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peggyd's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
Maybe 3.5? I read this because Thorpe wrote one of the best judgments for 2024's Tournament of Books that I have ever read, and I wanted more of that distinct, creative voice.
This is an ambitious novel about a fractured family digging into the past as a way to try to heal their present and maybe (unclear) avoid the future.
Lucas has been an absent father for most of Vera's life, but now he is finally ready to be a parent. He thinks. Vera, 17 years-old, smart, and wild seems ambivalent about this but willing to give it a go. And then...she has some kind of episode. Diagnosed as bipolar, Vera resists. As a way to heal and perhaps to finally get to know his daughter, Lucas takes her to Vilnius, to reconnect with his daughter and his now dead grandmother who escaped the Nazis in dramatic fashion in a story that has structured the way Lucas sees the world for a long time.
Of course, this "vacation" turns out to be so much more. Though it's meant to bring them closer together, they both pursue their own interests (he wants to sleep with someone in their tour group, Vera wants to be independent and "well"), in their own bubbles, in ways that will clearly have consequences. It's about the conflict of family history and global history. What we tell ourselves to construct an identity we can live with and what happens when that identity gets disrupted or taken away entirely. Because the grandmother's story has...holes, big ones, in the form of a family that survived. And Vera's story fractures dramatically and makes Lucas question both who he is as a father/man and who Vera is at all.
The tone shifts here are interesting. At times I audibly chuckled at Vera's sarcasm, Lucas's utter lack of awareness, or just an unexpected, delightful description. Other times, the sobering recounting of what families suffered at the hands of the Nazis brought me up short. In a big way, this is about people trying to understand the familial past in order to (try) to understand who they are and should be. It's a big swing and as interesting as it is, sometimes takes away from the tight, family-excavating novel this wants to be. We dive deeply into Lucas and Katya's past, their decision to have Vera, and how they failed each other and Vera at almost every turn thereafter.
I'm a bit worn-out on sad-sack white male characters, so Lucas was frustrating for me and I chafed against being tied to his POV for much of the novel. We only get Vera through her emails to her boyfriend Fang and some letters to herself or others that she never sends. Because of that, she becomes a kind of blurry character when all I wanted to do was know her better, understand even a little bit her racing mind. And Katya? Non-existent really except as this ideal mother (from Lucas's perspective) and we don't get much more than that.
But Thorpe can write and I'll read more of her for sure. I just hope she moves beyond the mediocre white dude narrators!
This is an ambitious novel about a fractured family digging into the past as a way to try to heal their present and maybe (unclear) avoid the future.
Lucas has been an absent father for most of Vera's life, but now he is finally ready to be a parent. He thinks. Vera, 17 years-old, smart, and wild seems ambivalent about this but willing to give it a go. And then...she has some kind of episode. Diagnosed as bipolar, Vera resists. As a way to heal and perhaps to finally get to know his daughter, Lucas takes her to Vilnius, to reconnect with his daughter and his now dead grandmother who escaped the Nazis in dramatic fashion in a story that has structured the way Lucas sees the world for a long time.
Of course, this "vacation" turns out to be so much more. Though it's meant to bring them closer together, they both pursue their own interests (he wants to sleep with someone in their tour group, Vera wants to be independent and "well"), in their own bubbles, in ways that will clearly have consequences. It's about the conflict of family history and global history. What we tell ourselves to construct an identity we can live with and what happens when that identity gets disrupted or taken away entirely. Because the grandmother's story has...holes, big ones, in the form of a family that survived. And Vera's story fractures dramatically and makes Lucas question both who he is as a father/man and who Vera is at all.
The tone shifts here are interesting. At times I audibly chuckled at Vera's sarcasm, Lucas's utter lack of awareness, or just an unexpected, delightful description. Other times, the sobering recounting of what families suffered at the hands of the Nazis brought me up short. In a big way, this is about people trying to understand the familial past in order to (try) to understand who they are and should be. It's a big swing and as interesting as it is, sometimes takes away from the tight, family-excavating novel this wants to be. We dive deeply into Lucas and Katya's past, their decision to have Vera, and how they failed each other and Vera at almost every turn thereafter.
I'm a bit worn-out on sad-sack white male characters, so Lucas was frustrating for me and I chafed against being tied to his POV for much of the novel. We only get Vera through her emails to her boyfriend Fang and some letters to herself or others that she never sends. Because of that, she becomes a kind of blurry character when all I wanted to do was know her better, understand even a little bit her racing mind. And Katya? Non-existent really except as this ideal mother (from Lucas's perspective) and we don't get much more than that.
But Thorpe can write and I'll read more of her for sure. I just hope she moves beyond the mediocre white dude narrators!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Schizophrenia/Psychosis
Minor: Rape
theyellowbrickreader's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Self harm, Mental illness, and Violence
sarahweiss's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
kevin_shepherd's review against another edition
5.0
"I knew what bipolar was in a vague, strictly literary way, but I didn't know the differences between I and II, didn't know the treatment protocols. I didn't know that they were telling me my daughter would never live a completely functional adult life, that she would always be on medication, that the medication would affect her health, that she might not be able to hold a job, that she might not be able to graduate college, that she might not be able to sustain long-term relationships, like a marriage or even close friendships, that she should not have children. I thought they were telling me my daughter was being rebellious and emotional, things I already knew."
Rufi Thorpe's characters are nuanced in ways that make them spring to life. They're people we know: friends, family, beings we believe in and (often) empathize with. Everything about this fictional story rings true. From its presentation of a dysfunctional family to the challenges of living with bipolar disorder and depression. Yet, all that is secondary to the real heart of the narrative ~ the dynamic of an estranged father trying to connect with a daughter he desperately loves.
This is fantastic story telling that I found hard to put down.
Rufi Thorpe's characters are nuanced in ways that make them spring to life. They're people we know: friends, family, beings we believe in and (often) empathize with. Everything about this fictional story rings true. From its presentation of a dysfunctional family to the challenges of living with bipolar disorder and depression. Yet, all that is secondary to the real heart of the narrative ~ the dynamic of an estranged father trying to connect with a daughter he desperately loves.
This is fantastic story telling that I found hard to put down.
orangewitchling's review
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
This was an intriguing book, it touched on mental health and generational trauma from a father/daughter perspective. I really enjoyed it, it was heartbreaking and I couldn’t put it down.
banrions's review against another edition
2.0
I didn't really connect with any of the characters, and it was easy to put down and forget about for days at a time. Unfortunately. The author showed potential though, still a good chance I'd check out another book of theirs, if it sounded like something more up my alley.
bianca89279's review against another edition
5.0
Rufi Thorpe has become one of my favourite writers - I can ascertain that based on the fact that I read and loved her three novels.
Dear Fang, With Love is about relationships of all kinds, heritage, family mythology, secrets, mental illness, guilt and so many other things. A great deal of the plot happens in Vilnius, Lithuania and I found that fascinating. I would love to visit the three Baltic countries - Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia. Look at me dreaming about travelling ...
It's difficult to articulate why I love Thorpe's writing so much. On the surface, the writing is not overly lyrical and obviously crafted to impress literary fiction connoisseurs. Thorpe's writing flows easily, the reader is not burdened with deciphering style and fancy literary devices which sometimes can put a distance between the reader and the characters. These characters are as real as they come, ordinary yet very interesting. I also loved how Thorpe structured the story. It's mostly narrated by Lucas, an English college teacher, thirty-five, who's trying hard to better his relationship with his seventeen-year-old, Vera, whom he fathered when eighteen. There's a lot of guilt and awkwardness. Vera is super intelligent and sees through people's BS. As it turns out, she's also mentally unwell. We find out Vera's thoughts through her emails to her boyfriend and through some of her Word documents. I thought that was clever.
A trip to Vilnius, Lithuania gives the father and daughter the opportunity to become closer, while also allowing Lucas to track down some of his beloved grandmother's life. It's an eventful trip, to say the least.
Thorpe's novels are so different in themes and style, I can't help but admire her versatility and look forward to reading whatever she writes next.
Dear Fang, With Love is about relationships of all kinds, heritage, family mythology, secrets, mental illness, guilt and so many other things. A great deal of the plot happens in Vilnius, Lithuania and I found that fascinating. I would love to visit the three Baltic countries - Lithuania, Estonia and Latvia. Look at me dreaming about travelling ...
It's difficult to articulate why I love Thorpe's writing so much. On the surface, the writing is not overly lyrical and obviously crafted to impress literary fiction connoisseurs. Thorpe's writing flows easily, the reader is not burdened with deciphering style and fancy literary devices which sometimes can put a distance between the reader and the characters. These characters are as real as they come, ordinary yet very interesting. I also loved how Thorpe structured the story. It's mostly narrated by Lucas, an English college teacher, thirty-five, who's trying hard to better his relationship with his seventeen-year-old, Vera, whom he fathered when eighteen. There's a lot of guilt and awkwardness. Vera is super intelligent and sees through people's BS. As it turns out, she's also mentally unwell. We find out Vera's thoughts through her emails to her boyfriend and through some of her Word documents. I thought that was clever.
A trip to Vilnius, Lithuania gives the father and daughter the opportunity to become closer, while also allowing Lucas to track down some of his beloved grandmother's life. It's an eventful trip, to say the least.
Thorpe's novels are so different in themes and style, I can't help but admire her versatility and look forward to reading whatever she writes next.
kelseydkim's review against another edition
5.0
I literally grabbed this book off the shelf at random and ended up loving it! I think this is only one of a handful of books published in the last ten years that I've rated 5 stars. It's written very well, is very seamless in plot, is very interesting without being over emotional (hard to do when you're exploring familial relationships, mental illness, and the Holocaust), and as a bonus to me.. It discusses Virginia Woolf a lot.