Reviews tagging 'Outing'

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

16 reviews

saraellenme's review against another edition

medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Infidelity, Biphobia, Addiction, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Eating disorder, Alcohol, Xenophobia, and Adult/minor relationship

Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Outing, War, and Toxic relationship

noahsingh's review

reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Interesting but couldn't hack the sheer amount of annoying men the main character was attached/attracted to.
The main interesting aspects to me (Palestinian heritage + relationship with their mother + the instances of Islamophobia/ acism & Zionism she faces) had very little space in the book.

Also I do think her outing that woman was unforgivable and I Hate Hate Hated that that (trigger warning) literal rapist white guy at The Lodge is, if anything, forgiven/absolved by the narrative. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Eating disorder, War, Lesbophobia, Physical abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Islamophobia, Colonisation, Confinement, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Racism, and Alcoholism

Moderate: Rape, Emotional abuse, Outing, Pedophilia, Addiction, Self harm, Sexual violence, Colonisation, Drug abuse, and Sexual assault

Minor: Fatphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Body shaming, Biphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Torture, and Rape

yasidiaz's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Our unnamed narrator is a young Palestinian-American woman who struggles with a love addiction, as well as a complicated relationship with her mother, and the intersection of her identities. Through a series of vignettes, we see what led her to this point and her tumultuous journey to recovery. 

This was a challenging book, the narrator is way too far from perfect, but you want her to get better. Reading through her trauma and the mistakes she makes along the way is difficult to go through. It’s very different from my usual reads. It’s serious, complicated, sad, a far cry from my fluffy preferences. 

It’s beautifully written and hard to stop reading. However, it’s not a book I find myself re-reading any time soon. It’s not a book I will be grabbing and thinking about constantly. And that’s fine. I’m not the type to usually reach for literary and serious books, it doesn’t make it any less of a good book. I am glad to have read this book, it’s a very reflective and stunning book. 

And in a time where Palestinians are being dehumanized, genocided, and silenced, it makes this book even more necessary. We need to read more from Palestinians, support them, make them known, and make them heard. 

 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Islamophobia, Lesbophobia, Eating disorder, Biphobia, and Homophobia

Minor: Outing

binevolentbookworm's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

 “It is a bizarre and unsettling feeling, to exist in a liminal state between two realms, unable to attain full access to one or the other.”

i finally got around to reading this book and many have shared incredible and varying reviews, so this is less a formal review of mine, and more the feelings it dredged up for me articulated. (this is more personal than i usually get, so i thank you for endeavoring and enduring.)

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i hear all of the time from friends, readers, movie goers, etc., “the main character was very unlikeable, but i liked her.” 

so what is it about these people, most often women, who fit into the “unlikeable” character trope that makes us still, in the end, like them? i found myself contemplating this while reading YOU EXIST TOO MUCH, where the unnamed main character, a twenty something american palestinian woman, struggles with the “liminal state” of her identity and belonging; contributing to her self-destructivism, constant breaking of moral codes and only sometimes showing remorse (but only when she’s caught), along with her journey of healing. i got to about half way through the book and made a note in my reading journal here, “everyone talks about what an unlikable character she is, but i actually like her. i see some of my own behaviors reflected back at me, opening me up to forgiving myself for who i was in my early 20s.”

i wonder, when we read these books, or see these characters in tv, are we simply feeding into a voyeuristic nature? the parts of ourselves that enjoy bad reality television, rubbernecking, watching someone hurt themselves for the laugh (because yes, i am but a millennial who grew up watching jackass). is reading about self-destructing characters, or unlikeable women, the “safe” way to feed into that desire and, in turn, feel that we haven’t compromised our own morality?

i find, from a personal stance, that in many of these characters and their stories, i see etchings of my own weak moments, my own flaws, the most difficult parts of my own human nature reflected back at me. and while what makes these characters unlikable is flagrant, the circumstances often bizarre and over the top – the offenses not exactly as i have done or would actually do – they are still reminiscent, echos of moments i’m not proud of.

at first, all we see is a debauched, or maybe gross, apathetic character - someone who makes so many of the wrong decisions, hurts people seemingly with no mind of the outcome, but over the course of these stories, we are also given a framework for this, allowed a look into their mind in the midst of the pages, and we can step back, see the how and the why of these characters and their identities. sometimes they are given redemption arcs and we have the opportunity to forgive, and sometimes we’re left wanting, the end 'living rent free' in our minds, and we’re never in control of that, but we are in control of our own narrative. 

in YOU EXIST TOO MUCH much of the main character’s exact experiences were unlike my own and quite frankly, she needed therapy beyond a month long stint in love addiction rehab, but i still found myself drawn to empathy and compassion, despite her constant actions to provoke otherwise, because she reflected  back at me some of my darker thoughts and moments in life. it made me see that i am growing into enjoying reading these stories, and allowing space for these flawed characters to work up the more uncomfortable feelings in myself.

if you enjoyed this book, and want to read more books featuring unlikeable women, i recommend Luster, Milk Fed, and Nevada. bonus, if you want to take a break from reading - watch Fleabag! 

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other notes:

if you haven’t read this, check the CW.

i recognize that this book is written within the diasporic context and experience of an american palestinian woman, and while i chose to focus on the aspect of her unlikeability, it is important to note that the character's experience is influenced heavily by this fact. this is not the book that will educate you on the history of palestine. i applaud zaina arafat for having written this book in such a way that expects readers to have an understanding of palestinian history, and does not spoon feed the reader information that they should already know. i am glad i put off reading this until now, because in truth, i did not know much about the history of palestine prior to october.

 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Eating disorder, Alcoholism, Emotional abuse, Outing, Domestic abuse, and Sexual content

Minor: War

radiant_radish's review

dark emotional reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.75

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Islamophobia, Eating disorder, Sexism, Rape, Toxic relationship, Racism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Misogyny, Outing, and Homophobia

kathleenivy's review

emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Infidelity, Biphobia, Eating disorder, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Racial slurs, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Sexual content, Lesbophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Death, Colonisation, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Mental illness, and Religious bigotry

Minor: Drug abuse, Genocide, Racism, Alcoholism, and Outing

readingwithkaitlyn's review

emotional reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Homophobia, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, and Child abuse

Moderate: Racism, Gaslighting, Physical abuse, Outing, Abandonment, Misogyny, Eating disorder, Sexual content, Domestic abuse, Addiction, and Grief

Minor: Pregnancy, Body shaming, Alcohol, Colonisation, Genocide, Drug abuse, Drug use, Injury/Injury detail, Death, Pedophilia, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Blood, Classism, Xenophobia, War, Religious bigotry, and Police brutality

DUI.

skudiklier's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

I was really engaged with this--after I got through the beginning bits and got properly into the story, I read almost the whole thing in a day. I found the protagonist relatable in a messy she-needs-help kind of way, and some of her struggles with things like abandonment and generational trauma were hard to read, but in a good way. I like the way the timeline jumps around and you don't find out things in chronological order, and I also like how the book addresses why the narrator's mom is the way she is, without excusing the way she treats the narrator. I'd recommend this book but I'd also definitely say to look at the content warnings first, since this book can get pretty heavy at times.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexism, Toxic relationship, Cursing, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Abandonment, Homophobia, Addiction, Eating disorder, Infidelity, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, War, Drug abuse, Racism, Outing, Self harm, Sexual content, Death, and Pedophilia

Minor: Alcoholism, Sexual assault, Blood, Suicide, and Pregnancy

karabeavis's review

adventurous informative lighthearted sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

I flew through this book in a weekend. Super easy to read! I closed the last page thinking this was a story with a lot of pain — one that’s very sad because

the main character’s mother ultimately does not accept her daughter as she is, queer. The mother is terribly emotionally abusive towards her daughter throughout her life.

Perhaps this is realistic, but that aspect of the story does not improve. It offers an insight into survival as a young adult after emotional abuse and neglect from parents and intergenerational trauma: something others will probably relate to.

These are the voices and lives I want more of: queer, Palestinian-American, young, global citizens, educated. There is such an under—representation of these kinds of stories in so—called Australia. I felt privileged to get insights into the lives of people that are pretty different from my own. 

Plus it’s just a cool book. Despite heavy content in places, the book manages to be incredibly light—hearted, fun, sexy and sharp, with wry political observations about racism, whites privilege etc. 

As Professor Roxane Gay says, the book is sexy and compelling. Thank you to the author for this book. I’d definitely read another by this author. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Homophobia, Toxic relationship, War, Infidelity, Child abuse, Eating disorder, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Grief, and Outing

mscalls's review

challenging dark emotional tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Genocide, Infidelity, Outing, Toxic relationship, Islamophobia, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Lesbophobia, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Colonisation, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, and Eating disorder