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ovenbird_reads's review against another edition
4.0
Such a disorienting look into mental illness, superstition, and family dysfunction and abuse. Wong's book reveals much about human fragility and resilience.
camille_catterpillar's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
medium-paced
A very difficult but engrossing read. I honestly can't rate it, and I'd be hard pressed to earnestly recommend it, yet I couldn't put it down. Wong's raw writing style and her determination to tackle unfathomable horrible situations with dark humour is commendable. Also, I found the subject matter fascinating and nor often talked about - not mental illness itself, or its consequences, but rather the infectious consequences of ignoring it. It also draws a bold portrait of a "complex" abusive situation, where every abuser is also abused, where general pathos forces the reader to sit uncomfortably with the nuanced realities of illness and ignorance, and generati9nal trauma.
iftheshoef1tz's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.0
While I don’t think I would have liked Lindsay as a person growing up, I feel such deep empathy for her past self, and clearly she really pities her younger, deeply emotionally stunted childhood self. The complicated love she feels for her mother, despite her mother’s frequent inability to be maternal, was so poignant, and I think that is true for many people and their emotionally abusive parents. The way mental illness was described in this book was upsetting and definitely didn’t pull any punches. I felt particularly terrible for Poh-Poh: off her anti-psychotics, she was hallucinating and unable to function, but from the description of her on medication doesn’t feel much more hopeful. I hope Lindsay is doing and feeling better - her comments throughout the book make it pretty obvious she’s had some therapy and is learning to recover/work around all that trauma.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Medical trauma, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fatphobia, and Emotional abuse
emjay2021's review against another edition
I took a very big break (6 months) in the middle of reading this. Partly it was because I had gotten it from the library and then had to return it before I was finished; partly it was because it was too exhausting to read all at once.
I recall a Goodreads commenter saying that they did not feel comfortable rating memoirs, because they didn't like the idea of critiquing someone's life experiences. I confess I have similar feelings. I know that some readers have expressed skepticism about all the events Lindsay Wong recounts in this memoir, but given that I've met several people who have experienced this kind of childhood abuse...I think "this has to be exaggerated" is something people just tell themselves because it's less disturbing than acknowledging it exists. I mean, sure, perhaps the conversations the author recounts aren't exactly accurate word-for-word, but that doesn't mean they are *untrue*.
I do find it kind of odd that this book was marketed as "darkly comedic," because although there were a couple of places where I laughed, most of it is just horrifying. It's the story of a child who was emotionally and physically abused, and whose family suffered from severe, untreated mental illness. Now, it is definitely a story of resilience: Lindsay Wong eventually emerged from this traumatic childhood, developed self-awareness and an understanding that her childhood was not normal and not her fault. But comedic? Nope. And that's not even taking into account the devastation caused by her own debilitating neurological disorder!
Like the author's family, my mother and her family are ethnically Chinese and immigrated from Asia to Canada (in fact, I grew up near Vancouver, like her, and I also attended UBC). So, there were some cultural aspects of the story I could relate to, like the intense fear of mental illness, the explaining away of extended family members' odd behaviour, and the idea that seeking counselling and psychiatric help is "only for crazy people" and thus to be avoided at all costs (because to be mentally ill was seen as a personal failing). I was also taught a lot of Chinese superstitions and cultural practices, and I can see how it would be confusing if there were also untreated mental illness thrown into the mix. At one point, Lindsay says it was hard for her to tell the difference between genuine Chinese superstitions and the things her family believed because of their mental illnesses.
Although I found the overall story interesting, particularly the last 1/3 which describes Lindsay's struggles with her neurological disorder while in grad school in New York, I was less engaged by the first 2/3 of the book, which I found a bit repetitive. I also think that her writing style is not one I prefer--it is raw, crude, and sharp, which is a legitimate stylistic choice and suits the subject matter, but simply isn't a style I am naturally drawn to.
So, would I recommend it? I don't know. I can see why it was recommended to me, and I am not sorry I read it. I think it is worth checking out, because if it is the kind of story you'll like, you'll like it. But if it is not a book for you, I think you'll be able to tell from reading my review.
I recall a Goodreads commenter saying that they did not feel comfortable rating memoirs, because they didn't like the idea of critiquing someone's life experiences. I confess I have similar feelings. I know that some readers have expressed skepticism about all the events Lindsay Wong recounts in this memoir, but given that I've met several people who have experienced this kind of childhood abuse...I think "this has to be exaggerated" is something people just tell themselves because it's less disturbing than acknowledging it exists. I mean, sure, perhaps the conversations the author recounts aren't exactly accurate word-for-word, but that doesn't mean they are *untrue*.
I do find it kind of odd that this book was marketed as "darkly comedic," because although there were a couple of places where I laughed, most of it is just horrifying. It's the story of a child who was emotionally and physically abused, and whose family suffered from severe, untreated mental illness. Now, it is definitely a story of resilience: Lindsay Wong eventually emerged from this traumatic childhood, developed self-awareness and an understanding that her childhood was not normal and not her fault. But comedic? Nope. And that's not even taking into account the devastation caused by her own debilitating neurological disorder!
Like the author's family, my mother and her family are ethnically Chinese and immigrated from Asia to Canada (in fact, I grew up near Vancouver, like her, and I also attended UBC). So, there were some cultural aspects of the story I could relate to, like the intense fear of mental illness, the explaining away of extended family members' odd behaviour, and the idea that seeking counselling and psychiatric help is "only for crazy people" and thus to be avoided at all costs (because to be mentally ill was seen as a personal failing). I was also taught a lot of Chinese superstitions and cultural practices, and I can see how it would be confusing if there were also untreated mental illness thrown into the mix. At one point, Lindsay says it was hard for her to tell the difference between genuine Chinese superstitions and the things her family believed because of their mental illnesses.
Although I found the overall story interesting, particularly the last 1/3 which describes Lindsay's struggles with her neurological disorder while in grad school in New York, I was less engaged by the first 2/3 of the book, which I found a bit repetitive. I also think that her writing style is not one I prefer--it is raw, crude, and sharp, which is a legitimate stylistic choice and suits the subject matter, but simply isn't a style I am naturally drawn to.
So, would I recommend it? I don't know. I can see why it was recommended to me, and I am not sorry I read it. I think it is worth checking out, because if it is the kind of story you'll like, you'll like it. But if it is not a book for you, I think you'll be able to tell from reading my review.
lisalikesdogs's review against another edition
3.0
I enjoyed this very much. Such an interesting history - hard to believe even, knowing Lindsay now! A world I know nothing about, so I learned a lot having a window into it.
amn028's review against another edition
2.0
I struggled to finish this book. The writing is good but the subject matter is hard.