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2.48 AVERAGE
2.48 AVERAGE
emotional
inspiring
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
lighthearted
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
N/A
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
the thing about this book is that it’s actually kind of bad. not totally, but enough. i wouldn’t really recommend it to anyone. but i still really love it. when i finished it, i just bounced around my house, elated. everything made sense. my desire made sense. it’s weird, properly. it’s really weird. but i feel like i understand things like he does. all that socialization and the power dynamics, i really get that. and i want the intimacy, i yearn for it, but i also can’t stop wanting be like special, popular, to glow. i want it in a way that welcomes intimacy. i hate the way i have power. i’ve cut off friends cause they look up to me too much, it’s fucked up. i never want power over anyone like that. i just want the power to make things good. i want closeness. i want those late night talks with girls, where we can escape competition. and i want to inhibit that genderless space, free to have the social power of goodness and kindness that is always used against women, and the freedom of expression that is always used against men. like, women can’t be kind and good and popular in the way i want to be. they can’t glow with it. they have to be a little mean, a little forbidden, a little unwelcoming. and men can’t be open the way i want to be. to be expressive, emotional, plainly needy and honest. they can’t do that. so friendship and community and intimacy need to be a little gender defying to go both ways. and i want that. i want that closeness. i remember laying in my friend’s bed while she played with my hair, and we just looked at each other, as the sun set through the windows and the room became dark, we just lay there, and loved. and i want that. and i want attention. i’m the kind of person where i’m mostly the topic of conversation when i’m around. i’m the kind of person where if i’m not contributing, then people will loop back to me anyway, they’ll ask what’s wrong, or try to comfort me or joke with me, they want me. i’m pretty charismatic. and i care so much about them, i do. but sometimes it just gets so tedious, all the pointless conversation, and i fall back into cruelty, and that just makes me more powerful in their eyes, more of their superior, and i get even crueler, cause i hate that. i want people to look at me and want to be in a dark room on the bed not doing anything but confessing, i need this, i love you. closeness. not sexual, or anything. just closeness. and this book, well, i guess it said that for me. it gave me a character who wanted that, and got it. i guess i really love it for that. it means a lot to me.
I don't want to knock this book and give it a bad review because I'm thrilled that it's out there, but it really was not my cup of tea. Many of the characters were difficult to like, and starting the book I felt like I was coming in on the middle of the story - there was so much jumping around and lack of explanation or backstory. I wasn't into it.
challenging
emotional
lighthearted
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Biphobia, Drug use, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual content, Lesbophobia, Outing, Alcohol
Minor: Murder
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I wanted to like this book, but the treatment of women is atrocious. Mari is introduced to us by the main character as being “chubby” and then this same character describes her as “crone like” when she wraps herself in a beach blanket. She’s supposed to be like 16. The main character flees across the beach to join a different group because of how repulsive he finds her, I guess, and the guy that supposedly likes her just abandons her too? Her relationship with her mom is also mocked which is crazy because of all these alcoholic teen narcissists she seemed to have the healthiest parental relationship? The main character later becomes her “best friend” and none of that mean stuff from the beginning of the book is ever addressed, not even as a thought. Then there’s Avani, who is only ever an object of envy or desire. She’s cast as shallow and manipulative, but no one in the book ever takes time to actually find out how she feels or listens to her. In the scene where everyone goes to the movies the main character purposefully won’t let her speak until he decides it’s the right moment, and he uses her as an accessory often. No wonder she never wanted to be his friend, who would? The other female characters are cardboard cutouts of people that the male characters are constantly trying to bang.
The non-stop drinking, partying, and manipulation seems like a lot for teenagers as well. None of them ever seriously address how unhealthy what they’re doing is.
The only redeeming quality of the story was the poignancy of Nandan’s struggle to navigate a world full of labels and figure out his sexuality for himself, but even this aspect of the book was poorly resolved. Home boy needs therapy: he has crippling social anxiety and abysmal self-esteem.
The non-stop drinking, partying, and manipulation seems like a lot for teenagers as well. None of them ever seriously address how unhealthy what they’re doing is.
The only redeeming quality of the story was the poignancy of Nandan’s struggle to navigate a world full of labels and figure out his sexuality for himself, but even this aspect of the book was poorly resolved. Home boy needs therapy: he has crippling social anxiety and abysmal self-esteem.
tense
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I’m not rating this book at the moment because honestly, I have no idea how I feel or what I just read...I did not like being in Nandan’s head,
I think if this was pitched differently it could have worked more, I mean it was pitched as a queer ya romance coming of age story between two boys...I think the word “romance” needs to be removed? Because i think that word, along with that amazing cover, sets it up as your standard fluffy contemporary and this just...wasn’t that? I think If I went in with different expectations I wouldn’t have been so frustrated with a lot of the content...
So because I have no idea how I feel (I WANT to like this so much and I WANT the ending to have as much of a happy impact as a “happy ending” usually would with me but I JUST DONT KNOW), so in saying that here is a 1 Star review that pretty well echos a lot of what I was thinking while reading the book... Anniek
Spoiler
and I hated the way he treated Dave. I did like the exploration of sexuality. I can honestly say I’ve never read a book quite like it. BUT again I hated being in our MC’s head, they way he described Dave at times was uncomfortable. And honestly it felt as though the story was skipping some bits? I mean at the end we go from them breaking up, Dave asking him not to touch him, Nandan asserting he’s straight and then they kiss, go to breakfast and then Nandan suddenly realises he’s in love with Dave and they end up together? I just don’t understand. AND the fact that they NEVER actually talk about how Nandan feels while having sex/doing anything more than kissing? ...I don’t know, the entire reading experience made me uncomfortable and angry but then appreciative of the complexity of sexuality and figuring things out and then back around to frustrated and disgusted by Nandan’s actions...I just wish there had been more serious discussion about how Nandan actually felt, not in regards to labelling himself but just more openly about how he feels and what it means for him, because without that the ending with him getting back together with Dave makes zero sense...and that sucks because it feels as though I can’t enjoy the happy ending.I think if this was pitched differently it could have worked more, I mean it was pitched as a queer ya romance coming of age story between two boys...I think the word “romance” needs to be removed? Because i think that word, along with that amazing cover, sets it up as your standard fluffy contemporary and this just...wasn’t that? I think If I went in with different expectations I wouldn’t have been so frustrated with a lot of the content...
So because I have no idea how I feel (I WANT to like this so much and I WANT the ending to have as much of a happy impact as a “happy ending” usually would with me but I JUST DONT KNOW), so in saying that here is a 1 Star review that pretty well echos a lot of what I was thinking while reading the book... Anniek
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
N/A
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
i feel like im reading a wattpad fanfic written by a 13 year old who's failing creative writing