Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

94 reviews

archiveofrasa's review

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reflective slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

despite this book not necessarily being a 5-star read for me, I'm really glad I read it. I have this urge to give it a higher rating with every other review I'm seeing at the moment, but I'm sticking to 4 stars.

no matter how unlikable this (unnamed) main character is, she feels so real on the page. she's contradictory, absolutely messy in the sense that if she was gen Z I know her peers would shun her online, and she's in so much unacknowledged pain. she unravels this pain slowly, empathetically that when she starts admitting it bit by bit, I felt this satisfaction growing, even though she continues to be flawed.
maybe it's just me, but whenever she cheated, it wasn't like she was actively justifying it. I feel like a lot of people are implying this, but it's more matter of fact, described like an addiction, which is essentially what it is for this character.


going into this book, I expected to see more vignettes with her mother, but on my annotating reread, I realised her mother was indeed there, just in between the lines. that's ultimately what this book is about: the main character's relationship with her mother and how that's impacted her throughout the questionable choices she makes. the connections this has to her Palestinian roots, diaspora experiences, her sexuality and generally just lack of community, they were so interesting and heartbreaking. reading Arafat's interviews about this book definitely confirmed my thoughts on quite a few aspects of the novel and while there is a lot of subtlety I feel like went over my head, I really enjoyed it!

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lebishop13's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Despite adoring the title, I didn't feel like this book delivered more than "this was fine" to me. It felt like a heavy-handed take on generational trauma that maybe a younger me would have liked. Also, I think that unlikable protagonists are just not my jam.

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coffeenoldbooks's review

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Read for Pages4Palestine readathon

I first want to say that I really enjoyed this book and wasn’t what I was expecting. This book has a flawed protagonist who discusses their journey of being a bisexual Palestinian American who suffers from addiction and anorexia. She goes through her self destructive habits and trying to better herself even after sabotaging her relationships one after the other. She discovers a lot of her root cause is a very emotionally unavailable mother whom she craved love and affection from. 

The bulk of the story is told while she is in rehab with flashbacks on where things went wrong for her and the decisions she made that she seemed to regret. She talks about her mother’s past and her childhood where she grew up in an occupied state and married young and gave up a lot of her dreams to only end up emotionally detached and regretting many things. We see how the protagonist understands this but does not pardon her mother for not being there and providing the love and affection she needed herself.

Other points of note in the book are talks of her feeling othered in many ways. Never feeling like she has a place to fit in. She is a Palestinian American and doesn’t fully feel like she fits in the American world but also not an Arabic world either. She feels like she has no place she truly belongs and it makes her longing for love an affection much deeper; craving some sense of belonging. 

The one thing I do truly wish there was more talk about is the last relationship she has with Anouk. I’d love to know more of how they were able to come to trust eachother and find the love she was craving. 

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and recommend it. I’d say to check some trigger warnings beforehand.

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hellichipmunk's review

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challenging emotional reflective tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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saraellenme's review against another edition

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medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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nikia4's review

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challenging emotional funny reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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katharina90's review against another edition

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dark reflective slow-paced
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

2.0

The main character is unlikeable and frustrating. She treats others horribly, but throws a fit when she receives the same treatment. 

The trauma at the root of her harmful choices isn't explored in a way that works for me, and without seeing much of a change in behavior I found it difficult to care. 

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bkschwartz's review

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challenging emotional funny medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Bookclub read, probably not one I would have chosen. It was very well written though. The story pops between present day and memories constantly. The lead is messy, a complex woman who self sabotages.

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baguettegay's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny hopeful lighthearted medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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throwback682's review against another edition

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emotional slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

A bisexual Palestinian American codependent woman acts out her relationship with her abusive mother against various romantic partners. 

This book seemed to drag and then ended pretty abruptly. I didn’t really care about the protagonist; she wasn’t very sympathetic. But maybe she’s too much like me, I don’t know. 

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