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3.91 AVERAGE
3.91 AVERAGE
This is not a parenting guide, but rather a book about how parenting changes us, both individually and within our closest relationships. Senior’s writing is brisk, engaging, and smart, and reminds us that becoming/being a parent brings pain and joy in equal measure. To expect it to do otherwise is basically a misguided and ultimately doomed attempt to use our children “as antidepressants.”
One of the things I most appreciated about this book was the way Senior framed the research studies she mined. Let’s face it, there’s plenty of bad social science research out there. (As my college statistics prof used to say, the phrase “Studies show,” or even worse, “A study shows,” should immediately provoke skepticism, not credence.) Sample sizes may be miniscule. Results may be unreplicated or unreplicable. Terms are often so vaguely defined as to be meaningless. Surveys read more like push polls than unbiased research instruments. And “peer review” can mean that colleagues who share similar points of view sign off on each other’s shoddy work. I could go on, but my point is, Senior does her readers a great favor by noting the sample sizes of the studies she cites, and often noting their duration and something about the research design as well, without ever bogging down the narrative. This gives readers context for judging how much credence to give her supporting data.
One of the things I most appreciated about this book was the way Senior framed the research studies she mined. Let’s face it, there’s plenty of bad social science research out there. (As my college statistics prof used to say, the phrase “Studies show,” or even worse, “A study shows,” should immediately provoke skepticism, not credence.) Sample sizes may be miniscule. Results may be unreplicated or unreplicable. Terms are often so vaguely defined as to be meaningless. Surveys read more like push polls than unbiased research instruments. And “peer review” can mean that colleagues who share similar points of view sign off on each other’s shoddy work. I could go on, but my point is, Senior does her readers a great favor by noting the sample sizes of the studies she cites, and often noting their duration and something about the research design as well, without ever bogging down the narrative. This gives readers context for judging how much credence to give her supporting data.
Really good book. A bit dense in the middle (at least for this sleep-deprived toddler mom) but overall insightful and informative. The last chapter deserves a content warning, though.
When I started this book, I thought "Yeah, this is a few years old, because I remember hearing about it in DC." As it turns out, this came out in 2014, when the idea of having my own kids was extremely distant. I remember thinking the title was clever and apt, seeing how frantic the lives of people with children seemed to be. Two kids later, I'd say it feels aspirational - as many days I'm left feeling disappointed with myself for not reveling in the stuff of parenthood. But I do feel like the redeeming parts of parenting a young child are better described as joy. Anyway, this book was awesome. I've encountered several parenting books that are either narrative or best-practice, and each of those have their place. But this pop-sociological nonfiction study validated so many feelings, and made me really appreciate the role I play currently and how it will evolve as my children age. They say every child is different, and likewise every parent is different. It is always insightful to hear anecdotes from peers - and this book definitely has some compelling stories - yet I often wonder how each little yarn reflects a larger life stage vs. a unique part of my child's personality. The research is presented alongside narratives of families in a way that feels really natural.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
A book that confirms what I've suspected -- parents, especially moms, are way too hard on themselves. As much as it makes the argument that modern parenting is exhausting and hard, it just as beautifully explores the transcendent power of parenthood. I think any parent who reads this will find that a lot of it feels very familiar. I'd like to write more, but appropos of the book's themes, I don't have the time!
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
Decent book, but not any new information. Just a summary of the research and some good personal stories. Skimmed many parts just because it wasn't very interesting. One good quote from the book I enjoyed though: "Homework is the new dinner". Sad, but often true statement.
Some interesting thoughts and perspective on the affects of having children. Parent-centered vs the usual child-centric (which the point of the book...).
But could have been half as long.
But could have been half as long.
Interesting, well researched. Not a how-to manual, but an exploration of parenthood.
Approachable, well-researched, and fascinating. This book make me feel seen, heard, and validated as a parent.