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brgntteva's review against another edition
4.0
“Not doing something because one will feel guilty if one does it is not necessarily a good reason not to do it. Morality born out of intimidation is immoral.”
You might take this statement as obvious, underestimate it, but think about what it takes for a sister to stop endlessly helping her addict brother, what it takes from a daughter to slowly build a distance from her highly toxic mother to try and live, what it takes from a father to stop giving money to his addict son, think about them and realise what the cost of guilt is.
Mayhem by Sigrid Rausig is about her brother and sister-in-law addiction, but it’s so much more. She manages to open the discussion up on much more than her personal experience. She talks about drug culture, drug addictions, family, about the consequences of addiction to a family, she talks about genes or environment, about words themselves, about limits, silence and secrets. Deeply emotional read that’ll stick with me for a long while.
You might take this statement as obvious, underestimate it, but think about what it takes for a sister to stop endlessly helping her addict brother, what it takes from a daughter to slowly build a distance from her highly toxic mother to try and live, what it takes from a father to stop giving money to his addict son, think about them and realise what the cost of guilt is.
Mayhem by Sigrid Rausig is about her brother and sister-in-law addiction, but it’s so much more. She manages to open the discussion up on much more than her personal experience. She talks about drug culture, drug addictions, family, about the consequences of addiction to a family, she talks about genes or environment, about words themselves, about limits, silence and secrets. Deeply emotional read that’ll stick with me for a long while.
halfmanhalfbook's review against another edition
4.0
It read like a storyline from the latest thriller. In a £70 million pound mansion in the plushest part of London, in a drug den sealed with duct tape, human remains were found covered by a tarpaulin and a couple of flat screen TVs. The staff were told not to enter the room and with the discretion that the ultra-rich demand, none thought to question the reason why, nor disobey. This wasn't a bestseller though; it was real life. The remains were the body of Eva Rausing, wife of Hans Kristian Rausing, heir to the multi-billion Tetra Pak fortune. The couple had long been addicted to Class A drugs and had often been in the newspapers with the journeys in and out of rehab. Her death of a heart problem had not been ignored by Hans, but his drug-addled state caused him to take actions that a person in normal circumstances would not have done.
Watching Hans and his Eva's lives implode was Han's sister, the editor and publisher Sigrid Rausing. She hadn't really paid attention when he first had become addicted to drugs in his twenties but saw them both relapse after being married for seven happy years. As the drug use spiralled out of control again they drifted in and out of rehab, she took to writing persuasive letters and emails trying to help them with the predicaments. This supportive help failed, but after taking advice she became the legal custodian of their four children, something that Eva strongly objected to claiming that Sigrid wanted the extra children for herself, something that she rebuts in the book.
It is a very personal and open memoir, with stories of her childhood growing up in Sweden and the small pleasures of life that she recalls in snippets. The core theme of the book though is addiction, and how an individual can become so absorbed that the neglect friends, family and themselves. She asks the question how do you help someone with an addiction? Especially if they really don't want to be helped at all, how the twelve step process does work, but after someone has relapsed and entered rehab again, it is easy to repeat the things that those running the centres want to hear, with no real commitment to their meaning or purpose. There are deeper questions too about where the line is where someone is knowing what they are doing and the point where that stops because of the addiction and mental capacity.
It is not an easy read subject wise, thankfully Rausing's sparse but beautiful writing helps makes this an essential read. She is brutally honest about her own life and the failures in helping Hans and Eva, but also now understands the limits of what she could actually do at the time. She doesn't and cannot provide the answers of where to go to get the help that people need, but does highlight how little is understood about addiction and how society can tackle the pain and anguish it causes.
Watching Hans and his Eva's lives implode was Han's sister, the editor and publisher Sigrid Rausing. She hadn't really paid attention when he first had become addicted to drugs in his twenties but saw them both relapse after being married for seven happy years. As the drug use spiralled out of control again they drifted in and out of rehab, she took to writing persuasive letters and emails trying to help them with the predicaments. This supportive help failed, but after taking advice she became the legal custodian of their four children, something that Eva strongly objected to claiming that Sigrid wanted the extra children for herself, something that she rebuts in the book.
It is a very personal and open memoir, with stories of her childhood growing up in Sweden and the small pleasures of life that she recalls in snippets. The core theme of the book though is addiction, and how an individual can become so absorbed that the neglect friends, family and themselves. She asks the question how do you help someone with an addiction? Especially if they really don't want to be helped at all, how the twelve step process does work, but after someone has relapsed and entered rehab again, it is easy to repeat the things that those running the centres want to hear, with no real commitment to their meaning or purpose. There are deeper questions too about where the line is where someone is knowing what they are doing and the point where that stops because of the addiction and mental capacity.
It is not an easy read subject wise, thankfully Rausing's sparse but beautiful writing helps makes this an essential read. She is brutally honest about her own life and the failures in helping Hans and Eva, but also now understands the limits of what she could actually do at the time. She doesn't and cannot provide the answers of where to go to get the help that people need, but does highlight how little is understood about addiction and how society can tackle the pain and anguish it causes.
alexandramilne's review against another edition
3.0
Read my other book reviews at booksibled.wordpress.com
There was something incredibly odd about reading this book. I picked it up on a journey home from work and read for the whole 45 minutes and I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I read at home, on my sofa, for an hour or so. Nope, still nothing.
I read on the train back to work the next day and this time I was so sure that something was up that I googled the book as soon as I got into work.
I remember the case.
In July 2012, Hans Kristan Rausing was caught speeding in London and found to be high. When police went to his home they found his wife’s body, concealed under a tarpaulin in their bedroom almost three months after her death, the room sealed with duct tape.
The pair were rich and known to be drug users, so much so that their children had been removed from their care by their family. They were codependent and flitted in and out of rehab, normal life and drug use. The case was shocking but it was wrapped up quickly. Eva Rausing died of a cardiac arrest after taking drugs. Hans found her and, perhaps unable to cope, threw the tarp over her and left the room.
Mayhem is the story of Hans and Eva told through the eyes of Hans’ sister Sigrid who saw the whole situation unfurl and eventually became joint custodian of their children. Sigrid is a thoughtful narrator who weaves early memories of life as children and the later memories of the family’s struggles with Hans’ drug habit. She is sympathetic to both her bother and his late wife despite their occasional attacks on her and their family. (Including, at one point, Eva accusing their father of murder.)
She tries to focus on the what may have lead to the death of Eva and if more could have been done and this gives a fascinating insight into the constant struggle of being a family member of someone with an addiction or disorder and trying desperately to help them in the best way. It was, occasionally, gut wrenching to read and the inevitable end became so much less of a horrific show as it had felt when it hit the papers in 2012.
If I was to give a criticism of this book then I think it could be argued to be an understandable one. I often felt like Sigrid was trying, sometimes desperately, to prove that they tried to help. That they were swimming blind with no idea what more they could do and that they couldn’t have done any more. This wasn’t necessary to me. I never, for one second, saw any of this to have been the fault of the family. Addiction is an illness and our current treatments aren’t always enough. We don’t understand it as well other illnesses and people can function so well without help that sometimes we don’t know until it is too late.
P.S. A haunting book covering the events leading up to the accidental death of Eva Rausing and the hiding of her body in a flat in a well off area of London. The narrative has a dream like quality as it flows between childhood memories, Eva and her husband’s issues with addiction and the present day. Clearly a product of a grieving family still coming to terms with the loss and publicity that came with such a public family breakdown.
There was something incredibly odd about reading this book. I picked it up on a journey home from work and read for the whole 45 minutes and I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I read at home, on my sofa, for an hour or so. Nope, still nothing.
I read on the train back to work the next day and this time I was so sure that something was up that I googled the book as soon as I got into work.
I remember the case.
In July 2012, Hans Kristan Rausing was caught speeding in London and found to be high. When police went to his home they found his wife’s body, concealed under a tarpaulin in their bedroom almost three months after her death, the room sealed with duct tape.
The pair were rich and known to be drug users, so much so that their children had been removed from their care by their family. They were codependent and flitted in and out of rehab, normal life and drug use. The case was shocking but it was wrapped up quickly. Eva Rausing died of a cardiac arrest after taking drugs. Hans found her and, perhaps unable to cope, threw the tarp over her and left the room.
Mayhem is the story of Hans and Eva told through the eyes of Hans’ sister Sigrid who saw the whole situation unfurl and eventually became joint custodian of their children. Sigrid is a thoughtful narrator who weaves early memories of life as children and the later memories of the family’s struggles with Hans’ drug habit. She is sympathetic to both her bother and his late wife despite their occasional attacks on her and their family. (Including, at one point, Eva accusing their father of murder.)
She tries to focus on the what may have lead to the death of Eva and if more could have been done and this gives a fascinating insight into the constant struggle of being a family member of someone with an addiction or disorder and trying desperately to help them in the best way. It was, occasionally, gut wrenching to read and the inevitable end became so much less of a horrific show as it had felt when it hit the papers in 2012.
If I was to give a criticism of this book then I think it could be argued to be an understandable one. I often felt like Sigrid was trying, sometimes desperately, to prove that they tried to help. That they were swimming blind with no idea what more they could do and that they couldn’t have done any more. This wasn’t necessary to me. I never, for one second, saw any of this to have been the fault of the family. Addiction is an illness and our current treatments aren’t always enough. We don’t understand it as well other illnesses and people can function so well without help that sometimes we don’t know until it is too late.
P.S. A haunting book covering the events leading up to the accidental death of Eva Rausing and the hiding of her body in a flat in a well off area of London. The narrative has a dream like quality as it flows between childhood memories, Eva and her husband’s issues with addiction and the present day. Clearly a product of a grieving family still coming to terms with the loss and publicity that came with such a public family breakdown.
halfmanhalfbook's review against another edition
4.0
It read like a storyline from the latest thriller. In a £70 million pound mansion in the plushest part of London, in a drug den sealed with duct tape, human remains were found covered by a tarpaulin and a couple of flat screen TVs. The staff were told not to enter the room and with the discretion that the ultra-rich demand, none thought to question the reason why, nor disobey. This wasn't a bestseller though; it was real life. The remains were the body of Eva Rausing, wife of Hans Kristian Rausing, heir to the multi-billion Tetra Pak fortune. The couple had long been addicted to Class A drugs and had often been in the newspapers with the journeys in and out of rehab. Her death of a heart problem had not been ignored by Hans, but his drug-addled state caused him to take actions that a person in normal circumstances would not have done.
Watching Hans and his Eva's lives implode was Han's sister, the editor and publisher Sigrid Rausing. She hadn't really paid attention when he first had become addicted to drugs in his twenties but saw them both relapse after being married for seven happy years. As the drug use spiralled out of control again they drifted in and out of rehab, she took to writing persuasive letters and emails trying to help them with the predicaments. This supportive help failed, but after taking advice she became the legal custodian of their four children, something that Eva strongly objected to claiming that Sigrid wanted the extra children for herself, something that she rebuts in the book.
It is a very personal and open memoir, with stories of her childhood growing up in Sweden and the small pleasures of life that she recalls in snippets. The core theme of the book though is addiction, and how an individual can become so absorbed that the neglect friends, family and themselves. She asks the question how do you help someone with an addiction? Especially if they really don't want to be helped at all, how the twelve step process does work, but after someone has relapsed and entered rehab again, it is easy to repeat the things that those running the centres want to hear, with no real commitment to their meaning or purpose. There are deeper questions too about where the line is where someone is knowing what they are doing and the point where that stops because of the addiction and mental capacity.
It is not an easy read subject wise, thankfully Rausing's sparse but beautiful writing helps makes this an essential read. She is brutally honest about her own life and the failures in helping Hans and Eva, but also now understands the limits of what she could actually do at the time. She doesn't and cannot provide the answers of where to go to get the help that people need, but does highlight how little is understood about addiction and how society can tackle the pain and anguish it causes.
Watching Hans and his Eva's lives implode was Han's sister, the editor and publisher Sigrid Rausing. She hadn't really paid attention when he first had become addicted to drugs in his twenties but saw them both relapse after being married for seven happy years. As the drug use spiralled out of control again they drifted in and out of rehab, she took to writing persuasive letters and emails trying to help them with the predicaments. This supportive help failed, but after taking advice she became the legal custodian of their four children, something that Eva strongly objected to claiming that Sigrid wanted the extra children for herself, something that she rebuts in the book.
It is a very personal and open memoir, with stories of her childhood growing up in Sweden and the small pleasures of life that she recalls in snippets. The core theme of the book though is addiction, and how an individual can become so absorbed that the neglect friends, family and themselves. She asks the question how do you help someone with an addiction? Especially if they really don't want to be helped at all, how the twelve step process does work, but after someone has relapsed and entered rehab again, it is easy to repeat the things that those running the centres want to hear, with no real commitment to their meaning or purpose. There are deeper questions too about where the line is where someone is knowing what they are doing and the point where that stops because of the addiction and mental capacity.
It is not an easy read subject wise, thankfully Rausing's sparse but beautiful writing helps makes this an essential read. She is brutally honest about her own life and the failures in helping Hans and Eva, but also now understands the limits of what she could actually do at the time. She doesn't and cannot provide the answers of where to go to get the help that people need, but does highlight how little is understood about addiction and how society can tackle the pain and anguish it causes.