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njh_books's review against another edition
5.0
Heartbreaking but also hopeful. The last scene with the son is truly thought provoking and beautiful.
My knowledge of Vietnam improved with this story as often events were discussed that I then looked into on my own.
Graphic: Torture, Violence, Colonisation, Child death, Chronic illness, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Grief, Fire/Fire injury, Murder, Medical content, Death, Xenophobia, War, Injury/Injury detail, and Miscarriage
koreanlinda's review
4.25
I learned a lot about what Vietnamese and Vietnamese Americans went through in the last few generations. I recommend coupling this book with Year of the Rabbit by Tian Veasna, which talks about a painful part of Cambodian history around a similar time as this book.
Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in Feb 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda
Graphic: Violence, Miscarriage, Colonisation, and War
Moderate: Genocide, Child abuse, and Emotional abuse
caoxtina's review
4.0
Graphic: Violence and War
Moderate: Rape, Child death, and Miscarriage
kirkspockreads's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Colonisation, Gun violence, War, Violence, and Miscarriage
Moderate: Racial slurs, Murder, Infidelity, Fire/Fire injury, Blood, Abandonment, Abortion, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Grief, Racism, and Pregnancy
cecilie_who_reads's review
5.0
But her parents as children and young people are so well conveyed that you feel it could be you. The lack of safety, the repeated chock of having all plans overturned, sneaks in on you in your armchair. It invites the reader (and, as Thi Bui says, her own self too) to renewed respect for the survivors, even those that spend their days in a dark room, grumpy and unapproachable for apparently no reason.
Moderate: Violence, Domestic abuse, Death, War, Miscarriage, and Abandonment
Minor: Mental illness, Mass/school shootings, Drug use, Vomit, Xenophobia, and Racial slurs
Starvation, persecution, and hiding alone in the darkness in small spaces are also part of the story. Read it, but hold someone's hand.moon_dude's review
4.0
Graphic: Violence and War
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Grief, and Child death
odetojersey's review
4.0
Graphic: Colonisation, Miscarriage, War, Child death, Death, Death of parent, Violence, and Grief
alixsbooktherapy's review
4.5
Bo cheated on his wife while the kids were in the house they saw the women naked and had lots of questions
Thi used to get weird calls from creepy men saying really inappropate things to her as a kid she used to read her dads paraphernalia memorizing all the pictures
The kids childhoods weren't your average childhoods they watched the exorcis at 5 years old (definitely not a movie for kids)
I hate that we go into the "to understand how my father became the way he was I had to learn what happend to him as a little boy" that's no excuse for what he did. Or how he wasn't a good dad
We learn alot about the past and how growing up back then is 10x different then it is now
Bo was raised in the jungle at the time in 1940 during the world war 2
Bos dad cheated on his mom with the neighbor at the end of the street and when she asked about it she was screamed at
Bo watched one night as his father beat his mother badly and threw her out of the house in 1945 at the height of the famine
Her mom hit the kids and the servants
Back in these times kids were forced to work if you didn't work then you were seen as lazy
Bos grandfather had cheated on his grandma, the fight escalted into her falling and cutting open her head on the door which Bo had to take her to the hostipal the next Day Bos grandma left Bos grandfather his grandfather when they arrives in sài gón tried to ask bos grandma "let's make a new home together " after what he did to her thankfully she said "no I don't need you" so fricken proud of her but sooner then later the diêms forces ended up fighting with others and it led to Bos grandmothers doorstep making her lose her securites and more scared of violence she agreed to go back to her cheating husband
"And there in 1962 I met your mother"
Thi's mom "besides the very first year, I met Bo and that was it he just monopolized me, it was like I was married from the very first year of college'
It was wholesome that Bo and thi's mom after they lost their first kid remembered the movie they went to and the place they both wanted to go, it became a place they went for a time to forget but also a brief honeymoon period
This book was so beautiful we got to learn about Thi's parents and her journey as a mom
When thi had her baby they ended up with jaundice so her and her partner were only allowed to see their kid for 20 minutes enough time to feed him then go back sleep for 90 minutes and do it again
The nurse when thi's baby was allowed to go home helped Thi breastfeed her baby as it didn't work the first try and it successfully worked
"To accidentally call myself mẹ was to slip myself into her shoes just for a moment"
"To let her be not what I want her to be but someone independent, self- determining, and free,means letting go of that picture of her in my head."
"What becomes of us after we die? Do we live on in what we leave our children?"
This book is a must read and I mean it this was a book that broke my heart then healed it again this was so beautiful thank you to Thi Bui for writing this beautiful book!
Graphic: Infertility, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Rape, Sexual assault, Body shaming, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Kidnapping, Medical content, Sexual harassment, Child abuse, Abandonment, Blood, Gore, Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Miscarriage, Murder, Cursing, Death of parent, Gaslighting, Grief, Gun violence, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Abortion, Bullying, Child death, Death, Fire/Fire injury, Religious bigotry, Sexual content, Slavery, Torture, and Violence
distractible's review
3.75
Moderate: Abandonment, Child death, War, Grief, Colonisation, and Pregnancy
Minor: Violence, Fire/Fire injury, Infidelity, and Child abuse
readwithev's review against another edition
4.5
Bui talks about how challenging it was to get to know her parents, but she uncovers their origins and begins separating her expectations of them. It felt very healing and vulnerable. Bui delves into her childhood and the things she’s still healing from and beginning to see in differently now that she’s a parent.
Moderate: Blood, Genocide, Miscarriage, War, and Violence
Minor: Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Infidelity, and Colonisation