Reviews with content warning for Misogyny - Evil Eye

Reviews tagging 'Misogyny'

Evil Eye by Etaf Rum

43 reviews

brewdy_reader's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

𝘓𝘪𝘵𝘍𝘪𝘤 • 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘛𝘳𝘢𝘶𝘮𝘢 • ⁣𝘗𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘏𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 • 𝘎𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘤

"𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳."

Evil Eye is LitFic at its finest: it feels so real that it could be true, it could be someone's memoir, maybe someone close to you, maybe even yours, or mine. Every child of immigrants, every mother, every woman, anyone in any marginalized group, can find something relatable within these pages. Addressing Palestinian history, generational trauma, gender expectations and inequities, mental health and stigmas, shame and grief and guilt, Arab stereotypes, and lots of other tough topics, this is also a story of empowerment and how to heal.

Then there is the mouth-watering food. In fact, the only thing that Yara's husband Fadi and I see eye-to-eye on is her cooking: a gastronomic explosion of flavors. You will smell the aroma and taste the spices as you read. In fact I'm hungry now.

And Silas. 🥹

There is also art and creating and Frida Kahlo. There's instagram versus reality and what it means to live an authentic life. There's the isolation of not fitting the mold, not fitting in. How to live a life true to yourself and not what someone else wants for you. How to see that you don't need to be fixed because you're not broken.

Content Warnings

drraytay's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

Yara is a Palestinian American woman who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, whose parents were immigrants from Palestine, and who is now living in a small city with her husband & two young kids. This novel takes place over about a year in Yara’s life after a great loss, as she navigates depression amidst her occupational and interpersonal struggles as a mom and wife. There are excerpts from Yara’s journal in which she writes letters to her mom, mostly about memories from her childhood, scattered throughout the book, and each gives readers a bit more insight as to how volatile Yara’s childhood had been. Yara struggles to connect with her husband Fadi, and to be present for her daughters Mira and Jude. All the while, she questions herself and why she feels so depleted and empty of fulfillment, when she logically recognizes she has so much more than her parents did at her age. After she calls a colleague racist at work, Yara is strongly encouraged to begin counseling sessions with William, their staff therapist. Through this and through Yara’s own inner examinations, she begins exploring the roots of her pain, anger, and sadness.

Wow wow wow wow I am blown away. This is one of my favorite literary fiction novels EVER. Etaf Rum’s writing of Yara’s journey felt like a deep, quite, aching rumble 😭❤️‍🩹. This is a character-driven novel and Yara is such a dynamic, authentically human character! Rum fleshed out Yara’s behaviors, thoughts, fears, and motivations so incredibly well. Though I did not have the childhood that Yara had, I felt myself strongly relating to her, and infuriated for her! The way that Rum repeatedly gave us scenes where Yara attempted to mend a broken bridge, or extended an olive branch to her husband Fadi, was masterfully done. Yara desperately tries to ask for what she needs from Fadi, regarding time spent together, travel, emotional support and validation, reflection and examination of their lives and pasts, and something beyond watching tv together every night for an hour or two. It’s so disheartening to see Yara shut down every single time💔

Rum presents every single insidious comeback that people respond with when they gaslight or emotionally manipulate the person who is trying so desperately to be heard, seen, understood, or validated. I wanted to scream, “you’re not hearing her! listen to her! her feelings are valid! stop centering yourself!” but it was no use. I also appreciated that Rum presents a journey away from reconciliation. Sometimes, certain people simply cannot be the partner/friend/etc. you want them to be.

Yara’s relationship with her mother was quite devastating. There is nothing novel about fraught mother-daughter dynamics, but add in the layer of guilt Yara feels about her mother’s upbringing and abusive marriage, and you get a fully stacked complex PTSD sandwich. Yara fully recognizes that her mother would have probably felt grateful for the life Yara leads. It drives her even deeper into the spiral of feeling unworthy and unlovable. However, the way her perception of her mother adjusts over time because of her own personal journey was stunning; the level of empathy, tenderness, and sorrow she held for her mother was staggering and humbling. To find forgiveness is such a gift sometimes.

On the other hand, Yara’s dad was the perfect example of yet another person so stuck in their ways and centering themselves that their refusal to take any accountability only deepened the cuts that were already there. I fully believe you do not owe everyone all of you, and you do not owe everyone forgiveness. Some people need to earn their way back into your life and the way to pave this road is by changed behavior (and a bit of remorse goes a LONG way!).

I am so proud of Yara. She learns to listen to her gut, recognize how her body is feeling around certain people or when she is doing certain things, she makes a friend, she begins to open herself up and become a bit vulnerable, which is so scary! However, by doing this, she also expands her once-isolated world & truly begins to make decisions that she feels good about. So many people recognize that they are simply on autopilot & that their actions have been driven by people-pleasing, guilt, & shame. Not everyone does something about it; it’s no easy feat. Gosh, I loved this book & I’m so moved by Yara’s journey.

please see content warnings below & take care while reading 🫶🏽

Content Warnings

torturedreadersdept's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

sarasreading's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This book gave me so many intense feelings.

I felt like I was in the arguments she had. When someone would say something awful and/or gaslight-y to her, I often had a retort in my head that she then said. I felt like I was by her side her every step of the way. While I don't know at all what it's like to be in her shoes racially or culturally, I've been in a surface level relationship with no emotional depth. You spend so much time begging for connection, not getting it, and then being told you should just stop being sad about the relationship, to get over it and be happy instead. I was fuming on her behalf.

There was so much gaslighting and past trauma, and it was so emotionally satisfying to see her begin to work through things, become a healthier person, recognize what she was constantly being put through, and then start making healing changes.

Rum does such an amazing job at making me feel intimately connected to her main characters. They feel so real and alive, and make me want to physically fight anyone treating them badly.

Content Warnings

nonfictionfeminist's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Another excellent story from Rum. This one felt slow and heavy, and it felt as though Rum was forcing me to slow down, take my time, savor it, study it. I found myself rereading sentences, not because I didn't understand them, but because I needed to pause, picture them, take them in and sit with them for a minute. This may just be my favorite book of 2023.

Content Warnings