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3.82 AVERAGE
3.82 AVERAGE
A wonderful tribute to a mother that was truly loved for all the right reasons. I loved how the family dealt with death as part of life and talked about the event itself. My list of books has grown due to this book but at the end I just wanted to focus on the mom and skip the books. Great read!
reflective
medium-paced
Based on the conversations over a two-year period of a son and his terminally ill mother (diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in her early 70s). I loved that they read "promiscuously and whimsically" -- popular fiction, classics, old books, new books -- and author Will Schwalbe gives a list in the book of all the books and authors discussed in the book. Lots of wisdom about living well and about supporting one who is fighting death.
I particularly will remember the lessons Will learned from The Etiquette of Illness, by cancer survivor Susan Halpern:
1. Ask: Do you want to talk about how you are feeling? More gentle, less intrusive than 'How are you feeling?'
2. Don't ask if there is anything you can do. Suggest things, or if it's not too intrusive, just do them.
3. You don't have to talk all the time. Sometimes just being there is enough.
I particularly will remember the lessons Will learned from The Etiquette of Illness, by cancer survivor Susan Halpern:
1. Ask: Do you want to talk about how you are feeling? More gentle, less intrusive than 'How are you feeling?'
2. Don't ask if there is anything you can do. Suggest things, or if it's not too intrusive, just do them.
3. You don't have to talk all the time. Sometimes just being there is enough.
You'd think it would be sad to know that you're reading about how a man spends his last two years creating a book club with his mother after finding out she has pancreatic cancer....but its not sad at all. It's written in an extremely uplifting and positive light about a woman who sounds absolutely wonderful to have known. But of course...I cried at the end anyway....
I found this author to be likeable and his mother an amazing woman. It's a lovely story and for me, the star was the books they discuss. Must have added at least 10 books to my 'to read' list after reading this.
<i>“That’s one of the things books do. They help us talk. But they also give us something we all can talk about when we don’t want to talk about ourselves.” </i>
This is an amazing story about selflessness, family, friends, and the power of the written word. Mary Anne Schwalbe dedicated her life to help those in the most need. She traveled to third-world countries without a thought for her own well-being just to make at least one person’s life a little bit brighter. One would think that after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Schwalbe would slow down and take it easy, not the case. She was more determined than ever to create more happy memories with her family and friends and to fulfill her dream of building a national cultural center and library at Kabul University in Afghanistan.
Will and his mom share a love of reading and find the book discussions as easy segues to other topics on their minds: cancer, death, religion, etc. The pair forms their own personal book club and discuss their reads on trips to and from chemo therapy. Their discussions help create a special bond between them – and the discussions serve a therapeutic role for both of them. Sharing book discussions with his mom help Will as he tries to cope with his mom’s illness and how to approach her illness without seeming suffocating. Mary Anne, a strong and independent woman learns how to subtly communicate her feelings of fear and hope by reading books on the illness and other subject matter which help her to come to the realization of just how blessed and enriched her life is. Because Mary Anne cares more for others than herself, she makes it a point to always check in via email to see how everyone is doing. With the help of Will, she communicates with everyone on a blog and updates them on her health and on her many projects to serve those in need. She ultimately receives, from a friend who also gave her a book that helped her cope with her illness (Daily Strength for Daily Needs) a donation for a million dollars to put towards the Afghan library project!
This book isn’t just for those who have or know someone dealing with cancer. This book is about inspiration and getting (and giving) the most out of life. It's about opening up to those you love and letting them know who you are and what you stand for before it's too late. It's about acts of kindnesses and paying them forward. At the very least, read this book for the amazing discussions and summaries on the many books the mother and son share. Everything from P.G. Wodehouse to Owen Meany to Continental Drift to People of the Book and The Painted Veil (the list goes on and on) are mentioned.
This is an amazing story about selflessness, family, friends, and the power of the written word. Mary Anne Schwalbe dedicated her life to help those in the most need. She traveled to third-world countries without a thought for her own well-being just to make at least one person’s life a little bit brighter. One would think that after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Schwalbe would slow down and take it easy, not the case. She was more determined than ever to create more happy memories with her family and friends and to fulfill her dream of building a national cultural center and library at Kabul University in Afghanistan.
Will and his mom share a love of reading and find the book discussions as easy segues to other topics on their minds: cancer, death, religion, etc. The pair forms their own personal book club and discuss their reads on trips to and from chemo therapy. Their discussions help create a special bond between them – and the discussions serve a therapeutic role for both of them. Sharing book discussions with his mom help Will as he tries to cope with his mom’s illness and how to approach her illness without seeming suffocating. Mary Anne, a strong and independent woman learns how to subtly communicate her feelings of fear and hope by reading books on the illness and other subject matter which help her to come to the realization of just how blessed and enriched her life is. Because Mary Anne cares more for others than herself, she makes it a point to always check in via email to see how everyone is doing. With the help of Will, she communicates with everyone on a blog and updates them on her health and on her many projects to serve those in need. She ultimately receives, from a friend who also gave her a book that helped her cope with her illness (Daily Strength for Daily Needs) a donation for a million dollars to put towards the Afghan library project!
This book isn’t just for those who have or know someone dealing with cancer. This book is about inspiration and getting (and giving) the most out of life. It's about opening up to those you love and letting them know who you are and what you stand for before it's too late. It's about acts of kindnesses and paying them forward. At the very least, read this book for the amazing discussions and summaries on the many books the mother and son share. Everything from P.G. Wodehouse to Owen Meany to Continental Drift to People of the Book and The Painted Veil (the list goes on and on) are mentioned.
From the book:
"We all owe everyone for everything that happens in our lives. But it's not the owing like a debt to one person - it's really that we owe everyone for everything. Our whole lives can change in an instant - so each person who keeps that from happening, no matter how small a role they play, is also responsible for all of it. Just by giving friendship and love, you keep the people around you from giving up - and each expression of friendship or love may be the one that makes all the difference."
"We all owe everyone for everything that happens in our lives. But it's not the owing like a debt to one person - it's really that we owe everyone for everything. Our whole lives can change in an instant - so each person who keeps that from happening, no matter how small a role they play, is also responsible for all of it. Just by giving friendship and love, you keep the people around you from giving up - and each expression of friendship or love may be the one that makes all the difference."
This book has so many takeaways. My favorite is his mother's sharing policy, because human beings/relationships are more important than things. Duh. Will totally use that as a mother. Usually I stall out at, "because it's nice?" I'm also inspired to be more active in the international volunteer community (perhaps this also falls under the sharing policy). I'm drawn to refugee and post-colonial novels (Barbara Kingsolver, Chris Cleave, etc!), because the authors' call to arms are so much more eloquent than I can manage and so much more personal than the minute news coverage of these issues in the U.S. However, it's so easy to be paralyzed by the scope of world cruelty and a book like this is a reminder that a little is better than nothing, without being too saccharine or preachy. Last favorite thing! I'm always looking for great books. I'm excited about the recommendations from this book, because everything they referenced that I had already read, I loved for some of the same reasons.
I borrowed this book from the library, but I will definitely be buying my own copy.
I borrowed this book from the library, but I will definitely be buying my own copy.