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3.7 AVERAGE
3.7 AVERAGE
DNF.
This first part of this book was fascinating and I was really into it, but I got bored with the second half and couldn’t get past chapter 21. It felt repetitive and drawn out. While women’s health, chronic illness and the healthcare system for women are certainly worthy topics, this particular story could have been half the length and been fantastic. It was also a little difficult getting past the incredible privilege the writer has to have come from a wealthy family in which she is able to fly all over the country to the best hospitals and treatment centers in order to try to get the help she needs. That is just not the case for most women in America, and I felt like it could have been addressed further.
This first part of this book was fascinating and I was really into it, but I got bored with the second half and couldn’t get past chapter 21. It felt repetitive and drawn out. While women’s health, chronic illness and the healthcare system for women are certainly worthy topics, this particular story could have been half the length and been fantastic. It was also a little difficult getting past the incredible privilege the writer has to have come from a wealthy family in which she is able to fly all over the country to the best hospitals and treatment centers in order to try to get the help she needs. That is just not the case for most women in America, and I felt like it could have been addressed further.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
The Lady's Handbook For Her Mysterious Illness: A Memoir by Sarah Ramey
☀️☀️☀️☀️
With statistics like 75% of all autoimmune patients being female, it's no wonder that I found this book in equal parts fascinating, elucidating, and horrific.
Ramey spends approximately half of the book detailing her harrowing, drawn out experience trying to seek help for her mysterious illness. This takes place over more than a decade through both Western and alternative medicine systems, and the tales she shares within are nothing short of depressing. The lack of care, understanding and support for people with chronic illness is a blight on society.
The second half I found less effective or appropriate: the tangent on gender was interesting and made some good points but ultimately left me feeling a bit icky with the assuredness she assigns certain characteristics to each gender, ignoring the obvious fact that these too are socially applied and not inherently built into us. I was also not impressed by her claim that those outside of Western countries have less troubles due to diet etc, which is patently untrue. She does, to an extent, acknowledge her unbelievable privilege as a white woman with access to money to make her prescribed changes - changes that a significant amount of her readership would struggle to achieve - but I wished she did more here.
Ultimately though, for all of my criticisms, I think this is a very important book tackling very important issues that should be read, at least in part, by a wider readership than simply women who might have a mysterious illness. I identified multiple people in my life who live under this category and also myself suffer some mild issues within this realm, so it was beneficial to see this sort of information all laid out like this.
☀️☀️☀️☀️
With statistics like 75% of all autoimmune patients being female, it's no wonder that I found this book in equal parts fascinating, elucidating, and horrific.
Ramey spends approximately half of the book detailing her harrowing, drawn out experience trying to seek help for her mysterious illness. This takes place over more than a decade through both Western and alternative medicine systems, and the tales she shares within are nothing short of depressing. The lack of care, understanding and support for people with chronic illness is a blight on society.
The second half I found less effective or appropriate: the tangent on gender was interesting and made some good points but ultimately left me feeling a bit icky with the assuredness she assigns certain characteristics to each gender, ignoring the obvious fact that these too are socially applied and not inherently built into us. I was also not impressed by her claim that those outside of Western countries have less troubles due to diet etc, which is patently untrue. She does, to an extent, acknowledge her unbelievable privilege as a white woman with access to money to make her prescribed changes - changes that a significant amount of her readership would struggle to achieve - but I wished she did more here.
Ultimately though, for all of my criticisms, I think this is a very important book tackling very important issues that should be read, at least in part, by a wider readership than simply women who might have a mysterious illness. I identified multiple people in my life who live under this category and also myself suffer some mild issues within this realm, so it was beneficial to see this sort of information all laid out like this.
"There may exist a graceful and elegant way to begin one's gynecologic and colorectal memoir, but it never does spring to mind."
Sarah Ramey has written the book I have always needed, the book I thought I would have to write, and a book I never thought could quite exist.
For me, this book is groundbreaking. Sarah Ramey is what Jane Austen was for women, for WOMIs- that is, women with mysterious illnesses. And there are so, so many of us. I don’t agree with all of the content of Ramey and Austen’s work, but it is so important that it exists.
I have always lamented that there was no “How to” guide for chronically ill people. There was no guide to when to start trying to have kids for the fertility challenged, no instructions on how to deal with work when you feel like death, no protocol showing families and friends to act in a decent way to their disabled counterparts. While this isn’t that, it made me feel much less alone, and definitely tackled one of my challenges - how to feel better when your doctors have given up on you. It’s one part of the puzzle piece that is so desperately needed.
Ramey gives you the information in a detailed but easy to understand way, and allows you to make decisions for yourself. She acknowledges that some people cannot do what she does due to limitations. Personally, I want to try her approach if it is at all possible for me, but I know that if I find that it just isn’t going to work, I won’t feel like I have failed. I’ll be thankful to have more knowledge and therefore more power.
Doctors and nurses in the past have said to me, “Stop eating beef!”, “You should try cutting out milk, it works wonders” and other diet tips that I felt compelled to ignore given that they were blaming my entire illnesses on me eating a bolognese with grated cheese twice a month. Ramey does a deep dive into how nutrition affects us and inflammation in a very informed, scientific way, that made me understand so much more about the biome. And she doesn’t even trash people who can’t afford organic blueberries.
Some flaws - I would have liked to have seen sources and the inclusion of people outside of gender norms. I’m also sceptical of the part about these illnesses not being as prevalent in developing countries. But, this is published as a memoir, not a scientific resource, and I will judge it as such. Other people have essentially called out Ramey’s privilege as a flaw, but she is in no way saying “If I did it, anyone can!” This is simply a recollection of her life with illness so far and some advice she can give, with acknowledgments that not everyone has the resources that she does.
Go in with an open mind, learn what you can and stick with it. This is not a book telling you that yoga and better food will cure you. This is a book that you need, that your doctor should have read in university. I only hope that brain fog won’t stop me from remembering the most useful parts.
Thank you, Sarah, for writing the book I could never write.
For me, this book is groundbreaking. Sarah Ramey is what Jane Austen was for women, for WOMIs- that is, women with mysterious illnesses. And there are so, so many of us. I don’t agree with all of the content of Ramey and Austen’s work, but it is so important that it exists.
I have always lamented that there was no “How to” guide for chronically ill people. There was no guide to when to start trying to have kids for the fertility challenged, no instructions on how to deal with work when you feel like death, no protocol showing families and friends to act in a decent way to their disabled counterparts. While this isn’t that, it made me feel much less alone, and definitely tackled one of my challenges - how to feel better when your doctors have given up on you. It’s one part of the puzzle piece that is so desperately needed.
Ramey gives you the information in a detailed but easy to understand way, and allows you to make decisions for yourself. She acknowledges that some people cannot do what she does due to limitations. Personally, I want to try her approach if it is at all possible for me, but I know that if I find that it just isn’t going to work, I won’t feel like I have failed. I’ll be thankful to have more knowledge and therefore more power.
Doctors and nurses in the past have said to me, “Stop eating beef!”, “You should try cutting out milk, it works wonders” and other diet tips that I felt compelled to ignore given that they were blaming my entire illnesses on me eating a bolognese with grated cheese twice a month. Ramey does a deep dive into how nutrition affects us and inflammation in a very informed, scientific way, that made me understand so much more about the biome. And she doesn’t even trash people who can’t afford organic blueberries.
Some flaws - I would have liked to have seen sources and the inclusion of people outside of gender norms. I’m also sceptical of the part about these illnesses not being as prevalent in developing countries. But, this is published as a memoir, not a scientific resource, and I will judge it as such. Other people have essentially called out Ramey’s privilege as a flaw, but she is in no way saying “If I did it, anyone can!” This is simply a recollection of her life with illness so far and some advice she can give, with acknowledgments that not everyone has the resources that she does.
Go in with an open mind, learn what you can and stick with it. This is not a book telling you that yoga and better food will cure you. This is a book that you need, that your doctor should have read in university. I only hope that brain fog won’t stop me from remembering the most useful parts.
Thank you, Sarah, for writing the book I could never write.
Long tangents, pseudo science, poor research and borderline transphobia
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content, Medical trauma
I wouldn’t say that this book was a revolutionary find (at least not after 10+ years of struggling with chronic mystery illness) BUT it was indeed very therapeutic. It felt like a very long tea time conversation with an old friend. I felt angry at times and deeply bereaved at times, but at the end of the book, I’m feeling hopeful.
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Much of the first half of this book found me nodding and agreeing, at times vocally, with the author. As a long COVID patient, many of Sarah's WOMI struggles echo my own (though, delightfully, long COVID has no diagnostic criteria and no treatment currently, so...yeah). She does an excellent job speaking to the experiences of what it means to have a mysterious illness, how the medical community treats you, etc. This book helped me feel seen and accurately described many of the experiences so many of us have with friends, family, and medical providers, and for that I am rating it quite highly. If you are someone with a chronic or mysterious illness, or know someone who is, or are a medical professional, please read this.
That said:
The second half, and especially the final third, of the book were not as strong to me. Ramey shares a lot of details about functional medicine and changes that worked for her. She also makes an argument that we need to focus on the heroine's journey. I didn't find this as alienating as some other reviewers did (I do find that ongoing illness makes you dig deeper into yourself, reevaluate priorities etc.). But since she does not cite sources during many of her arguments for certain treatments or practices, there were parts that felt pseudoscience-ey to me or I found myself very skeptical of (particularly once you veer into the land of recommending specific diets, like Paleo, to address certain issues).
I think Ramey is right to share what's worked for her, after so much trial and error, but if you're saying studies support your argument, please cite these studies so that those of us who are considering similar changes can review them for ourselves.
Overall, the emotional and narrative piece of this resonated TREMENDOUSLY for me, but the prescriptive portions felt that they needed a more nuanced editing approach. I take them with a grain of salt but still feel very appreciative to have stumbled across this book!
That said:
The second half, and especially the final third, of the book were not as strong to me. Ramey shares a lot of details about functional medicine and changes that worked for her. She also makes an argument that we need to focus on the heroine's journey. I didn't find this as alienating as some other reviewers did (I do find that ongoing illness makes you dig deeper into yourself, reevaluate priorities etc.). But since she does not cite sources during many of her arguments for certain treatments or practices, there were parts that felt pseudoscience-ey to me or I found myself very skeptical of (particularly once you veer into the land of recommending specific diets, like Paleo, to address certain issues).
I think Ramey is right to share what's worked for her, after so much trial and error, but if you're saying studies support your argument, please cite these studies so that those of us who are considering similar changes can review them for ourselves.
Overall, the emotional and narrative piece of this resonated TREMENDOUSLY for me, but the prescriptive portions felt that they needed a more nuanced editing approach. I take them with a grain of salt but still feel very appreciative to have stumbled across this book!
This book gave me a much better understanding of the hell people with chronic illness go through in our medical system today. I feel like I better understand my patients and some of my friends. I even more fully recognize how important it is to deeply listen to what my patients are saying and believe them. However over 400 pages of severe chronic illness is not a fun read.