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3.93 AVERAGE
3.93 AVERAGE
و بدأت تفكرين في أمك كطفلة و امرأة شابة و عروس جديدة و أم أنجبتك لتوها
Fiction in translation is usually like forced sexual orientation -- the story goes through the motions but you can't possibly appreciate what's most beautiful with such a huge degree of separation from true passion. Every few years I decide my refusal to read translated fiction is selling me short and every time I make an exception (most recently with the dull My Brilliant Friend) I give up on the book half way because it fails to capture me. I savor books written in English by and about characters in other cultures, but translation can't help but shortchange a book, somehow selling out the subtleties found to the original language along with any sense of the author. Please Look After Mom is a brilliant exception.
The book as a whole examines the nature of care taking, mostly mother-to-child but also wife-to-husband, among friends (soulmates?), and, finally, by the divine. There's an obnoxiousness to its architecture, with the story told from various family member's perspectives after a matriarch goes missing, yet the chapters still captivate. Each segment shows us the shock and, eventually, resignation So-nyo's family member experiences, replete with backstory. Other reviewers have commented that matriarch So-nyo, is portrayed as almost heroically self-sacrificing but I saw her as an ordinary, hard-working mum. Within each chapter, we're given a glimpse into both what So-nyo did for her loved ones and how (only occasionally, in most cases) they cared for her. Some characters were long plagued with guilt, more than gratitude, for their mother's help and support while others appreciated her belatedly, only after she'd gone.
All of this sounds formulaic, even a hackneyed and archetypically Asian, like a vomitorium of filial piety. It could easily have been, but author Shin's creation and translator Kim's words bypass trope and cut straight to the universal. Whether or not your own parents provided much, in reading this book you feel the narrators' grief acutely. Few books have evoked such intense, spontaneous tears for me at their ending. I'm sure this work is far more affecting in the original Korean, but even in English, it packs a punch.
The book as a whole examines the nature of care taking, mostly mother-to-child but also wife-to-husband, among friends (soulmates?), and, finally, by the divine. There's an obnoxiousness to its architecture, with the story told from various family member's perspectives after a matriarch goes missing, yet the chapters still captivate. Each segment shows us the shock and, eventually, resignation So-nyo's family member experiences, replete with backstory. Other reviewers have commented that matriarch So-nyo, is portrayed as almost heroically self-sacrificing but I saw her as an ordinary, hard-working mum. Within each chapter, we're given a glimpse into both what So-nyo did for her loved ones and how (only occasionally, in most cases) they cared for her. Some characters were long plagued with guilt, more than gratitude, for their mother's help and support while others appreciated her belatedly, only after she'd gone.
All of this sounds formulaic, even a hackneyed and archetypically Asian, like a vomitorium of filial piety. It could easily have been, but author Shin's creation and translator Kim's words bypass trope and cut straight to the universal. Whether or not your own parents provided much, in reading this book you feel the narrators' grief acutely. Few books have evoked such intense, spontaneous tears for me at their ending. I'm sure this work is far more affecting in the original Korean, but even in English, it packs a punch.
A book about the sacrifices of a mother, and her family realising the extent of these sacrifices only after losing her.
Man, I'm sad now. Don't take your mama/wife/auntie/sister(or sister-in-law) for granted folks.
Man, I'm sad now. Don't take your mama/wife/auntie/sister(or sister-in-law) for granted folks.
A poignant story of a family grieving their Mom and wife who is literally and figuratively missing. On a trip to Seoul, the mother gets left at a busy subway station. She is suffering from the effects of strokes.The mother cannot or does not find her way back to her family. It is not clear if she has died or has disappeared to her home village.
The Mom had an inner and actual life, independent from the family. She lived her life for her family and husband, not always appreciated. This is a classic tale of parental loss, the guilt of the offspring, and the realization that mother was more than what her family realized.
The husband is actually most at fault, since he was the adult. Children, in their quest to grow into separate human beings, can be forgiven their lack of appreciation for their mother. However, the husband cannot plead innocence. He had treated his wife poorly and feels expected remorse.
The author evokes the setting superbly. The characters are portrayed masterfully, especially the oldest daughter and son and the mother. To me, this book was reminiscent of Anne Tyler, albeit originally written in Korean by a well known Korean writer.
The Mom had an inner and actual life, independent from the family. She lived her life for her family and husband, not always appreciated. This is a classic tale of parental loss, the guilt of the offspring, and the realization that mother was more than what her family realized.
The husband is actually most at fault, since he was the adult. Children, in their quest to grow into separate human beings, can be forgiven their lack of appreciation for their mother. However, the husband cannot plead innocence. He had treated his wife poorly and feels expected remorse.
The author evokes the setting superbly. The characters are portrayed masterfully, especially the oldest daughter and son and the mother. To me, this book was reminiscent of Anne Tyler, albeit originally written in Korean by a well known Korean writer.
Penulisan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Plot ⭐️⭐️
Karakter ⭐️
Mungkin emg bukan selera, tp ini pertama kalinya timbul rasa gak suka sekedar dari 'ah emg kurang cocok kayanya'. Gimana ya... kerasa moralistik bgt, bukunya jg kurasa bisa diperpendek karna isinya gak terlalu penting, kyk diulang ulang aja, patternnya sama, tiap orang yg gak sadar sm keberadaan ibu atau kenal ibunya sebatas dari identitasnya sbg Ibu.
Karakteristik keluarganya dr p.o.v per babnya gak kerasa kayak orang beneran yg punya ibu/suami, cuma kyk alat buat nunjukkin betapa kasihannya si Ibu, maksudku, anak anaknya udh pada tua dan sukses pula, apa mereka gak punya kecerdasan emosional samsek buat ngajak ngobrol ibunya atau sekadar lebih aware sm kesehatan ibunya?? aku kira umur mereka msh pada dua puluhan mentok tiga puluh awal, tp ternyata 40-50an thn? gak kerasa kyk orang dewasa mateng, semuanya satu dimensi dan stereotip, semua karakter dibuat seolah olah dibuat biar pas sama kepingan karakter si Ibu, bukan karakter mereka sendiri.
Aku jg bingung sm ibunya, stlh anak anaknya gede knpa dia ttp ngelakuin rutinitas ribat padet gitu, mungkin ada hubungannya sm cara dia dibesarkan jg, waktu di desa dulu emg masih tradisional bgt, gak bisa klo gak nikah, dia cukup sadar buat ngasih pendidikan ke anak2 perempuannya biar gak hidup kyk dia, tp setelah anak2nya sukses dia jd ngerasa kyk ga punya tujuan.. aku kurang suka aja plot redundant begini, nyiptain jalan cerita berdasarkan kebobrokan moral is fine, tp masalahnya gak ada tindakan solutif atau tujuan keluar atau ide spesifik yg mau disampaikan, cuma mengenang ngenang apa yg udh lewat sambil berkata betapa kasihannya si ibu, cuma bilang how bad is it buat perempuan dulu tanpa mencoba mengubah atau mengkritik jalan hidup seperti itu, ujung ujungnya ni cerita gak jalan kemana mana, kek gaada poinnya.
Karakter karakter signifikan yg berpengaruh ke Ibu yg bukan keluarganya justru sedikit disorot dan gak dapet kesimpulan apa apa, kyk ipar lakinya atau temen lelakinya yg hidup dipantai, pdhl bisa lebih dieksplor dari mereka knpa si Ibu bisa terbentuk seperti sekarang, tp gak dilanjutin ampe akhir dan cuma diceritain bbrp halaman aja.
Pas akhir akhir pun di epilog aku sering skimming monolognya chi hon, gak ada yg baru buat di perhatiin, same old penyesalan thd ibu, kurang kenal ibu, gak nemenin ibu dll. Buat penat bacanya, ini ditulis perempuan Korsel tp ide idenya tradisionalis bgt... kayanya gak minat baca dr author ini lagi, overall bad writing, unpleasant experience, bintang satunya aku kasih untuk gaya penulisannya yg msh oke.
Plot ⭐️⭐️
Karakter ⭐️
Mungkin emg bukan selera, tp ini pertama kalinya timbul rasa gak suka sekedar dari 'ah emg kurang cocok kayanya'. Gimana ya... kerasa moralistik bgt, bukunya jg kurasa bisa diperpendek karna isinya gak terlalu penting, kyk diulang ulang aja, patternnya sama, tiap orang yg gak sadar sm keberadaan ibu atau kenal ibunya sebatas dari identitasnya sbg Ibu.
Karakteristik keluarganya dr p.o.v per babnya gak kerasa kayak orang beneran yg punya ibu/suami, cuma kyk alat buat nunjukkin betapa kasihannya si Ibu, maksudku, anak anaknya udh pada tua dan sukses pula, apa mereka gak punya kecerdasan emosional samsek buat ngajak ngobrol ibunya atau sekadar lebih aware sm kesehatan ibunya?? aku kira umur mereka msh pada dua puluhan mentok tiga puluh awal, tp ternyata 40-50an thn? gak kerasa kyk orang dewasa mateng, semuanya satu dimensi dan stereotip, semua karakter dibuat seolah olah dibuat biar pas sama kepingan karakter si Ibu, bukan karakter mereka sendiri.
Aku jg bingung sm ibunya, stlh anak anaknya gede knpa dia ttp ngelakuin rutinitas ribat padet gitu, mungkin ada hubungannya sm cara dia dibesarkan jg, waktu di desa dulu emg masih tradisional bgt, gak bisa klo gak nikah, dia cukup sadar buat ngasih pendidikan ke anak2 perempuannya biar gak hidup kyk dia, tp setelah anak2nya sukses dia jd ngerasa kyk ga punya tujuan.. aku kurang suka aja plot redundant begini, nyiptain jalan cerita berdasarkan kebobrokan moral is fine, tp masalahnya gak ada tindakan solutif atau tujuan keluar atau ide spesifik yg mau disampaikan, cuma mengenang ngenang apa yg udh lewat sambil berkata betapa kasihannya si ibu, cuma bilang how bad is it buat perempuan dulu tanpa mencoba mengubah atau mengkritik jalan hidup seperti itu, ujung ujungnya ni cerita gak jalan kemana mana, kek gaada poinnya.
Karakter karakter signifikan yg berpengaruh ke Ibu yg bukan keluarganya justru sedikit disorot dan gak dapet kesimpulan apa apa, kyk ipar lakinya atau temen lelakinya yg hidup dipantai, pdhl bisa lebih dieksplor dari mereka knpa si Ibu bisa terbentuk seperti sekarang, tp gak dilanjutin ampe akhir dan cuma diceritain bbrp halaman aja.
Pas akhir akhir pun di epilog aku sering skimming monolognya chi hon, gak ada yg baru buat di perhatiin, same old penyesalan thd ibu, kurang kenal ibu, gak nemenin ibu dll. Buat penat bacanya, ini ditulis perempuan Korsel tp ide idenya tradisionalis bgt... kayanya gak minat baca dr author ini lagi, overall bad writing, unpleasant experience, bintang satunya aku kasih untuk gaya penulisannya yg msh oke.
4,5/5
The epilogue destroyed me. I started to think about my mom a lot.
The epilogue destroyed me. I started to think about my mom a lot.
Profound and heartbreaking. Please Look After Mom explores identity, sacrifice, and the disregard a family can have towards their mother.
Regret is at the heart of this novel. Only after Park So-nyo is lost in a Seoul subway station does her family realize their mistreatment and neglect. And as their search for her continues, they begin to question both their behavior and how well they knew their mother.
Through word and action, the titular Mom is revealed to be hardworking, nurturing, and earnest. From her springs life. Her biggest fear is being unable to feed her children. But while motherhood became central to her identity, author Shin Kyung-Sook reminds the reader it isn't So-nyo’s entire identity.
It's clear why Please Look After Mom was awarded the 2011 Man Asia Literary Prize. It's a haunting, intense book. Each sentence is intentional. And the second-person narration prompts self-reflection — is the reader looking after their mom? A unique, unforgettable read.
Regret is at the heart of this novel. Only after Park So-nyo is lost in a Seoul subway station does her family realize their mistreatment and neglect. And as their search for her continues, they begin to question both their behavior and how well they knew their mother.
Through word and action, the titular Mom is revealed to be hardworking, nurturing, and earnest. From her springs life. Her biggest fear is being unable to feed her children. But while motherhood became central to her identity, author Shin Kyung-Sook reminds the reader it isn't So-nyo’s entire identity.
It's clear why Please Look After Mom was awarded the 2011 Man Asia Literary Prize. It's a haunting, intense book. Each sentence is intentional. And the second-person narration prompts self-reflection — is the reader looking after their mom? A unique, unforgettable read.
Took just over a year, but it was well worth coming back to.
But then, I enjoy sad stories.
But then, I enjoy sad stories.
"Ihr könnt euch nicht entscheiden, welches Foto von Mama man nehmen sollte. Alle finden, dass es das aktuellste Foto sein muss, aber niemand hat ein aktuelles Foto von ihr. Dir fällt wieder ein, dass Mama irgendwann nicht mehr fotografiert werden wollte. Selbst wenn Aufnahmen von der ganzen Familien gemacht wurden, schlich sie sich davon." - S. 10
Dieser Roman wir unter anderem aus der Sicht einer Tochter der verschwundenen Mutter erzählt. Teilweise nüchtern, teilweise poetisch beschreibt sie die Geschehnisse und greift Erinnerungen auf.
Sie offenbart eine Seite ihrer Mutter, die ihr selber nicht ganz bewusst war und lernt sie so kennen, wie keiner sie kannte. Auch aus der Sicht von anderen Familienangehörigen wird geschrieben, sogar aus der Sicht der Mutter.
Bewegend.
Es gehört zu den Büchern, die mich immer wieder zu Tränen rühren und in wenigen Seiten wird man in eine unbekannte Welt entführt, in die der koreanischen Kultur und Sitten, aber es wird auch ein Familienbild gezeigt und die Rolle der Mutter ist das zentrale Thema.
Man merkt schnell, dass die Rolle ähnlich ist wie bei uns. Mutter ist eben Mutter.
Sprachlich ist das Buch einfach gehalten, aber greift den Leser geschickt ein mit "Du erinnerst dich" - "Du greifst auch..." - "Ihr versammelt euch" und ähnlichen Mitteln.
Man ist sehr schnell in der Geschichte drin und einerseits verläuft alles ruhig, anderseits werden immer mehr Dinge und Geheimnisse aus der Familie aufgedeckt.
Die Autorin wechselt zwischen Erinnerungen, Personen, aber auch in den Zeiten und es baut sich eine geschickte, aber auch traurige Geschichte auf.
"Dir wird klar, dass du immer an sie gedacht hast, wenn in deinem Leben etwas schieflief. Wenn du sie vor dir sahst, kam etwas in dir wieder ins Lot, und dir wuchs neue Kraft zu." - S. 247
Herzzerreißend und wunderschön.
Es ist das Bild einer Mutter, die viel für ihre Kinder aufgegeben hat und sich nie die Entbehrungen und schlechten Geschehnisse ansehen lies,
Wer gerne mitreißende Familiendramen ließt aus einer recht unbekannten Kultur mit einem ungewöhnlichen Schreibstil, der sollte zugreifen. Das Buch wird euch nicht enttäuschen!
Dieser Roman wir unter anderem aus der Sicht einer Tochter der verschwundenen Mutter erzählt. Teilweise nüchtern, teilweise poetisch beschreibt sie die Geschehnisse und greift Erinnerungen auf.
Sie offenbart eine Seite ihrer Mutter, die ihr selber nicht ganz bewusst war und lernt sie so kennen, wie keiner sie kannte. Auch aus der Sicht von anderen Familienangehörigen wird geschrieben, sogar aus der Sicht der Mutter.
Bewegend.
Es gehört zu den Büchern, die mich immer wieder zu Tränen rühren und in wenigen Seiten wird man in eine unbekannte Welt entführt, in die der koreanischen Kultur und Sitten, aber es wird auch ein Familienbild gezeigt und die Rolle der Mutter ist das zentrale Thema.
Man merkt schnell, dass die Rolle ähnlich ist wie bei uns. Mutter ist eben Mutter.
Sprachlich ist das Buch einfach gehalten, aber greift den Leser geschickt ein mit "Du erinnerst dich" - "Du greifst auch..." - "Ihr versammelt euch" und ähnlichen Mitteln.
Man ist sehr schnell in der Geschichte drin und einerseits verläuft alles ruhig, anderseits werden immer mehr Dinge und Geheimnisse aus der Familie aufgedeckt.
Die Autorin wechselt zwischen Erinnerungen, Personen, aber auch in den Zeiten und es baut sich eine geschickte, aber auch traurige Geschichte auf.
"Dir wird klar, dass du immer an sie gedacht hast, wenn in deinem Leben etwas schieflief. Wenn du sie vor dir sahst, kam etwas in dir wieder ins Lot, und dir wuchs neue Kraft zu." - S. 247
Herzzerreißend und wunderschön.
Es ist das Bild einer Mutter, die viel für ihre Kinder aufgegeben hat und sich nie die Entbehrungen und schlechten Geschehnisse ansehen lies,
Wer gerne mitreißende Familiendramen ließt aus einer recht unbekannten Kultur mit einem ungewöhnlichen Schreibstil, der sollte zugreifen. Das Buch wird euch nicht enttäuschen!
This book is a well written, interesting and intelligently structured novel that is exceptionally well translated (from the original Korean). It is a commentary on how life is changing in South Korea in the relative present, as it was written in 2008, and is a cautionary tale for all children to not take your mother for granted and to remember that they too have hopes, dreams, hobbies, and a life outside of being a "mom". That being said, it wasn't the right pick for me. As a child-free-by-choice 40-something, this book illustrates exactly why I didn't want to become a parent. My belief is that if you have children, you give up a huge portion of yourself for them, and you can easily lose yourself in the process. While raising children can be very rewarding, this story is proof that it is extremely easy to become a martyr for your children, sacrificing everything for their happiness and success, including your own identity. Of course, this isn't true for all parents, but I felt it would be true for me if I had children, so reading about two individuals who did just that was not enjoyable. On top of that, the children and especially the husband very much took Mom for granted in this book, and often treated her terribly and as something in the background, not as a loving mother. There were definitely communication issues between all the family members, Mom included, that could have helped their relationships be smoother as well. Overall, this book was too sad and frustrating for me as a reader. My book group overwhelmingly enjoyed it, so I may be an outlier here.
Note: I also posted a review of this book on the Manchester, CT Goodreads account.
Note: I also posted a review of this book on the Manchester, CT Goodreads account.