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james1star's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
I think this book would have got a 4.5 ⭐️ rating but since finishing it and checking out some other reviews, it has come to my attention the author’s (ex) wife has made some serious allegations of sexual assault, domestic abuse, character deformation and others again not her - the link to an article from 2019 can be read here: https://thepostmillennial.com/a-bestselling-trans-authors-tweet-thread-about-abuse-goes-viral-then-came-the-allegations-of-her-own-abuse/ For this reason I have chosen to lower my rating to 3 ⭐️s. I would still recommend it but pick it up second hand, online or through the library as I wouldn’t feel comfortable promoting this author. I was initially interested in her second novel but will not be reading it. All I say next is about the book only.
If I Was Your Girl follows the story Amanda, a trans female teenager, who moved to small town southern America to live with her dad. This is just after a recent hate crime and worries from her mum, with the focus on Amanda keeping her head down, graduating and then living her life. But this is hard considering her newness attracts female friendships and attraction from the boys too. She is finally living as a girl, has a great girl gang and a boyfriend - all things she’d never have thought were possible. Interspersed is also flashbacks to different points in her life which were written well as it’s like she is actually that age. There is more to the plot but I don’t want to spoil it.
The main character Amanda was really great, she was so developed and had a lot to her, was lovable, a great friend and you truly wanted good things to come her way. In the author’s notes, Russo states she wrote her to be a very positive and rather unrealistic portrayal of a trans woman but her life isn’t not possible, it’s just an unattainable ideal for many trans people (e.g. passing, attractive, family financially capable to afford surgeries and so forth). I think this could possibly be to cater to the cisgender majority, alongside some other plot points, as this was one of the first widely distributed YA novels about a trans teen written by a trans woman where some more complexity would’ve have gone a miss. The main love interest Grant is an adorable character with many lovable personality traits and just generally a cutie. As the book goes on there is something I wasn’t that happy with but I won’t say anymore. This also goes for Bee who I absolutely loved until something as well. Ananda’s friendship with Layla, Chloe and Anna was very nice and they were written well. However, it is hard to mention all that much about them except their ‘tokenism’ being the fashionista I guess but kinda forgettable one, gay one and religious one respectively. That being said, as a group they were good.
In terms of writing, I think this was done well. It’s nothing amazing but there are some well curated parts, three quotes are at the end. The messages are good I’d say as well, it’s hard to read at times with a sense of ‘queer shame’ being a prevalent motif like other books. But there is a very hopefully element to it as well. I think this was good at laying some of the groundwork for other trans books to grow upon, catered to a cisgender audience still but I’m guessing would be great for transgender people to read a story like this when there wasn’t many. In 2023 I would say it’s aged slightly, not being the first choice for a trans contemporary but 7 years ago, it would have been a vital resource for many. There are many trigger warnings in this novel with quite a few difficulty passages as well, focusing on transphobic and homophobic rhetoric, hate crimes, bullying, suicide and others. It’s not a bombardment in a ‘torture p*orn’ way and in many ways it’s a realistic portrayal of such incidents but yes it can be an emotional one - I did end up shedding a few tears. I cannot speak for trans people as a 23 year old half-out gay male-presenting (I don’t really know my gender identity for sure but right now I’m comfortable being labelled cisgender) person, but I would think young closeted trans girls and boys might find particular points more distressing but hopefully uplifting too.
Overall, this was definitely quite a difficult book to get my head around in terms of reviewing it. I think it is good and would recommend but do take into consideration the TWs, it’s a rather up and down storyline too but Yhh… I don’t want to give away any spoilers.
Quotes:
‘Bodies pressed and swirled around me, but I didn't mind. I always avoided crowds instinctively, but tonight the crush of bodies actually felt comforting. Dancing with a boy for the first time in my entire life, I felt like a part of the people around me, like another cell in a healthy body instead of a hidden disease.’
‘I wished I could walk up into the sky and live on some distant planet, far away from the things I was afraid of. I wondered if joy could ever be felt by itself without being tainted with fear and confusion, or if some level of misery was a universal constant, like the speed of light.’
‘felt myself in my own body being loved and accepted, and it felt so good it was almost surreal. This wasn’t my life. This couldn’t be my life. Things like this did not happen to girls like me.’
If I Was Your Girl follows the story Amanda, a trans female teenager, who moved to small town southern America to live with her dad. This is just after a recent hate crime and worries from her mum, with the focus on Amanda keeping her head down, graduating and then living her life. But this is hard considering her newness attracts female friendships and attraction from the boys too. She is finally living as a girl, has a great girl gang and a boyfriend - all things she’d never have thought were possible. Interspersed is also flashbacks to different points in her life which were written well as it’s like she is actually that age. There is more to the plot but I don’t want to spoil it.
The main character Amanda was really great, she was so developed and had a lot to her, was lovable, a great friend and you truly wanted good things to come her way. In the author’s notes, Russo states she wrote her to be a very positive and rather unrealistic portrayal of a trans woman but her life isn’t not possible, it’s just an unattainable ideal for many trans people (e.g. passing, attractive, family financially capable to afford surgeries and so forth). I think this could possibly be to cater to the cisgender majority, alongside some other plot points, as this was one of the first widely distributed YA novels about a trans teen written by a trans woman where some more complexity would’ve have gone a miss. The main love interest Grant is an adorable character with many lovable personality traits and just generally a cutie. As the book goes on there is something I wasn’t that happy with but I won’t say anymore. This also goes for Bee who I absolutely loved until something as well. Ananda’s friendship with Layla, Chloe and Anna was very nice and they were written well. However, it is hard to mention all that much about them except their ‘tokenism’ being the fashionista I guess but kinda forgettable one, gay one and religious one respectively. That being said, as a group they were good.
In terms of writing, I think this was done well. It’s nothing amazing but there are some well curated parts, three quotes are at the end. The messages are good I’d say as well, it’s hard to read at times with a sense of ‘queer shame’ being a prevalent motif like other books. But there is a very hopefully element to it as well. I think this was good at laying some of the groundwork for other trans books to grow upon, catered to a cisgender audience still but I’m guessing would be great for transgender people to read a story like this when there wasn’t many. In 2023 I would say it’s aged slightly, not being the first choice for a trans contemporary but 7 years ago, it would have been a vital resource for many. There are many trigger warnings in this novel with quite a few difficulty passages as well, focusing on transphobic and homophobic rhetoric, hate crimes, bullying, suicide and others. It’s not a bombardment in a ‘torture p*orn’ way and in many ways it’s a realistic portrayal of such incidents but yes it can be an emotional one - I did end up shedding a few tears. I cannot speak for trans people as a 23 year old half-out gay male-presenting (I don’t really know my gender identity for sure but right now I’m comfortable being labelled cisgender) person, but I would think young closeted trans girls and boys might find particular points more distressing but hopefully uplifting too.
Overall, this was definitely quite a difficult book to get my head around in terms of reviewing it. I think it is good and would recommend but do take into consideration the TWs, it’s a rather up and down storyline too but Yhh… I don’t want to give away any spoilers.
Quotes:
‘Bodies pressed and swirled around me, but I didn't mind. I always avoided crowds instinctively, but tonight the crush of bodies actually felt comforting. Dancing with a boy for the first time in my entire life, I felt like a part of the people around me, like another cell in a healthy body instead of a hidden disease.’
‘I wished I could walk up into the sky and live on some distant planet, far away from the things I was afraid of. I wondered if joy could ever be felt by itself without being tainted with fear and confusion, or if some level of misery was a universal constant, like the speed of light.’
‘felt myself in my own body being loved and accepted, and it felt so good it was almost surreal. This wasn’t my life. This couldn’t be my life. Things like this did not happen to girls like me.’
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Suicide attempt, Bullying, Transphobia, and Homophobia
Moderate: Lesbophobia, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Outing
Minor: Alcoholism, Deadnaming, Religious bigotry, Domestic abuse, Drug use, and Rape
hazeljade's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
This might be my new personal favorite book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Self harm, Religious bigotry, Suicide attempt, Drug abuse, Outing, Physical abuse, Medical content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Sexual assault, Deadnaming, Sexual harassment, Injury/Injury detail, Dysphoria, Lesbophobia, and Hate crime
Moderate: Grief, Hate crime, and Violence
Minor: Alcohol
With all of these triggers it is amazingly well written. Looking at all the topics covered I'm surprised how well each was handled so my overall impression of the book was unbelievably positive and encouraging.maxtiu's review against another edition
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Hate crime, Homophobia, and Religious bigotry
bittersorbitol's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
The romance wasn't my favourite, but I loved the main character and her friends, as well as the narration style of jumping between past and present scenes. I'm engaged to a trans woman, and while this book certainly does touch on a lot of important and relative topics it's important to keep in mind that a lot of it is fictionalized for ease of understanding (this is addressed directly by the author)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Deadnaming, Dysphoria, Hate crime, Outing, Sexual assault, Suicide attempt, and Transphobia
Moderate: Sexual content, Medical content, Religious bigotry, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Bullying
Minor: Toxic friendship and Violence
Deals with a lot of realities of being a trans woman, includes details aboutlindsayhotrod's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
Content Warnings
Graphic: Dysphoria, Hate crime, Suicide attempt, Violence, Outing, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Bullying, and Suicide
Moderate: Deadnaming and Homophobia
Minor: Sexual violence, Drug use, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Religious bigotry, Classism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment
nicholasl_'s review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Bullying, Dysphoria, Homophobia, Hate crime, Outing, Sexual assault, and Suicide attempt
Minor: Religious bigotry
jesikasbookshelf's review against another edition
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
Nope.
Nope.
Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope.
For the first quarter or so I thought this book was underwhelming representation in a YA novel. God, I wish I'd quit still thinking that.
This book is nothing short of irresponsible publishing.
For a book marketed as a light and sweet YA romance, this book is nothing, and I truly mean nothing, other than protracted queer trauma. The main character is trans - not only does this book make her ONLY identifiable 'personality' the idea that she is pretty and trans, it perpetuates harmful misunderstandings of the trans community from the singular need for top and bottom surgery, through the lack of ongoing therapy to the young and apparently extremely quick uptake of accessible surgery.
So in some ways, this book manages to completely gloss over the very real fight transgender people go through to live as themselves in western society, thereby failing to reflect on the ways in which the main character has had to be traumatised at a young age.
What it does instead is focus entirely on the trauma she experiences socially. Her dad continually deadnames and misgenders her. There is a long scene depicting her suicide attempt not from an explanation of how often she has learned her trans friends have succeeded. There is depictions of religious prejudice and societal homophobia/transphobia that culminate in a girl offering to be her friend even though "I think it's a sin"...and the main character THANKS HER. A bi character is shown telling people that all homophones are secretly gay, a disturbing thing to be telling kids in a book, only to progress to publically outing everyone she can think of when turned down by the straight main character. The love interests mum calls the main character a slur, he makes horrendous comments about her gender and genitalia and then offers to stick by her anyway...for which she is endlessly grateful. Her parents allow her to return to a school that has failed to protect her in a community that has harmed her.
I'm so angry. None of this is OK, particularly when none of it is then dealt with. There's no emotional arc or growth or character development here. No one learns anything or meaningfully changes their behaviour, exception only the main characters dad. There is no reflection on the trauma being unacceptable, on the need for change or the need for support and protection of rights. The book just uses trans and queer pain as plot points and acts as though that is acceptable.
And then, in this anger, I looked up the author after finishing the book and I just cannot believe any publisher is allowing this person to speak about their community with a book that includes sexual assault. Horrendous.
Nope.
Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope.
For the first quarter or so I thought this book was underwhelming representation in a YA novel. God, I wish I'd quit still thinking that.
This book is nothing short of irresponsible publishing.
For a book marketed as a light and sweet YA romance, this book is nothing, and I truly mean nothing, other than protracted queer trauma. The main character is trans - not only does this book make her ONLY identifiable 'personality' the idea that she is pretty and trans, it perpetuates harmful misunderstandings of the trans community from the singular need for top and bottom surgery, through the lack of ongoing therapy to the young and apparently extremely quick uptake of accessible surgery.
So in some ways, this book manages to completely gloss over the very real fight transgender people go through to live as themselves in western society, thereby failing to reflect on the ways in which the main character has had to be traumatised at a young age.
What it does instead is focus entirely on the trauma she experiences socially. Her dad continually deadnames and misgenders her. There is a long scene depicting her suicide attempt not from an explanation of how often she has learned her trans friends have succeeded. There is depictions of religious prejudice and societal homophobia/transphobia that culminate in a girl offering to be her friend even though "I think it's a sin"...and the main character THANKS HER. A bi character is shown telling people that all homophones are secretly gay, a disturbing thing to be telling kids in a book, only to progress to publically outing everyone she can think of when turned down by the straight main character. The love interests mum calls the main character a slur, he makes horrendous comments about her gender and genitalia and then offers to stick by her anyway...for which she is endlessly grateful. Her parents allow her to return to a school that has failed to protect her in a community that has harmed her.
I'm so angry. None of this is OK, particularly when none of it is then dealt with. There's no emotional arc or growth or character development here. No one learns anything or meaningfully changes their behaviour, exception only the main characters dad. There is no reflection on the trauma being unacceptable, on the need for change or the need for support and protection of rights. The book just uses trans and queer pain as plot points and acts as though that is acceptable.
And then, in this anger, I looked up the author after finishing the book and I just cannot believe any publisher is allowing this person to speak about their community with a book that includes sexual assault. Horrendous.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual violence, Violence, Toxic friendship, Physical abuse, Drug abuse, Homophobia, Deadnaming, Transphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Bullying, Religious bigotry, Outing, Hate crime, Suicide, and Sexual assault
reclusivebookslug's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
You gotta love a book with a trans main character, written by a trans author, with a trans model on the cover.
This was one of the first books I read about trans people when I was younger, at a time when I didn't hold any animosity toward them but was deeply uninformed on the topic. Looking back now as someone with a better grasp on the queer community, I still enjoy it. In many ways, Amanda's experience is rare, in a way that makes her story more understandable and palatable to those innocently ignorant. I admire how the author addresses this at the end of the book. I think there's some merit to introducing people to a new concept by starting with something they're more familiar with, as long as that image does not invalidate others. At the same time, Amanda is not the platonic ideal of a trans person for a cis audience, either, which balances things out for me. The book discusses her dysphoria, mental health issues, bullying, experience with transphobic hate crime, fear of rejection, and guilt about how her gender has affected her family and for "hiding" her identity from her peers in a new town.
I can't comment on the realism or relatability of the trans issues discussed, except to say that I have heard similar from other trans people, but I will say that the description of mental health issues, in particular suicidal ideation, mirrors my own experiences.
The ending, or lack thereof, is both frustrating and thematically important. It doesn't matter if she gets the guy at the end, that's out of her control. The important thing is that she has learned to accept herself and realize that she deserves love (whether or not that love comes from a specific person being mostly irrelevant). Grant does not get to determine whether or not her story has a happy ending, she does. On the other hand... I was rooting for them to be together and part of me desperately wants a fluffy monologue. The closure we get about her friends sticking by her in part makes up for the lack of romantic closure, and the friendship aspect is in many ways more important for her character.
This was one of the first books I read about trans people when I was younger, at a time when I didn't hold any animosity toward them but was deeply uninformed on the topic. Looking back now as someone with a better grasp on the queer community, I still enjoy it. In many ways, Amanda's experience is rare, in a way that makes her story more understandable and palatable to those innocently ignorant. I admire how the author addresses this at the end of the book. I think there's some merit to introducing people to a new concept by starting with something they're more familiar with, as long as that image does not invalidate others. At the same time, Amanda is not the platonic ideal of a trans person for a cis audience, either, which balances things out for me. The book discusses her dysphoria, mental health issues, bullying, experience with transphobic hate crime, fear of rejection, and guilt about how her gender has affected her family and for "hiding" her identity from her peers in a new town.
I can't comment on the realism or relatability of the trans issues discussed, except to say that I have heard similar from other trans people, but I will say that the description of mental health issues, in particular suicidal ideation, mirrors my own experiences.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicide attempt
Minor: Homophobia, Hate crime, and Transphobia
lilikamasha's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Outing, Bullying, Suicide attempt, and Transphobia
Moderate: Rape, Dysphoria, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Homophobia, Religious bigotry, Sexual violence, Biphobia, Gun violence, Deadnaming, Hate crime, Mental illness, and Violence
Minor: Suicide
queenfury's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Deadnaming, Suicide attempt, and Homophobia
Moderate: Hate crime, Sexual assault, Outing, Religious bigotry, and Bullying