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3.4 AVERAGE
3.4 AVERAGE
Find my full review here: https://bound2books.co/2020/02/20/a-review-of-the-dead-wifes-handbook-moving-through-grief-with-the-aid-of-fiction/
I bought this book in the first few months after arriving in Switzerland at the giant English bookshop, that used to be located on the Bahnhofstrasse in Zurich. I was so intrigued by the idea of a dead person narrating a book. The dead couldn’t talk. I tried to read the first chapter of the book several times and each time I would cry, at times, almost uncontrollably. At the time, I had just recently lost my father and the longing and pain that Hannah Beckerman’s novel brought up was too much for me to handle.
Flash-forward to 2020, where I am no master of my grief, however, I will say that my grief and I have become more acquainted. We are like reluctant housemates that fight over the T.V. remote arguing over if we watch re-runs of my father’s death or the cooking channel.
I write this review with the recent pain of losing another dear human to cancer. My heart breaks for a life lost, and I cannot help but think of her family and the pain they are going through. I know the pain they are experiencing because it lives in my head without paying rent and breaks my heart all over again.
When Rachel dies suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition, her family’s life is turned upside-down. Although this is the usual grief narrative you read. Beckerman’s novel is narrated by Rachel, the dead wife, and she grieves alongside her unknowing family.
Rachel watches from afar as her family and friends struggle to put themselves back together. The layers and different types of grief create a patchwork of guilt, sorrow, anger, heartbreak, and acceptance. Rachel is never able to reach out to her family, it isn’t a Casper the friendly ghost situation in this novel. Rather, the reader watches two sides unable to speak to each other, struggle with what it means to love, to have lost, and to have let go.
The concept of the stages of grief as most people know today was not actually designed for the living. Instead, they were written for patients with terminal illnesses who were struggling to let go of their earthly body and world. The stages of grief were never actually meant for the living because a dead person will eventually stop grieving (or at least we assume so) when they die. Yet, grief for those left behind is a manifestation of love for the person that is gone. A love, that can never go away, which means neither can the grief.
Beckerman uses the stages of grief in its intended way, through Rachel – the already deceased. Rachel struggles with seeing her husband become a single parent, her mother become childless, and her daughter become motherless. She struggles with anger, jealousy, and rage as Max, her widowed husband, moves on with another woman, Eve.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve or mourn the loss of life and the things that will never be. Grief will come out as anger, lethargy, sleeplessness, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, nostalgia, pain, jealousy, love, and melancholia… Not to mention everything in between.
The Dead Wife’s Handbook is not easy to read. I found myself tearing up and I often needed time away from the book because of how moving it was. Yet I am glad that I was able to sit with my grief and in those moments understand and explore grief through fiction.
If you have grief in your heart, I ask you to be kind to yourself. Lord knows I could take my own advice on that more often.
Hannah Beckerman has outdone herself with this book. What fiction have you read that helped you with your grief? As always, share the reading love.
I bought this book in the first few months after arriving in Switzerland at the giant English bookshop, that used to be located on the Bahnhofstrasse in Zurich. I was so intrigued by the idea of a dead person narrating a book. The dead couldn’t talk. I tried to read the first chapter of the book several times and each time I would cry, at times, almost uncontrollably. At the time, I had just recently lost my father and the longing and pain that Hannah Beckerman’s novel brought up was too much for me to handle.
Flash-forward to 2020, where I am no master of my grief, however, I will say that my grief and I have become more acquainted. We are like reluctant housemates that fight over the T.V. remote arguing over if we watch re-runs of my father’s death or the cooking channel.
I write this review with the recent pain of losing another dear human to cancer. My heart breaks for a life lost, and I cannot help but think of her family and the pain they are going through. I know the pain they are experiencing because it lives in my head without paying rent and breaks my heart all over again.
When Rachel dies suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition, her family’s life is turned upside-down. Although this is the usual grief narrative you read. Beckerman’s novel is narrated by Rachel, the dead wife, and she grieves alongside her unknowing family.
Rachel watches from afar as her family and friends struggle to put themselves back together. The layers and different types of grief create a patchwork of guilt, sorrow, anger, heartbreak, and acceptance. Rachel is never able to reach out to her family, it isn’t a Casper the friendly ghost situation in this novel. Rather, the reader watches two sides unable to speak to each other, struggle with what it means to love, to have lost, and to have let go.
The concept of the stages of grief as most people know today was not actually designed for the living. Instead, they were written for patients with terminal illnesses who were struggling to let go of their earthly body and world. The stages of grief were never actually meant for the living because a dead person will eventually stop grieving (or at least we assume so) when they die. Yet, grief for those left behind is a manifestation of love for the person that is gone. A love, that can never go away, which means neither can the grief.
Beckerman uses the stages of grief in its intended way, through Rachel – the already deceased. Rachel struggles with seeing her husband become a single parent, her mother become childless, and her daughter become motherless. She struggles with anger, jealousy, and rage as Max, her widowed husband, moves on with another woman, Eve.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve or mourn the loss of life and the things that will never be. Grief will come out as anger, lethargy, sleeplessness, fear, anxiety, hopelessness, nostalgia, pain, jealousy, love, and melancholia… Not to mention everything in between.
The Dead Wife’s Handbook is not easy to read. I found myself tearing up and I often needed time away from the book because of how moving it was. Yet I am glad that I was able to sit with my grief and in those moments understand and explore grief through fiction.
If you have grief in your heart, I ask you to be kind to yourself. Lord knows I could take my own advice on that more often.
Hannah Beckerman has outdone herself with this book. What fiction have you read that helped you with your grief? As always, share the reading love.
This is the story of the sudden, untimely demise of Rachel from a fatal cardiac arrhythmia, the journey through grief that Rachel and her family must take. This is a unique story with an interesting concept of a beyond the grave "netherworld" from where Rachel is granted "access" to view the family and friends she left behind, and see how they cope with her death and ultimately move on with their lives. Nicely based on the seven stages of grief identified by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross - shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, acceptance - not only from the perspective of Rachel's family but also, interestingly, from Rachel's perspective as well. It's message is a potentially profound one, but, for me, it fell disappointingly flat. I keenly felt Rachel's abject loneliness being trapped alone in the "whiteness" of the netherworld, and her helplessness bearing witness to new relationships and life she so desperately still wants to be part of, moving on without her; and I liked the overall message of the book - of love being our greatest legacy, but everything in between felt devoid of real feeling and the characters (with the exception of Rachel) lacked any credible or believable substance. It was all a bit too "chick lit" for me - not my cup of tea I'm sorry to say.
This book is full of "perfect" characters who always say and do the right thing. The dialogue is completely unrealistic, especially for a 7/8 year old. Not to mention all of the characters had the exact same voice.
I'm hovering between 3 & 4 stars here but have decided to be generous. A fairly slow start but I settled into the type of writing after a while. An interesting concept about whether our loved ones can watch over us when we have left this world. I have read reviews where the reviewer mentions sobbing all the way through. This definitely didn't affect me that way - there were the odd moments where I thought a point was fairly sad but I must be more heartless than I think.
The Dead Wife's Handbook and I just did not get along, and I couldn't finish it - in fact, I didn't even make it halfway. I liked the concept, expecting something similar in feel to The Lovely Bones, which although also told from the point of a dead person, doesn't feel depressing. Unfortunately, whether because of the writing, my mood at the time, the fact that Rachel leaves behind a young family or the fact I'm a bit older and more understanding of death as a concept, I just couldn't get on with The Dead Wife's Handbook. I picked it up multiple times, and every time I struggled to make any headway, because it was too heart-breaking. I'm sure that if I could have made it further into the book I might have ended up enjoying it, but I just wasn't enjoying reading about Rachel watching her husband pushed towards dating. I ultimately found myself putting off reading because the story made me uncomfortable.
I obviously just wasn't in the right frame of mind when I tried this, and it's one to come back to and give another try.
I obviously just wasn't in the right frame of mind when I tried this, and it's one to come back to and give another try.
www.iheart-chicklit.blogspot.com
I was so thrilled to be offered a review copy of Hannah Beckerman’s debut novel, The Dead Wife’s Handbook, which sounds like an amazing read, judging from the blurb. It’s a completely different side of women’s fiction I was excited to explore and it really did open my eyes to what the more emotional, darker side (not in a bad way!) of chick lit had to offer!
The Dead Wife’s Handbook follows the story of Rachel, who dies unexpectedly, leaving behind her beloved husband and the apple of her eye, Ellie, her daughter. As she watches from above, she witnesses her loved ones coping with grief, afraid of moving on, while she painfully undergoes the seven stages of grief. Well, because her death and sudden departure is just the beginning of her problems..
Before reading the entire book, I thought it would be about a deceased heroine, struggling with life after death. But I was so wrong. I was completely thrown when I realised that there’s so much more when it comes to Rachel’s side of her story. Her story doesn’t end after her death. No, Hannah Beckerman tells it through poignant, yet nostalgic vignettes that will allow us readers to glimpse into Rachel’s life as a wife, mother and friend, pre-arrhythmia, through a series of flashbacks and reminiscences.
Right from the start, I could really “connect” with Rachel. As a reader to character, if that makes any sense. There were parts in the novel, which were written so achingly painful, my heart went out to her, and some parts made me clench my fists, defensive and protective of Rachel’s feelings. All I’m saying is that the characters in the book are incredibly “real”, written with such precise touch.
The Dead Wife’s Handbook is filled with emotion, raw and real, which will no doubt be the tearjerker of the year, if you ask me. Hannah Beckerman, a supposed debut novelist has made her mark in women’s fiction with such a beautifully written novel which will no doubt tug your heartstrings. I adored this book so much because it’s such a treasure to read. Hannah Beckerman’s writing flows smoothly through the pages and if you read aloud, it’s even poetic (I might have read a few chapters.. aloud!), with elegant and lyrical prose.
All in all, The Dead Wife’s Handbook is truly remarkable and unforgettable. An emotional roller coaster which will linger in the little memory box in your head, provoking you to think of the “what ifs”. An exceptional debut novel, if you ask me. I think I’ve run out of superlatives to describe the book. My parting words: Go get it!
I was so thrilled to be offered a review copy of Hannah Beckerman’s debut novel, The Dead Wife’s Handbook, which sounds like an amazing read, judging from the blurb. It’s a completely different side of women’s fiction I was excited to explore and it really did open my eyes to what the more emotional, darker side (not in a bad way!) of chick lit had to offer!
The Dead Wife’s Handbook follows the story of Rachel, who dies unexpectedly, leaving behind her beloved husband and the apple of her eye, Ellie, her daughter. As she watches from above, she witnesses her loved ones coping with grief, afraid of moving on, while she painfully undergoes the seven stages of grief. Well, because her death and sudden departure is just the beginning of her problems..
Before reading the entire book, I thought it would be about a deceased heroine, struggling with life after death. But I was so wrong. I was completely thrown when I realised that there’s so much more when it comes to Rachel’s side of her story. Her story doesn’t end after her death. No, Hannah Beckerman tells it through poignant, yet nostalgic vignettes that will allow us readers to glimpse into Rachel’s life as a wife, mother and friend, pre-arrhythmia, through a series of flashbacks and reminiscences.
Right from the start, I could really “connect” with Rachel. As a reader to character, if that makes any sense. There were parts in the novel, which were written so achingly painful, my heart went out to her, and some parts made me clench my fists, defensive and protective of Rachel’s feelings. All I’m saying is that the characters in the book are incredibly “real”, written with such precise touch.
The Dead Wife’s Handbook is filled with emotion, raw and real, which will no doubt be the tearjerker of the year, if you ask me. Hannah Beckerman, a supposed debut novelist has made her mark in women’s fiction with such a beautifully written novel which will no doubt tug your heartstrings. I adored this book so much because it’s such a treasure to read. Hannah Beckerman’s writing flows smoothly through the pages and if you read aloud, it’s even poetic (I might have read a few chapters.. aloud!), with elegant and lyrical prose.
All in all, The Dead Wife’s Handbook is truly remarkable and unforgettable. An emotional roller coaster which will linger in the little memory box in your head, provoking you to think of the “what ifs”. An exceptional debut novel, if you ask me. I think I’ve run out of superlatives to describe the book. My parting words: Go get it!
Yeah... I'm not sure about this one. I don't even know how I ended up with it on my Kindle. I try and stay away from fantasy/magical realism/dead people talking - which this book was. So in a sense it had a strike against it from the beginning. However, it is such a quick read it is easy to block out the dead woman. It reminded me of an adult version of The Lovely Bones (minus the crime part). It wasn't horrible, it wasn't amazing, I don't think I would recommend it to anyone unless they are nonreaders who need a novel to take to beach.
Rachel is a loving mom, and wonderful wife, an accomplished career woman. And she is dead.On the first anniversary of her death, she gets a peek at her still-grieving family, and then gets momentary views of her family as they cope with their grief and retake their lives.