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bookishmillennial's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial
Yara is a Palestinian American woman who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, whose parents were immigrants from Palestine, and who is now living in a small city with her husband & two young kids. This novel takes place over about a year in Yara’s life after a great loss, as she navigates depression amidst her occupational and interpersonal struggles as a mom and wife. There are excerpts from Yara’s journal in which she writes letters to her mom, mostly about memories from her childhood, scattered throughout the book, and each gives readers a bit more insight as to how volatile Yara’s childhood had been. Yara struggles to connect with her husband Fadi, and to be present for her daughters Mira and Jude. All the while, she questions herself and why she feels so depleted and empty of fulfillment, when she logically recognizes she has so much more than her parents did at her age. After she calls a colleague racist at work, Yara is strongly encouraged to begin counseling sessions with William, their staff therapist. Through this and through Yara’s own inner examinations, she begins exploring the roots of her pain, anger, and sadness.
Wow wow wow wow I am blown away. This is one of my favorite literary fiction novels EVER. Etaf Rum’s writing of Yara’s journey felt like a deep, quite, aching rumble 😭❤️🩹. This is a character-driven novel and Yara is such a dynamic, authentically human character! Rum fleshed out Yara’s behaviors, thoughts, fears, and motivations so incredibly well. Though I did not have the childhood that Yara had, I felt myself strongly relating to her, and infuriated for her! The way that Rum repeatedly gave us scenes where Yara attempted to mend a broken bridge, or extended an olive branch to her husband Fadi, was masterfully done. Yara desperately tries to ask for what she needs from Fadi, regarding time spent together, travel, emotional support and validation, reflection and examination of their lives and pasts, and something beyond watching tv together every night for an hour or two. It’s so disheartening to see Yara shut down every single time💔
Rum presents every single insidious comeback that people respond with when they gaslight or emotionally manipulate the person who is trying so desperately to be heard, seen, understood, or validated. I wanted to scream, “you’re not hearing her! listen to her! her feelings are valid! stop centering yourself!” but it was no use. I also appreciated that Rum presents a journey away from reconciliation. Sometimes, certain people simply cannot be the partner/friend/etc. you want them to be.
Yara’s relationship with her mother was quite devastating. There is nothing novel about fraught mother-daughter dynamics, but add in the layer of guilt Yara feels about her mother’s upbringing and abusive marriage, and you get a fully stacked complex PTSD sandwich. Yara fully recognizes that her mother would have probably felt grateful for the life Yara leads. It drives her even deeper into the spiral of feeling unworthy and unlovable. However, the way her perception of her mother adjusts over time because of her own personal journey was stunning; the level of empathy, tenderness, and sorrow she held for her mother was staggering and humbling. To find forgiveness is such a gift sometimes.
On the other hand, Yara’s dad was the perfect example of yet another person so stuck in their ways and centering themselves that their refusal to take any accountability only deepened the cuts that were already there. I fully believe you do not owe everyone all of you, and you do not owe everyone forgiveness. Some people need to earn their way back into your life and the way to pave this road is by changed behavior (and a bit of remorse goes a LONG way!).
I am so proud of Yara. She learns to listen to her gut, recognize how her body is feeling around certain people or when she is doing certain things, she makes a friend, she begins to open herself up and become a bit vulnerable, which is so scary! However, by doing this, she also expands her once-isolated world & truly begins to make decisions that she feels good about. So many people recognize that they are simply on autopilot & that their actions have been driven by people-pleasing, guilt, & shame. Not everyone does something about it; it’s no easy feat. Gosh, I loved this book & I’m so moved by Yara’s journey.
please see content warnings below & take care while reading 🫶🏽
Yara is a Palestinian American woman who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, whose parents were immigrants from Palestine, and who is now living in a small city with her husband & two young kids. This novel takes place over about a year in Yara’s life after a great loss, as she navigates depression amidst her occupational and interpersonal struggles as a mom and wife. There are excerpts from Yara’s journal in which she writes letters to her mom, mostly about memories from her childhood, scattered throughout the book, and each gives readers a bit more insight as to how volatile Yara’s childhood had been. Yara struggles to connect with her husband Fadi, and to be present for her daughters Mira and Jude. All the while, she questions herself and why she feels so depleted and empty of fulfillment, when she logically recognizes she has so much more than her parents did at her age. After she calls a colleague racist at work, Yara is strongly encouraged to begin counseling sessions with William, their staff therapist. Through this and through Yara’s own inner examinations, she begins exploring the roots of her pain, anger, and sadness.
Wow wow wow wow I am blown away. This is one of my favorite literary fiction novels EVER. Etaf Rum’s writing of Yara’s journey felt like a deep, quite, aching rumble 😭❤️🩹. This is a character-driven novel and Yara is such a dynamic, authentically human character! Rum fleshed out Yara’s behaviors, thoughts, fears, and motivations so incredibly well. Though I did not have the childhood that Yara had, I felt myself strongly relating to her, and infuriated for her! The way that Rum repeatedly gave us scenes where Yara attempted to mend a broken bridge, or extended an olive branch to her husband Fadi, was masterfully done. Yara desperately tries to ask for what she needs from Fadi, regarding time spent together, travel, emotional support and validation, reflection and examination of their lives and pasts, and something beyond watching tv together every night for an hour or two. It’s so disheartening to see Yara shut down every single time💔
Rum presents every single insidious comeback that people respond with when they gaslight or emotionally manipulate the person who is trying so desperately to be heard, seen, understood, or validated. I wanted to scream, “you’re not hearing her! listen to her! her feelings are valid! stop centering yourself!” but it was no use. I also appreciated that Rum presents a journey away from reconciliation. Sometimes, certain people simply cannot be the partner/friend/etc. you want them to be.
Yara’s relationship with her mother was quite devastating. There is nothing novel about fraught mother-daughter dynamics, but add in the layer of guilt Yara feels about her mother’s upbringing and abusive marriage, and you get a fully stacked complex PTSD sandwich. Yara fully recognizes that her mother would have probably felt grateful for the life Yara leads. It drives her even deeper into the spiral of feeling unworthy and unlovable. However, the way her perception of her mother adjusts over time because of her own personal journey was stunning; the level of empathy, tenderness, and sorrow she held for her mother was staggering and humbling. To find forgiveness is such a gift sometimes.
On the other hand, Yara’s dad was the perfect example of yet another person so stuck in their ways and centering themselves that their refusal to take any accountability only deepened the cuts that were already there. I fully believe you do not owe everyone all of you, and you do not owe everyone forgiveness. Some people need to earn their way back into your life and the way to pave this road is by changed behavior (and a bit of remorse goes a LONG way!).
I am so proud of Yara. She learns to listen to her gut, recognize how her body is feeling around certain people or when she is doing certain things, she makes a friend, she begins to open herself up and become a bit vulnerable, which is so scary! However, by doing this, she also expands her once-isolated world & truly begins to make decisions that she feels good about. So many people recognize that they are simply on autopilot & that their actions have been driven by people-pleasing, guilt, & shame. Not everyone does something about it; it’s no easy feat. Gosh, I loved this book & I’m so moved by Yara’s journey.
please see content warnings below & take care while reading 🫶🏽
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Racism, and Sexism
Minor: Infidelity, Genocide, and War
torturedreadersdept's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Bullying, Death, Child abuse, Gaslighting, Dysphoria, Emotional abuse, Racism, Cursing, Misogyny, War, Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Islamophobia, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Grief, Toxic relationship, Sexism, Death of parent, and Physical abuse
Minor: Islamophobia
nonfictionfeminist's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Another excellent story from Rum. This one felt slow and heavy, and it felt as though Rum was forcing me to slow down, take my time, savor it, study it. I found myself rereading sentences, not because I didn't understand them, but because I needed to pause, picture them, take them in and sit with them for a minute. This may just be my favorite book of 2023.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, and Sexism
Moderate: Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Colonisation, Gaslighting, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Toxic relationship, and Suicidal thoughts
scmiller's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Domestic abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Grief, Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Toxic relationship, and War
Moderate: Body shaming, Genocide, Suicidal thoughts, and Infidelity
kerrygetsliterary's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Misogyny, and Sexism
Moderate: Homophobia
ruffian23's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death of parent, Dysphoria, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Misogyny, Racism, Violence, and Infidelity
thecriticalreader's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
I picked Evil Eye by Etaf Rum for my main Book of the Month pick in September. The blurb for the book is kind of vague, so I wasn’t sure if I would like it or not. Luckily, Evil Eye drew me in and captivated me until I had finished it within two days. I couldn’t put it down, even though it’s pretty slow in terms of plot. Yara’s voice is so strong, and her situation is so heartbreaking, that it’s impossible not to root for her as she struggles to keep herself afloat amid a pretty dire mental health crisis and intense familial responsibilities. I like how Rum portrays the additional barriers Yara faces when it comes to seeking help: a fear of being seen as a stereotypical “oppressed” Arab woman, a cultural pressure to fulfill the perfect housewife image, generational trauma, and an idea that her struggles don’t matter compared to the situations of her parents and grandparents. Rum uses thoughtful characterization and evocative writing to capture a critical moment in a deeply traumatized and unappreciated person’s life in which they might either succumb to destructive tendencies or—with the help of caring friends and mental health resources—begin a healing journey.
My only criticism of the book is that it gets a bit repetitive at the beginning when it comes to Yara’s situation and feelings about her family life. I think these passages should have been cut in the editing process, because the rest of the book does a great job of painting a portrait of Yara’s mental state.
The Run-Down:
You will probably like Evil Eye if . . .
· You enjoy literary fiction that focuses on the lives of ordinary people and mental health
You might not like Evil Eye if . . .
· You prefer more “plot-focused” or fast-paced books
Similar Books:
· Maame by Jessica George
· My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Sexism, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Racism, Physical abuse, Colonisation, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Pregnancy and Death of parent
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