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1.0 AVERAGE
1.0 AVERAGE
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
got like 5% into it and it was just bad, and the author is a piece of shit so
I received a free review copy of this book to write a honest review.
When it comes to self-pubs the reader tends to expect less, but the author boasted online about spending thousands of dollars on editing, so just to tell you: it's a lie.
The book is very poorly edited and formatted. There's a great redundancy of dialogue tags to a ridiculous level. For example internal thoughts would be both in italics and have a tag "he asked himself". Dialogue will be attributed with adverbs that are unnecessary because the dialogue line already indicates that emotion. Chapter breaks are not properly formatted. Prologue is not properly separated from the rest of the story. The quotation marks and dashes aren't formatted properly. The text isn't properly adjusted to both sides. The characters' actions and emotions are comically exaggerated or overly melodramatic.
Author also has an affinity to pricing the book at 9+ dollars which is completely not worth it for 300-something pages of writing at a level you can read for free on Royal Road, Wattpad or other websites. It looks like something a 15-year-old would write, and if that's your thing, there's plenty of free samples online, no need to waste 10 bucks.
When it comes to self-pubs the reader tends to expect less, but the author boasted online about spending thousands of dollars on editing, so just to tell you: it's a lie.
The book is very poorly edited and formatted. There's a great redundancy of dialogue tags to a ridiculous level. For example internal thoughts would be both in italics and have a tag "he asked himself". Dialogue will be attributed with adverbs that are unnecessary because the dialogue line already indicates that emotion. Chapter breaks are not properly formatted. Prologue is not properly separated from the rest of the story. The quotation marks and dashes aren't formatted properly. The text isn't properly adjusted to both sides. The characters' actions and emotions are comically exaggerated or overly melodramatic.
Author also has an affinity to pricing the book at 9+ dollars which is completely not worth it for 300-something pages of writing at a level you can read for free on Royal Road, Wattpad or other websites. It looks like something a 15-year-old would write, and if that's your thing, there's plenty of free samples online, no need to waste 10 bucks.
As someone who's trying to make a career in being an author, it has occurred to me that my works will be put out there for people to read and review and share all of their thoughts about, good or bad. I have heard many stories about authors who get snippy with readers and reviewers, usually because they wrote a review or said something about their books that they didn't like. I remember meeting a comic book creator at a local con some years ago and I asked if they read reviews of their work, and they said no. I am considering doing the same.
JM Arlen is yet another on a list of authors that I don't plan to read anytime soon. Rather it be for his infamous reputation for being prickly about reviews, him cracking cringe inducing pussy jokes on Twitter, insulting readers who don't like his books, or his complete disrespect for the craft of writing. I only read bits of this book and I was fucking astounded by the lack of awareness and skill on the page. I usually say that I don't believe that anyone can write a one star book, but the parts of this book that I read are so embarrassing that I would consider giving this book 1 star if I still did starred reviews.
Then this guy has the audacity to ask readers to thank him for the revelatory experience that is The Crystal Keepers. I am sorry, you are not JRR Tolkien, or China Mieville, or Marlon James. If someone like this is self-absorbed enough to demand readers' thanks means that this is probably not going to be an interesting book to read.
Hopefully he doesn't start making bot accounts to start stalking my account, but I'm giving this book a hard pass.
Let us discuss Chapter 1, Rain of Stars.
We encounter a Farmer and a wife talking about the “chill in the air” and how “winter is coming”. Sounds like the author was trying to incorporate a Game of Thrones reference. So, from that, it sounds like the season we are in is Fall. After that we have another line of dialogue “That’s to be expected…”. Now, I am not sure why there is an ellipsis after the word “expected”. However, it does not make sense for it to be used there. We do not have a character, world, or plot description for it to be used as a way to create the “lost in thought” effect. If that is the case, then for me it feels forced and unnecessary because we only have three lines of dialogue.
After that, we start getting world-building. The world-building is rather clunky and awkward.
“The farmer looked out across Talmoria, across his peaceful island. There he could see a valley of tall mountains and snowy peaks, the land carved into sections by toothy rocks and plates stabbing up from the skin of the Earth’s crust. Tall grass and high gorges stretched away before him like a green ocean, jagged and rooted with wild forest and broken boulders”.
Next, we have "This world was etched upon a land that had fallen dark. Stars shone down from a palette of blackness above, swimming in the smoky light of nebulas - clouds of green and blue mist that coiled above like a splash of paint in the sky". The world-building is still clunky. At this point, it feels as though the author wanted to stick the best descriptor words together to fill a word count for his book. I do think to make it better the author needs to sit down and edit all of chapter one. We still do not have a character description for the Farmer and his wife. At this point, I asked myself “why are they even in the story”.
Next, we have the book stating that the Farmer’s view is nothing new to him but the beauty always memorized him. This should have been said somewhere before the ellipsis. That would have created the “lost in thought” effect. Of description, I feel as though it should have been mentioned at the very start of the chapter. After that there is a line that goes like this, “He’d come outside almost every night of his life to see the stars, to watch as his land fell beneath a black blanket in the shadow of the sun, to listen to (insert "the") crickets chirp and wolves howl, to feel the cool wind blow against his tired skin and smell the pine of the woods.”
Please for the love of all that is holy, use periods.
Next, the author puts, “But tonight was different. Tonight seemed odd. The hair on the farmer’s arms stood as stiff as glass, and he felt a prickle behind his neck. Something was in the air, something strange. It wasn’t cold, it wasn’t the changing seasons; it was something real, something the farmer could somehow sense, though he could not know what it was”.
*Sigh*
I am no expert but the writing hurts. Next, the author attempts to describe a meteor shower during the night sky but that description is clunky as well. Guess what, there is still no character description of the two people we have encountered so far. Maybe, chapter 2?
Then we have more grammatical/sentence structure issues for example “There were silver trails, yellow trails, orange, brown, sapphire, crimson, golden, all burning to paint the blackened sky with tens of thousands of different shades”.
After that, the author attempts to describe that scene and the destruction. However, it was clunky (again).
Fast forward: now we have craters caused by the meteor shower. The author said “crater” which I pictured as a decent-sized hole within the Earth’s surface. However, when it comes to the material within that crater it is as small as a fingernail. Like huh? I would expect a “crater” to have much larger material within it than fingernail size. I sat looking at my fingernails and my partners' fingernails to understand this idea. Something is missing.
When it comes to describing this crystal. It is utterly confusing. We get a crystal, amber stone, rock, and Amber crystal that glows. Please make up your mind. Then after that, the Farmer and his wife go up in flames. This answers the issues of lack of character development for them but why do we need a whole chapter for it? Next, we have a 1000-year time jump. Which makes all that descriptive and clunky writing irrelevant to the “new” world and characters.
Now, we have Manie that has black hair that becomes “as dark and blue as a polished sapphire” when she touch/s/ed the stone and Veronica. We do not get a description of them and the writing remains clunky for chapter two. This is my stopping point because this book needs more editing and revision.
I'm back to take a look at the last chunk of Chapter 1 and to start Chapter two, An Unlikely Theif.
End of Chapter 1, we get a king named Mikhail who united Talmoria under one flag. However, he "died at the hands of enemies he fought to erase".
*sigh*
So, I have two opinions on this. One) He is gonna come back to life. 2) It is just filler content.
After that, we meet Manie. She was an infant when she first touched the stone/crystal/rock. This is when she "changes". So... the girl is now growing up but is kept in a tower and needs to solve a terrible disease called Grey Death that killed many. (think of rapunzel during a plague but without the long hair). Honestly, sounds like the author is trying to incorporate events from history (i.e., the bubonic plague aka black death) and change the name to be "original". We get other characters that have no importance in the story and a girl named Veronica. End Chapter 1.
Chapter 2:
Veronica climbs up Manie's tower with a rope (YET, still no character building. Also, where is the world-building for this new world?). Once again, please incorporate more periods into your long sentences. "Veronica pulled on the window until one side was completely open. She quickly saw her target: Manie, asleep in her canopy bed, tucked beneath red blankets, and she was holding the necklace rather than wearing it". Once again there is more clunky writing.
Side note: I got to give some credit to the author. At least the paragraphs are not more than 6 lines. Anyway, let us get back on topic.
The girls are fighting over the crystal in the tower and they know one another. When was this established?
Fast Run down: We have a Manie trapped in a tower for the majority of her childhood. Then Veronica climbs up the tower to take the crystal while Manie is asleep. She is sleeping and then wakes up to see Veronica with her crystal and all of a sudden Manie knows the name of Veronica.? Ohhh Kayyyy then. Finally, we get some info about how the girls know one another. Their friends y'all.
I will continue later. However, we still have clunky writing.
We encounter a Farmer and a wife talking about the “chill in the air” and how “winter is coming”. Sounds like the author was trying to incorporate a Game of Thrones reference. So, from that, it sounds like the season we are in is Fall. After that we have another line of dialogue “That’s to be expected…”. Now, I am not sure why there is an ellipsis after the word “expected”. However, it does not make sense for it to be used there. We do not have a character, world, or plot description for it to be used as a way to create the “lost in thought” effect. If that is the case, then for me it feels forced and unnecessary because we only have three lines of dialogue.
After that, we start getting world-building. The world-building is rather clunky and awkward.
“The farmer looked out across Talmoria, across his peaceful island. There he could see a valley of tall mountains and snowy peaks, the land carved into sections by toothy rocks and plates stabbing up from the skin of the Earth’s crust. Tall grass and high gorges stretched away before him like a green ocean, jagged and rooted with wild forest and broken boulders”.
Next, we have "This world was etched upon a land that had fallen dark. Stars shone down from a palette of blackness above, swimming in the smoky light of nebulas - clouds of green and blue mist that coiled above like a splash of paint in the sky". The world-building is still clunky. At this point, it feels as though the author wanted to stick the best descriptor words together to fill a word count for his book. I do think to make it better the author needs to sit down and edit all of chapter one. We still do not have a character description for the Farmer and his wife. At this point, I asked myself “why are they even in the story”.
Next, we have the book stating that the Farmer’s view is nothing new to him but the beauty always memorized him. This should have been said somewhere before the ellipsis. That would have created the “lost in thought” effect. Of description, I feel as though it should have been mentioned at the very start of the chapter. After that there is a line that goes like this, “He’d come outside almost every night of his life to see the stars, to watch as his land fell beneath a black blanket in the shadow of the sun, to listen to (insert "the") crickets chirp and wolves howl, to feel the cool wind blow against his tired skin and smell the pine of the woods.”
Please for the love of all that is holy, use periods.
Next, the author puts, “But tonight was different. Tonight seemed odd. The hair on the farmer’s arms stood as stiff as glass, and he felt a prickle behind his neck. Something was in the air, something strange. It wasn’t cold, it wasn’t the changing seasons; it was something real, something the farmer could somehow sense, though he could not know what it was”.
*Sigh*
I am no expert but the writing hurts. Next, the author attempts to describe a meteor shower during the night sky but that description is clunky as well. Guess what, there is still no character description of the two people we have encountered so far. Maybe, chapter 2?
Then we have more grammatical/sentence structure issues for example “There were silver trails, yellow trails, orange, brown, sapphire, crimson, golden, all burning to paint the blackened sky with tens of thousands of different shades”.
After that, the author attempts to describe that scene and the destruction. However, it was clunky (again).
Fast forward: now we have craters caused by the meteor shower. The author said “crater” which I pictured as a decent-sized hole within the Earth’s surface. However, when it comes to the material within that crater it is as small as a fingernail. Like huh? I would expect a “crater” to have much larger material within it than fingernail size. I sat looking at my fingernails and my partners' fingernails to understand this idea. Something is missing.
When it comes to describing this crystal. It is utterly confusing. We get a crystal, amber stone, rock, and Amber crystal that glows. Please make up your mind. Then after that, the Farmer and his wife go up in flames. This answers the issues of lack of character development for them but why do we need a whole chapter for it? Next, we have a 1000-year time jump. Which makes all that descriptive and clunky writing irrelevant to the “new” world and characters.
Now, we have Manie that has black hair that becomes “as dark and blue as a polished sapphire” when she touch/s/ed the stone and Veronica. We do not get a description of them and the writing remains clunky for chapter two. This is my stopping point because this book needs more editing and revision.
I'm back to take a look at the last chunk of Chapter 1 and to start Chapter two, An Unlikely Theif.
End of Chapter 1, we get a king named Mikhail who united Talmoria under one flag. However, he "died at the hands of enemies he fought to erase".
*sigh*
So, I have two opinions on this. One) He is gonna come back to life. 2) It is just filler content.
After that, we meet Manie. She was an infant when she first touched the stone/crystal/rock. This is when she "changes". So... the girl is now growing up but is kept in a tower and needs to solve a terrible disease called Grey Death that killed many. (think of rapunzel during a plague but without the long hair). Honestly, sounds like the author is trying to incorporate events from history (i.e., the bubonic plague aka black death) and change the name to be "original". We get other characters that have no importance in the story and a girl named Veronica. End Chapter 1.
Chapter 2:
Veronica climbs up Manie's tower with a rope (YET, still no character building. Also, where is the world-building for this new world?). Once again, please incorporate more periods into your long sentences. "Veronica pulled on the window until one side was completely open. She quickly saw her target: Manie, asleep in her canopy bed, tucked beneath red blankets, and she was holding the necklace rather than wearing it". Once again there is more clunky writing.
Side note: I got to give some credit to the author. At least the paragraphs are not more than 6 lines. Anyway, let us get back on topic.
The girls are fighting over the crystal in the tower and they know one another. When was this established?
Fast Run down: We have a Manie trapped in a tower for the majority of her childhood. Then Veronica climbs up the tower to take the crystal while Manie is asleep. She is sleeping and then wakes up to see Veronica with her crystal and all of a sudden Manie knows the name of Veronica.? Ohhh Kayyyy then. Finally, we get some info about how the girls know one another. Their friends y'all.
I will continue later. However, we still have clunky writing.
No good and the author’s behavior just adds to it. My review was taken down (probably because the author reported it), so that’s gross
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
N/A
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
This review is based COMPLETELY on the book itself and nothing else
Mmm okay. That action shows me that reviewers can not provide honest reviews.
The Crystal Keepers still needs an editor to fix all the issues within the book.
In Chapter 1, Rain of Stars, the first issue that I came across is the usage of an ellipsis after the word "expected". I do not understand why it is used because an ellipsis is used when there is an omission from speech or writing of a word or words that are superfluous or able to be understood from contextual clues. However, if one reads the first chapter the usage of the ellipsis is wrong. Now, one would assume that it's used to create an extended pause before the Farmer speaks again to create the "lost in thought" feel but we do not have enough contextual clues.
It feels unnecessary and forced due to there are only three lines of conversation. before the ellipsis.
Another issue I have is this quote
The world-building so far that has happened is 100% clunky and harsh to read. However, it is not bad, but not good. One does not know how to feel yet because it is only the start of the book.
Another example to show you what I mean. The quote
Rough.
The other issue that I have throughout this whole book is the repetition of words. For example, the words air, wind, blue, and other colors of the rainbow are overused. Now, sometimes the reader does get a different description word but that too gets overused and/or intertwined with the past descriptor words.
When it comes to the description of Characters some aspects make sense but other aspects do not. However, the reader will experience loads of simple grammatical issues that should have been addressed before being given the "okay".
I did a full review on my blog account because I knew... That review that I did back in 2023 took me 7 days to do because it was in-depth and most of it was talking about the grammatical, spelling, syntax, plot, and character issues. When I say there is a lot, I mean there is a lot.
Anyway, like I said in the original review this is not a book but there are also major issues within the book that hinder the potential of this book.The idea is good but the way it was handled ruins it.
Spoiler
So, I provided a critical review and it gets removed?Mmm okay. That action shows me that reviewers can not provide honest reviews.
The Crystal Keepers still needs an editor to fix all the issues within the book.
In Chapter 1, Rain of Stars, the first issue that I came across is the usage of an ellipsis after the word "expected". I do not understand why it is used because an ellipsis is used when there is an omission from speech or writing of a word or words that are superfluous or able to be understood from contextual clues. However, if one reads the first chapter the usage of the ellipsis is wrong. Now, one would assume that it's used to create an extended pause before the Farmer speaks again to create the "lost in thought" feel but we do not have enough contextual clues.
It feels unnecessary and forced due to there are only three lines of conversation. before the ellipsis.
Another issue I have is this quote
"he could see a valley of tall mountains and snowy peaks, the land carved into sections by toothy rocks and plates stabbing up from the skin of the Earth’s crust"but... I will digress here.
"This world was etched upon a land that had fallen dark. Stars shone down from a palette of blackness above, swimming in the smoky light of nebulas - clouds of green and blue mist that coiled above like a splash of paint in the sky".
The world-building so far that has happened is 100% clunky and harsh to read. However, it is not bad, but not good. One does not know how to feel yet because it is only the start of the book.
Another example to show you what I mean. The quote
"to listen to crickets chirp..."needs to be reworded because there is something about it that is just...
Rough.
The other issue that I have throughout this whole book is the repetition of words. For example, the words air, wind, blue, and other colors of the rainbow are overused. Now, sometimes the reader does get a different description word but that too gets overused and/or intertwined with the past descriptor words.
When it comes to the description of Characters some aspects make sense but other aspects do not. However, the reader will experience loads of simple grammatical issues that should have been addressed before being given the "okay".
I did a full review on my blog account because I knew... That review that I did back in 2023 took me 7 days to do because it was in-depth and most of it was talking about the grammatical, spelling, syntax, plot, and character issues. When I say there is a lot, I mean there is a lot.
Anyway, like I said in the original review this is not a book but there are also major issues within the book that hinder the potential of this book.The idea is good but the way it was handled ruins it.