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3.7 AVERAGE
3.7 AVERAGE
I could barely get through this, and skimmed A LOT. As a woman with fibromyalgia, I wanted to love it. I highlighted a lot in part one. But after that... I couldn’t handle the rambling, the weird feminist/mythological/heroine’s journey thing that happened in the middle. And if she called me “reader” or “dear” one more time, I was going to do what she encouraged a couple times: throw the book out the window. But I like my iPad too much...
The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness: A Memoir by Sarah Ramey
As someone with a few mysterious illnesses of my own or, as Ramey terms it, a WOMI, this book means a lot to me. Her story is horrific and all too common, and I am in awe of the hope she is able to hold on to, but more than that, I am inspired by her feminist awakening and commitment to fight for herself (and other WOMIs)
The book isn’t perfect, and as most books that deal with diet/lifestyle changes, can come off a bit fatphobic, but considerably less so than most others. Ramey seems aware of herself and her privileges (white, cis, thin, wealthy) which was appreciated.
I think this is a worth read for anyone who is or loves someone with a mysterious illness.
4/5⭐️
As someone with a few mysterious illnesses of my own or, as Ramey terms it, a WOMI, this book means a lot to me. Her story is horrific and all too common, and I am in awe of the hope she is able to hold on to, but more than that, I am inspired by her feminist awakening and commitment to fight for herself (and other WOMIs)
The book isn’t perfect, and as most books that deal with diet/lifestyle changes, can come off a bit fatphobic, but considerably less so than most others. Ramey seems aware of herself and her privileges (white, cis, thin, wealthy) which was appreciated.
I think this is a worth read for anyone who is or loves someone with a mysterious illness.
4/5⭐️
When every step forward pushes you back two, how do you continue? When every doctor thinks you’re hysterical and every medication makes you sick, when the pain keeps you in bed, how do you carry on?
Through the author’s journey, we learn about many new topics in medical conversations, such as the gut microbiome and cortisol levels. We also learn more about humanity, sexism, and womanhood.
This story is not for the faint of heart. There are painful medical conditions and procedures described, and multiple times I teared up in sympathy for the author. However, this book holds so much strength, so much power. It speaks to womanhood and the power of feminine energy. It speaks to society and how we treat our bodies. It teaches us how to stand up for ourselves.
Through the author’s journey, we learn about many new topics in medical conversations, such as the gut microbiome and cortisol levels. We also learn more about humanity, sexism, and womanhood.
This story is not for the faint of heart. There are painful medical conditions and procedures described, and multiple times I teared up in sympathy for the author. However, this book holds so much strength, so much power. It speaks to womanhood and the power of feminine energy. It speaks to society and how we treat our bodies. It teaches us how to stand up for ourselves.
Oh boy. Where do I begin with this? This is going to sound harsh, but I am going to be brutally honest here.
First and foremost, she has no self-awareness at all. She goes on transphobic, hundred-page-long rants at random points about how women and men are different and how gender is a social construct but just kidding it's actually not and in case you didn't get that she's a TERF, why doesn't she add 90 references to Harry Potter in every sentence? She never acknowledges her privilege as a rich white patient (maybe once or twice in the beginning, but not nearly enough), yet describes countless instances of her visiting 900 doctors, not struggling financially at all, having lost of medical connections through her family, and so much more. You can't write a book about biases in medicine and NEVER bring up racial biases.
Now let's step aside from how problematic it is and talk about the actual memoir parts:
I feel for her. I relate to a lot of the gaslighting she experienced in the medical field. But that is the entire memoir-- it's just bad medical visits, no arc, her coming to the same realization over and over and over again, reminders that she is the biggest victim, just repetitive "and then they said I had no issues so I tried yoga and then I realized it was all stress-induced and so is your pain, and some people have fibromyalgia and some people have cancer but my pain is so much worse than all of their pain so fuck you all, WOMIs. And on that note, fuck doctors. And by the way, dear reader-- have I mentioned my flaming anus in this sentence? What about Hogwarts? Hades? My singing career? Click. Trauma causes disease. CRPS is more painful than anything in the entire universe, and my vagina hurts. In conclusion, gluten."
So other than being a racist, classist, transphobic mess, and other than its annoying narration and plotlessness, it's also just completely medically inaccurate. As another reviewer mentioned, there are no sources at all to back up 90% of what she's saying, yet she writes with the confidence of a medical reference book.
At the end of the day, you get nothing from this. The "handbook" could be summarized in a 2-minute wikiHow article, and that article would be utter bullshit. This makes me want to write my own memoir to counteract the bullshit that this book spewed into the world.
First and foremost, she has no self-awareness at all. She goes on transphobic, hundred-page-long rants at random points about how women and men are different and how gender is a social construct but just kidding it's actually not and in case you didn't get that she's a TERF, why doesn't she add 90 references to Harry Potter in every sentence? She never acknowledges her privilege as a rich white patient (maybe once or twice in the beginning, but not nearly enough), yet describes countless instances of her visiting 900 doctors, not struggling financially at all, having lost of medical connections through her family, and so much more. You can't write a book about biases in medicine and NEVER bring up racial biases.
Now let's step aside from how problematic it is and talk about the actual memoir parts:
I feel for her. I relate to a lot of the gaslighting she experienced in the medical field. But that is the entire memoir-- it's just bad medical visits, no arc, her coming to the same realization over and over and over again, reminders that she is the biggest victim, just repetitive "and then they said I had no issues so I tried yoga and then I realized it was all stress-induced and so is your pain, and some people have fibromyalgia and some people have cancer but my pain is so much worse than all of their pain so fuck you all, WOMIs. And on that note, fuck doctors. And by the way, dear reader-- have I mentioned my flaming anus in this sentence? What about Hogwarts? Hades? My singing career? Click. Trauma causes disease. CRPS is more painful than anything in the entire universe, and my vagina hurts. In conclusion, gluten."
So other than being a racist, classist, transphobic mess, and other than its annoying narration and plotlessness, it's also just completely medically inaccurate. As another reviewer mentioned, there are no sources at all to back up 90% of what she's saying, yet she writes with the confidence of a medical reference book.
At the end of the day, you get nothing from this. The "handbook" could be summarized in a 2-minute wikiHow article, and that article would be utter bullshit. This makes me want to write my own memoir to counteract the bullshit that this book spewed into the world.
Welp. Hard to rate, so much to unpack. Some good stuff here that is overshadowed by so much bad. I was really quite shocked at how badly the author mangled concepts such as feminism and gender. Like, real bad. I am a woman with a mysterious illness so I was really hoping for better. I really wanted to like this, especially with the clever title and the promise if its description, but yikes.
Such a fucking hard read. At times I had to stop because it hit too close to home, but at others it felt like a caring embrace, like *actually* being seen. Part three especially had a sense of empathy and compassion that has largely been missing from medical care for so long, I didn't realise I had started denying it to myself too. Be gentle with yourselves, fellow readers.
dark
emotional
funny
informative
medium-paced
This memoir occasionally had me wishing it would soon be over, not only for me, but for the author herself, so that she would finally be free from pain. But this is not a happy ending kind of book, and you know that going in. This is a "here is a large dose of reality" kind of book. It is not lost on me that I found it difficult to endure over the course of several days, but the author lived these infuriating hardships for over a decade.
The structure, while paging through the book, may look like an attempt to make it seem longer than it is, with frequent breaks and short sections, sometimes only a couple of words long, but this is not only strategic, it is wholly necessary. If it were formatted any other way, it would be dense, clinical, overwhelming, and the importance of what she's writing about would be lost. It needs to be digested in small sections.
The author was once told she suffered from a lack of rage. Readers of this account will not. The things women have to do to be taken seriously, to be believed about what they know of their own bodies, their own lived experiences, is astounding and horrifying. "Staying likable" to doctors who have belittled and dismissed her, prescribed her antidepressants for physical symptoms which resulted in serious suicidal inclinations, just so that "this well-respected doctor will continue to provide care on into the future" is absolutely terrifying, as a woman, as a person.
While the middle hundred pages dragged a little for me, I appreciate how thorough the author was with everything she considered, including the lengthy resource list at the back of the book.
The structure, while paging through the book, may look like an attempt to make it seem longer than it is, with frequent breaks and short sections, sometimes only a couple of words long, but this is not only strategic, it is wholly necessary. If it were formatted any other way, it would be dense, clinical, overwhelming, and the importance of what she's writing about would be lost. It needs to be digested in small sections.
The author was once told she suffered from a lack of rage. Readers of this account will not. The things women have to do to be taken seriously, to be believed about what they know of their own bodies, their own lived experiences, is astounding and horrifying. "Staying likable" to doctors who have belittled and dismissed her, prescribed her antidepressants for physical symptoms which resulted in serious suicidal inclinations, just so that "this well-respected doctor will continue to provide care on into the future" is absolutely terrifying, as a woman, as a person.
While the middle hundred pages dragged a little for me, I appreciate how thorough the author was with everything she considered, including the lengthy resource list at the back of the book.
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Misogyny, Sexism, Transphobia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Injury/Injury detail
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
slow-paced
This book's strength lies in bringing awareness to mysterious chronic illnesses that are difficult to treat and whose causes are poorly understood. Sarah Ramey tells us about her experience with her mysterious illness while injecting humor into her narrative. Her story is not based on science or research, so readers should not expect answers or explanations. This is simply an experiential account of the author's journey. Some parts of the book dragged on for me, but I think they were important to the author. For example, the bit about the hero's/heroine's journey lost me, but I can see how it was import to Ramey's development.