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snikkidee's review against another edition
3.0
I’m trying to get a bit more in touch with my spiritual side. There’s a part in this book when he talks about hurting someone else and not caring about it because it’s in somebody else’s world. What? We should throw out love all over, but we shouldn’t care about other people’s feelings? Other parts were things I needed to hear. I definitely make lots of assumptions and think very poorly about myself. I’m probably just not the target audience for this.
deanom1998's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
crickedcactus's review against another edition
1.0
this book was written by a narcissistic person
When I got to the Don't let anything affect you personally, oh boy... apparently you can be mean to someone and if they feel offended it's their fault for letting their wounds affect them. Not the offender's responsibility whether their words hurt you, it's your fault for letting them hurt you. Excuse mee??? He even goes on saying
"if someone says to me" why are you saying those things, Miguel, they hurt me" i don't take it personally because I know they have unhealed wounds and that's why they are feeling that way"
aka he takes no responsibility of how his words make other people feel and tries to make us believe that this is a good thing??
Another bit that I didn't like is the "You should never look for acceptance" and I get where it is coming from, but I don't think the NEVER should be there. We humans are social being and we feel the need to be part of a group. It is totally natural and healthy to want to be part of a group and feel hurt when your expectations aren't met. That group could be friends, family or even your partner! It's one thing to not let the need of acceptance cloud your actions, and a very different thing to say having the need to feel accepted is to be avoided.
Oh yeah and I though it was bullshit when it talks about how you should never do something if you're only looking for the reward. That you should "Learn to love" what you do so you aren't waiting for the reward. The book gives WORK as an example. I'm sorry but there are so many people out there that do not have the choice of working in a field that fulfills them. It's ok to do something just for the reward of it. If I was starving and had to resort to kill an animal to feed myself I would do it, even though I'd hate it, because I would want to survive. And i wouldnt want to "learn to love" killing it.
The next point I want to talk about is how awful the book treats negative emotions. It says over and over again that you should avoid them, repress them, he even compares them a sickness. Anyone that has any degree of emotional intelligence can tell you that there is not such thing as good or bad emotions, and that you definitely should NEVER repress them. Instead, you should try to understand why you feel them and try to not let them take control over you. The book doesn't mention any coping mechanisms, its only strategy is to "stop feeling them". Imagine a clinically depressed person reads this book, this is just horrible advice!
The last of the agreements is "do your best" and the justification for it is that if you do your best, then you don't have to blame yourself if things go wrong because you did your best. You shouldn't feel bad. Instead, you should accept yourself and your imperfections and only through this you will find peace.
What about learning or improving? How about personal growth?You will make mistakes even when you're doing your best and i think that's ok, but the book never mentions even once that you should try to improve, it just uses it as an excuse to not take responsibility and be able to be at peace with yourself. Noone is perfect but just cause noone is perfect it doesn't mean that we cannot strive to be better.
Finally, there was another bit I didn't like, although at that stage I was not reading full paragraphs because I was so fed up with the book. There is a part towards the end where he says the following "The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer". Again, just imagine a clinically depressed person reading this book, what the hell!!
TLDR: Bad life advice, also badly written, would not recommend.
When I got to the Don't let anything affect you personally, oh boy... apparently you can be mean to someone and if they feel offended it's their fault for letting their wounds affect them. Not the offender's responsibility whether their words hurt you, it's your fault for letting them hurt you. Excuse mee??? He even goes on saying
"if someone says to me" why are you saying those things, Miguel, they hurt me" i don't take it personally because I know they have unhealed wounds and that's why they are feeling that way"
aka he takes no responsibility of how his words make other people feel and tries to make us believe that this is a good thing??
Another bit that I didn't like is the "You should never look for acceptance" and I get where it is coming from, but I don't think the NEVER should be there. We humans are social being and we feel the need to be part of a group. It is totally natural and healthy to want to be part of a group and feel hurt when your expectations aren't met. That group could be friends, family or even your partner! It's one thing to not let the need of acceptance cloud your actions, and a very different thing to say having the need to feel accepted is to be avoided.
Oh yeah and I though it was bullshit when it talks about how you should never do something if you're only looking for the reward. That you should "Learn to love" what you do so you aren't waiting for the reward. The book gives WORK as an example. I'm sorry but there are so many people out there that do not have the choice of working in a field that fulfills them. It's ok to do something just for the reward of it. If I was starving and had to resort to kill an animal to feed myself I would do it, even though I'd hate it, because I would want to survive. And i wouldnt want to "learn to love" killing it.
The next point I want to talk about is how awful the book treats negative emotions. It says over and over again that you should avoid them, repress them, he even compares them a sickness. Anyone that has any degree of emotional intelligence can tell you that there is not such thing as good or bad emotions, and that you definitely should NEVER repress them. Instead, you should try to understand why you feel them and try to not let them take control over you. The book doesn't mention any coping mechanisms, its only strategy is to "stop feeling them". Imagine a clinically depressed person reads this book, this is just horrible advice!
The last of the agreements is "do your best" and the justification for it is that if you do your best, then you don't have to blame yourself if things go wrong because you did your best. You shouldn't feel bad. Instead, you should accept yourself and your imperfections and only through this you will find peace.
What about learning or improving? How about personal growth?You will make mistakes even when you're doing your best and i think that's ok, but the book never mentions even once that you should try to improve, it just uses it as an excuse to not take responsibility and be able to be at peace with yourself. Noone is perfect but just cause noone is perfect it doesn't mean that we cannot strive to be better.
Finally, there was another bit I didn't like, although at that stage I was not reading full paragraphs because I was so fed up with the book. There is a part towards the end where he says the following "The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer". Again, just imagine a clinically depressed person reading this book, what the hell!!
TLDR: Bad life advice, also badly written, would not recommend.
http_wand3rl_st's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
2.0
This book had been on my wishlist for several years… I was quite excited to finally read it.
Unfortunately, it seems to recycle many basic principles of psychology, philosophy and transform them into extremely vague concepts under new terminology. I consider myself an open minded person and thought I would thoroughly enjoy this read and take a lot from it, but quite frankly I had experienced several moments where I thought “this is utter bullshit” and wanted to put it down.
If you struggle with OCD, CPTSD, or Mania I would highly suggest steering clear of this book for guidance. There is a section that suggests the power of words are so strong that they alone can manifest cancer. A harmful trope for some.
[Spoiler] I also found it to be quite ironic that the book starts out explaining in depth that our entire perception of the world is only a personal bias (a dream) provided to us by those in our life and the content we absorb (i.e that none of the ideas we have are our own) then continues on to lay out this specific course of action that people should take for reason x,y,z.
I also found that for a book that suggests we do not make assumptions about people, the writer sure makes many assumptions of his own.
This book may be helpful for some but to me reminded me of CBT practices where you are essentially urged to gaslight yourself into positive thinking.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t for me.
kiraburova's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
2.0
I can see how somebody could see this as an eye-opening book, it has great ideas.
But it repeats the same thoughts over and over again. It could have been an article.
But it repeats the same thoughts over and over again. It could have been an article.
balladam's review against another edition
3.0
A nice book with a great message and ideas but it’s overwritten and over explained.