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lizziaha's review against another edition
3.75
Graphic: Miscarriage, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, and War
Moderate: Drug use, Slavery, Pregnancy, Colonisation, and Classism
Minor: Animal death and Racial slurs
bookcheshirecat's review
3.0
➽ I don't follow the royal family at all, but I was intrigued by Prince Harry's memoir! It was interesting to learn more about his childhood, the grief over losing his mother and the role the media has played his entire life. These parts appealed the most to me, as the vicious nature of the paparazzi and the twisting of the truth by the media sound horrifying. I can't imagine being treated like an object for media attention instead of a person. Harry talks a lot about the practices of the magazines that have also turned against him and his wife, viciously ripping them apart for not fitting into the mould.
➽ In the end, the memoir wasn't anything too impactful. The writing was basic and though I appreciated that Harry narrated his own memoir, his narration style was pretty flat. I also wasn't a big fan of the big focus on Harry's military service. In general, I'm not interested in military propaganda, so seeing Harry talk about his pride about killing others didn't feel right - especially with the Islamophobic undertones!
Graphic: Death, Racism, Sexism, Violence, Grief, Stalking, and War
Minor: Gore, Torture, Islamophobia, Kidnapping, and Injury/Injury detail
brenee_reads's review
3.75
This book is heavy.
It feels like a therapy session- the assignment of write it all down, get it out, and let it free.
I knew about Meghan as an actress, followed her blog, but didn't know about Prince Harry much outside of being Princess Diana's son. I knew about the abuse she faced.
And watching the abuse from UK press and weird trolls- I thought "Is Harry really worth it? Can't see just come home so they can STOP?" But, seeing the love and respect and reverence they have for each other. I then thought, yeah they're worth it. They'll protect each other like true spouses should, they'll find a way out.
Never expected Harry to be anti-monarchy so confused as to why people placed that on him. I knew he'd think, at first, that he HAD to continue working for the crown. That's all those in the family are raised to do. Accept your role, and accept abuse from false stories. Don't even stay whats a rumor and what's true. That's no way to live.
Also, there are some people who are committed to misunderstanding you no matter what- ignore them.
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Bullying, Drug abuse, Drug use, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, and Car accident
Minor: Miscarriage, Suicidal thoughts, Stalking, and War
onmalsshelf's review
5.0
Graphic: Mental illness, Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Injury/Injury detail
bootsmom3's review against another edition
3.0
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Infertility, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Xenophobia, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Gaslighting, and Alcohol
Moderate: Colonisation
Minor: Sexual content
inkdrinkers's review
4.0
I feel like Prince Harry needs no introduction, but in case you aren't well versed in the British monarchy or what's happened in the past thirty years, here is your incredibly brief run-down: Charles (the current king) married Diana Spencer, they had two boys. The press was always hounding Diana for years for not playing into their expectations for a princess. She died in a tunnel in Paris after being chased by paparazzi when Harry was only 12. This begins Harry's relationship with an institution who only sees him as an object to write about, rather than a human being growing up under critical gaze. This is Harry's story about his life, his relationship with his family, his military background, and his marriage to Meghan Markle.
MY REVIEW:
I don't blame you if you don't want context or dirt on anything that happened in this book. If you do, I've listed out a ton of things I noticed below. But overall, I'll give you my review here, at the top. Spare is an incredibly hard thing to rate because at the end of the day it's a man writing about his own life experiences and how are you supposed to rate that? The writing is flawless, though slow and boring a lot of times. Harry spends a lot of time on lengthy passages that just felt like they had no bearing on being in this book. There were also plenty of moments I noticed that he would set something up only for it to pay off later in life. I guess, when telling your life story, a lot of nuggets seem connected in retrospect.
Really, I do think this was well-written and I did find myself feeling horrifically bad for the events that happened to Harry. Prince, royalty, fame, or not - no one should have to live a life where they are scrutinized for every motion and free will stripped away. I just feel like it could have been about a hundred pages shorter. At the end of the day, this memoir serves to tell his side of the story, and yes, sometimes it's a boring one. I'm putting the content warnings below for anyone searching prior to reading.
Content Warnings: death of a parent, mentions of sex, emotional abuse, financial abuse, physical altercations, talk of war, racism (in relation to Meghan and war), dehumanization (of Harry and of people in war), grief, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks/mental health, miscarriage, alcoholism/drug use (on page, throughout)
THE MEAT OF IT:
I'm going to do my best here to sum up some of the notes I took while reading this book, but just know I'll be splitting these paragraphs up in this order: Harry's childhood, Harry as an active duty officer/in the military, William, and finally Meghan. This memoir opens up with Harry meeting his father and brother in the cemetery after the death of Prince Philip, Harry's grandfather and husband to Queen Elizabeth. They both expressed confusion as to why Harry even left the royal family in the beginning, and this is the catalyst for him sitting down to write a memoir about his entire life.
HARRY'S CHILDHOOD:
In the first third of the book Harry discusses his upbringing, going over the grief and confusion he experienced after the sudden death of his mother. There are a lot of details in here about how he always felt relegated to being the "spare" to William's "Heir" title because William was always going to become king eventually. Harry talks about the discrepancy in the way they were treated, from the sizes of bedrooms to the way their family would occasionally joke about Harry being the "spare" and how Harry always grew up knowing he was there in case William needed anything, from blood to a kidney transplant. Really it all boils down to his constant question of "Why's there a Union Jack on the coffin?", which is in reference to the British flag being laid on Diana's coffin and the way his personal grief has always been tied to public performance and reception.
This section also mentions interpersonal issues with the royal family, how they never hugged, never grew up affectionate, and how Charles was even severely bullied at boarding school and still has a tattered teddy bear, named Teddy, that he carries around (page 40, hardback ed.). A lot of this really just boils down to Harry having an upbringing that would make anyone a little insane. He was constantly fed to the press, every part of his life was a story and something for the entire world to read about, including his mistakes. He was also constantly objectified and briefly mentions the first time he had sex to being with an older woman who "rode him like a prize racehorse" and then left after her conquest (page 70).
There are nice sections of his childhood, of course everything wasn't always bad. I was baffled to learn he printed his old playstation username (imagine finding out your childhood Halo buddy was Prince Harry), talks of his relationships with the older members of his family, and genuinely moments he realized he was making lifelong friends. This section also covers his introduction to casual drug usage as a teen, plus the way people would prey on him just to get close to him. Harry's childhood is also peppered by the fact his brother, William, began to refuse having a personal relationship and always kept Harry at arms length because he didn't want his own image tainted by his younger brother.
HARRY'S MILITARY BACKGROUND:
Harry spent a lot of time in his 20s not knowing what he was supposed to do with his life, because it wasn't really his own. He decided that the military seemed like a good enough answer because of the structure it provided. I won't go into a lot of detail about the ways he discusses the military, but I felt like, genuinely, it provided a sense of family and security that he couldn't get anywhere else. There were people beside him that expected him to do right by them otherwise their lives were in danger, and for the first time it seemed like Harry realized that he was more than just a "spare" or something for the press to hunger over. He had actual responsibilities.
There were lots of moments of growth in his time in the military. He just seems like he attempts to be a good person as much as he can, including sharing his personal cell phone with other officers so they could call their loved ones. (He was required to keep one on his person because of his status as a royal.) Also, this man talked about his penis TOO MUCH. The frostbite story was funny, about how he got frostbitten skin after a trip to the North Pole right before William's wedding, but there are just some things I didn't need to know.
The military wasn't all rainbows and sunshine. There were moments that exposed the underbelly of the people around him knowing everything about him before they'd even met. When in training, specifically for torture training, Harry was mock-kidnapped and tortured by other officers, who brought up his mother in an attempt to break him. Most of this experience is glossed over in a way that I feel like only seems to be an attempt to disassociate from the memory. A lot of his life he was told to push through emotions, whether positive or negative, and that led to him hiking to the South Pole with a broken toe because "others had it worse." I'm just supremely grateful this man is in therapy, he'll probably need it until the day he dies.
WILLIAM:
I have a lot to say about this sack of used toilet paper. It comes down to the fact that regardless of Harry being the only other person on the planet to go through the exact same trauma as him, William refused to address his emotions and actually have a relationship with his brother. It's seen as early as when they were both at Eton together and telling Harry never to seek him out and to act like they aren't even related (page 42). It even extends to an obsession with the press where William clearly finds that his public presence is all that matters. Repeatedly, Harry brings up moments where he's trying to do his own work and be his own person and it's constantly undercut by William being worried that Harry will take good press from him. Even when Harry was starting the Invictus games, William (while Kate was pregnant) worried that Harry's work with wounded soldiers would make Harry a more popular royal. It's truly astounding how obsessed with his own image he is.
William's audacity is something else to behold on these pages. He makes fun of Harry's mental health and panic attacks. He had a hissy fit that Harry was able to get married with a beard and in the military uniform he chose (page 332). (The choice was not William's to make as future king when he was married, but Harry was alright because he was, again, the spare, and not as closely monitored) There are multiple moments where both Harry and Meghan attempted to sit down and have discussions with William and Kate, but they all end in fights. At one point William and Kate were mad that Harry and Meghan didn't give them EASTER PRESENTS? Kate brought Meghan to tears over Meghan's own wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses that needed to be hemmed (when there was a tailor on site, literally hemming garments but Kate wouldn't go.) It all culminated with Harry recounting a fight with William where William increasingly got angrier, then shoved Harry to the floor of Frogmore cottage where Harry landed on a dog bowl and cut his back. (page 360)
MEGHAN & NOW:
The third chunk of this book discusses Harry and Meghan meeting, their love story, and leaving the monarchy. At times this section really does feel like a fairy-tale, from fleeting moments in bars to fleeing to Africa just so they can get some peace together and see if this thing will truly work. Harry does mention in past sections other girlfriends and how things just don't click, how they were either not the right person or the right person and wrong circumstances, and I do appreciate the way he reflects kindly on a lot of the people he dated before Meghan. What I didn't appreciate, however, was the true colors that shine through on occasion with the way he speaks about Meghan originally. There's a weird moment when he's describing the luggage Meghan brought to Botswana and he talks about how expects her bag to have a hair dryer and other luxuries when she's literally camping in the bush, and how he was pleasantly surprised she didn't. This weird "not like other girls" moment felt out of left field and left a bad taste in my mouth. (page 278)
There were lots of sweet moments, from them grocery shopping together, but separate aisles in disguises texting back and forth to avoid paparazzi, to Harry borrowing Tom Hardy's costume from Mad Max so he could go to a Halloween party incognito. A lot of times friends were at the heart of Harry and Meghan's relationship even having the chance to blossom and then survive, with many friends offering their kindness, and even homes in the case of Tyler Perry who helped them move to LA during the start of the COVID pandemic.
Much of the final chapters of this book discuss Harry's relationship with the royal family. He confirms his support for the queen "even after she's gone" but wishes that they had done more for him and his family when their lives were threatened, Meghan was suicidal, and their entire livelihood stripped away (page 386). In the end, it's clear that regardless of how much Harry wanted to ride the line between royal and normal life, he had to choose. And he chose Meghan and his children over repeating the trauma that happened to him and risking his wife's life.
OVERALL:
Graphic: Grief and Death of parent
Moderate: Alcoholism, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Racism, and War
Minor: Miscarriage and Suicidal thoughts
kcarney86's review against another edition
3.0
Graphic: Bullying, Racial slurs, Grief, Stalking, Car accident, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Drug use, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, and War
Minor: Miscarriage, Pregnancy, and Colonisation
whatmadsreads's review against another edition
4.0
Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Car accident, Death of parent, and War
Moderate: Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Grief, Car accident, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and War
zeebookdragon's review against another edition
3.0
Not a bad memoir. Harry’s life has not been all roses and parades. His hatred of the press is justified considering their role in Princess Diana’s death. I greatly respect the effort he put in to find a way to serve his country.
Overall, this was an insightful read that could have been 100 pages shorter.
Graphic: Bullying, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Grief, Stalking, Death of parent, and War
buttermellow's review
5.0
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Grief, Death of parent, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Miscarriage, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Pregnancy, and War
Minor: Racism, Suicide, and Colonisation