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I loved this book so much. Will's love for his mother shines through. Their discussions touch on important values they both appreciate. I have never met anyone else who lives to read, like i have with this book. This book is not about reviewing books, but the relationships we have with books and those we share with.
What a beautiful book. For someone that loves books and the magic of reading and also that lost someone close very recently, this really felt like the most timely book for me. I felt very close to Will's family and was really moved by their journey along Mary Anne's illness. Using books as a way to talk, ponder and deal with difficult moments in life is a wonderful solution when approaching certain subjects directly is too difficult or inadvisable. It was a sad book, no doubt, but it had many bright spots of hope.
And, finally, the great (almost despairing) thing about books that talk about books is that once you're done you have a new long list of other books to tackle. It's an endless task but thank God for that.
And, finally, the great (almost despairing) thing about books that talk about books is that once you're done you have a new long list of other books to tackle. It's an endless task but thank God for that.
This book is a wonderful tribute to Mary Anne Schwalbe, Will's mother. How lucky he was to document her time after her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. As they had done for much of his life, Will and his mother spent much of their time talking about the books they were reading and had shared. And, as is often the case, this led to discussions of childhood, careers and all sorts of topics, including his mother's impending death.
I liked hearing their thoughts on some of the books I had also read. In addition, I have added a few of their choices to my tbr list.
"Mom had always taught all of us to examine decisions by reversability - that is, to hedge our bets. When you couldn't decide between two things, she suggested you choose the one that allowed you to change course if necessary. Not the road less traveled but the road with the exit ramp. I think that;s why we had all moved, at different times in our lives, to various foreign land without giving much thought to it. If you stayed at home, you might not get the opportunity to go to that place again. But if you went, you could always come back." (42)
"It is not by regretting what is irreparable that true work is to be done, but by making the best of what we are." F.W. Robertson from Daily Strength for Daily Needs by Mary Wilder Tileston (111)
"I was learning that when you're with someone who is dying, you may need to celebrate the past, live the present, and mourn the future all at the same time." (130)
"...Of course you could do more - you can always do more, and you should do more - but still, the important thing is to do what you can. You just do your best, and that's all you can do. Too many people use the excuse that they don't think they can do enough, so they decide they don't have to do anything. There's never a good excuse fo not doing anything - even if it's just to sign something, or send a small contribution, or invite a newly settled refugee family over for Thanksgiving." (255)
"But she was also content not to make things but just to enjoy them." (293)
"They [books] were Mom's companions and teachers. They had shown her the way. And she was able to look at them as she readied herself for the life everlasting that she knew awaited her. What comfort could be gained from staring at my lifeless e-reader?" (320)
I liked hearing their thoughts on some of the books I had also read. In addition, I have added a few of their choices to my tbr list.
"Mom had always taught all of us to examine decisions by reversability - that is, to hedge our bets. When you couldn't decide between two things, she suggested you choose the one that allowed you to change course if necessary. Not the road less traveled but the road with the exit ramp. I think that;s why we had all moved, at different times in our lives, to various foreign land without giving much thought to it. If you stayed at home, you might not get the opportunity to go to that place again. But if you went, you could always come back." (42)
"It is not by regretting what is irreparable that true work is to be done, but by making the best of what we are." F.W. Robertson from Daily Strength for Daily Needs by Mary Wilder Tileston (111)
"I was learning that when you're with someone who is dying, you may need to celebrate the past, live the present, and mourn the future all at the same time." (130)
"...Of course you could do more - you can always do more, and you should do more - but still, the important thing is to do what you can. You just do your best, and that's all you can do. Too many people use the excuse that they don't think they can do enough, so they decide they don't have to do anything. There's never a good excuse fo not doing anything - even if it's just to sign something, or send a small contribution, or invite a newly settled refugee family over for Thanksgiving." (255)
"But she was also content not to make things but just to enjoy them." (293)
"They [books] were Mom's companions and teachers. They had shown her the way. And she was able to look at them as she readied herself for the life everlasting that she knew awaited her. What comfort could be gained from staring at my lifeless e-reader?" (320)
Loved this book.
Occasionally I'll stumble upon a book that inspires me to do better, be better. I loved the conversations between Will and his mom. I know first hand how hard it can be to open yourself. This book makes me want to reach out and do a better job connecting.
Occasionally I'll stumble upon a book that inspires me to do better, be better. I loved the conversations between Will and his mom. I know first hand how hard it can be to open yourself. This book makes me want to reach out and do a better job connecting.
Occasionally I'll stumble upon a book that inspires me to do better, be better. I loved the conversations between Will and his mom. I know first hand how hard it can be to open yourself. This book makes me want to reach out and do a better job connecting. I've bookmarked many of the books they read together to read in the future.
It's not easy to write a novel about books, but Schwalbe has done an impressive job with exactly that. It's a lovely read about a son's relationship with his mother and how books help him face his mother's struggle with cancer. Their "book club" is something I dream of sharing with my boys as they grow. And despite it's title, I found the book to be hopeful and life-affirming.
– Reading isn't the opposite of doing; it's the opposite of dying. –
–[Books] help us talk. but they also give us something we all can talk about when we don't want to talk about ourselves. –
– The world is complicated. You don't have to have one emotion at a time. –
– I realized then that for all of us, part of the process of Mom's dying was mourning not just her death but also the death of our dreams of things to come. You don't really lose the person who has been; you have all those memories. . . I was learning that when you're with someone who is dying, you may need to celebrate the past, live the present, and mourn the future all at the same time. –
- Evil almost always starts with small cruelties. –
– Zinn points out that we all know it's wrong to interrupt each other. And yet we constantly interrupt ourselves. WE do it when we check our emails incessantly - or won't simply let a phone go to voicemail when we're doing something we enjoy... –
–[Books] help us talk. but they also give us something we all can talk about when we don't want to talk about ourselves. –
– The world is complicated. You don't have to have one emotion at a time. –
– I realized then that for all of us, part of the process of Mom's dying was mourning not just her death but also the death of our dreams of things to come. You don't really lose the person who has been; you have all those memories. . . I was learning that when you're with someone who is dying, you may need to celebrate the past, live the present, and mourn the future all at the same time. –
- Evil almost always starts with small cruelties. –
– Zinn points out that we all know it's wrong to interrupt each other. And yet we constantly interrupt ourselves. WE do it when we check our emails incessantly - or won't simply let a phone go to voicemail when we're doing something we enjoy... –
Thoughtful, gentle, and even wistful, this memoir of Schwalbe's reading relationship with his mother was a sweetly-sad, enjoyable read. Recommended especially for people who love books or their mothers.
I described this book to a friend in the following way: "The End of Your Life Book Club is ok, it's got some good recommendations in there, but it's largely about the author's mom's cancer treatment and how she is this kind of saintly creature who works with refugees and is super into her faith and stuff. It's interesting but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it based on where I am so far (about halfway)."
Ignoring the casualness and irreverence of my words, now that I've finished the book, I do think I'm wavering on whether I would recommend it. I took a look at the reading group guide at the end, and I think it might have been a more satisfying read, had I read it using those questions as a guide. Without them, I just saw the book as a kind of love letter from son to mother; and although there's nothing wrong with that, it seems a rather personal oeuvre that would resonate more within the family. Or, as it were, within the community created by Mary Anne Schwalbe, the author's mother.
Seeing as this book is about death, I'm afraid I sound too aloof about it, like I've never dealt with someone dying. In fact, I've been to more funerals in my life than weddings. I suppose I just haven't had the opportunity to beleaguer the process of saying goodbye the way Schwalbe did with his mother. Perhaps I'll see this book differently when a similar time comes for me and a loved one. For now, I'll simply say that I admire the closeness that books brought to this mother-son relationship, and I hope to have similar closeness with people in my own life.
Ignoring the casualness and irreverence of my words, now that I've finished the book, I do think I'm wavering on whether I would recommend it. I took a look at the reading group guide at the end, and I think it might have been a more satisfying read, had I read it using those questions as a guide. Without them, I just saw the book as a kind of love letter from son to mother; and although there's nothing wrong with that, it seems a rather personal oeuvre that would resonate more within the family. Or, as it were, within the community created by Mary Anne Schwalbe, the author's mother.
Seeing as this book is about death, I'm afraid I sound too aloof about it, like I've never dealt with someone dying. In fact, I've been to more funerals in my life than weddings. I suppose I just haven't had the opportunity to beleaguer the process of saying goodbye the way Schwalbe did with his mother. Perhaps I'll see this book differently when a similar time comes for me and a loved one. For now, I'll simply say that I admire the closeness that books brought to this mother-son relationship, and I hope to have similar closeness with people in my own life.
I wish I liked this more. The concept was great. I got a lot of interesting book recommendations for future reads from it. But, while I know this book was a tribute to his deceased Mother, I found the glorification of her entire being to be... unbelievable; and after awhile, almost annoying. Perhaps I'm cruel, but she did not seem real to me, and I certainly did not identify with her, or find her someone I could relate to.