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raesock's review
4.0
Trystan is a great storyteller and after following his family on instagram for a while, I enjoyed reading their story this way. You can tell by the way he writes that Trystan has worked hard on understanding himself and how to communicate, which I like. I can't imagine the stress he goes through by being out and vocal about his pregnancy and family, but I am glad that he is.
saracat's review
4.0
I want to first thank The Experiment and NetGalley for giving me access to this book for free in exchange for an honest review.
(Note: Due to life events, I was not able to post this review immediately after finishing the book.)
I deeply appreciated the honestly that the reader feels from Trystan. He is open about the mistakes he made in thoughts, words, and actions. And, as he himself points out, people who are part of minority groups that face discrimination often feel the pressure to be perfect so as to not give 'people' further ammunition to attack them. So, his bravery to include the bad along with the good is amazing. But, I think it also makes it a better book because it doesn't try to hide the truth - which I think is important.
I liked the format of each chapter. How it focused in on the next overall step in the process - which kept the story moving linearly, but also gave it shape, making it easier to follow and understand. I thought it was great that at the end of each chapter he included his thoughts about what he learned and advise he feels could be helpful to others.
I've recommended this book already to some people and will continue to do so.
(Note: Due to life events, I was not able to post this review immediately after finishing the book.)
I deeply appreciated the honestly that the reader feels from Trystan. He is open about the mistakes he made in thoughts, words, and actions. And, as he himself points out, people who are part of minority groups that face discrimination often feel the pressure to be perfect so as to not give 'people' further ammunition to attack them. So, his bravery to include the bad along with the good is amazing. But, I think it also makes it a better book because it doesn't try to hide the truth - which I think is important.
I liked the format of each chapter. How it focused in on the next overall step in the process - which kept the story moving linearly, but also gave it shape, making it easier to follow and understand. I thought it was great that at the end of each chapter he included his thoughts about what he learned and advise he feels could be helpful to others.
I've recommended this book already to some people and will continue to do so.
bashsbooks's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
3.75
How We Do Family is an important piece that illuminates the realities of adoptions and trans pregnancy. My favorite aspect of this book is Reese's unwavering honesty, even in the face of his and his partner's past missteps (such as his anger toward Biff's family, for example). It's written thoughtfully and compassionately for the most part, and it's really good for people who have never considered what a trans man's family would look like or what gay men's families can look like.
That said, I feel like I know too much about the topics he's discussing (the queer ones, not the parenting ones) to fully enjoy this book. He mentions biphobia at one point... and then is (unintentionally, I believe) biphobic in the next line. He mentions several times throughout the book that he doesn't believe (or didn't in the past? it's unclear) that trans men experience transphobia nearly as much as trans women... and then describes his horrific personal experiences with transphobia, especially while pregnant. It seems like he is trying to flatten definitions and experiences to be easily digestible for a cishet audience, which is understandable to some degree, but just not something I love to read as a bi trans man.
That said, I feel like I know too much about the topics he's discussing (the queer ones, not the parenting ones) to fully enjoy this book. He mentions biphobia at one point... and then is (unintentionally, I believe) biphobic in the next line. He mentions several times throughout the book that he doesn't believe (or didn't in the past? it's unclear) that trans men experience transphobia nearly as much as trans women... and then describes his horrific personal experiences with transphobia, especially while pregnant. It seems like he is trying to flatten definitions and experiences to be easily digestible for a cishet audience, which is understandable to some degree, but just not something I love to read as a bi trans man.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Transphobia, Pregnancy, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Injury/Injury detail, Miscarriage, Medical content, Homophobia, and Child abuse
Moderate: Misogyny, Sexism, Classism, and Physical abuse
Minor: Bullying
jenniferlv84's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
lighthearted
sad
fast-paced
4.0
gwensadventure's review
4.0
I didn't expect a memoir of some guy I don't know anything about to make me so....emotional? But it did and it was bliss.
This was is a captivating story of love and family and also a really important story about one man's experience as a trans parent and pregnant person. Honestly, I could not put it down. I'm not a parent, but i thought it was cool how he mixed parenting advice and important notes about language and LGBTQ+ terminology with the stories he shares. While it can definitely be difficult to find balance between sharing children's stories and protecting their privacy, this seemed to strike a nice balance. At several times in the book,I found myself crying some happy tears and also some sad.
I have seen trans men on TV, but always like a sideshow event--'other'. This story humanizes trans men who are pregnant, gives language to use and brings you along on the truly beautiful crazy path of becoming family--in all the different ways. I think this story is important and captivating and absolutely worth reading ASAP!
This was is a captivating story of love and family and also a really important story about one man's experience as a trans parent and pregnant person. Honestly, I could not put it down. I'm not a parent, but i thought it was cool how he mixed parenting advice and important notes about language and LGBTQ+ terminology with the stories he shares. While it can definitely be difficult to find balance between sharing children's stories and protecting their privacy, this seemed to strike a nice balance. At several times in the book,I found myself crying some happy tears and also some sad.
I have seen trans men on TV, but always like a sideshow event--'other'. This story humanizes trans men who are pregnant, gives language to use and brings you along on the truly beautiful crazy path of becoming family--in all the different ways. I think this story is important and captivating and absolutely worth reading ASAP!