Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
I don’t really know how to express how important this book was for me. If you or anyone you know is struggling with a chronic illness and not receiving the quality of care you deserve, please read this book! Not for a quick fix or miracle cure, but so you don’t feel alone and to add some much needed hope to your life.
This book really helped me see the connectedness of the issues that I and so many others I know experience. The experience she describes, of discounting this type of illness. I’ve seen over and over, with friends I have who are lefty radical doctors, I’ve done it myself. There were issues with the book. They’ve been expounded upon in other reviews. I mostly agree with those. But on the whole I thought her points were interesting and forgave any misses when it came to the hard science. It’s a memoir even if it did slip into nonfiction at times. Could she have talked more about the non consensual history of gynecology on black women? Yes. Could she have recognized her privilege more? Sure. But I did think it even more exemplary of how messed up our system is if she, with all the doctors and access in the world still had what really sounds like a harrowing experience. Does it help to say, others had it worse? She makes the point that others do and i would argue it reinforces the argument(s) she’s making.
There is one qualm that I noticed people brought up in their reviews that I want to maybe respectfully make a counterpoint. At some point she talks about how characteristics that are associated with the feminine are not valued. That this devaluing leads to consequences in our medical system that in turn discounts and straight up denies the experiences of women. Regardless of whether you agree with the essentialism of this, I think it’s worth considering that whether is nurture or nature, there is a feminine characteristics aren’t valued. I’m open to being proven wrong but at the time I was reading it, it didn’t feel like she was discounting my experience as a gender queer person. If anything, she encouraged me to examine the ways in which I value the more masculine parts of my identity and shun or shove aside the feminine parts. I do this with my spouse, in my judgement of my friends and others at large.
But I think her point is, we as a people have treated feminism one way, and that largely ignores other intelligences other characteristic values that people hold that in fact do serve us as a society and should be recognized as such.
I had my pet peaves and critique, but I’ll never think of these issues the same and that is helpful.
There is one qualm that I noticed people brought up in their reviews that I want to maybe respectfully make a counterpoint. At some point she talks about how characteristics that are associated with the feminine are not valued. That this devaluing leads to consequences in our medical system that in turn discounts and straight up denies the experiences of women. Regardless of whether you agree with the essentialism of this, I think it’s worth considering that whether is nurture or nature, there is a feminine characteristics aren’t valued. I’m open to being proven wrong but at the time I was reading it, it didn’t feel like she was discounting my experience as a gender queer person. If anything, she encouraged me to examine the ways in which I value the more masculine parts of my identity and shun or shove aside the feminine parts. I do this with my spouse, in my judgement of my friends and others at large.
But I think her point is, we as a people have treated feminism one way, and that largely ignores other intelligences other characteristic values that people hold that in fact do serve us as a society and should be recognized as such.
I had my pet peaves and critique, but I’ll never think of these issues the same and that is helpful.
challenging
emotional
informative
medium-paced
The theme of this book is TMI. In two respects. 1) Some of the descriptions are so very graphic and personal. And graphic. And so so personal. It’s not for the squeamish. 2) There is so much data. Too much, really.
I wish everyone could hear the salient messages contained in this book. There really is important, life-saving (or at least -improving) information here. Sadly, it is buried in an avalanche of less necessary stuff.
Hearing this poor woman’s health journey reminded me of my experience reading louis zamperini’s “unbroken” - i kept checking the cover to make sure the author was still alive. How does anyone endure so much pain and abuse in under 40 years?
Anyway, if there is ever a sparknotes version, I can’t recommend it enough. In its full published form, i have to limit my recommendation to people who have suffered a mysterious illness of their own, who perhaps were not listened to regarding their pain and illness.
I wish everyone could hear the salient messages contained in this book. There really is important, life-saving (or at least -improving) information here. Sadly, it is buried in an avalanche of less necessary stuff.
Hearing this poor woman’s health journey reminded me of my experience reading louis zamperini’s “unbroken” - i kept checking the cover to make sure the author was still alive. How does anyone endure so much pain and abuse in under 40 years?
Anyway, if there is ever a sparknotes version, I can’t recommend it enough. In its full published form, i have to limit my recommendation to people who have suffered a mysterious illness of their own, who perhaps were not listened to regarding their pain and illness.
De eerste helft van het boek las als een trein. Het deel erna vond ik te langdradig/ gedetailleerd. Naar het einde toe werd het wel terug beter. Alhoewel de maatschappijkritiek ook wel korter mocht voor mij.
Buiten twee delen waar ik persoonlijk minder aan had, en voor mij een pak minder uitgebreid mochten zijn, vind ik het een supergoed boek.
Iedereen die chronisch ziek is, of wat 'rare kwaaltjes' heeft zal veel (h)erkenning beleven. De zoektocht en het doorzettingsvermogen van de auteur zijn bewonderenswaardig.
Hopelijk is dit het begin van meer boeken in dit genre, en een aanzet tot verandering in de vermannelijkte maatschappij en gezondheidsindustrie.
Buiten twee delen waar ik persoonlijk minder aan had, en voor mij een pak minder uitgebreid mochten zijn, vind ik het een supergoed boek.
Iedereen die chronisch ziek is, of wat 'rare kwaaltjes' heeft zal veel (h)erkenning beleven. De zoektocht en het doorzettingsvermogen van de auteur zijn bewonderenswaardig.
Hopelijk is dit het begin van meer boeken in dit genre, en een aanzet tot verandering in de vermannelijkte maatschappij en gezondheidsindustrie.
Heavily medical, unfortunately really relatable even though we have different illnesses
challenging
emotional
tense
slow-paced
This book is an extremely heartfelt and personal memoir, and you can tell.
Unfortunately, it is also severely under-edited. It could have easily been 150 pages shorter. By page 250 I’m thinking “what new things could you possibly have to say?” And there’s a couple, but not many.
Here’s my overall thoughts about this book other than that:
Sarah Ramey has obviously been a victim of severe medical abuse and has experienced severe medical trauma. My heart goes out to her. And to all the other people who have experienced the same, usually because they are women or are perceived by a medical system to be women. Her experience with medical abuse, trauma, and neglect is unfortunately a huge, widespread problem with medicine. I find myself infuriated on her behalf but unfortunately believing it (I mean, as I should! But what I mean is that I keep thinking, ‘yeah, that would happen to someone.)
She addresses the problems with modern medicine where it fails to see patients as a whole person and instead sees them as collections or subsets of symptoms, and then when those don’t fit exactly with something people (often women or those seen as women) get dismissed with “well, it’s all in your head anyway.” Problems affecting women are severely underfunded and underresearched, as Ramey points out — ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, anything that has to do with uteruses or vaginas. She addresses that we really really underestimate the effect of stress, chronic stress and little-t traumas, into our physical health. And she is right that mind is body and body is mind, and that this is often not addressed in medicine.
I have problems with Sarah Ramey stating theories (orchid children and HSP especially; as well as leaky gut stuff) as facts. I have problems with the gender essentialism she devolves into. I have problems with the sort of lumping of genetic disorders in with disorders caused by other factors.
I also think that her privilege as someone white and wealthy is VERY clear at times and she doesn’t even address it much. When that is a huge, huge factor in her even being able to access alternative medicines, or expensive treatments.
And oh my god why are there so many Harry Potter references. Like, I get it, but they get so annoying.
Overall, yes, a worthwhile read. But it can get tedious what with the underediting and all, and just keep a critical ear out. I don’t mean cynicism, I mean critical thinking and self research. What works for her may not work for you.
Unfortunately, it is also severely under-edited. It could have easily been 150 pages shorter. By page 250 I’m thinking “what new things could you possibly have to say?” And there’s a couple, but not many.
Here’s my overall thoughts about this book other than that:
Sarah Ramey has obviously been a victim of severe medical abuse and has experienced severe medical trauma. My heart goes out to her. And to all the other people who have experienced the same, usually because they are women or are perceived by a medical system to be women. Her experience with medical abuse, trauma, and neglect is unfortunately a huge, widespread problem with medicine. I find myself infuriated on her behalf but unfortunately believing it (I mean, as I should! But what I mean is that I keep thinking, ‘yeah, that would happen to someone.)
She addresses the problems with modern medicine where it fails to see patients as a whole person and instead sees them as collections or subsets of symptoms, and then when those don’t fit exactly with something people (often women or those seen as women) get dismissed with “well, it’s all in your head anyway.” Problems affecting women are severely underfunded and underresearched, as Ramey points out — ME/CFS, fibromyalgia, anything that has to do with uteruses or vaginas. She addresses that we really really underestimate the effect of stress, chronic stress and little-t traumas, into our physical health. And she is right that mind is body and body is mind, and that this is often not addressed in medicine.
I have problems with Sarah Ramey stating theories (orchid children and HSP especially; as well as leaky gut stuff) as facts. I have problems with the gender essentialism she devolves into. I have problems with the sort of lumping of genetic disorders in with disorders caused by other factors.
I also think that her privilege as someone white and wealthy is VERY clear at times and she doesn’t even address it much. When that is a huge, huge factor in her even being able to access alternative medicines, or expensive treatments.
And oh my god why are there so many Harry Potter references. Like, I get it, but they get so annoying.
Overall, yes, a worthwhile read. But it can get tedious what with the underediting and all, and just keep a critical ear out. I don’t mean cynicism, I mean critical thinking and self research. What works for her may not work for you.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Medical content, Medical trauma, Injury/Injury detail
The memoir sections were alright, but once Ramey gets into the social/political/science arenas, she is at best tone deaf, at worst offensive. Lots of white lady privilege going on.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical trauma
Moderate: Ableism, Transphobia
challenging
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
The top review for this book claims that she doesn’t take into consideration people who don’t have the means she has and how they face these issues every day. If that discourages you, listen to @momadvice’s discussion with her on Patreon - they both discuss this at length. I feel like it is first of all, important for you to know she does know this is true.
https://www.patreon.com/posts/66506317
I think this book is important for so many women who feel like Sarah did throughout her journey (with financial means or not), who are unheard, and not only unheard but treated cruelly. What is interesting about her story is that she comes from a family of physicians, both parents and a grandmother. Throughout her medical journey, she tries everything - top medical facilities to alternative therapies.
I felt like a bunch of this could have been edited and condensed, with maybe a summary of what was tried and what worked, what didn’t - because there is a lot. A lot that goes wrong and doesn’t help. So it’s a lot to read, but I think she makes some helpful points along the way.
What she wants readers to know, especially women, is they are not alone:
“… I could not deny: it was getting much worse.
And in the most mysterious ways.
I was on so many medications and getting so sick so fast, it was like a rabbit hole had opened up beneath me—that I was falling slowly past the clocks and the candlesticks, and that my parents and doctors were peering over the edge, quietly watching me float down and away.
~
The entire point of The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness is this:
It would have been helpful to know what a well-trafficked rabbit hole that was.
~
The unfortunate but innocuous series of medical events. The gallons of antibiotics and fistfuls of painkillers. The severe digestive issues, gynecologic issues, joint pain, itching, and fatigue. The referrals, the specialists, the puzzlement.” Chapter 1
If you have known people who have these medical conditions and feel exhausted and alone, this is the book that shows them they are not.
“Now my health was a trickster, a shapeshifter, a shroud, a mist.” Chapter 3
This describes a little of the extent she tried, and how she felt:
“And if conventional medicine has no answers, or is making it worse, or is permanently demeaning and dismissive, it is human to try to find help wherever she can get it—no matter how extreme, no matter how woo. This is what sends people to ashrams, and cryogenic freezing tubes, and ayahuasca shamans in the Amazon rain forest. This is what drives people to set up in-home colonic machines, and become zealous about crazy diets, and too-passionate about kale. That is how you get your rectum hooked up to an ozone machine at a stranger’s house in the suburbs of Los Angeles. While these sorts of things are easy to pooh-pooh as a doctor, or a rational skeptic, or anyone on the outside—if you are the patient, the perspective is radically different. How do you say no to a cure? How do you resist the promise of feeling better, even if it sounds a little eccentric?” Ch 11
So then, after you see how many things don’t work, as she hits the bottom, she tells how she got through it. The mental work she did to live with so much pain.
“Somewhere early on, we had all started referring to this decade of my life as the Healing Journey.” Ch 19
- and then the importance of the feminine and the way women feel and are treated
“The Heroine’s Journey, the feminine journey, Murdock explains, is the journey in. Into the psyche, the body, the shadow, the soul.” Ch 19.
“To think about what was right with me, instead of an endless litany of what was wrong with me.” Ch 19
From seeing her parents as physicians, she talks about what modern medicine gets wrong and right:
“Our medicine, put simply, is missing its other half.
The darker half.
The slower half.
The more compassionate half.
The half that is willing to descend, to search and figure out what is truly going
on, no matter how inconvenient it is—so the patient can finally, genuinely ascend.” Ch 21
Chapter 28 finally gives a good list of what she learned she is dealing with and what has worked.
In the end, she learned
“The fostering, the nourishment, the tending to myself, the commitment to daily ritual, the trusting of my own feelings and intuition intuition, the emphasis on connection, the willingness to change, and the acceptance and surrender to the dark aspects of myself, my body, and my psyche—“ ch 31
https://www.patreon.com/posts/66506317
I think this book is important for so many women who feel like Sarah did throughout her journey (with financial means or not), who are unheard, and not only unheard but treated cruelly. What is interesting about her story is that she comes from a family of physicians, both parents and a grandmother. Throughout her medical journey, she tries everything - top medical facilities to alternative therapies.
I felt like a bunch of this could have been edited and condensed, with maybe a summary of what was tried and what worked, what didn’t - because there is a lot. A lot that goes wrong and doesn’t help. So it’s a lot to read, but I think she makes some helpful points along the way.
What she wants readers to know, especially women, is they are not alone:
“… I could not deny: it was getting much worse.
And in the most mysterious ways.
I was on so many medications and getting so sick so fast, it was like a rabbit hole had opened up beneath me—that I was falling slowly past the clocks and the candlesticks, and that my parents and doctors were peering over the edge, quietly watching me float down and away.
~
The entire point of The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness is this:
It would have been helpful to know what a well-trafficked rabbit hole that was.
~
The unfortunate but innocuous series of medical events. The gallons of antibiotics and fistfuls of painkillers. The severe digestive issues, gynecologic issues, joint pain, itching, and fatigue. The referrals, the specialists, the puzzlement.” Chapter 1
If you have known people who have these medical conditions and feel exhausted and alone, this is the book that shows them they are not.
“Now my health was a trickster, a shapeshifter, a shroud, a mist.” Chapter 3
This describes a little of the extent she tried, and how she felt:
“And if conventional medicine has no answers, or is making it worse, or is permanently demeaning and dismissive, it is human to try to find help wherever she can get it—no matter how extreme, no matter how woo. This is what sends people to ashrams, and cryogenic freezing tubes, and ayahuasca shamans in the Amazon rain forest. This is what drives people to set up in-home colonic machines, and become zealous about crazy diets, and too-passionate about kale. That is how you get your rectum hooked up to an ozone machine at a stranger’s house in the suburbs of Los Angeles. While these sorts of things are easy to pooh-pooh as a doctor, or a rational skeptic, or anyone on the outside—if you are the patient, the perspective is radically different. How do you say no to a cure? How do you resist the promise of feeling better, even if it sounds a little eccentric?” Ch 11
So then, after you see how many things don’t work, as she hits the bottom, she tells how she got through it. The mental work she did to live with so much pain.
“Somewhere early on, we had all started referring to this decade of my life as the Healing Journey.” Ch 19
- and then the importance of the feminine and the way women feel and are treated
“The Heroine’s Journey, the feminine journey, Murdock explains, is the journey in. Into the psyche, the body, the shadow, the soul.” Ch 19.
“To think about what was right with me, instead of an endless litany of what was wrong with me.” Ch 19
From seeing her parents as physicians, she talks about what modern medicine gets wrong and right:
“Our medicine, put simply, is missing its other half.
The darker half.
The slower half.
The more compassionate half.
The half that is willing to descend, to search and figure out what is truly going
on, no matter how inconvenient it is—so the patient can finally, genuinely ascend.” Ch 21
Chapter 28 finally gives a good list of what she learned she is dealing with and what has worked.
In the end, she learned
“The fostering, the nourishment, the tending to myself, the commitment to daily ritual, the trusting of my own feelings and intuition intuition, the emphasis on connection, the willingness to change, and the acceptance and surrender to the dark aspects of myself, my body, and my psyche—“ ch 31