Take a photo of a barcode or cover
492 reviews for:
Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
Meghan Daum
3.65 AVERAGE
492 reviews for:
Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
Meghan Daum
3.65 AVERAGE
challenging
emotional
funny
informative
reflective
hopeful
inspiring
fast-paced
I don’t want children. I entertained the thought as a teen, but quickly set it aside when I realized that the idea of having children induced the same sense of claustrophobic dread as an impending maths exam did.
My reasons for not wanting children have evolved over the last decade, but I’m only now at the point where I don’t feel the need to explain that decision to anyone. My spouse has gone through his own journey regarding children, but we ended up in the same space, content with our decision.
There essays in this collection are so varied; some of them were heartrending, some annoyingly tongue-in-cheek, and others mirrored my thought process so precisely that my pencil broke from underlining passages so deeply.
My reasons for not wanting children have evolved over the last decade, but I’m only now at the point where I don’t feel the need to explain that decision to anyone. My spouse has gone through his own journey regarding children, but we ended up in the same space, content with our decision.
There essays in this collection are so varied; some of them were heartrending, some annoyingly tongue-in-cheek, and others mirrored my thought process so precisely that my pencil broke from underlining passages so deeply.
As with any anthology, I liked some more than others, but overall it's a good collection that I'd definitely recommend to anyone who doesn't want kids, or is on the fence about having kids. There's an interesting variety of perspectives and attitudes.
(If you already have kids there's probably not much here for you.)
(If you already have kids there's probably not much here for you.)
emotional
informative
reflective
slow-paced
A lot of good points are brought up here. And as a whole, I believe that people should really worry about their own lives and not try to influence someone else's especially with something that's such a personal and life-altering decision.
Loved reading all of these writer's opinions on a topic which is not talked about in an open environment. I think this will make for a very interesting discussion!
This is an essay collection, wherein sixteen writers - 13 women, 3 men - have made the decision to not have children. The reasons they came to make that choice vary widely. Some based on their traumatic upbringing, others on their mental health, and some because they did not find anything remotely appealing about becoming a parent. I did not agree with everything that was written in these pages, and in fact one essay made me downright angry, but what I did feel as I read further and further on was a sense of relief.
I'll skip the years of thought I've put into this subject and simply say that at this point in my life I do not want children, with a reasoning as nuanced and complex as many of these authors. I haven't hidden this conclusion from people, but nor have I freely discussed it. When I have most people have responded with a faint jolt of surprise, followed by trepidation and uncertainty with how to respond. And then I feel nervous and guilty and usually try to explain always ending with 'and who knows maybe I'll change my mind some day'.
Reading the words of others who felt the same as I do was comforting and wonderful. It's nice to know a misfit like me is not entirely alone!
I'll skip the years of thought I've put into this subject and simply say that at this point in my life I do not want children, with a reasoning as nuanced and complex as many of these authors. I haven't hidden this conclusion from people, but nor have I freely discussed it. When I have most people have responded with a faint jolt of surprise, followed by trepidation and uncertainty with how to respond. And then I feel nervous and guilty and usually try to explain always ending with 'and who knows maybe I'll change my mind some day'.
Reading the words of others who felt the same as I do was comforting and wonderful. It's nice to know a misfit like me is not entirely alone!
Daum edits this collection of sixteen writers as they discuss the topic of being childfree. I've talked before on this blog about my decision to be childfree and other books within this realm. I liked the diversity of takes in Daum's anthology. Some, I really connected with, others I felt were annoying, and some gave me new ways of thinking about being childfree. I appreciate this mix and it does include three males writing on the subject. Again, I would prefer some of these works to be more balanced because in part, I think the male's voice about being childfree is equally useful to be heard and contribute to the conversation. Regardless, I'm happy with the selections as they provide a diverse range of thinking about what it means to be childfree and how people happily live their lives.
An interesting set of essays, some more thought-provoking than others, all well-written. The angle of career authors writing meant good writing, but not the most diverse set of stories, but eh, pros and cons. A couple made me go "ick" (one author talked about how said she would be to see white people in America disappear, but at least as a minority we'd have rights?), but in general, a totally acceptable read, especially considering I don't know how many other books are on the subject.
Skip forward to Danielle Henderson's essay. She is a genius and an amazing human being and her essay nails it all.