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4.46 AVERAGE
4.46 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
reflective
sad
A necessary and beautifully written story of far too many Indian families. I can clearly see how much courage went into this book and I admire the author’s vulnerability and willingness to not care about kya log kahenge. A little bit repetitive at times.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
this was an intense memoir, that was really well researched. it’s so interesting how gupta uses her family and upbringing as a kind of sociological case study on how expectations for asian american families/people from (white) america, impact their own self esteem and relationship dynamics.
i cried at least 4 times at this, i genuinely don’t know how one even writes a memoir like this and comes out the other side still hopeful. and that’s just it, gupta doesn’t come off as bitter at all, even when talking about very personal incidents that she had no hand in making happen, but still having to deal with the consequences of. I also really enjoyed the fact that Gupta is aware of her place as an Indian-American person, and how that impacted her connection to her native culture, (which is something I can definitely attest to as a first generation Jamaican-American person). She’s very objective about the events that occur, while also presenting her own perspective objectively which was a really interesting thing to hear when listening to the audiobook. Completely floored.
“Yush said that Papa had a “wartime personality.” Yush thought this was a good thing to have, particularly when leading a battle, as someone who needed to make tough decisions for the betterment of the group. I agreed with Yush in theory, but I was also confused. “There’s no war,” I said to Yush. “What battle is Papa fighting?” The problem with that kind of a personality, I said, was that when everything was peaceful, one had to create wars to feel useful or important.”
“Immigration likely molded Papa and his two younger siblings in different ways, by some unknowable interplay between their natural disposition, the age at which they emigrated, and how a new country wary of brown foreigners perceived each of them. The kids spoke English but struggled to understand the rushed cadence of a Canadian accent. They faced a harsh choice: assimilate completely, stripping as many Indian cultural markers as possible to avoid mockery by their white classmates, or hang on to native culture and identity at their own peril.”
i cried at least 4 times at this, i genuinely don’t know how one even writes a memoir like this and comes out the other side still hopeful. and that’s just it, gupta doesn’t come off as bitter at all, even when talking about very personal incidents that she had no hand in making happen, but still having to deal with the consequences of. I also really enjoyed the fact that Gupta is aware of her place as an Indian-American person, and how that impacted her connection to her native culture, (which is something I can definitely attest to as a first generation Jamaican-American person). She’s very objective about the events that occur, while also presenting her own perspective objectively which was a really interesting thing to hear when listening to the audiobook. Completely floored.
“Yush said that Papa had a “wartime personality.” Yush thought this was a good thing to have, particularly when leading a battle, as someone who needed to make tough decisions for the betterment of the group. I agreed with Yush in theory, but I was also confused. “There’s no war,” I said to Yush. “What battle is Papa fighting?” The problem with that kind of a personality, I said, was that when everything was peaceful, one had to create wars to feel useful or important.”
“Immigration likely molded Papa and his two younger siblings in different ways, by some unknowable interplay between their natural disposition, the age at which they emigrated, and how a new country wary of brown foreigners perceived each of them. The kids spoke English but struggled to understand the rushed cadence of a Canadian accent. They faced a harsh choice: assimilate completely, stripping as many Indian cultural markers as possible to avoid mockery by their white classmates, or hang on to native culture and identity at their own peril.”
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
fast-paced
challenging
emotional
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
fast-paced
This book had so many themes that were so relatable, especially with the South Asian immigrant experience, complicated family dynamics, inter generational trauma, and colonialism. The author was so poetic with how she described events and connected it to larger themes. Mental health struggles and the expectation to look perfect can be so detrimental in such a constricting family and social situation.
I will say this book covers a lot of heavy themes so will give anyone wanting to read the book a heads up. I hope the author is healing and is doing well on her journey to reconnecting with herself.
A line found towards the end of the book that really stuck with me, “Now I feel grateful for that rejection, because rejection forced me to learn to find value in myself, value that I had jockeyed to receive from others. I learned that the limits of others acceptance are not a symptom of my failings.”
I will say this book covers a lot of heavy themes so will give anyone wanting to read the book a heads up. I hope the author is healing and is doing well on her journey to reconnecting with herself.
A line found towards the end of the book that really stuck with me, “Now I feel grateful for that rejection, because rejection forced me to learn to find value in myself, value that I had jockeyed to receive from others. I learned that the limits of others acceptance are not a symptom of my failings.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racism, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Colonisation
Moderate: Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Minor: Vomit
emotional
sad
medium-paced
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
A sad and thoughtful and heartbreaking book about how the model minority myth destroys a family and individual usuals. Super sad, but also hopeful for the author.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse
emotional
reflective
medium-paced