Reviews tagging 'Miscarriage'

The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui

53 reviews

swimmingwolf59's review

emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.0

I think this is a really good book on the challenges of family and motherhood, and a really interesting look at a family escaping Vietnam during the war. The art is beautiful and haunting. But I definitely should've read the content warnings on this one lol. While I appreciate that pregnancy and childbirth and motherhood isn't like glorified in this, I also could've done without the 30 pages of graphic pregnancy at the beginning.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pregnancy and Infidelity

Moderate: Violence

Minor: Miscarriage

wanderlust_romance's review

challenging emotional hopeful informative reflective fast-paced

5.0

What an amazing and moving memoir. Everything from the artwork to the deeply personal storytelling was engaging, thoughtful, and emotional. The art is a layering of ink and woodcut style drawings with undercurrents of brown and orange watercolors. It is a stark but not monochromatic depiction of scenes that aligns very well with the story being told. At its heart, The Best We Could Do is a story of parental and family relationships. The narrative’s opening scene depicting the authors traumatic birthing experience sets the tone for the rest of the book: this is not going to be a comfortable read. And indeed it is challenging. The birth scene brings the narrative full circle at the end, with deeply personal and resonating reflections by Bui on being a parent. The midsection of the memoir goes into depth on Bui’s parent’s experiences growing up in French colonial Vietnam and the ensuing geopolitical conflicts that ensued. Relaying the challenges experienced by their parents adds insight into their approach to parenting in the midst of the conflict and afterwards in their life as immigrants in the US. Through the gathering of this insight, it made me pause to consider how much one really knows their parents. Do I know who my parents are as people, in a vein outside of their relationship to me as a caretaker? Is it possible to separate what I know of them as parents to understand who they are in an independent context? While not explicitly noted in the text, these are also questions that Bui considers with depth in gathering their parents deeply personal and fraught histories. With this renewed insight into the Bui family’s history, Thi Bui reflects on their own journey as a parent. And at the end of such a deeply moving story, reminds readers of the refrain that many parents recognize in the challenges to raise humans. I did the best I could do.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: War

Moderate: Medical content, Xenophobia, Abandonment, Medical trauma, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, and Violence

Minor: Child death, Physical abuse, and Infidelity

drraytay's review

informative reflective sad fast-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Violence, Pregnancy, Domestic abuse, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Infidelity, Death, Child death, Rape, Abandonment, War, Colonisation, and Miscarriage

Minor: Fire/Fire injury

nitar8's review against another edition

adventurous challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Child death, Colonisation, War, Emotional abuse, Grief, Pregnancy, Classism, Abandonment, Death, and Miscarriage

paigehf's review against another edition

emotional informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pregnancy and Miscarriage

Moderate: Death, Child death, Child abuse, and War

Minor: Racism

njh_books's review against another edition

dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad fast-paced

5.0

Artwork is great.

The events flip back and forth between different time periods and adds to the story as Bui learns more about her parents’ and her own past while also trying to determine what it means for her present. 

Heartbreaking but also hopeful. The last scene with the son is truly thought provoking and beautiful.

My knowledge of Vietnam improved with this story as often events were discussed that I then looked into on my own.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Torture, Violence, Colonisation, Child death, Chronic illness, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Grief, Fire/Fire injury, Murder, Medical content, Death, Xenophobia, War, Injury/Injury detail, and Miscarriage

lprongs's review

informative reflective medium-paced

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Pregnancy, Death, Miscarriage, and War

Minor: Xenophobia, Vomit, Racial slurs, and Racism

koreanlinda's review

challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring tense fast-paced

4.25

I felt lots of pain by reading this book. The book is ridden with violence that Thi's family experienced in Vietnam. Thi's mother is the one who gets lots of focus for her pain from repeated miscarriages as well as pregnancies and deliveries during the war. Although the story and graphics are compelling, I could not shed so many "whys" while reading it. Why did Thi's mother keep getting pregnant in environments where it's dangerous for the mother and baby? Why did Thi's father not take care of his children in the absence of Thi's mother? It is hard to blame anyone in the story because they are all victims of extremely traumatic experiences; however, I couldn't help but feel resentful for adults with responsibilities.

I learned a lot about what Vietnamese and Vietnamese Americans went through in the last few generations. I recommend coupling this book with Year of the Rabbit by Tian Veasna, which talks about a painful part of Cambodian history around a similar time as this book. 

Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in Feb 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Violence, Miscarriage, Colonisation, and War

Moderate: Genocide, Child abuse, and Emotional abuse

caoxtina's review

emotional reflective sad medium-paced

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Violence and War

Moderate: Rape, Child death, and Miscarriage

kirkspockreads's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Colonisation, Gun violence, War, Violence, and Miscarriage

Moderate: Racial slurs, Murder, Infidelity, Fire/Fire injury, Blood, Abandonment, Abortion, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Grief, Racism, and Pregnancy