Scan barcode
ebal's review against another edition
5.0
This was not what I was expecting!
I am really glad to have listened this audiobook.
It is a comedy sci-fi and I was laughing through it.
Amazed by the core message / value of it and loved the appendix notes of the author.
I am really glad to have listened this audiobook.
It is a comedy sci-fi and I was laughing through it.
Amazed by the core message / value of it and loved the appendix notes of the author.
oakamoore's review
2.5
doesn't take itself too seriously, midway through features an abrupt tonal shift that felt a bit out of place, overall enjoyable.
iam's review against another edition
2.0
This was Not It.
The title sounds fun, silly, and smutty. Of those three it certainly was silly. The rest.... I'm not so sure about.
I think my main gripe with it was how painfully cis-het male gaze-y it was. And weirdly enough, if it had been actually smutty, I would have been more fine with it? Instead there are page-long scenes about the alien, who of course is (in the body of?) a hot woman, undressing and demanding the main character slather her up in soap, with plenty of attention paid to how perfectly rounded she is and how great her breasts are. Complete with a random person in the corner giving cackling commentary about the situation, and the main character fondling her breasts for longer than necessary, or absolutely HAVING to touch her butt, even though he "tries his best not to". Not to mention the internal monologue about how now all his dreams have come true.
What the alien thinks about this is, naturally, never mentioned, and the protagonist certainly doesn't ask.
So that was... something.
But even without these instances, the plot was not my thing. It's about a human getting roped into helping aliens (not) getting discovered by the authorities. The reasonings behind pretty much any decision (why the aliens are here, why he gets roped into it, why they (don't) trust him, why he trusts them - wait actually, that one is clear, because the one alien is a hot woman) are vague at best, and I just.... I don't know what else to say, I just found it silly and bizarre, and not in a good way. Even when the plot twists were interesting at face value, they just weren't interesting to me.
Overall a fail for me personally, and it doesn't quite hold up to what it promises.
Aliens? Sure, but they seem to look exactly like humans and we are left knowing pretty much nothing about them
Space? Minimal, the protagonist is mostly knocked out during these scenes.
Tentacles? None.
Porn? It seems to wish it was but didn't even halfway commit, instead coming off as creepy and weird.
The one thing I liked was the protagonist questioning if he is actually in love with the alien, or if he is just lusting after her because she's hot and doesn't adhere to human social norms and boundaries around nudity and touching.
The title sounds fun, silly, and smutty. Of those three it certainly was silly. The rest.... I'm not so sure about.
I think my main gripe with it was how painfully cis-het male gaze-y it was. And weirdly enough, if it had been actually smutty, I would have been more fine with it? Instead there are page-long scenes about the alien, who of course is (in the body of?) a hot woman, undressing and demanding the main character slather her up in soap, with plenty of attention paid to how perfectly rounded she is and how great her breasts are. Complete with a random person in the corner giving cackling commentary about the situation, and the main character fondling her breasts for longer than necessary, or absolutely HAVING to touch her butt, even though he "tries his best not to". Not to mention the internal monologue about how now all his dreams have come true.
What the alien thinks about this is, naturally, never mentioned, and the protagonist certainly doesn't ask.
So that was... something.
But even without these instances, the plot was not my thing. It's about a human getting roped into helping aliens (not) getting discovered by the authorities. The reasonings behind pretty much any decision (why the aliens are here, why he gets roped into it, why they (don't) trust him, why he trusts them - wait actually, that one is clear, because the one alien is a hot woman) are vague at best, and I just.... I don't know what else to say, I just found it silly and bizarre, and not in a good way. Even when the plot twists were interesting at face value, they just weren't interesting to me.
Overall a fail for me personally, and it doesn't quite hold up to what it promises.
Aliens? Sure, but they seem to look exactly like humans and we are left knowing pretty much nothing about them
Space? Minimal, the protagonist is mostly knocked out during these scenes.
Tentacles? None.
Porn? It seems to wish it was but didn't even halfway commit, instead coming off as creepy and weird.
The one thing I liked was the protagonist questioning if he is actually in love with the alien, or if he is just lusting after her because she's hot and doesn't adhere to human social norms and boundaries around nudity and touching.
thelauramay's review
4.0
So it turns out that I work with a guy who wrote a book called 'Alien Space Tentacle Porn'. I learned this while standing in a bowling alley--site of all great discoveries, obviously--and so bought the book on the spot. Because he wrote it, that is; not because of the possibility of tentacle porn.
Overall, I don't know whether I'm more impressed by Cawdron's writing, or by how prolific he is (who writes that many books?!). Generally, this was a well put-together book in that sort of 'seat-of-your-pants' style, wherein a clueless and somewhat hapless protagonist (think Arthur Dent) gets dragged out of their depth by a group of people who know what's going on and don't bother to stop and fill him in. It was quirky, enjoyable, and an easy read. I also particularly enjoyed the odd Vonnegut reference sprinkled in the text.
Of course, one risk of the seat-of-your-pants style is that sometimes, the structure of the text can get a bit out of hand (and don't I know it). It opens up gaps where the storyline can get bogged down, or rail-roaded by some particular sentiment or intrusion. In Alien Space Tentacle Porn, there was a long interlude in Chapter 3 wherein our protag asked questions and our friendly alien answered them, with little variation. This was bothersome insofar as the repetitive style of that section of the text, and because it felt like we were leaking from the protagonist's inner monologue, to that of the author: the character started to get a bit out-of-character. When later reading the book's epilogue, it becomes apparent that the themes raised in that chapter are key to the author's message in the book--and a little more structure to the novel would have allowed these themes to be smoothed out in a way that allows them to be conveyed in more than one bite. And I say 'bite', because key themes can be a like icing a cake--the icing (or frosting) needs to be spread out over the whole thing, or some areas will have too much, and some areas will have none. And we WANT icing, but we also want cake with it. (It may or may not be lunchtime, and I may or may not have a pretty extreme fever.)
Overall, some solid work from a very solid mostly-indie author. I've recommended his work to a slew of friends, and hope they each enjoy it at least as much as I did.
Overall, I don't know whether I'm more impressed by Cawdron's writing, or by how prolific he is (who writes that many books?!). Generally, this was a well put-together book in that sort of 'seat-of-your-pants' style, wherein a clueless and somewhat hapless protagonist (think Arthur Dent) gets dragged out of their depth by a group of people who know what's going on and don't bother to stop and fill him in. It was quirky, enjoyable, and an easy read. I also particularly enjoyed the odd Vonnegut reference sprinkled in the text.
Of course, one risk of the seat-of-your-pants style is that sometimes, the structure of the text can get a bit out of hand (and don't I know it). It opens up gaps where the storyline can get bogged down, or rail-roaded by some particular sentiment or intrusion. In Alien Space Tentacle Porn, there was a long interlude in Chapter 3 wherein our protag asked questions and our friendly alien answered them, with little variation. This was bothersome insofar as the repetitive style of that section of the text, and because it felt like we were leaking from the protagonist's inner monologue, to that of the author: the character started to get a bit out-of-character. When later reading the book's epilogue, it becomes apparent that the themes raised in that chapter are key to the author's message in the book--and a little more structure to the novel would have allowed these themes to be smoothed out in a way that allows them to be conveyed in more than one bite. And I say 'bite', because key themes can be a like icing a cake--the icing (or frosting) needs to be spread out over the whole thing, or some areas will have too much, and some areas will have none. And we WANT icing, but we also want cake with it. (It may or may not be lunchtime, and I may or may not have a pretty extreme fever.)
Overall, some solid work from a very solid mostly-indie author. I've recommended his work to a slew of friends, and hope they each enjoy it at least as much as I did.
wynnz's review
5.0
Another great novella, another great story. I really enjoyed this book, as with all the others I’ve read. This author is truly consistent in his writing. I’ve been thoroughly entertained by all his books so far. I’m really looking forward to reading the rest in this series.
nichola's review
funny
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
More like a 2.5 but I'm feeling generous.
Firstly, I firmly believe a book should not need an explanation at the end of the novel to justify the claims made. This book needed to be explained and justified which shows that it failed in its intention. This doesn't mean that it was bad. Just that it did not succeed in its intention at all. Too much sex which was not effectively juxtaposed against the seriousness of the narrative. I know this was meant to be fun. But it wasn't particularly successful. It feel like an alien was needed to make a woman anything more than a object that is work sexual gratification. Amazing how that could be achieved by having a real woman doing the same things?
This was a massive disappointment. Maybe my biggest issue is that this book objectifies women and then uses 50 shades of grey to justify its means. When there are much more effective First contact novels that discuss similar issues without the unnecessary element of porn. Also genuinely 50 shades of grey is only being used as a justification because it was written by a women while most other pornography has been created by and contributed by men.
Overall, not terrible but the justification made it worse rather than better because it proved there was more depth possible but missing from the story.
I'm probably not the right reader for this book but then again I'm not sure I want to see who the right one is? Because I'm worried it is fans of AndrewTate that need a reality check.
Maybe I'll try another book in this series but I doubt it.
Firstly, I firmly believe a book should not need an explanation at the end of the novel to justify the claims made. This book needed to be explained and justified which shows that it failed in its intention. This doesn't mean that it was bad. Just that it did not succeed in its intention at all. Too much sex which was not effectively juxtaposed against the seriousness of the narrative. I know this was meant to be fun. But it wasn't particularly successful. It feel like an alien was needed to make a woman anything more than a object that is work sexual gratification. Amazing how that could be achieved by having a real woman doing the same things?
This was a massive disappointment. Maybe my biggest issue is that this book objectifies women and then uses 50 shades of grey to justify its means. When there are much more effective First contact novels that discuss similar issues without the unnecessary element of porn. Also genuinely 50 shades of grey is only being used as a justification because it was written by a women while most other pornography has been created by and contributed by men.
Overall, not terrible but the justification made it worse rather than better because it proved there was more depth possible but missing from the story.
I'm probably not the right reader for this book but then again I'm not sure I want to see who the right one is? Because I'm worried it is fans of AndrewTate that need a reality check.
Maybe I'll try another book in this series but I doubt it.
colossal's review against another edition
5.0
After enjoying [b:Retrograde|33887274|Retrograde|Peter Cawdron|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1495876398s/33887274.jpg|52582653] recently I'd thought I'd try something else by this author and the title of this one stands out somewhat.
What we get is Joe, a New Yorker everyman who has a bizarre encounter when his beautiful neighbor's brother gets shot in the head and she enlists his help.
What follows is a romp that skewers every UFO abduction/aliens among us story ever and constantly keeps you wrong-footed with the alien's plans and how Joe deals with his situations.
There's an ongoing joke around the title which I won't spoil, but the book does have a lot to say about porn in general, or at least from an oblique angle. There's a lot of male-gaze stuff going on, but the book is well aware of what it's doing there and it gets as skewered as the rest of it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. It's funny and warm and smart which make it an excellent science fiction rom-com.
What we get is Joe, a New Yorker everyman who has a bizarre encounter when his beautiful neighbor's brother gets shot in the head and she enlists his help.
Sharon says, “Help me get him inside.”It turns out that Sharon and her brother Mark are aliens.
“He’s dead,” I say, stating the obvious.
“We can save him,” she replies, handing me the keys to her apartment. “Put him in the bathtub. Quick!”
“We’re scientists,” she says as she works. “We’re not from around here.”
“Brooklyn?” I ask, detecting a familiar twang in her accent.
“Wrong planet,” she replies, standing up and admiring her handiwork.
What follows is a romp that skewers every UFO abduction/aliens among us story ever and constantly keeps you wrong-footed with the alien's plans and how Joe deals with his situations.
There's an ongoing joke around the title which I won't spoil, but the book does have a lot to say about porn in general, or at least from an oblique angle. There's a lot of male-gaze stuff going on, but the book is well aware of what it's doing there and it gets as skewered as the rest of it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. It's funny and warm and smart which make it an excellent science fiction rom-com.
trish204's review against another edition
2.0
It's often the small things that hold the most significance.
This is not a deep novella. Although it's deeper than the title lets one suggest. *lol*
Guy meets alien, alien turns out to be in the body of a hot woman, man goes on romp through time with alien.
Along the way, it's about human discoveries and human deparivities. How humanity is capable of the best and worst imaginable. Our often awesome ingenuity.
The aliens can't just push a button and make decisions for us, change has to come from within. Until then, they're apparently trying to protect us from ourselves while we're growing up.
Equality. A quiet revolution.
The author throws in basically every stereotype about aliens out there and either throws them in for a laugh or turns them on their head. He also peppers the story with pop culture references such as CSI episodes and Bruce Willis quotes.
Sadly, I didn't laugh or even only grin once while reading this. Maybe it was the boob jokes / dick jokes / nudity jokes ... that got old very fast.
The references didn't really work for me, either, considering how the MC supposedly is from the 1950s but he was also pretty modern in his way of thinking anyway. It didn't throw me off exactly but it didn't help with my general problem: I didn't connect with anyone or anything here.
Cops? Soldiers? Doctors? DARPA? What's the aliens' end game? Is there gonna be a twist in the end?
Who cares?!
Either you click with a book or you don't and I, unfortunately, didn't. Not really. Even the message was too generic for me.
This is not a deep novella. Although it's deeper than the title lets one suggest. *lol*
Guy meets alien, alien turns out to be in the body of a hot woman, man goes on romp through time with alien.
Along the way, it's about human discoveries and human deparivities. How humanity is capable of the best and worst imaginable. Our often awesome ingenuity.
The aliens can't just push a button and make decisions for us, change has to come from within. Until then, they're apparently trying to protect us from ourselves while we're growing up.
Equality. A quiet revolution.
The author throws in basically every stereotype about aliens out there and either throws them in for a laugh or turns them on their head. He also peppers the story with pop culture references such as CSI episodes and Bruce Willis quotes.
Sadly, I didn't laugh or even only grin once while reading this. Maybe it was the boob jokes / dick jokes / nudity jokes ... that got old very fast.
The references didn't really work for me, either, considering how the MC supposedly is from the 1950s but he was also pretty modern in his way of thinking anyway. It didn't throw me off exactly but it didn't help with my general problem: I didn't connect with anyone or anything here.
Cops? Soldiers? Doctors? DARPA? What's the aliens' end game? Is there gonna be a twist in the end?
Who cares?!
Either you click with a book or you don't and I, unfortunately, didn't. Not really. Even the message was too generic for me.
kiikaridino's review
adventurous
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.75