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helpfulsnowman's review against another edition
2.0
This one's been living on the ol' kindle for a bit. I started it at some point, then left it because, well, I thought it was a little depressing. Not because it was Santa, just because a guy was...stepping out. Of his marriage. Into the vagina of a weird tooth fairy.
Then I tried it again in order to write a column about Christmas in Bizarro Land. I succeeded this time. Succeeded in finishing, that is. But it wasn't my favorite.
The thing is, I'm not a big erotica guy. I'm not a little erotica guy. I'm not an erotica guy of any size. Could've saved myself some time just now by starting with that, leaving off the size distinction. So, I don't know, maybe this is more appealing for fans of that stuff. For me it was a lot of descriptions of bangin', which sounds fun and all, but reading about it is a little like reading a long narrative of someone telling about how they had a really fun time on a rollercoaster. I'm sure it was fun, I'm sure I'd have fun on that rollercoaster, but the written narrative doesn't quite hit the bases for me.
There's stuff to like here. Santa's ejaculate turns into candy canes when it hits a Christmas tree. Don't ask me why that happens. I've ejaculated a reasonable number of times in my life, and I've never hit, nor have I ever been danger-close to hitting, a Christmas tree. Or any holiday/religious symbol that happened to be around. There's a graveyard battle. The Tooth Fairy is kinda horrifying, which makes sense. What kinda freak likes teeth that much?
By the way, I recently learned that there is like this weird, underground-ish market for human teeth. People will buy from dental offices and re-sell them. And they're worth a pretty good penny! Something like $4 bucks a tooth on etsy. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but if you got like 8 pounds of teeth in one shot (like one writer claimed), you'd be in pretty good shape. I've got a couple questions and ideas, untested, that I'm curious about:
1. Can you pretend they're for a child's science fair project? One of those "Does cola dissolve teeth?" things. Would a dentist turn them over to you?
2. I'm reading that it's better to contact an oral surgeon, which makes sense. I'm sure they've got all kinds of teeth.
3. I knew a girl whose mom kept ALL her baby teeth in a little box. She shared this fact at a professional event as her "two truths and a lie" sort of thing, and it was by far the best one. To me.
4. One person recommended going to low-income neighborhoods and hitting up the dentists (and assistants) there. Morally questionable, but on the other hand, we ARE talking about the re-selling of human teeth here, which is difficult to do from a high horse.
I guess I'm telling everyone out there to save the teeth you get from extractions, your wisdom teeth, whatever. Because while $4 bucks isn't a shitload, it'll offset that dental bill a little bit, right?
Then I tried it again in order to write a column about Christmas in Bizarro Land. I succeeded this time. Succeeded in finishing, that is. But it wasn't my favorite.
The thing is, I'm not a big erotica guy. I'm not a little erotica guy. I'm not an erotica guy of any size. Could've saved myself some time just now by starting with that, leaving off the size distinction. So, I don't know, maybe this is more appealing for fans of that stuff. For me it was a lot of descriptions of bangin', which sounds fun and all, but reading about it is a little like reading a long narrative of someone telling about how they had a really fun time on a rollercoaster. I'm sure it was fun, I'm sure I'd have fun on that rollercoaster, but the written narrative doesn't quite hit the bases for me.
There's stuff to like here. Santa's ejaculate turns into candy canes when it hits a Christmas tree. Don't ask me why that happens. I've ejaculated a reasonable number of times in my life, and I've never hit, nor have I ever been danger-close to hitting, a Christmas tree. Or any holiday/religious symbol that happened to be around. There's a graveyard battle. The Tooth Fairy is kinda horrifying, which makes sense. What kinda freak likes teeth that much?
By the way, I recently learned that there is like this weird, underground-ish market for human teeth. People will buy from dental offices and re-sell them. And they're worth a pretty good penny! Something like $4 bucks a tooth on etsy. Which doesn't sound like a lot, but if you got like 8 pounds of teeth in one shot (like one writer claimed), you'd be in pretty good shape. I've got a couple questions and ideas, untested, that I'm curious about:
1. Can you pretend they're for a child's science fair project? One of those "Does cola dissolve teeth?" things. Would a dentist turn them over to you?
2. I'm reading that it's better to contact an oral surgeon, which makes sense. I'm sure they've got all kinds of teeth.
3. I knew a girl whose mom kept ALL her baby teeth in a little box. She shared this fact at a professional event as her "two truths and a lie" sort of thing, and it was by far the best one. To me.
4. One person recommended going to low-income neighborhoods and hitting up the dentists (and assistants) there. Morally questionable, but on the other hand, we ARE talking about the re-selling of human teeth here, which is difficult to do from a high horse.
I guess I'm telling everyone out there to save the teeth you get from extractions, your wisdom teeth, whatever. Because while $4 bucks isn't a shitload, it'll offset that dental bill a little bit, right?
ninj's review against another edition
4.0
This was a lot of fun, with happily married Santa getting led astray by the lustful toothfairy, with the Easter Bunny threading his way through the story. Some mysterious backstory on the characters helps elevate it.
kittypoo's review against another edition
challenging
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
2.0
The overall plot is interesting, but goes out of its way to be edgy and ends up being creepy.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Infidelity
Moderate: Stalking
Minor: Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, and Pedophilia
Several odd sexual situations that don't fit into other categories, such as: The Easter bunny being a necrophiliac peeping tom, and Santa turning his seed into candy canes that unsuspecting parents and kids eat. Stuff like that.kaylannwatson's review against another edition
I only read this for my tiktok. I’m convinced this author just played cards against humanity to create the events of this story. You might think you know what this is about but you don’t.
Jizz candy canes
A tooth fairy that shits out coins
SA’ing a reindeer
A sex addict rapist Easter bunny
An unfaithful child grooming Santa
Mrs Claus getting an elf train on her
SA God as a baby????
These all had to have come from night terrors.
Jizz candy canes
A tooth fairy that shits out coins
SA’ing a reindeer
A sex addict rapist Easter bunny
An unfaithful child grooming Santa
Mrs Claus getting an elf train on her
SA God as a baby????
These all had to have come from night terrors.
sheldonnylander's review against another edition
4.0
What if the Santa Claus you think you know wasn't really Santa? For that matter, if the Santa that Santa knows wasn't really Santa?
In Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux, we are introduced to a world where the Christian angels, mythological figure (like Santa and the Easter Bunny), and even God himself were once other mythological being, but had their identities erased and were cast in new roles by the current being who calls himself God. This isn't a spoiler, You're told as much in the very beginning. For example, the angel Michael was originally Hermes, or the Son (guess who?) was at one time known as Apollo. Even Mrs. Claus was once another mythological being. And instead of Rudolph, Santa's reindeer are led by Lucifer with flaming antlers (although there's not indication that he is any relation to the Biblical Lucifer). But there's a flaw with this new order, and certain mythological beings must never see each other, lest their true identities begin to leak through.
This is the case with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. At one point, by sheer accident, they see each other, and a lusty past between them begins to leak through and revive, and Santa's original identity begins to leak through and fights with himself (think Gollum in “The Lord of the Rings”). Then the Easter Bunny enters the fray. Take that for what you will.
It seems silly, but Santa Steps Out is actually incredibly good, not to mention surprisingly deep. It's one of those books that makes you think at first that it's going to be low-brow, highly sexualized and based solely on shock value. But it's not this at all. It goes deeply into the subjects of history, identity, love, family, and loyalty.
The author's choice of words doesn't make it the easiest of reads. It's like if Vladimir Nabokov wrote sexual holiday-themed bizarro fiction. Yet it's so engaging that you never feel lost. The writing style is fluid and artistic, and the editing impeccable (something I'm usually a stickler for). Looking at the cover and the title, it really takes you by surprise. This book was a genuine pleasure to read.
The only complaint I have was the ending. Most of the answers we're looking looking for are relegated to an epilogue, and things seem to get tied up too quickly, even with the subtle hint at the end that there is more to come. There is a sequel, [b:Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes|13157032|Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes|Robert Devereaux|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1323287443s/13157032.jpg|6158535], which I will eventually get around to reading if it's anything like this book. Still, at the end it did feel like the author might have written himself into a corner and had to resort to deus ex machina to end the book, even while deus ex machina seemed inevitable. With knowledge that there is a sequel, this takes some of the sting out of it, as Santa Steps Out is rather hefty compared to many bizarro books, not to its detriment.
Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux earns 4.5 gold coins out of 5.
In Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux, we are introduced to a world where the Christian angels, mythological figure (like Santa and the Easter Bunny), and even God himself were once other mythological being, but had their identities erased and were cast in new roles by the current being who calls himself God. This isn't a spoiler, You're told as much in the very beginning. For example, the angel Michael was originally Hermes, or the Son (guess who?) was at one time known as Apollo. Even Mrs. Claus was once another mythological being. And instead of Rudolph, Santa's reindeer are led by Lucifer with flaming antlers (although there's not indication that he is any relation to the Biblical Lucifer). But there's a flaw with this new order, and certain mythological beings must never see each other, lest their true identities begin to leak through.
This is the case with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. At one point, by sheer accident, they see each other, and a lusty past between them begins to leak through and revive, and Santa's original identity begins to leak through and fights with himself (think Gollum in “The Lord of the Rings”). Then the Easter Bunny enters the fray. Take that for what you will.
It seems silly, but Santa Steps Out is actually incredibly good, not to mention surprisingly deep. It's one of those books that makes you think at first that it's going to be low-brow, highly sexualized and based solely on shock value. But it's not this at all. It goes deeply into the subjects of history, identity, love, family, and loyalty.
The author's choice of words doesn't make it the easiest of reads. It's like if Vladimir Nabokov wrote sexual holiday-themed bizarro fiction. Yet it's so engaging that you never feel lost. The writing style is fluid and artistic, and the editing impeccable (something I'm usually a stickler for). Looking at the cover and the title, it really takes you by surprise. This book was a genuine pleasure to read.
The only complaint I have was the ending. Most of the answers we're looking looking for are relegated to an epilogue, and things seem to get tied up too quickly, even with the subtle hint at the end that there is more to come. There is a sequel, [b:Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes|13157032|Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes|Robert Devereaux|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1323287443s/13157032.jpg|6158535], which I will eventually get around to reading if it's anything like this book. Still, at the end it did feel like the author might have written himself into a corner and had to resort to deus ex machina to end the book, even while deus ex machina seemed inevitable. With knowledge that there is a sequel, this takes some of the sting out of it, as Santa Steps Out is rather hefty compared to many bizarro books, not to its detriment.
Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux earns 4.5 gold coins out of 5.
gls_merch's review against another edition
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
woodge's review against another edition
3.0
Definitely one of the oddest books I've read. This book (which is categorized in the Horror genre) is about a lusty Santa Claus who carries on a highly libidinous affair with the Tooth Fairy. And to complicate things, Santa's exploits are making the Easter Bunny crazy with jealousy. The Easter Bunny is, of course, a giant rabbit with the ability to become invisible but his only paramour is a self-made model he's named Petunia, made from wire mesh and bunny excrement. Oh, and of course Mrs. Claus finds out and gets royally ticked. She enacts a memorable revenge. This book is like some bizarre dream dripping with explicit sex, gruesome scenes of gory horror, and a benevolent Santa who enjoys taking time out from his yearly rounds to indulge himself in hours of carnality with the twisted but curvaceous Tooth Fairy. It's kind of like a Penthouse letter mixed with Clive Barker and a fairy tale. It's hard to imagine upstanding citizens reading this book and not hurling it from them with a disgusted look. But there's also some cons to this book: it's a little overlong for such a simple plot and Mrs. Claus' actions aren't always in character. I would not recommend this book to anyone who's offended by graphic sex and violence or blasphemy. But if you're looking for something truly odd then this fits the bill.
ghostinthepages's review
5.0
The first time I read this book I was still in high school. Shared it with a friend and delighted in how it would shock most if they knew. Now here I am reading it again in my 30s and still enjoy it. It's so delightfully naughty.
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