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emilyharmonica's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Racism, Infidelity, Alcohol, Excrement, Death of parent, Terminal illness, Emotional abuse, Vomit, Cancer, Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Medical trauma, Medical content, Grief, Drug use, and Abortion
theladyjess's review against another edition
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent and Cancer
Moderate: Infidelity and Racism
Minor: Drug use
_annika__'s review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.75
Overall this is a good book, the writing is good, her story is emotional, evocative, and entirely relatable for anyone who has experienced familial grief and terminal illness.
The issue I have with this book is personal, but perhaps relatable to anyone from a small town - I almost had to put the book down because I couldn’t stand the author continuously calling Eugene, Oregon (second biggest city in the state, a major PAC12 college town, an hour away from Portland) small, boring, and dull. Almost every single person I’ve met that’s lived in a <10,000 person town (and bigger, honestly) would KILL to be in Eugene. If the author would have said “I hated growing up in Eugene” I could’ve moved on, but she seemed to hate it specifically because it’s “small” and because there was “nothing to do.”
Every kid that’s suffered growing up in a 3,000 person town in the middle of a corn field somewhere in the Midwest - where 99.99% of the population is white and so strictly religious they unironically call Halloween “the devil’s holiday” and avoid you like the plague if you don’t go to their same church (imagine if you don’t go to church at all, and they repeatedly egg your house for it) - would have likely cut off a finger or two to grow up in Eugene or anywhere near it. I’m hoping the author bemoaned her adolescence in such a “small town” for dramatic effect and that she didn’t actually feel that strongly about it.
I understand teenage angst and depression and would have been more understanding if that was the main reason for feeling the way she did growing up, since most teens experience those feelings and at least at the time, likely no matter where you live, we feel like we don’t belong and we hate it there. But the amount of those feelings that she blamed specifically on the “small dull Pacific Northwest town” she lived in personally made my eye twitch. Growing up in a larger, modern, and progressive college town (often rated one of the most progressive cities in the entire U.S.) would be a privilege to sooo many.
Since the reader knows she’s writing this post-adolescence I was waiting for her to correct how she felt about this small town with “nothing to do” (aside from going to record stores, go vintage clothes shopping, get specialty Korean ingredients from a local market, and see Modest Mouse - just to name a few). Again, I acknowledge this as a personal issue taken with the book, but I assume most people that grew up in rural or small towns would struggle and also feel that a large part of the author’s adolescence and story is unreachable and I relatable because of this as well.
The issue I have with this book is personal, but perhaps relatable to anyone from a small town - I almost had to put the book down because I couldn’t stand the author continuously calling Eugene, Oregon (second biggest city in the state, a major PAC12 college town, an hour away from Portland) small, boring, and dull. Almost every single person I’ve met that’s lived in a <10,000 person town (and bigger, honestly) would KILL to be in Eugene. If the author would have said “I hated growing up in Eugene” I could’ve moved on, but she seemed to hate it specifically because it’s “small” and because there was “nothing to do.”
Every kid that’s suffered growing up in a 3,000 person town in the middle of a corn field somewhere in the Midwest - where 99.99% of the population is white and so strictly religious they unironically call Halloween “the devil’s holiday” and avoid you like the plague if you don’t go to their same church (imagine if you don’t go to church at all, and they repeatedly egg your house for it) - would have likely cut off a finger or two to grow up in Eugene or anywhere near it. I’m hoping the author bemoaned her adolescence in such a “small town” for dramatic effect and that she didn’t actually feel that strongly about it.
I understand teenage angst and depression and would have been more understanding if that was the main reason for feeling the way she did growing up, since most teens experience those feelings and at least at the time, likely no matter where you live, we feel like we don’t belong and we hate it there. But the amount of those feelings that she blamed specifically on the “small dull Pacific Northwest town” she lived in personally made my eye twitch. Growing up in a larger, modern, and progressive college town (often rated one of the most progressive cities in the entire U.S.) would be a privilege to sooo many.
Since the reader knows she’s writing this post-adolescence I was waiting for her to correct how she felt about this small town with “nothing to do” (aside from going to record stores, go vintage clothes shopping, get specialty Korean ingredients from a local market, and see Modest Mouse - just to name a few). Again, I acknowledge this as a personal issue taken with the book, but I assume most people that grew up in rural or small towns would struggle and also feel that a large part of the author’s adolescence and story is unreachable and I relatable because of this as well.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death of parent, Grief, Medical content, Terminal illness, Car accident, Death, and Chronic illness
Moderate: Drug use, Emotional abuse, Bullying, Alcohol, Body shaming, Panic attacks/disorders, Infidelity, Abortion, Addiction, and Alcoholism
daniofthewood's review against another edition
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Grief, Death, Terminal illness, and Cancer
Moderate: Alcoholism, Car accident, Drug use, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Infidelity, Injury/Injury detail, and Medical content
Minor: Abortion, Addiction, Body shaming, and Racism
annareads97's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
4.5
I was looking forward to reading this book for quite some time, and while it was not entirely what I expected, I very much enjoyed it. Michelle beautifully describes her complex relationship with her mother, with her Korean heritage, with grief, with love, and all of it is intricately woven into her relationship with the Asian comfort foods she grew up eating. I would call this a must read for anyone who grew up feeling caught between two identities, who is grieving the loss of a parent with whom they had a complicated relationship, or who simply wants to learn more about Asian American culture.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Death, Cancer, Grief, Medical content, Medical trauma, and Terminal illness
Minor: Emotional abuse, Drug use, Car accident, and Alcoholism
kaylaswhitmore's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
I may just be biased, since I am also a Korean-American woman who grew up in Eugene, Oregon…but this memoir is certainly a gift to all who read it, and especially children of Asian immigrants. Words can’t quite describe the bizarre, surreal experience I had reading Michelle’s recollections. In between reeling emotionally from the similarities between her mother and my own, I would find myself blinking as familiar staples of my Eugene hometown popped up on every other page. Though my childhood and relationship to my mother is still quite different from Michelle’s, there were still so many things that struck me as familiar—like a funhouse mirror. Her use of emotion to paint such vivid pictures of the intangible truly drew me in and held me from the very first chapter. Someday, when the ache of her loss and the fear of losing my own mother fades, I will return to this book and reread it anew. For now, I’ll sit here in silence for a bit and cry lol.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Fatphobia, Grief, Terminal illness, Chronic illness, Death, Death of parent, Drug use, Medical trauma, Medical content, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Cursing, Car accident, Infidelity, and Body shaming
Minor: Vomit
cturn's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Alcohol, Cancer, Car accident, Medical content, Grief, Mental illness, and Death of parent
Moderate: Car accident, Drug use, Addiction, Racism, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Vomit
murve's review
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Medical content, Chronic illness, Terminal illness, Medical trauma, and Drug use
toastyghosty13's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.0
I went into this book having heard that it was about the experiences (both good and bad) of an American woman of half Korean half White descent. I expected this to be more about the racial injustices thrown her way or how she had to deal with finding her identity and sense of belonging while navigating being "too white to be korean, or too korean to be white". Although I would have been interested in reading the former, I was very surprised at what this book fully encompassed. This book is a love letter to a very strict parent that wanted the best for their child, even if their relationship was destroyed while raising them.
The only mistake I made in opening this book was to choose to read it while visiting my parents during Thanksgiving break; it made me even more sentimental and concerned for their health and well being. While I do not condone some of the rhetoric between Michelle and her mother, Michelle loved her mother and this book made me be more aware of the love I constantly have for my parents no matter what.
Michelle's relationship with her mother was tumultuous while growing up.They were constantly getting into fights about school, and how she wished her mother was more "motherly"; an example of which she compared to how her mother once yelled at her for climbing a tree and then falling off, then berating her because she scraped herself in the process. Eventually, their relationship was torn apart around the time of Michelle being in high school, where she nearly failed out of school and had admitted to wanting to write music instead of attending college. Her mother let her live on her own to try out the "starving artist" lifestyle while barely out of high school. They even got into a physical fight, where her mother told her she got an abortion so she wouldn't have another child because Michelle was so rotten. Michelle eventually got into a college on the other side of the country, Bryn Mawr, and moved to the east coast. This gave them the breathing room they desperately needed.
Michelle eventually found out that her mother had found cancerous (or similar enough to cancerous) tumors in her stomach. This changed the dynamic of their relationship immediately. The majority of this book revolves around the love she feels for her mother, and how she did everything she could to help take care of her and make the last years of her life happy and filled with joy and experiences before her death. They went on trips to Korea, cooked together, watched k-dramas and tv shows pirated from the local asian grocery mart. Michelle did the best that she could to give her mother as happy of an ending as possible.
This book is a love letter to her mother, but also a critical analysis of her father.She acknowledges that her father could have done so much more for her and her mother. He had a rough upbringing due to his fathers active combat PTSD, and had a history of addiction. He also cheated on his wife long before she grew sick, with Michelle discovering on their original family computer ads and correspondences for escorts for hire. Her father had a problem with driving under the influence consistently, and even totaled his car at the end of the book. He unfairly put a lot of his emotional weight onto Michelle with her mothers passing, when they should have been leaning on each other equally.
Between all of this, Michelle does recount her experiences of trying to find a place of belonging, although not as majorly as the content on her parents. She discusses feeling like an outside in different communities because she is too far from the norm for any of them, "too korean or too white". It was heartbreaking to read about how she was very alone in a lot of this until her adult years where she forged meaningful relationships with bandmates and her significant other, Peter. It made me so so happy that Peter was as supportive as he was. He hung in there through all of Michelle taking care of her mother, and their life choices like school and jobs plunging them into long distance. I did long distance with my now fiance for years, it was incredibly difficult but worth it in the end. It seems to have worked out for Michelle and Peter as well, since they got married right before her mothers death so that she could attend the wedding.
The ending of this book had a nice turn around where Michelle talks about her success in later years. Her music has granted her some limelight, and she even starts touring internationally. This book comes to a close following her tour and how the last show is in Korea near some relatives. She is able to go there and it almost feels as if she has some closure, being able to live her dreams creating music and spending time with those she loves.
This book is beautifully written. It will make you ugly cry and put you in a horrible mood the entire time but it is completely worth it. It reminds you of how the relationships with the ones you love most, whether they are blood family or found, are the most important thing even through some of the hardships (obviously not all hardships).
The only mistake I made in opening this book was to choose to read it while visiting my parents during Thanksgiving break; it made me even more sentimental and concerned for their health and well being. While I do not condone some of the rhetoric between Michelle and her mother, Michelle loved her mother and this book made me be more aware of the love I constantly have for my parents no matter what.
Michelle's relationship with her mother was tumultuous while growing up.
Michelle eventually found out that her mother had
This book is a love letter to her mother, but also a critical analysis of her father.
Between all of this, Michelle does recount her experiences of trying to find a place of belonging, although not as majorly as the content on her parents. She discusses feeling like an outside in different communities because she is too far from the norm for any of them, "too korean or too white". It was heartbreaking to read about how she was very alone in a lot of this until her adult years where she forged meaningful relationships with bandmates and her significant other, Peter. It made me so so happy that Peter was as supportive as he was. He hung in there through all of Michelle taking care of her mother, and their life choices like school and jobs plunging them into long distance. I did long distance with my now fiance for years, it was incredibly difficult but worth it in the end. It seems to have worked out for Michelle and Peter as well, since they got married right before her mothers death so that she could attend the wedding.
The ending of this book had a nice turn around where Michelle talks about her success in later years. Her music has granted her some limelight, and she even starts touring internationally. This book comes to a close following her tour and how the last show is in Korea near some relatives. She is able to go there and it almost feels as if she has some closure, being able to live her dreams creating music and spending time with those she loves.
This book is beautifully written. It will make you ugly cry and put you in a horrible mood the entire time but it is completely worth it. It reminds you of how the relationships with the ones you love most, whether they are blood family or found, are the most important thing even through some of the hardships (obviously not all hardships).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Cancer, Death, and Medical content
Moderate: Drug abuse, Car accident, Racism, Xenophobia, Toxic relationship, Drug use, and Infidelity
Minor: Abortion, Vomit, and Excrement
crabber's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
This was such a crazy experience, I’ve heard good things about it here and there and since I loved Zauner and her music discography, I decided to pick it up. I didn’t pick it up for months until I decided to bring it for reading material on the plane and I really did just devour this in the span of 4 days.
Zauner’s descriptions for her family and food are so vivid it really does make you feel at home with all the memories you’ve experienced. There’s so many things that tickled a part of my brain where I know something similar has happened in my life being an Asian immigrant in Canada.
Crying in H Mart is a perfect celebration of life and family and I loved so many bits of it even if some of it is as mundane as reminiscing the many times when someone cooks you a meal you will never forget and trying to make it years down the line. This book does a lot for me and if you’re a fan of biographical books and or Zauner in general, I’d highly recommend this book. It pairs well with Psychopomp and Soft Sounds from Another Planet.
Zauner’s descriptions for her family and food are so vivid it really does make you feel at home with all the memories you’ve experienced. There’s so many things that tickled a part of my brain where I know something similar has happened in my life being an Asian immigrant in Canada.
Crying in H Mart is a perfect celebration of life and family and I loved so many bits of it even if some of it is as mundane as reminiscing the many times when someone cooks you a meal you will never forget and trying to make it years down the line. This book does a lot for me and if you’re a fan of biographical books and or Zauner in general, I’d highly recommend this book. It pairs well with Psychopomp and Soft Sounds from Another Planet.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer
Minor: Injury/Injury detail, Drug abuse, Medical content, Addiction, Car accident, and Drug use