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bookishmillennial's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial
Yara is a Palestinian American woman who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, whose parents were immigrants from Palestine, and who is now living in a small city with her husband & two young kids. This novel takes place over about a year in Yara’s life after a great loss, as she navigates depression amidst her occupational and interpersonal struggles as a mom and wife. There are excerpts from Yara’s journal in which she writes letters to her mom, mostly about memories from her childhood, scattered throughout the book, and each gives readers a bit more insight as to how volatile Yara’s childhood had been. Yara struggles to connect with her husband Fadi, and to be present for her daughters Mira and Jude. All the while, she questions herself and why she feels so depleted and empty of fulfillment, when she logically recognizes she has so much more than her parents did at her age. After she calls a colleague racist at work, Yara is strongly encouraged to begin counseling sessions with William, their staff therapist. Through this and through Yara’s own inner examinations, she begins exploring the roots of her pain, anger, and sadness.
Wow wow wow wow I am blown away. This is one of my favorite literary fiction novels EVER. Etaf Rum’s writing of Yara’s journey felt like a deep, quite, aching rumble 😭❤️🩹. This is a character-driven novel and Yara is such a dynamic, authentically human character! Rum fleshed out Yara’s behaviors, thoughts, fears, and motivations so incredibly well. Though I did not have the childhood that Yara had, I felt myself strongly relating to her, and infuriated for her! The way that Rum repeatedly gave us scenes where Yara attempted to mend a broken bridge, or extended an olive branch to her husband Fadi, was masterfully done. Yara desperately tries to ask for what she needs from Fadi, regarding time spent together, travel, emotional support and validation, reflection and examination of their lives and pasts, and something beyond watching tv together every night for an hour or two. It’s so disheartening to see Yara shut down every single time💔
Rum presents every single insidious comeback that people respond with when they gaslight or emotionally manipulate the person who is trying so desperately to be heard, seen, understood, or validated. I wanted to scream, “you’re not hearing her! listen to her! her feelings are valid! stop centering yourself!” but it was no use. I also appreciated that Rum presents a journey away from reconciliation. Sometimes, certain people simply cannot be the partner/friend/etc. you want them to be.
Yara’s relationship with her mother was quite devastating. There is nothing novel about fraught mother-daughter dynamics, but add in the layer of guilt Yara feels about her mother’s upbringing and abusive marriage, and you get a fully stacked complex PTSD sandwich. Yara fully recognizes that her mother would have probably felt grateful for the life Yara leads. It drives her even deeper into the spiral of feeling unworthy and unlovable. However, the way her perception of her mother adjusts over time because of her own personal journey was stunning; the level of empathy, tenderness, and sorrow she held for her mother was staggering and humbling. To find forgiveness is such a gift sometimes.
On the other hand, Yara’s dad was the perfect example of yet another person so stuck in their ways and centering themselves that their refusal to take any accountability only deepened the cuts that were already there. I fully believe you do not owe everyone all of you, and you do not owe everyone forgiveness. Some people need to earn their way back into your life and the way to pave this road is by changed behavior (and a bit of remorse goes a LONG way!).
I am so proud of Yara. She learns to listen to her gut, recognize how her body is feeling around certain people or when she is doing certain things, she makes a friend, she begins to open herself up and become a bit vulnerable, which is so scary! However, by doing this, she also expands her once-isolated world & truly begins to make decisions that she feels good about. So many people recognize that they are simply on autopilot & that their actions have been driven by people-pleasing, guilt, & shame. Not everyone does something about it; it’s no easy feat. Gosh, I loved this book & I’m so moved by Yara’s journey.
please see content warnings below & take care while reading 🫶🏽
Yara is a Palestinian American woman who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, whose parents were immigrants from Palestine, and who is now living in a small city with her husband & two young kids. This novel takes place over about a year in Yara’s life after a great loss, as she navigates depression amidst her occupational and interpersonal struggles as a mom and wife. There are excerpts from Yara’s journal in which she writes letters to her mom, mostly about memories from her childhood, scattered throughout the book, and each gives readers a bit more insight as to how volatile Yara’s childhood had been. Yara struggles to connect with her husband Fadi, and to be present for her daughters Mira and Jude. All the while, she questions herself and why she feels so depleted and empty of fulfillment, when she logically recognizes she has so much more than her parents did at her age. After she calls a colleague racist at work, Yara is strongly encouraged to begin counseling sessions with William, their staff therapist. Through this and through Yara’s own inner examinations, she begins exploring the roots of her pain, anger, and sadness.
Wow wow wow wow I am blown away. This is one of my favorite literary fiction novels EVER. Etaf Rum’s writing of Yara’s journey felt like a deep, quite, aching rumble 😭❤️🩹. This is a character-driven novel and Yara is such a dynamic, authentically human character! Rum fleshed out Yara’s behaviors, thoughts, fears, and motivations so incredibly well. Though I did not have the childhood that Yara had, I felt myself strongly relating to her, and infuriated for her! The way that Rum repeatedly gave us scenes where Yara attempted to mend a broken bridge, or extended an olive branch to her husband Fadi, was masterfully done. Yara desperately tries to ask for what she needs from Fadi, regarding time spent together, travel, emotional support and validation, reflection and examination of their lives and pasts, and something beyond watching tv together every night for an hour or two. It’s so disheartening to see Yara shut down every single time💔
Rum presents every single insidious comeback that people respond with when they gaslight or emotionally manipulate the person who is trying so desperately to be heard, seen, understood, or validated. I wanted to scream, “you’re not hearing her! listen to her! her feelings are valid! stop centering yourself!” but it was no use. I also appreciated that Rum presents a journey away from reconciliation. Sometimes, certain people simply cannot be the partner/friend/etc. you want them to be.
Yara’s relationship with her mother was quite devastating. There is nothing novel about fraught mother-daughter dynamics, but add in the layer of guilt Yara feels about her mother’s upbringing and abusive marriage, and you get a fully stacked complex PTSD sandwich. Yara fully recognizes that her mother would have probably felt grateful for the life Yara leads. It drives her even deeper into the spiral of feeling unworthy and unlovable. However, the way her perception of her mother adjusts over time because of her own personal journey was stunning; the level of empathy, tenderness, and sorrow she held for her mother was staggering and humbling. To find forgiveness is such a gift sometimes.
On the other hand, Yara’s dad was the perfect example of yet another person so stuck in their ways and centering themselves that their refusal to take any accountability only deepened the cuts that were already there. I fully believe you do not owe everyone all of you, and you do not owe everyone forgiveness. Some people need to earn their way back into your life and the way to pave this road is by changed behavior (and a bit of remorse goes a LONG way!).
I am so proud of Yara. She learns to listen to her gut, recognize how her body is feeling around certain people or when she is doing certain things, she makes a friend, she begins to open herself up and become a bit vulnerable, which is so scary! However, by doing this, she also expands her once-isolated world & truly begins to make decisions that she feels good about. So many people recognize that they are simply on autopilot & that their actions have been driven by people-pleasing, guilt, & shame. Not everyone does something about it; it’s no easy feat. Gosh, I loved this book & I’m so moved by Yara’s journey.
please see content warnings below & take care while reading 🫶🏽
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Racism, and Sexism
Minor: Infidelity, Genocide, and War
scmiller's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Grief, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Toxic relationship, and War
Moderate: Body shaming, Genocide, Suicidal thoughts, and Infidelity
mdavis26's review against another edition
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Islamophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Emotional abuse, Genocide, Toxic relationship, Domestic abuse, War, Death of parent, and Gaslighting
booksbeyondthebinary's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, and Mental illness
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Physical abuse, and Racism
Minor: Genocide and Death of parent
serendipitysbooks's review
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
Evil Eye is the story of Yara, a Palestinian- American woman, and her search for a more fulfilling life. Yara believes she should be happy. She’s married with two beautiful children and was able to earn a Masters degree and work at the local college, far more than she could ever hoped for during her very circumscribed childhood. But Yara wants more out of life, including travel and a closer relationship with her husband. Faced with a few personal crises she is eventually ready to reckon with her past and take action to work towards a more satisfying future for herself.
In this book Rum did a couple of things really well. One is the way she showcased intergenerational trauma, drawing clear links between the Nakba, the trauma based (and trauma causing) behaviours of Yara’s parents, and some of her own struggles. Another is the way she portrayed Yara’s emotions in a way that was so easy to empathise with that it hurt to read. I could feel her claustrophobia, her frustration at not being seen, her struggle to reconcile her dreams and aspirations with her family and cultural background, her guilt at not obeying, her pain at feeling that her emotions and aspirations were somehow wrong. At one point I actually needed to put the book aside to give my heart time to recover, and that is something I rarely do. For a time Yara made no progress, seemingly stuck in a cycle of unhappiness. While this was somewhat frustrating to read it also felt very accurate and true to life, an on the page representation of her life. Therapy was unable to make a difference until Yara was both willing to engage and able to find a therapist she felt comfortable with, but then it helped her make some big breakthroughs. I loved the friendship that developed between Silas (and his mother) and Yara. So refreshing to see a friendship between a male and female with no sexual overtones or other ulterior motives. It was also a good reminder of how a little kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life, and some of the joys to be found in cross-cultural friendships.
In this book Rum did a couple of things really well. One is the way she showcased intergenerational trauma, drawing clear links between the Nakba, the trauma based (and trauma causing) behaviours of Yara’s parents, and some of her own struggles. Another is the way she portrayed Yara’s emotions in a way that was so easy to empathise with that it hurt to read. I could feel her claustrophobia, her frustration at not being seen, her struggle to reconcile her dreams and aspirations with her family and cultural background, her guilt at not obeying, her pain at feeling that her emotions and aspirations were somehow wrong. At one point I actually needed to put the book aside to give my heart time to recover, and that is something I rarely do. For a time Yara made no progress, seemingly stuck in a cycle of unhappiness. While this was somewhat frustrating to read it also felt very accurate and true to life, an on the page representation of her life. Therapy was unable to make a difference until Yara was both willing to engage and able to find a therapist she felt comfortable with, but then it helped her make some big breakthroughs. I loved the friendship that developed between Silas (and his mother) and Yara. So refreshing to see a friendship between a male and female with no sexual overtones or other ulterior motives. It was also a good reminder of how a little kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life, and some of the joys to be found in cross-cultural friendships.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Mental illness
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Genocide and Islamophobia
kimveach's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Once again, I'm a lucky girl. This was another Goodreads giveaway. The only problem with this Uncorrected Proof is that there are no dedications, epigraphs, or author notes. I'll have to get a library copy to see what those were!
I loved this beautiful story of a young mother struggling to make sense of her life. As in her previous book, she looks at Palestinian Americans, a group I know little of.
I loved this beautiful story of a young mother struggling to make sense of her life. As in her previous book, she looks at Palestinian Americans, a group I know little of.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cultural appropriation, Dysphoria, Abandonment, Misogyny, Grief, Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Islamophobia, Racism, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Death, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Genocide, Mental illness, Racial slurs, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: War, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Deportation, Confinement, Genocide, and Colonisation
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