on everyone who wasn't there for him throughout the years after. You can hear it in his voice how, even to this day, it still feels like it was yesterday. It's so sad.
I see people online saying these things about Harry and Meghan: "Oh I thought they wanted to live privately? Why the press now? Why the interviews, docs, books etc? Isn't it hypocritical?"
Look. I am not someone who has cared or even known much of the royal family. I am actually named after Princess Diana (my mother adored her, and she actually passed two weeks before I was born) so I have always felt a respect and love towards her.
All I know is, this man who was once a boy, was born into a royal family, with a destiny that was chosen before he was born. He never chose this life. Yes, he is greatly privileged, and I see he does try to acknowledge that privilege while also trying to claim a life of his own.
When Harry mentions why this book is called "Spare", meaning Will was the heir and he was the spare; the second choice, the 'only if', the one forgotten about...it hurt my heart for the little boy who lost his mother way too young. Who didn't have the right support to get through that. Not saying he's perfect or a saint, as he himself points out his massive flaws. But, it's crushing.
Spare is about reclaiming his life and story because he has never once been able to control the narrative of himself in a world he never chose to be in. I hope he, Meghan and his children live peaceful and happy lives. And it also felt like an Ode to Princess Diana.
Graphic: Abandonment, Classism, War, Stalking, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Miscarriage, Car accident, Drug use, and Antisemitism
morganjamiejones's review against another edition
2.5
Graphic: Death of parent and Car accident
Moderate: Colonisation, Miscarriage, Alcohol, and Death
Minor: Antisemitism, Classism, Child abuse, Colonisation, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Bullying
kirstym25's review against another edition
3.0
Graphic: Death of parent, War, Racism, and Racial slurs
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Miscarriage, and Antisemitism