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purplepierogi's review
3.0
not sure how to rate this one — this is one man’s experience, and in some sense, what more can you do than just tell your side of the story, lyrically and thoughtfully? this guy was shocked and bewildered, understandably, when his wife suffered a psychotic break and then a deep depression late in her 20s, after a fairytale romance and charmed existence. he details navigating hospitalization, medication, diagnoses, and in a personal level, renegotiating trust and boundaries and dealing with resentment. one thing that jumps out is how self-fixated he is — how this affects his life, how hard her condition has made it, though he recognizes it’s not her fault. but giving him the benefit of the doubt, sure, it’s his book, it’s going to be his perspective, and a lot of that perspective was not as empathetic as we would imagine ourselves to be in the situation. that being said, though, the guy gets a little repetitive, lol. tell me again how you love to surf everyday and how you grew up in Japan!
thinking about psychosis like this — wow. it truly is astounding the privileges this family had in treating their loved one — 3 month paid caretaking leave, to start; the insurance for long term medication and specialists; two sets of extremely involved parents (flying out from Japan and Italy every other week respectively to come and check in on him??); a nest egg that allowed unemployment and a rekindling-four-month-international-trip. and of course, what this book is about, the unconditional love of a partner sacrificing time and advocating on your behalf and staying even when it’s scary, literally taking care of you… man. I just wish everyone had that. And again, how can I criticize them for this? It’s their story. No spoilers but I’m glad they had resources.
we never really know what’s coming ( :/ ).. but it’s nice to see some love. even if this guy didn’t always get it and was condescending a bit!
thinking about psychosis like this — wow. it truly is astounding the privileges this family had in treating their loved one — 3 month paid caretaking leave, to start; the insurance for long term medication and specialists; two sets of extremely involved parents (flying out from Japan and Italy every other week respectively to come and check in on him??); a nest egg that allowed unemployment and a rekindling-four-month-international-trip. and of course, what this book is about, the unconditional love of a partner sacrificing time and advocating on your behalf and staying even when it’s scary, literally taking care of you… man. I just wish everyone had that. And again, how can I criticize them for this? It’s their story. No spoilers but I’m glad they had resources.
we never really know what’s coming ( :/ ).. but it’s nice to see some love. even if this guy didn’t always get it and was condescending a bit!
chelseatm's review
4.0
I thought this was a very good book. It told me a perspective I've never heard before - that of the observer of mental illness. The way he details his journey through discovering and living with mental illness while struggling with his inability to control it was powerful. I kept thinking how great this would be to read in tandem with Jenny Lawson's second book and How Can I Help by David Goldbloom.
Another thing I appreciated about the book was its honesty. The author, Lukach, never held back or tried to shine a positive light on himself. He was honest with all the ugly sides of himself while dealing with his wife's mental illness. But he was human and I found it easy to relate to his frustration, resentment, and desperation. I don't think I'd feel any differently if my partner were sick.
I think this is a very good memoir and I highly recommend it.
Another thing I appreciated about the book was its honesty. The author, Lukach, never held back or tried to shine a positive light on himself. He was honest with all the ugly sides of himself while dealing with his wife's mental illness. But he was human and I found it easy to relate to his frustration, resentment, and desperation. I don't think I'd feel any differently if my partner were sick.
I think this is a very good memoir and I highly recommend it.
katieana_210's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
leahpoplestone's review against another edition
4.0
This book was so beautifully written. It certainly exceeded my expectations. You could feel the heartbreak the author experienced each time his wife was admitted into the hospital, and the effect that it had on him and their family. For sure a book about the power of love and perseverance.
nafisahajjateeumar's review
5.0
I wasn't sure what to expect when I began reading this but, wow. I'm left speechless.
I don't think I've ever read a more honest, genuine and sincere book. It sheds a lot of light on what it's like being a caregiver for someone with a debilitating illness. Wanting to do so much for them, yet being limited in how much you can help them.
I think we commit to people sometimes without really considering what the phrase "in illness and in health" means. I can't think of a better illustration of that. I love it when human bonds persist, and even thrive, in the face of really difficult life challenges.
10/10. Would recommend. Puts into perspective how transient life is and how we should appreciate the little things. In fact, it puts a lot into perspective.
I think my favourite thing about this book is that Mark doesn't hide his own shortcomings and those of the people he loves. It's so sincere. They're human, above everything. We're human. I love it.
I don't think I've ever read a more honest, genuine and sincere book. It sheds a lot of light on what it's like being a caregiver for someone with a debilitating illness. Wanting to do so much for them, yet being limited in how much you can help them.
I think we commit to people sometimes without really considering what the phrase "in illness and in health" means. I can't think of a better illustration of that. I love it when human bonds persist, and even thrive, in the face of really difficult life challenges.
10/10. Would recommend. Puts into perspective how transient life is and how we should appreciate the little things. In fact, it puts a lot into perspective.
I think my favourite thing about this book is that Mark doesn't hide his own shortcomings and those of the people he loves. It's so sincere. They're human, above everything. We're human. I love it.
tophat8855's review
4.0
Pretty quick read. An interesting look into the mental health system. I spent a lot of time thinking about how much privilege Lukach had to have a nest egg to take months off of work to manage life and, it appears, to have mental health coverage for insurance. I wonder how the story would go if those things weren't lined up for them.