Scan barcode
bradley's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Drug use, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Suicidal thoughts, Addiction, Child death, Mental illness, Car accident, Death, Drug abuse, Gore, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Panic attacks/disorders, Transphobia, and Violence
Moderate: Hate crime, Ableism, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Grief, and Toxic friendship
pucksandpaperbacks's review
CW: Death, blood, ableism, graphic depictions of self harm and suicidal thoughts, addiction
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Death, Blood, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Toxic friendship, Injury/Injury detail, Classism, and Ableism
onceuponabookcase's review
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
tense
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.5
Even If We Break by Marieke Nijkamp was a book I had been intrigued by for a while, so I was really looking forward to it when I picked me up. And while I was really enjoying it at first, by the end, I had mixed feelings.
It's told from the perspective of all five characters. Everyone has something going on in their lives that the others don't know about. Things have been strained in their friendship group ever since Finn was the victim of a transphobic attack that Liva witnessed and did nothing. Maddy has also been struggling with the chronic pain she now deals with since having a car accident, Ever's family are extremely poor, and they feel the pressure of trying to look after their little sister and doing what they can to make things less awful. Carter's family expect him to do what they want him to, no matter if he feels differently, and Liva comes from a wealthy, privileged family, and that comes with it's own kind of expectations. What brought them together, and continues to hold them together, is their RPG LARP game, and they've gone to Liva's cabin up a mountain for their final game; some of them are off to college in the autumn. It's their last chance to try and fix things, and their last adventure together within the game. But soon the game becomes twisted, and people begin to die.
I was really into Even If We Break at first. I didn't know their were RPGs other than Dungeons and Dragons, and hadn't heard of LARPs before. It was brilliantly geeky, and I got really into the idea of their game. It was a murder mystery, as all their games were, with Ever as game master. We have the narrations of the game, followed by the friends performing in character, trying to figure out who killed someone. It was so fascinating, and right up my street, that I was actually kind of disappoint when the game was stopped because people started dying.
The tension was fantastic! I guessed early on who the antagonist was, but I had no idea exactly what was happening, why, or what was going to happen next. I was completely gripped, right on the edge of my seat. It was just brilliant; all alone in a cabin up a mountain, their phones stolen, and no easy way of getting out. It was right out of a horror movie, and I just loved it! But then things started to change. As I mentioned, everyone had secrets, things going on in their life they weren't talking about with other people. But those things mattered in regards to the situation they found themselves in, so there would be flashbacks. But they weren't handled very well, in my opinion. The tension would be high, and you're just waiting for something to happen, and then there would be a flashback that lasted several pages. It slowed the pace right down. Once we got back to the present, the tension was gone. It really threw me, having something awful happen without the tension, because what was built dissipated with the flashback. And then there were times in the present when there was a lot of waiting for the next bit. The characters were scared and on edge, but nothing would happen for quite a while, and again, it slowed right down.
When we have the big reveal, I was also disappointed. We were left with too many questions. I never fully understood why they were doing what they were doing. I wish that had been explored further, or if there had been an actual conversation where the antagonist explained themselves, rather than us having a brief explanation. What was the plan? Why were they doing what they were doing? I have a rough idea about then, but it would follow up with another why? What did they expect to get out of it? What was the end goal? It was too brief, and over too quickly for me to understand what was going on. And I don't think the characters really understood either, because they weren't told.
And then on top of that, there were several chapters that followed the reveal, where the survivors had survived, and they were just very samey. They're finally honest about what's going on with them, and they have the others say they're there for them and will support and help them however they can, basically. And it was just too earnest; it was really sickly sweet, and had a similar vibe as when books are quite preachy. There were several chapters of this once the antagonist was dealt with, of just these conversations, before it ended. Again, it slowed things right down, and you see you still have a fair few pages left, and are wondering what could possibly happen next, is there another twist? No, just the characters talking. I am not saying you can't have a thriller where the characters are dealing with other things. Of course not. I mean, it's integral to most thrillers, having the antagonist knowing the others' secrets. But it just didn't work here. They weren't woven into the story well enough, and started to feel like two separate stories being told at once. Honestly, I started to lose interest in what was going on with them, because it was so frustrating constantly being thrown out of the thriller.
There was a lot of representation in this book, though, that I really appreciated, and thought was done really well - though I am privileged in most cases, so can't comment on accuracy. Finn is trans and disabled, and uses crutches; Maddy is autistic and bisexual, and has chronic pain; Ever is non-binary; and Carter is bisexual. Nijkamp is non-binary, queer, autistic and disabled herself, so a lot of the rep is #OwnVoices. I also really liked how Even If We Break kind of battled stereotypes within the thriller narrative. Finn being disabled means he's slower than everyone else, and with her autism, Maddy has several panic attacks due to being overwhelmed on all fronts and struggling to cope with the situation. Easy pickings, right? Wrong. They weren't weak characters because of their disability or autism; they weren't a non-issue, but they didn't stop them. They still fought, they still tried to get out, and never at any point did the others leave them behind. I really loved it.
But I was pretty disappointed with the story overall, which is a shame, because I loved Nijkamp's This is Where it Ends and Before I Let Go. This one just didn't work for me, sadly.
It's told from the perspective of all five characters. Everyone has something going on in their lives that the others don't know about. Things have been strained in their friendship group ever since Finn was the victim of a transphobic attack that Liva witnessed and did nothing. Maddy has also been struggling with the chronic pain she now deals with since having a car accident, Ever's family are extremely poor, and they feel the pressure of trying to look after their little sister and doing what they can to make things less awful. Carter's family expect him to do what they want him to, no matter if he feels differently, and Liva comes from a wealthy, privileged family, and that comes with it's own kind of expectations. What brought them together, and continues to hold them together, is their RPG LARP game, and they've gone to Liva's cabin up a mountain for their final game; some of them are off to college in the autumn. It's their last chance to try and fix things, and their last adventure together within the game. But soon the game becomes twisted, and people begin to die.
I was really into Even If We Break at first. I didn't know their were RPGs other than Dungeons and Dragons, and hadn't heard of LARPs before. It was brilliantly geeky, and I got really into the idea of their game. It was a murder mystery, as all their games were, with Ever as game master. We have the narrations of the game, followed by the friends performing in character, trying to figure out who killed someone. It was so fascinating, and right up my street, that I was actually kind of disappoint when the game was stopped because people started dying.
The tension was fantastic! I guessed early on who the antagonist was, but I had no idea exactly what was happening, why, or what was going to happen next. I was completely gripped, right on the edge of my seat. It was just brilliant; all alone in a cabin up a mountain, their phones stolen, and no easy way of getting out. It was right out of a horror movie, and I just loved it! But then things started to change. As I mentioned, everyone had secrets, things going on in their life they weren't talking about with other people. But those things mattered in regards to the situation they found themselves in, so there would be flashbacks. But they weren't handled very well, in my opinion. The tension would be high, and you're just waiting for something to happen, and then there would be a flashback that lasted several pages. It slowed the pace right down. Once we got back to the present, the tension was gone. It really threw me, having something awful happen without the tension, because what was built dissipated with the flashback. And then there were times in the present when there was a lot of waiting for the next bit. The characters were scared and on edge, but nothing would happen for quite a while, and again, it slowed right down.
When we have the big reveal, I was also disappointed. We were left with too many questions. I never fully understood why they were doing what they were doing. I wish that had been explored further, or if there had been an actual conversation where the antagonist explained themselves, rather than us having a brief explanation. What was the plan? Why were they doing what they were doing? I have a rough idea about then, but it would follow up with another why? What did they expect to get out of it? What was the end goal? It was too brief, and over too quickly for me to understand what was going on. And I don't think the characters really understood either, because they weren't told.
And then on top of that, there were several chapters that followed the reveal, where the survivors had survived, and they were just very samey. They're finally honest about what's going on with them, and they have the others say they're there for them and will support and help them however they can, basically. And it was just too earnest; it was really sickly sweet, and had a similar vibe as when books are quite preachy. There were several chapters of this once the antagonist was dealt with, of just these conversations, before it ended. Again, it slowed things right down, and you see you still have a fair few pages left, and are wondering what could possibly happen next, is there another twist? No, just the characters talking. I am not saying you can't have a thriller where the characters are dealing with other things. Of course not. I mean, it's integral to most thrillers, having the antagonist knowing the others' secrets. But it just didn't work here. They weren't woven into the story well enough, and started to feel like two separate stories being told at once. Honestly, I started to lose interest in what was going on with them, because it was so frustrating constantly being thrown out of the thriller.
There was a lot of representation in this book, though, that I really appreciated, and thought was done really well - though I am privileged in most cases, so can't comment on accuracy. Finn is trans and disabled, and uses crutches; Maddy is autistic and bisexual, and has chronic pain; Ever is non-binary; and Carter is bisexual. Nijkamp is non-binary, queer, autistic and disabled herself, so a lot of the rep is #OwnVoices. I also really liked how Even If We Break kind of battled stereotypes within the thriller narrative. Finn being disabled means he's slower than everyone else, and with her autism, Maddy has several panic attacks due to being overwhelmed on all fronts and struggling to cope with the situation. Easy pickings, right? Wrong. They weren't weak characters because of their disability or autism; they weren't a non-issue, but they didn't stop them. They still fought, they still tried to get out, and never at any point did the others leave them behind. I really loved it.
But I was pretty disappointed with the story overall, which is a shame, because I loved Nijkamp's This is Where it Ends and Before I Let Go. This one just didn't work for me, sadly.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Animal cruelty, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, and Addiction
Minor: Blood and Car accident
This book features broken bones, poverty, references to an off-page physical transphobic attack, addiction to prescribed medication, and finger dismemberment.longlost's review
dark
mysterious
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
wow the villain of this book is a real piece of shit huh
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Classism, Death, Gore, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Stalking, Toxic friendship, Violence, Ableism, Blood, and Confinement
Moderate: Ableism, Addiction, Car accident, Drug abuse, Drug use, Suicidal thoughts, and Grief
Minor: Transphobia
puttingwingsonwords's review
dark
emotional
reflective
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Blood, Confinement, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Murder, Violence, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Bullying, Ableism, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, and Transphobia
Minor: Animal death and Animal cruelty
baponthecob's review
dark
hopeful
mysterious
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I really wasn't connected to the friend group as a whole, but as individuals, Ever was my favorite and I related the most to Maddy. I really did not care about Carter at all, and I hated Liva with a passion. Her head was so far up her own ass that she could probably taste her breakfast. I understand that she was conditioned to be that way by her parents, but at some point she is responsible for her own actions, especially when her friends wanted to help. Finn was done so dirty by her. I got tired of her classism and ableism so quick. Also transphobia??? Really out of left field. Like she is a cis straight rich white girl out here belittling her queer, trans, and disabled friends who are not as well off 😟 and then had the audacity to say she still cared about them 😟 and that they made her do what she did bc they tried to be more than they should 😟 please get some help
And after all that, we've got Ever still feeling bad. They have so much compassion for everyone else and I love them for it, but they really need to care about themself too :( and that's where the book takes us at the end. Freshly realized morals, taking one step at a time, all that cheesy shit.
Overall, I liked how this book discussed friendship and how some things may not last. The main message at the end was a little bittersweet but still hopeful. But it was just VERY in-your-face, which really took me out of the story.
And after all that, we've got Ever still feeling bad. They have so much compassion for everyone else and I love them for it, but they really need to care about themself too :( and that's where the book takes us at the end. Freshly realized morals, taking one step at a time, all that cheesy shit.
Overall, I liked how this book discussed friendship and how some things may not last. The main message at the end was a little bittersweet but still hopeful. But it was just VERY in-your-face, which really took me out of the story.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Blood, Drug abuse, Murder, Panic attacks/disorders, and Violence
Moderate: Car accident, Chronic illness, Ableism, Fire/Fire injury, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic friendship
Minor: Hate crime, Self harm, and Transphobia
piperlee's review against another edition
dark
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Okay this book has one good thing going for it and that’s the representation among the 5 main characters:
Finn is trans and lives with a disability that impacts his mobility & causes him chronic pain
Ever is non-binary and their family lives in poverty
Maddy is autistic (and I think bisexual) and also deals with chronic pain as a result of an accident
Carter and Liva both come from rich families & it’s hinted that Carter is bisexual.
& I love that this is an OwnVoices novel - the author is also autistic, disabled and non-binary.
Other than that, this book was really disappointing. The story felt weighed down by the frequent jumping into the past or the characters’ subconscious thoughts - I found myself skimming most of what probably could have been great character development had it been formatted differently. Because of this, a lot of the suspense was dampened. Also the villain revealed at the end just didn’t make sense?? And then the ending felt too romanticized and unrealistic when it came to the responses characters had to the disturbing events?
To be fair, I read to end because I wanted to know what was going on & I cared about the characters. And I’m freaked out by everything that happened! But overall this book fell flat for me.
Finn is trans and lives with a disability that impacts his mobility & causes him chronic pain
Ever is non-binary and their family lives in poverty
Maddy is autistic (and I think bisexual) and also deals with chronic pain as a result of an accident
Carter and Liva both come from rich families & it’s hinted that Carter is bisexual.
& I love that this is an OwnVoices novel - the author is also autistic, disabled and non-binary.
Other than that, this book was really disappointing. The story felt weighed down by the frequent jumping into the past or the characters’ subconscious thoughts - I found myself skimming most of what probably could have been great character development had it been formatted differently. Because of this, a lot of the suspense was dampened. Also the villain revealed at the end just didn’t make sense?? And then the ending felt too romanticized and unrealistic when it came to the responses characters had to the disturbing events?
To be fair, I read to end because I wanted to know what was going on & I cared about the characters. And I’m freaked out by everything that happened! But overall this book fell flat for me.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Death, Gore, Murder, and Violence
Moderate: Addiction and Drug abuse
Minor: Ableism, Car accident, Transphobia, Confinement, Grief, and Suicidal thoughts
nyoom's review
dark
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
0.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Addiction, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Blood, Body shaming, Bullying, Car accident, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Confinement, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Gore, Grief, Hate crime, Kidnapping, Medical content, Mental illness, Murder, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic friendship, Transphobia, and Violence
Moderate: Medical trauma and Toxic relationship
Minor: Colonisation
drp_moonlight's review
adventurous
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I can't begin to say how underwhelming it was. The book markets itself as a thriller but the actual action is far too often put aside for teen drama and angst that tried to pass as character development but only served to drag the story to a complete halt. The villain was incredibly predictable and not even interesting at that. Still rated 3 stars because it was a quick read and entertaining enough.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Ableism, Blood, Bullying, Car accident, Death, Drug abuse, Hate crime, Murder, Transphobia, and Chronic illness
Minor: Animal death and Suicidal thoughts
plumpaperbacks's review
dark
medium-paced
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
I added Even If We Break to my tbr on impulse because it sounded intriguing. Unfortunately, I only liked three of the five leads, and I wasn’t really invested in the story. Not only am I hardly interested in roleplaying, but it was also quite easy, in my opinion, to guess who the antagonist was. By the time I was halfway done, I had two predictions, and one of them ended up being correct. If I’m being honest, it was disappointing. Said antagonist didn’t have a good reason for any of their actions.
I nearly gave the book two stars, but bumped it up by half because I did end up really liking Ever, Finn, and Maddy. Their friendship was sweet and genuine, and Ever and Finn’s budding romance was super cute.
Ultimately, I’m not sure I’d recommend this, and I’m not sure Nijkamp’s work is my cup of tea. Thrillers really are hit or miss.
Representation
I nearly gave the book two stars, but bumped it up by half because I did end up really liking Ever, Finn, and Maddy. Their friendship was sweet and genuine, and Ever and Finn’s budding romance was super cute.
Ultimately, I’m not sure I’d recommend this, and I’m not sure Nijkamp’s work is my cup of tea. Thrillers really are hit or miss.
Representation
- trans bisexual protagonist that uses they/them pronouns
- trans protagonist that uses he/him pronouns
- autistic bisexual protagonist with chronic pain
- bisexual protagonist
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Gore, Blood, Ableism, Addiction, Drug abuse, Death, Mental illness, Chronic illness, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Body shaming, Violence, and Transphobia
Minor: Physical abuse and Self harm