Reviews tagging 'Drug abuse'

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

31 reviews

dreareads_'s review

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challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Beautiful and poignant look at mental health and mother/daughter relationships.

Our main character is Palestinian / American (never named), which leads to constant flashbacks to her summers in Palestine and her mothers own experience growing up. During the present timeline, our MC is dealing with her addiction to love, and her relationship with her mother who refuses to accept our MCs bisexuality. We see her learn to come to terms with her traumas, and create connections with those around her beyond her usual sexual and obsessive ones. 

There is a lot of beautiful and personal introspection throughout the text, but it all gets lost with the constant time jumps. At times they all feel separate from each other, and it leaves you with a sense of vagueness, never truly getting to the root of each theme. The ending especially felt rushed, as we jump from relationship to relationship and the role of the mother (which seems to be the core relationship of the book) being put off to the side. 

I could definitely relate to the mother/daughter relationship, as it reminded me of my own. Especially in regards to being a bisexual woc whose mother dismisses, ignores, or at worse condemns their sexuality. I was also moved by the exploration of the mother as an individual outside of her role as mom to remind us that she is just human and not some evil manipulative monster. I simply wish that we had had more interactions between mother and daughter in the present and not only in the past.

I will say, the title of this book? to me was the most powerful statement made. I think in some ways, I wish the book lived up to the title. 

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hellichipmunk's review

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challenging emotional reflective tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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katharina90's review against another edition

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dark reflective slow-paced
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

2.0

The main character is unlikeable and frustrating. She treats others horribly, but throws a fit when she receives the same treatment. 

The trauma at the root of her harmful choices isn't explored in a way that works for me, and without seeing much of a change in behavior I found it difficult to care. 

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throwback682's review against another edition

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emotional slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

A bisexual Palestinian American codependent woman acts out her relationship with her abusive mother against various romantic partners. 

This book seemed to drag and then ended pretty abruptly. I didn’t really care about the protagonist; she wasn’t very sympathetic. But maybe she’s too much like me, I don’t know. 

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kvokolek's review against another edition

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reflective
  • Loveable characters? No

2.5


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dangselena's review

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dark reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

The timeline jumped around so much with little context so it was a bit hard to read. Side characters weren’t fleshed out enough to feel meaningful. The MC isn’t like able, which is fine, but there wasn’t much of a plot besides her being horrible to other people. 

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noahsingh's review

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reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Interesting but couldn't hack the sheer amount of annoying men the main character was attached/attracted to.
The main interesting aspects to me (Palestinian heritage + relationship with their mother + the instances of Islamophobia/ acism & Zionism she faces) had very little space in the book.

Also I do think her outing that woman was unforgivable and I Hate Hate Hated that that (trigger warning) literal rapist white guy at The Lodge is, if anything, forgiven/absolved by the narrative. 

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bashsbooks's review

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emotional funny reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Enjoyed this book well enough. It was a nice exploration of the difference between love and obsession, the dysfunction between mother and daughter strewn across cultures, and those cultures that the daughter feels stretched between. 

I found the characters to be complex and well-fleshed, suited for the concepts they were exploring. I thought that who got names and who didn't was compelling and thought-provoking detail. 

That said, I think that it was somewhat lacking in balance in the scenes in which it spent lots of time with versus the times and places it skipped through. And I felt like the thread of the Ledge and the mental health aspect fell out of the plot a bit awkwardly. 

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kathleenivy's review

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emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25


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jourdanicus's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I didn't expect this book to speak to my mommy issues so much buuuut... That's what resonated with me most from it.

As a white gal who grew up with a toxic mother, it has always interested me how women from other cultures (especially those where filial loyalty/community are more prioritized) approach relationships with their narcissistic mothers. I feel this novel gave me some insight into that, and fit into my current interest in reading from the Palestinian diaspora.

The characters here are deeply humanized; not always likeable or agreeable, but that gives them even more depth. Toward the end (80-90% in the audio) I found myself wondering where the story was going, but I think part of the point of a book like this is that it doesn't have to "go" anywhere. Life doesn't tie up in a neat bow and roll the credits, relationships are complicated and don't always come with tidy ends or easy answers, and Arafat illustrated that well with this book's direction and conclusion.

I think I'll be thinking about this one for a while.

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