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3.7 AVERAGE
3.7 AVERAGE
"First we feast; then IKEA!" is the chant du jour through the streets of Pine Cove, California. But first, the backstory... Pine Cove is a small, nothing sort of town tucked away in a forest of pine trees. Theo Crowe is the town constable and is the only source of law enforcement despite his well-noted history of marijuana abuse. His wife, Molly Michon, suffers from mild dissociative disorder and with a tendency to work out using a sword she kept from her days as a B-movie, action-hero bombshell. Lena Marquez does, well, not much of anything except fight with her ex-husband Dale Pearson. And Tucker Case is a pilot who works part-time as a DEA drug spotter who is new to town. One day, things go a bit awry when Lena gets in a fight with Dale while he's drunk. When he pulls a gun on her, she tries to defend herself with a shovel and he falls on the shovel, impaling himself. The catch is that he's dressed in his big red suit and white beard (it is Christmas, after all) and a young boy, watching from afar, swears he just witnessed the murder of Santa Claus. When he prays that God will bring Santa back to life in time for the Holidays, God responds be sending Raziel, the archangel from Lamb to grant the wish of one small boy at Christmas. However, Raziel is not the brightest angel around and he misinterprets the request just a bit. I'll leave it at that. The book is hilarious, plain and simple. And you will find yourself laughing out loud at the absurdity of it all. But it is a fun and quick little holiday read. Just don't read it to the kids.
Not as good as "Lamb" but better than "Bloodsucking Fiends"
So I'm not a huge zombie story fan, but I'll have to make an exception for this story. Loved the return to Pine Cove & getting an update on all the favorite characters as well.
I apparently read this the first time shortly after having my first kid. I barely remembered it at all. It was still enjoyable the second time. With over the top metaphors and plenty of crassness, this is not to be confused with high literature. But it's funny.
This was the perfect book to read after finishing ZAMM.
Crazy Christmas story - lots of small town silly folk with crazy situations mixed in, and some zombies and a not so bright Christmas Angel
I enjoyed this. The plot spiralled into a weird tangent near the end, but overall, funny and quirky. Not for everyone. It reminded me of a Terry Pratchett book--a profane Terry Pratchett with language, violence, and sex.
Here are some quotes that I enjoyed:
Bulges was a woman’s fitness center located just above the parking lot of the Thrifty Mart.
Tuck had once been a ladies’ man of the highest order—a Don Juan, a Casanova, a Kennedy sans cash…
“Did you ever shoot anybody?” asked Joshua Barker. He was sitting at a bar stool at the kitchen counter. A man in a gray uniform was fussing medical over him.
“No, I’m an EMT,” said the EMT.
She spun around and there, hanging from the gutter, was a giant fruit bat. And he was looking at her—no, not just looking at her, he was checking her out.
Lena began to chat and pace in a circle, glancing up at Tuck and his bat every couple of seconds. She paused. “He’s wearing sunglasses.”
“Yeah, and don’t think it’s easy finding Ray-Bans in a fruit-bat medium.”
His chance to play Balthazar, the Ethiopian king, was lost when he announced that the Magi had arrived bearing gold, Frankenstein, and myrhh. Later, he, the two other camels, and a sheep will be suspended for smoking the myrhh.
“IKEA,” chanted the dead. “First we feast, then IKEA.”
Here are some quotes that I enjoyed:
Bulges was a woman’s fitness center located just above the parking lot of the Thrifty Mart.
Tuck had once been a ladies’ man of the highest order—a Don Juan, a Casanova, a Kennedy sans cash…
“Did you ever shoot anybody?” asked Joshua Barker. He was sitting at a bar stool at the kitchen counter. A man in a gray uniform was fussing medical over him.
“No, I’m an EMT,” said the EMT.
She spun around and there, hanging from the gutter, was a giant fruit bat. And he was looking at her—no, not just looking at her, he was checking her out.
Lena began to chat and pace in a circle, glancing up at Tuck and his bat every couple of seconds. She paused. “He’s wearing sunglasses.”
“Yeah, and don’t think it’s easy finding Ray-Bans in a fruit-bat medium.”
His chance to play Balthazar, the Ethiopian king, was lost when he announced that the Magi had arrived bearing gold, Frankenstein, and myrhh. Later, he, the two other camels, and a sheep will be suspended for smoking the myrhh.
“IKEA,” chanted the dead. “First we feast, then IKEA.”
This book was hilarious and fun! I'm going to actively search out more of Christopher Moore's books to listen to while I work. Perfect for getting through the day.
Good for a quick Christmas read. Nothing deep and life changing, which is what I wanted since I’m reading it over vacation. Some of the silly/quirkiness in it does get to be a bit much though.