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ebrark's review against another edition
2.0
Kitabın isminin "My Past Is a Foreign Country: A Muslim Feminist Finds Herself" ve yazarın bir çok farklı ülkede yaşamış olması bende büyük bir merak uyandırdı. Böylece "kadının" farklı kültürlerdeki ve İslam'daki yerine daha fazla değineceğini ummuştum. Ama açıkcası bu konulara sadece değinmekle kalmış, yazarın bu konuları derin bir şekilde kaleme almadığını düşünüyorum. Ayrıca eşiyle tanıştıktan sonraki kısımlarda ana konuyu beslemeyen bir çok ayrıntı olduğunu düşünüyorum.
ahexclamation's review against another edition
5.0
I am glad I read this book. The gradual build of learning about Zeba's life helps you truly understand what she has learnt. I picked this book up as I want to broaden my understanding of feminism and religions relationship with feminist ideology from a different point of view than my own. Zeba's insights are honest and thoughtful.
sirija's review against another edition
4.0
It took me quite some time to collect my thoughts on this one. It was a simple yet powerful piece of writing that explores many themes from racism to sexual assault. The author tackles all of these issues with expertise so it never comes across as jarring. I'll admit, I went into this one expecting to follow the journey of a woman who grew up in shackles in Saudi Arabia and moves to the West and ultimately finds her voice. But it turned out to be so much more than that. The author doesn't hate her time in Saudi and she doesn't hesitate to point out the shortcomings of both societies. However, I wish the author explained a few topics in a little more detail than she chose to. Then again, it might've messed with the pacing of the book, which was one of its biggest assets, so I don't really know.
The summer visits to her grandparents' place transported me back to my childhood. Her struggles while trying to live up to these unattainable beauty standards that society has placed upon us felt all too familiar. Her rocky relationship with her mother and how it develops over the course of time forced me to see my own mother in a different light. It made me smile, it made me cry and it made me check my privilege boxes.
All in all, this book was a very impactful read. The last few paragraphs were very insightful. She has a strong voice and i look forward to reading more of her works.
The summer visits to her grandparents' place transported me back to my childhood. Her struggles while trying to live up to these unattainable beauty standards that society has placed upon us felt all too familiar. Her rocky relationship with her mother and how it develops over the course of time forced me to see my own mother in a different light. It made me smile, it made me cry and it made me check my privilege boxes.
All in all, this book was a very impactful read. The last few paragraphs were very insightful. She has a strong voice and i look forward to reading more of her works.
hanzy's review against another edition
4.0
An extremely well written memoir.
I was a bit skeptical upon picking this one up as I’d read articles written in praise of the book comparing my beloved hometown with The Handmaid’s Tale. Perhaps those were the only bits that didn’t sit so right with me. Witnessing some of my own perspectives portrayed through the lens of another became a hard pill for me to swallow. A struggle in itself perhaps, for in my own opinion, I felt parts of the story were a lot more generalised to fit the likes of a western mind than what I have known to be true. However, to each their own unique experience, the writer did a wonderful job of presenting everything that led her to become the person she is today. I loved the latter half of the book with some thought-provoking gems and perspectives that I couldn’t help annotate while stopping to ponder for a bit. By the end of the book, my empathetic side took over the judgmental side and I feel extreme gratitude for my own life and circumstances. For while I may share the same background, my life hasn’t been as affected by the patriarchal society described.
I was a bit skeptical upon picking this one up as I’d read articles written in praise of the book comparing my beloved hometown with The Handmaid’s Tale. Perhaps those were the only bits that didn’t sit so right with me. Witnessing some of my own perspectives portrayed through the lens of another became a hard pill for me to swallow. A struggle in itself perhaps, for in my own opinion, I felt parts of the story were a lot more generalised to fit the likes of a western mind than what I have known to be true. However, to each their own unique experience, the writer did a wonderful job of presenting everything that led her to become the person she is today. I loved the latter half of the book with some thought-provoking gems and perspectives that I couldn’t help annotate while stopping to ponder for a bit. By the end of the book, my empathetic side took over the judgmental side and I feel extreme gratitude for my own life and circumstances. For while I may share the same background, my life hasn’t been as affected by the patriarchal society described.
half_book_and_co's review against another edition
4.0
In My Past Is A Foreign Country, Zeba Talkhani tells the story of the first 27 years of her life. She writes about growing up as an Indian Muslim girl in Saudi Arabia, then moving for her studies first to India, then Germany, and finally the UK. Her story (as the book's tagline says "A Muslim feminist finds herself") could have been easily told in a way which plays easily into the West's favourite narratives about Muslim women finding emancipation in the West. But Talkhani tells her story in a way that actively examines such narrow boxes and deconstructs them. She looks critically at the society she grew up in but uses her same astute ability for observations of societies she moves to. And while the book is very approachable and Talkhani does explain a lot of terms, concepts, food, etc., she never loses her own perspective. The memoir touches upon topics such as mother-daughter relationships within the patriarchy, living with hair loss and navigating ideas around beauty, migration (from the privileges connected to her own migration story to the connection of colonialism and migration), finding her own connection to her religion, racism in the West, the exclusionary nature of the publishing industry, and sexual assault. The multitude of themes feels never too much - just as the reflection of life and Talkhani's personal growth is the thread to hold it all together.
itzreibrary's review against another edition
5.0
‘But beauty is the illusion of power and choice. Nobody’s beauty has served them beyond their marriage. As they say in my community, once you are married, it’s the same pots and pans for all women.’ –page 58.
‘By emphasizing beauty, the patriarchy has created a structure in which women are forced to focus on superficial aspects. Judging a gender by their looks can only foster insecurities and that is the intentions.’ –page 59.
‘…I realized, that if your faith is threatened by a young girl’s questioning, maybe it’s time to revisit our values.’ –page 87.
‘My religion is above the culture I had grown up in. My religion is better than the people who oppress their women in the name of Islam. I had seen too many Muslim women believe that submission to man is equal to submission to God. And if that’s not blasphemous, I don’t know what is.’ –page 88.
‘Issues that impacted me and women who looked like me were not discussed as widely as ‘Western’ issues were. And when Muslim women were discussed, it was to blame us rather than help. The hijab and niqab were always discussed as practices forced on Muslim women, even when we talked about how it was in individual choice. Instead of focusing on our voices, it looked as though mainstream feminists were keen to create their own narrative for us. I think they like the idea of “saving us from ourselves”.’ –page 194-195.
The quotations above in my opinion are quite representing the contents of this book. Zeba Talkhani, an Indian girl who lived in Jeddah until she graduated from school, shared her experience of Indian culture and Saudi Arabia's patriarchal and oppressive laws for women. In her teens, Zeba suffered severe hair loss and this became a big problem especially for her family, since Zeba would not ‘sell’ to be a wife. Not to mention her nature of being curious and always questioning everything that limit her movements, including Islamic laws, and the ambition to pursue her career rather than busy ‘dressing up' in order to get good prospective husband. After college and living in Germany and then England, Zeba also experienced discrimination because of her color.
I love this book because of Zeba's forthright and honest writings. Zeba also shares tips on how to stand up to a nosy family members who like to intervene and saying hurtful things, as well as how to defend oneself to a situations one cannot control (she called this ‘radical self-care’). I love how she praises Islam and always glorify it, how she worships his parents even though they are different and often argued.
This book is very worth reading, especially for young adults who are searching for their identity.
‘For years I yearned for love and acceptance until I realized that the voice I was looking for was mine.’ –page 198.
‘By emphasizing beauty, the patriarchy has created a structure in which women are forced to focus on superficial aspects. Judging a gender by their looks can only foster insecurities and that is the intentions.’ –page 59.
‘…I realized, that if your faith is threatened by a young girl’s questioning, maybe it’s time to revisit our values.’ –page 87.
‘My religion is above the culture I had grown up in. My religion is better than the people who oppress their women in the name of Islam. I had seen too many Muslim women believe that submission to man is equal to submission to God. And if that’s not blasphemous, I don’t know what is.’ –page 88.
‘Issues that impacted me and women who looked like me were not discussed as widely as ‘Western’ issues were. And when Muslim women were discussed, it was to blame us rather than help. The hijab and niqab were always discussed as practices forced on Muslim women, even when we talked about how it was in individual choice. Instead of focusing on our voices, it looked as though mainstream feminists were keen to create their own narrative for us. I think they like the idea of “saving us from ourselves”.’ –page 194-195.
The quotations above in my opinion are quite representing the contents of this book. Zeba Talkhani, an Indian girl who lived in Jeddah until she graduated from school, shared her experience of Indian culture and Saudi Arabia's patriarchal and oppressive laws for women. In her teens, Zeba suffered severe hair loss and this became a big problem especially for her family, since Zeba would not ‘sell’ to be a wife. Not to mention her nature of being curious and always questioning everything that limit her movements, including Islamic laws, and the ambition to pursue her career rather than busy ‘dressing up' in order to get good prospective husband. After college and living in Germany and then England, Zeba also experienced discrimination because of her color.
I love this book because of Zeba's forthright and honest writings. Zeba also shares tips on how to stand up to a nosy family members who like to intervene and saying hurtful things, as well as how to defend oneself to a situations one cannot control (she called this ‘radical self-care’). I love how she praises Islam and always glorify it, how she worships his parents even though they are different and often argued.
This book is very worth reading, especially for young adults who are searching for their identity.
‘For years I yearned for love and acceptance until I realized that the voice I was looking for was mine.’ –page 198.
saskiacb's review against another edition
Talkhani’s pose is gripping in it’s simplicity and accessibility. I don’t rate memoirs or autobiographies, however, I could’ve read at least another hundred pages of this because her voice, her points and perspective felt like a dialogue with the reader that could continue forward.
In all, I didn’t read this critically, because that isn’t my place and although I didn’t agree with some of her conclusions or wordings this was ultimately about listening to Zeba Talkhani speak her truth: her experience of being an immigrant, an Indian Muslim woman living in Jeddah and in Cambridge and Cheltenham. And it was incredibly engaging.
In all, I didn’t read this critically, because that isn’t my place and although I didn’t agree with some of her conclusions or wordings this was ultimately about listening to Zeba Talkhani speak her truth: her experience of being an immigrant, an Indian Muslim woman living in Jeddah and in Cambridge and Cheltenham. And it was incredibly engaging.
namakurhea's review against another edition
3.0
In this memoir, Zeba Talkhani talks about her experience growing up as an Indian Muslim in Jeddah, pursuing her studies and independence in Manipal, before spreading her wings as an adult in Germany and UK. It is a small book (not more than 200 pages) but it touches upon a lot of topics: the complex relationship with her mom, the journey of self-discovery in a society where women is defined by who she is attached with (father, husband, brother), and her decision to stop putting her life in hold for others' approval.
Probably the most impactful part of the book for me are the passages on Zeba Talkhani and her mother. In her youth, her mother's instability was frustrating. But as an adult, she realized that there are layers to that instability. Mothers are women too who sometimes had to balance being one's self with what the society expects. You are lucky if you didn't have to choose... but for some others the choice is real. The result is oftentimes a dissonance within the self. And when internalized, the trauma could really be passed down to future generations.
Definitely would recommend this!
Probably the most impactful part of the book for me are the passages on Zeba Talkhani and her mother. In her youth, her mother's instability was frustrating. But as an adult, she realized that there are layers to that instability. Mothers are women too who sometimes had to balance being one's self with what the society expects. You are lucky if you didn't have to choose... but for some others the choice is real. The result is oftentimes a dissonance within the self. And when internalized, the trauma could really be passed down to future generations.
Definitely would recommend this!
diyankilaco's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.5