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2.0 AVERAGE
2.0 AVERAGE
Overview: As a goblin, Gorp struggles to land a decent job. Other races despise his species. But there’s a work at a Ye Olde Dungeon managed by the sinister Dungeon Overlord Jamalin Spellslinger. Fantasy readers tend to associate dungeoneering with exciting exploration, high adventure, and heroics. Very few think about the logistics of maintaining a dungeon and keeping it clean. Brave janitors work backstage to make things shiny. Or, rather, sufficiently dank and gloomy. It’s a job with perspectives; a quick professional advancement is at hand, especially when more experienced cleaning crew has just been eaten by a dragon (dungeon's biggest attraction).
Gorp is a likable protagonist without a clearly defined agenda. Things happen to him but he can find his way around and get out of a jam. He never says what others want to hear, but what is in his heart. The author approaches this story with gentle humor and a distance. As a result, Gorp reads quickly and easily.
That being said, I need to address some issues, namely insufficient editing, weak characterization, and lack of stronger turns and twists. We get a villainous villain who kills his minions whenever he’s in a sour mood, a dragon with an agenda, and a good-hearted protagonist who somehow always lands on top. While it won’t impress seasoned fantasy readers, it has the potential to entertain.
With additional tweaking such as clearing all grammar and spelling errors, and simplifying some awkward sentences, Gorp can become an engaging and enjoyable story for a younger audience
Gorp is a likable protagonist without a clearly defined agenda. Things happen to him but he can find his way around and get out of a jam. He never says what others want to hear, but what is in his heart. The author approaches this story with gentle humor and a distance. As a result, Gorp reads quickly and easily.
That being said, I need to address some issues, namely insufficient editing, weak characterization, and lack of stronger turns and twists. We get a villainous villain who kills his minions whenever he’s in a sour mood, a dragon with an agenda, and a good-hearted protagonist who somehow always lands on top. While it won’t impress seasoned fantasy readers, it has the potential to entertain.
With additional tweaking such as clearing all grammar and spelling errors, and simplifying some awkward sentences, Gorp can become an engaging and enjoyable story for a younger audience
I like the idea of this story and some is well written. However there is one glaring issue that made me struggle. The editing is appalling. It ruins the flow completely. Also, I'm not sure why the paragraphs are staggered the way they are.. filler maybe? And so many short single sentences e.g Something happened. Then they did this. And then this was what came next. And so on and so forth. This is annoying to say the least. It has no rhythm to keep it going and makes what could be an interesting story very boring. I appreciate the attempt but it definitely needs work