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cschaepe84's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
So yeah, I've been curious about this book on and off for a long time, and I'm glad I'm finally getting around to reading it. Premise is interesting and the first part of the book is drawing me in.
Seriously though, spice, passion, mystery, and an emotional thrill ride, this book HAD IT ALL. I hadn't wanted to read this due to have already read quite a few secret message/pen pal lovers by now, and most were great, others "eh, it's okay" but lacking, but THIS is probably the very best one I've read in that genre.
To be fair, the book takes places AFTER Misha and Ryen have been writing to each other for seven years, and although we do get a few glimpses of some past letters, they are not actively writing each other at this point and know each other, even though their identities are secret. In addition, Misha has stopped writing Ryen for a good three months, which in and of itself becomes a mystery to her among many other things. What happened? Misha was her life-line, her best friend and confidant, even though she has never met him in person. The two are twin flames, and she has fallen for him mentally and emotionally. But maybe the same can't be said for her? Either way, she doesn't know, and the angst of not having him in her life becomes too much so she feels she has no one to talk to, no one to relate to, something I feel I myself can relate with. But with Ryen, that angst had turned her into something else. A lie. Something she hates. She ends up creating this persona that isn't her, a personality that she thinks will make everyone like her, even if it is only just superficially. Nevertheless, the pain eats at her, and she acts out in ways, no one would ever imagine.
Enter then, Masen, who we know from the get-go is actually Misha. He shows up to her school one day, on a covert mission (of which I had to sit there and guess until nearly the very end, and when that ending happened...WHOA). He's had one encounter with Ryen in the past, of which Ryen wasn't aware of, but seeing her in person in school, in her own surroundings, he feels anger and disappointment. The deep, thoughtful, insightful, intelligent girl he had fallen in love with in the letters was actually everything he hates, superficial, shallow, a "mean girl". He feels cheated and duped, and can't help but act out in anger against her when they do collide. But...something about her, even when she's acting in ways that makes him cringe, is wrong. There's more to Ryen than what he sees on the surface, and he's set to finding out what that could be.
All this takes place while the school has a vandal on the loose, writing strange, esoteric messages on the walls and in other places for the student body to see in the morning from the night before. Ryen has a strong feeling Masen, the mysterious, yet forbidden boy that she's grown to hate due to his animosity towards her, may have a hand in it all. As much as she can't stand him, and he her, these two can't stay away from one another, and course, sparks fly, heating up and igniting the page as I go (that Drive-in and Library scene??? Oh man, that was FIRE). Against her best judgment, she is fallen for Masen, and she thinks he may be falling for her too, but something is holding him back from letting them together. It is the secret he's been holding out on, as it would only destroy her.
This book is extremely well-written, and although there's a lot of smut involved (and very good smut at that), I really enjoyed the emotional connection between Ryen and Masen/Misha. I also felt a lot of sympathy for the struggle each of them are going through. The book focuses a lot on Ryen and her own insecurities, her feelings of being alone, but toward the end, we got a lot of Misha too, the mystery of him unravelling little by little. What IS Misha doing in the school if not for Ryen??? What did he steal from the principal's office when he snuck in the school one night??? I know it had a lot to do with him losing his sister, which he talks about quite frequently in the story, but by the end, EVERYTHING tied together so well and came full circle. Once Misha's secret was revealed, everything made sense that didn't before, and we see a disillusioned, broken boy in search of "his tribe" the way Ryen was searching for hers. The finale during the prom was perfect, and I loved how when Ryen decided to drop her mask, her real friend who had been there all along came forward, and they hall worked together to bring down the school bully. One of my other favorite moments is when Misha shows Ryen all his tattoos when she accused him of not caring or thinking about her, showing her that she was in the music the whole time (this was the most beautiful romantic moment I've read--well, ever).This was a story I wish I had written or I wish existed when I was younger, as these themes still speak to me today. Yeah, I know there's a lot cursing, abusive behavior, and many times both Misha and Ryen act despicably and can be unlikeable, but I'm the kind of reader who always wants to ask "why?" and dig until the end. Not that I think people can't have their own opinions, as I know this is why some people DNF'd the book and gave it a low rating, but I really do think they should've stuck with the book to the very end. I promise it's worth it.
Seriously though, spice, passion, mystery, and an emotional thrill ride, this book HAD IT ALL. I hadn't wanted to read this due to have already read quite a few secret message/pen pal lovers by now, and most were great, others "eh, it's okay" but lacking, but THIS is probably the very best one I've read in that genre.
To be fair, the book takes places AFTER Misha and Ryen have been writing to each other for seven years, and although we do get a few glimpses of some past letters, they are not actively writing each other at this point and know each other, even though their identities are secret. In addition, Misha has stopped writing Ryen for a good three months, which in and of itself becomes a mystery to her among many other things. What happened? Misha was her life-line, her best friend and confidant, even though she has never met him in person. The two are twin flames, and she has fallen for him mentally and emotionally. But maybe the same can't be said for her? Either way, she doesn't know, and the angst of not having him in her life becomes too much so she feels she has no one to talk to, no one to relate to, something I feel I myself can relate with. But with Ryen, that angst had turned her into something else. A lie. Something she hates. She ends up creating this persona that isn't her, a personality that she thinks will make everyone like her, even if it is only just superficially. Nevertheless, the pain eats at her, and she acts out in ways, no one would ever imagine.
Enter then, Masen, who we know from the get-go is actually Misha. He shows up to her school one day, on a covert mission (of which I had to sit there and guess until nearly the very end, and when that ending happened...WHOA). He's had one encounter with Ryen in the past, of which Ryen wasn't aware of, but seeing her in person in school, in her own surroundings, he feels anger and disappointment. The deep, thoughtful, insightful, intelligent girl he had fallen in love with in the letters was actually everything he hates, superficial, shallow, a "mean girl". He feels cheated and duped, and can't help but act out in anger against her when they do collide. But...something about her, even when she's acting in ways that makes him cringe, is wrong. There's more to Ryen than what he sees on the surface, and he's set to finding out what that could be.
All this takes place while the school has a vandal on the loose, writing strange, esoteric messages on the walls and in other places for the student body to see in the morning from the night before. Ryen has a strong feeling Masen, the mysterious, yet forbidden boy that she's grown to hate due to his animosity towards her, may have a hand in it all. As much as she can't stand him, and he her, these two can't stay away from one another, and course, sparks fly, heating up and igniting the page as I go (that Drive-in and Library scene??? Oh man, that was FIRE). Against her best judgment, she is fallen for Masen, and she thinks he may be falling for her too, but something is holding him back from letting them together. It is the secret he's been holding out on, as it would only destroy her.
This book is extremely well-written, and although there's a lot of smut involved (and very good smut at that), I really enjoyed the emotional connection between Ryen and Masen/Misha. I also felt a lot of sympathy for the struggle each of them are going through. The book focuses a lot on Ryen and her own insecurities, her feelings of being alone, but toward the end, we got a lot of Misha too, the mystery of him unravelling little by little. What IS Misha doing in the school if not for Ryen??? What did he steal from the principal's office when he snuck in the school one night??? I know it had a lot to do with him losing his sister, which he talks about quite frequently in the story, but by the end, EVERYTHING tied together so well and came full circle. Once Misha's secret was revealed, everything made sense that didn't before, and we see a disillusioned, broken boy in search of "his tribe" the way Ryen was searching for hers. The finale during the prom was perfect, and I loved how when Ryen decided to drop her mask, her real friend who had been there all along came forward, and they hall worked together to bring down the school bully. One of my other favorite moments is when Misha shows Ryen all his tattoos when she accused him of not caring or thinking about her, showing her that she was in the music the whole time (this was the most beautiful romantic moment I've read--well, ever).This was a story I wish I had written or I wish existed when I was younger, as these themes still speak to me today. Yeah, I know there's a lot cursing, abusive behavior, and many times both Misha and Ryen act despicably and can be unlikeable, but I'm the kind of reader who always wants to ask "why?" and dig until the end. Not that I think people can't have their own opinions, as I know this is why some people DNF'd the book and gave it a low rating, but I really do think they should've stuck with the book to the very end. I promise it's worth it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Sexism, Bullying, Cursing, Abandonment, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, and Toxic friendship
sbordo's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying and Sexual content
Minor: Pregnancy, Death, Alcohol, Body shaming, Violence, Toxic friendship, Cursing, Child death, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Infidelity, Homophobia, and Blood
mouwuol's review against another edition
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? N/A
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
1.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Sexual assault, Gaslighting, Sexual violence, Violence, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, Cursing, Classism, Child death, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Toxic friendship, Hate crime, Grief, Drug abuse, Misogyny, Emotional abuse, Eating disorder, Addiction, Blood, Alcohol, Bullying, Sexism, and Death
jasfieldx's review against another edition
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Punk 57… what can I say, this book has been on my TBR for at least 2 years and after mixed reviews and putting it off I finally bit the bullet and jumped in.
This book takes you on all sorts of twists and turns that really aren’t expected! There is a lot of suspense and tension built up within this book and a lot of wtaf moments that, tbh I’m not entirely sure were very relevant to the story line and the book may have flowed slightly better without so many paths that the characters went down
The spice in this book was good, it wasn’t too cringe and didn’t happen on every single page so when if did happen, it was creating a moment between Ryen and Misha that made their relationship feel special and created depth between them.
3 stars because it’s a good, fast paced book with a good storyline, likeable FMC but the book has some flaws like the MMC romanticises fairly toxic behaviours from the start that don’t really improve until the end of the book, the bullying across the board just isn’t really needed and the ending is just a bit flat but, I’d still recommend this book because I did enjoy reading it and will be reading more from Penelope Douglas soon
This book takes you on all sorts of twists and turns that really aren’t expected! There is a lot of suspense and tension built up within this book and a lot of wtaf moments that, tbh I’m not entirely sure were very relevant to the story line and the book may have flowed slightly better without so many paths that the characters went down
The spice in this book was good, it wasn’t too cringe and didn’t happen on every single page so when if did happen, it was creating a moment between Ryen and Misha that made their relationship feel special and created depth between them.
3 stars because it’s a good, fast paced book with a good storyline, likeable FMC but the book has some flaws like the MMC romanticises fairly toxic behaviours from the start that don’t really improve until the end of the book, the bullying across the board just isn’t really needed and the ending is just a bit flat but, I’d still recommend this book because I did enjoy reading it and will be reading more from Penelope Douglas soon
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Toxic relationship, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Death, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, and Cursing
charliebites's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
mysterious
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Toxic friendship, Bullying, and Abandonment
Moderate: Child death, Death, and Grief
Minor: Addiction, Body horror, Infidelity, Drug abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Drug use, and Blood
lancy's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
The book was good loved the character development but most sense made me tense up a bit or were to uncomfortable scene that made me realize how much I hated men but overall it was a Good book donnot recommend for kids under the age of 13 -15 ...yeath the scenes are too graphic
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Adult/minor relationship, Eating disorder, Drug abuse, Stalking, Blood, Body shaming, Animal death, Hate crime, Medical trauma, Sexual harassment, Rape, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Self harm, Sexual assault, Car accident, Cursing, Death, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual violence, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Addiction, Alcohol, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Slavery, and Suicidal thoughts
fashion37's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Cursing, Toxic friendship, and Death
essie__reads's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
⚠️⚠️⚠️THIS REVIEW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS⚠️⚠️⚠️
Minor critique - I hate the way she spelled both "Masen" and "Ryen."
Review:
When I started reading this, I couldn't put it down. Buttttt the more I thought about it, the less I liked it. For starters, I really wish these characters were college-aged and not in high school, but more on that later. 🥴 I could suspend reality for some of the plot lines, like the kid sleeping at an abandoned theme park and the constant vandalism at the school. But some of the plot just doesn't make sense. Like him getting a fake identity to come to a school 30 minutes down the road from where he lives...? 🙄 (Would his biological mom really not google his name and recognize him at all?!) The way she started vandalizing the school because her pen pal stopped writing her? Lmao...what? The fact that she was at an event to promote a local band at the beginning of the book and didn't know who the band was or who the band members were is also unrealistic. 🤦♀️
Misha's dad allowing his son to sleep outside his on a nightly basis and not freaking out and worrying about him also seemed very unrealistic. If Misha really came from such an affluent family, I highly doubt his go-to reaction at the loss of his sister would be to start acting like a homeless person. That was an unnecessary aspect of the book. It seemed like it was added so the cove hide-and-seek scene could play out.
My biggest qualm is the sex scenes. They're well written but extremely unrealistic for how inexperienced teenagers would talk and engage in sex. These sex scenes are written as if these are very experienced, older characters, and not horny teens. I also really wish they were older because it's cringey to go from sex scenes to petty high school events/drama and this is borderline a YA novel in my opinion, and I prefer not to read open door sex scenes about teenagers- ew! Also, Ryen, having the hots for "Masen" after knowing he broke into her house, seems unrealistic, too. That's borderline stalker behavior. The way the men talk to and about women is also unrealistic for teenagers and extremely misogynistic. The girls calling each other sluts and the way Ryen doesn't stand up for her friend Layla when she's being slut-shamed at school is not okay either. I know Ryen wasn't a genuine friend to Layla but still, that didn't make me, as a reader, like Ryen any more. I think Ten is the only likable and somewhat realistic character in this whole cast. She didn't hear from her pen pal for 3 months and despite being pen pals for several years and knowing his full name and address, she never once googled him?! Unbelievable 🫠
A student having a key to the high school and that not being investigated after weeks of consistent vandalism taking place? Also there were secutity gaurds at the school the night that Misha and Ryen fucked in the library. Where were those gaurds the night of the prom???
Okay not gonna lie I did NOT expect the principal to be Misha's mom, though. Penelope got me on that one lol. But Misha yelling at the principal for abandoning him and Annie and blaming her for Annie's death? That's ridiculous! Also the way this author writes about addiction is not the greatest. It seems like she uses it as a plot device, and the bit about Manny was so minor and felt unnecessary to the storyline. Douglas also doesn't include any content warnings or helpline info for readers who may be experiencing addiction issues, that seems like a basic courtesy that should be included at the beginning of the book when writing about the topic of addiction.
In a 10 month period he went on a short tour and recorded and released an album? His first album, that quickly? 🙄
Overall, I feel like Douglas couldn't decide how she wanted to write these characters, and due to that, they don't feel well fleshed out to me. I think this book could have been edited more, too. Hopefully, her writing has evolved as she has continued her career because she has a ton of potential. It just felt like too many ideas were thrown in. It wasn't edited well, and the character's identities/personalities were a bit all over the place. I'd definitely read more books by her, but I am not sure I would recommend this one.
Not her pregnant in the epilogue, too - bleh!
Minor critique - I hate the way she spelled both "Masen" and "Ryen."
Review:
When I started reading this, I couldn't put it down. Buttttt the more I thought about it, the less I liked it. For starters, I really wish these characters were college-aged and not in high school, but more on that later. 🥴 I could suspend reality for some of the plot lines, like the kid sleeping at an abandoned theme park and the constant vandalism at the school. But some of the plot just doesn't make sense. Like him getting a fake identity to come to a school 30 minutes down the road from where he lives...? 🙄 (Would his biological mom really not google his name and recognize him at all?!) The way she started vandalizing the school because her pen pal stopped writing her? Lmao...what? The fact that she was at an event to promote a local band at the beginning of the book and didn't know who the band was or who the band members were is also unrealistic. 🤦♀️
Misha's dad allowing his son to sleep outside his on a nightly basis and not freaking out and worrying about him also seemed very unrealistic. If Misha really came from such an affluent family, I highly doubt his go-to reaction at the loss of his sister would be to start acting like a homeless person. That was an unnecessary aspect of the book. It seemed like it was added so the cove hide-and-seek scene could play out.
My biggest qualm is the sex scenes. They're well written but extremely unrealistic for how inexperienced teenagers would talk and engage in sex. These sex scenes are written as if these are very experienced, older characters, and not horny teens. I also really wish they were older because it's cringey to go from sex scenes to petty high school events/drama and this is borderline a YA novel in my opinion, and I prefer not to read open door sex scenes about teenagers- ew! Also, Ryen, having the hots for "Masen" after knowing he broke into her house, seems unrealistic, too. That's borderline stalker behavior. The way the men talk to and about women is also unrealistic for teenagers and extremely misogynistic. The girls calling each other sluts and the way Ryen doesn't stand up for her friend Layla when she's being slut-shamed at school is not okay either. I know Ryen wasn't a genuine friend to Layla but still, that didn't make me, as a reader, like Ryen any more. I think Ten is the only likable and somewhat realistic character in this whole cast. She didn't hear from her pen pal for 3 months and despite being pen pals for several years and knowing his full name and address, she never once googled him?! Unbelievable 🫠
A student having a key to the high school and that not being investigated after weeks of consistent vandalism taking place? Also there were secutity gaurds at the school the night that Misha and Ryen fucked in the library. Where were those gaurds the night of the prom???
Okay not gonna lie I did NOT expect the principal to be Misha's mom, though. Penelope got me on that one lol. But Misha yelling at the principal for abandoning him and Annie and blaming her for Annie's death? That's ridiculous! Also the way this author writes about addiction is not the greatest. It seems like she uses it as a plot device, and the bit about Manny was so minor and felt unnecessary to the storyline. Douglas also doesn't include any content warnings or helpline info for readers who may be experiencing addiction issues, that seems like a basic courtesy that should be included at the beginning of the book when writing about the topic of addiction.
In a 10 month period he went on a short tour and recorded and released an album? His first album, that quickly? 🙄
Overall, I feel like Douglas couldn't decide how she wanted to write these characters, and due to that, they don't feel well fleshed out to me. I think this book could have been edited more, too. Hopefully, her writing has evolved as she has continued her career because she has a ton of potential. It just felt like too many ideas were thrown in. It wasn't edited well, and the character's identities/personalities were a bit all over the place. I'd definitely read more books by her, but I am not sure I would recommend this one.
Not her pregnant in the epilogue, too - bleh!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Grief, and Sexual content
Moderate: Sexism, Violence, Panic attacks/disorders, Addiction, Alcohol, Misogyny, Abandonment, Sexual harassment, Homophobia, Infidelity, Toxic friendship, and Self harm
Minor: Alcohol, Stalking, and Pregnancy
laurakwiecinski's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Toxic friendship, Death, Mental illness, Child death, Abandonment, and Violence
Minor: Pregnancy
maria_schnecki's review against another edition
2.5
why? Not gonna lie, it kept me entertained but I also kinda feel icky about that, so yeah.
I liked the premise - pen pals that are not sure their friendship would survive the switch from just communicating by letters to meeting in person. There was potential there. I also liked the idea of having a not super likeable mc that has a great personality development. However, that was just not it.
Why all the bullying? Why? I get it, insecurities are tough and lead to ugly behaviour in some people, but... that does not excuse what this story is portraying. Also, our male mcgoing the psycho route when finding out that said penpal is not a "nerdy loser" but a popular mean girl? Sorry, but whilst I might get being angry about being deceived for years (kinda), there is just no going back from that. The way Misha is overly possesive, brutal, mean and aggresive? Not something you can just have a good talk and be back to normal. But the author knows at least that, so what is the next best thing? Crime and very awkward hate-sex. Idk man but thats just not it. Also, albeit the not-so-great smut scenes, I did not hate this book by this point (mind you I also didn't enjoy it), but the ending??? What is going on? It would have been fine if Misha and Ryen had their happy ending, I get that, romance genre and all. But to have the audacity to assume the victim of years of bullying through the hands of Ryen (yes, standing by is, at the age of 18, something that you have to accept responsibility for) just joins their friend group for some fun times? Yeah no, you did the poor guy so dirty. At least leave him out of there. Most people deserve their happy ending, but not at the cost of other peoples well-being. Yikes
so yeah, yikes. Do not read if you get upset by bullying, aggressive behaviour, fighting ( both physical and verbal), sexual harassment and yeah like lots of bullying
I liked the premise - pen pals that are not sure their friendship would survive the switch from just communicating by letters to meeting in person. There was potential there. I also liked the idea of having a not super likeable mc that has a great personality development. However, that was just not it.
Why all the bullying? Why? I get it, insecurities are tough and lead to ugly behaviour in some people, but... that does not excuse what this story is portraying. Also, our male mc
so yeah, yikes. Do not read if you get upset by bullying, aggressive behaviour, fighting ( both physical and verbal), sexual harassment and yeah like lots of bullying
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Bullying, Death of parent, Homophobia, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Misogyny, Grief, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual assault, Toxic friendship, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Toxic relationship, and Violence