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I had the realization as I was reading that slavery books are triggering for me. Reading about the atrocities of slavery and reliving the moment activates a feeling deep inside of me, one that seems connected to my ancestors.
The second feeling is this tremendous sense of guilt. Have you heard of white guilt? I think I have that in terms of slavery as a black person. I feel guilty for things outside of my control that happened so long ago that I am having a hard time coming to terms that I benefited from slavery.
The last feeling I had was an overwhelming sense of wanting to connect with African roots, but I also feel conflicted about that. Who am I to claim a culture when I’m unsure of which one to claim? It’s one thing to claim something, but it’s another thing to be claimed.
I grew up in a home where my parents forced me to watch this made for television saga every time it aired for a few days on prime time television over 2-3 days. I despised being forced to watch stuff that could, would, and definitely succeded in traumatizing me. Now that I am older I have a better understanding of why my parents exposed me to the things that they did. Today I feel so accomplished that I read it cover to cover to experience the story more in-depth with new eyes. I want to seek out the original movie to watch again, then move onto reading Queen!
Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body horror, Child abuse, Child death, Confinement, Cursing, Death, Emotional abuse, Gore, Hate crime, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Violence, Blood, Vomit, Trafficking, Kidnapping, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Murder, Colonisation, Injury/Injury detail
Graphic: Racial slurs, Rape, Slavery, Vomit, Kidnapping
Moderate: Animal cruelty, Infidelity, Medical trauma, Fire/Fire injury, War, Injury/Injury detail, Classism