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angelofthetardis's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Adam Silvera's trademark style of sensitively exploring the discovering and acceptance of sexuality through the lens of a teenage boy, complete with a sci-fi twist is on full display here, and it makes for a beautifully written, heart-wrenching, terrifying-and-yet-completely-relatable read.
Aaron is a fairly typical teen on the surface - always playing ridiculous games with his mates, taking the girlfriend who adores him out on dates and writing his own comic book. But his life hasn't been easy - he has the scar on his wrist to prove that. I cannot fault the characterisation; Silvera's writing perfectly captures that balance of a person being "normal" on the outside and yet struggling with trauma and their own demons on the inside. His is definitely not a sugar-coated existence, and Silvera has a real knack for making his lead characters so incredibly real, which just makes the 'fantastical' element that much more engaging.
In this case, it's name-dropped a few times early on in the story, and if you've read the author's other works it's not hard to take a stab at guessing what might be on the horizon. But likewise, he's all about giving you hope. And in this case, the twists and turns are perfectly timed to keep you engaged and to keep that hope burning in your chest.
The secondary characters are also well drawn, but ultimately the more central they are to the story, the more fleshed out they are. This does mean that people like Aaron's mother, brother and his old friends are there and interesting, but they just don't have the same depth to them. In turn, as Aaron's interactions with them are important catalysts in the story, it does leave the whole work feeling just a little bit 'thin' for me. I could have done with perhaps another hundred pages where the background story was developed and explored in more detail. That being said, I can potentially see this issue as perhaps being a writing device, as it does sort of fit with the POV. Nevertheless, I still feel like I needed more.
In a roundabout way, this story explores what might happen if a person could be "cured" of homosexuality. IMO, what's there to cure?! It's a beautiful illustration of what the struggles people go through when discovering their own preferences might feel like, and how the temptation of 'normality' might appeal, but that who you are will shine through no matter what. It's also a study in acceptance; even the harshest of days contribute to who you are. I can't say it's an uplifting read, but it holds a powerful message.
Absolutely worth the read!
Aaron is a fairly typical teen on the surface - always playing ridiculous games with his mates, taking the girlfriend who adores him out on dates and writing his own comic book. But his life hasn't been easy - he has the scar on his wrist to prove that. I cannot fault the characterisation; Silvera's writing perfectly captures that balance of a person being "normal" on the outside and yet struggling with trauma and their own demons on the inside. His is definitely not a sugar-coated existence, and Silvera has a real knack for making his lead characters so incredibly real, which just makes the 'fantastical' element that much more engaging.
In this case, it's name-dropped a few times early on in the story, and if you've read the author's other works it's not hard to take a stab at guessing what might be on the horizon. But likewise, he's all about giving you hope. And in this case, the twists and turns are perfectly timed to keep you engaged and to keep that hope burning in your chest.
The secondary characters are also well drawn, but ultimately the more central they are to the story, the more fleshed out they are. This does mean that people like Aaron's mother, brother and his old friends are there and interesting, but they just don't have the same depth to them. In turn, as Aaron's interactions with them are important catalysts in the story, it does leave the whole work feeling just a little bit 'thin' for me. I could have done with perhaps another hundred pages where the background story was developed and explored in more detail. That being said, I can potentially see this issue as perhaps being a writing device, as it does sort of fit with the POV. Nevertheless, I still feel like I needed more.
In a roundabout way, this story explores what might happen if a person could be "cured" of homosexuality. IMO, what's there to cure?! It's a beautiful illustration of what the struggles people go through when discovering their own preferences might feel like, and how the temptation of 'normality' might appeal, but that who you are will shine through no matter what. It's also a study in acceptance; even the harshest of days contribute to who you are. I can't say it's an uplifting read, but it holds a powerful message.
Absolutely worth the read!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Hate crime, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Violence, Mental illness, Self harm, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Suicide, Cursing, Homophobia, Death, Death of parent, and Dementia
Minor: Pregnancy, Drug use, Infidelity, Sexual content, and Domestic abuse
jennboyack_scott's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Suicide, and Self harm
Moderate: Mental illness, Dementia, Physical abuse, Medical trauma, Drug use, Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Cursing, Alcohol, Toxic friendship, Medical content, Hate crime, and Injury/Injury detail
dinipandareads's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Please be treated to my 3:30am profanity-laced thoughts after immediately finishing this book. I'm not sorry! I was WRECKED!! đ
Holy fork, I was not ready for the magnitude of what-the-forkery this book would put me through. My head and heart are still reeling after finishing this and I donât quite know what to do with myself. This is not (exactly) a happy book despite what the title may imply. Oh... I canât get over how much Silvera has me forking turned around with this book! It hit so much harder than I expected it to, especially with the addition of the new chapter in this deluxe edition, and it had me aching with a longing for it to be so real. đ„ș I know this is a book that will stick with me for many years to comeâŠ
Honestly, thereâs not much that I can say about this that wonât give the story away and I donât know if itâs just my inability to see things coming in books, but I didnât expect the direction it took at all. Itâs a dark and depressing coming-of-age story that covers many deep subjects including homophobia, suicide/suicidal ideation, severe depression, domestic abuse, and amnesia amongst others. As much as I wanna say go into this not knowing what to expect in terms of the storyline, I would not pick this up if youâre not in the right headspace. <u>Please, please read the content and trigger warnings first!</u>
This has a slight magical realism/sci-fi element to it in the form of the Leteo Institute and its memory erasure/suppression procedure thatâll magic your bad memories away so that you can live your best life. The science and possibilities of it arenât very well explained or explored but I didnât mind because the central focus for me was on everything Aaron was experiencing in the now. Thereâs such a simple, evocative and enjoyable quality to Silveraâs writing that made it so easy for me to devour the pages. I practically finished this in one sitting (itâs currently 3:30am as I write thisâwho needs sleep, right?)! Although I was enjoying it enough until the 40% mark, I was admittedly a bit worried when it left me feeling slightly whelmed. But when the last few pages before Part Zero happened, it was like a flare went off and everything CLICKED and emotional combustion ensued.
I think another thing that made this book hit is that itâs so raw and the characters are so incredibly messy, confused, and volatile which makes them all the more realistic and relatable. The author breathes such life into these characters! My heart was torn apart reading Aaronâs story because it is like watching someone get hit over and over and over again. It's ugly and sad but also true. It hurt so much, even when heâs not always the most likeable character and there were plenty of times when I wanted to give him a good long shake but then I wanted to give him the biggest hug and protect him from everything. Thereâs so much anger, fear, sadness and desperationâsome people are really SO forking VILEâbut there is also a huge well of love, forgiveness, support and yes, happiness too. Silvera had me running the full gamut of emotions with this story that packs an immensely powerful punch!
Iâm so glad that I came across and bought this Deluxe edition because the "More Happy Ending" was the soothing balm I desperately needed, even as it made my tears keep flowing. All of you lovers of Aaron and his story deserve to read that last bit too. đ Iâm gonna forever be wondering how Aaronâs doing and if heâs okay. I seriously didnât expect to be bawling and snotty-ugly-crying to one of my first few reads of 2024 but HERE WE ARE. Thank you for your service, Adam Silvera!!!
Holy fork, I was not ready for the magnitude of what-the-forkery this book would put me through. My head and heart are still reeling after finishing this and I donât quite know what to do with myself. This is not (exactly) a happy book despite what the title may imply. Oh... I canât get over how much Silvera has me forking turned around with this book! It hit so much harder than I expected it to, especially with the addition of the new chapter in this deluxe edition, and it had me aching with a longing for it to be so real. đ„ș I know this is a book that will stick with me for many years to comeâŠ
Honestly, thereâs not much that I can say about this that wonât give the story away and I donât know if itâs just my inability to see things coming in books, but I didnât expect the direction it took at all. Itâs a dark and depressing coming-of-age story that covers many deep subjects including homophobia, suicide/suicidal ideation, severe depression, domestic abuse, and amnesia amongst others. As much as I wanna say go into this not knowing what to expect in terms of the storyline, I would not pick this up if youâre not in the right headspace. <u>Please, please read the content and trigger warnings first!</u>
This has a slight magical realism/sci-fi element to it in the form of the Leteo Institute and its memory erasure/suppression procedure thatâll magic your bad memories away so that you can live your best life. The science and possibilities of it arenât very well explained or explored but I didnât mind because the central focus for me was on everything Aaron was experiencing in the now. Thereâs such a simple, evocative and enjoyable quality to Silveraâs writing that made it so easy for me to devour the pages. I practically finished this in one sitting (itâs currently 3:30am as I write thisâwho needs sleep, right?)! Although I was enjoying it enough until the 40% mark, I was admittedly a bit worried when it left me feeling slightly whelmed. But when the last few pages before Part Zero happened, it was like a flare went off and everything CLICKED and emotional combustion ensued.
I think another thing that made this book hit is that itâs so raw and the characters are so incredibly messy, confused, and volatile which makes them all the more realistic and relatable. The author breathes such life into these characters! My heart was torn apart reading Aaronâs story because it is like watching someone get hit over and over and over again. It's ugly and sad but also true. It hurt so much, even when heâs not always the most likeable character and there were plenty of times when I wanted to give him a good long shake but then I wanted to give him the biggest hug and protect him from everything. Thereâs so much anger, fear, sadness and desperationâsome people are really SO forking VILEâbut there is also a huge well of love, forgiveness, support and yes, happiness too. Silvera had me running the full gamut of emotions with this story that packs an immensely powerful punch!
Iâm so glad that I came across and bought this Deluxe edition because the "More Happy Ending" was the soothing balm I desperately needed, even as it made my tears keep flowing. All of you lovers of Aaron and his story deserve to read that last bit too. đ Iâm gonna forever be wondering how Aaronâs doing and if heâs okay. I seriously didnât expect to be bawling and snotty-ugly-crying to one of my first few reads of 2024 but HERE WE ARE. Thank you for your service, Adam Silvera!!!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Medical content, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Death of parent, Cursing, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Homophobia, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Physical abuse, Injury/Injury detail, and Infidelity
Moderate: Sexual content
tragicgloom's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
childhood friend who moved away for years and finally came back
home.
Iâm more happy than not.
Donât forget me."
I won't forget you Aaron â€ïž
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Suicide attempt, Infidelity, Toxic friendship, Hate crime, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Death of parent, Grief, Violence, Death, and Homophobia
Moderate: Bullying and Medical content
Minor: Abandonment, Fatphobia, Pregnancy, and Drug use
frqnc22's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Taking such a long break from this book clearly wasnât good, but as soon as I grabbed the book months later, I dived right back into this dark and emotional world.
To sum everything up, I loved how real this book was and how it presented parts of everything Aaron had to go through in *painful* detail. I connected with his character and cried for him probably more than I expected.
(Aaron: âIâm sorry my past is so terrible I couldnât live in it anymore.â)
For some time I thought Aaron and Thomas were gonna be endgame. Iâm not good at predicting whatâs gonna happen in books, movies or TV shows, so I didnât really expect them to not get together. But, in the end, I actually like this aspect of the story (Aaron: âHe loves me without being in love with me.â) Their relationship developed so nicely through the book. They deserve each other, because of how supportive, understanding and helpful they are. And I think this counts as a happy ending for them, since their friendship remains.
As for the topics showed in this book, I truly didnât expect the memory erasing procedure and the great amount of pain that came with it. I expected the story to leave me with a bittersweet feeling, but clearly didnât expect such an introspective look on depression, homosexuality or memory loss. Iâm glad I didnât figure out what was gonna happen, because I was amazed by the storytelling. It is worth mentioning that I loved the flashbacks and where they were placed!
The sad reality depicted in the book, homophobia, was hard to read, especially all the fights and slurs. (Aaron: âThis is what death feels like, I think.â) Itâs hard to even imagine something as traumatic as Aaronâs life, and learning to accept yourself in a situation like his sounds nearly impossible. His whole life changed drastically just because he was brave enough to show his family the real Aaron. The fact that this also happens in real life makes everything worse.
All relationships broke my heart at some point, and some werenât healthy for the people involved, but they were significant to Aaronâs personal growth. He constantly seeks acceptance and comfort (what we all deserve from those we love) from right people (Thomas: âJust remember that I love the hell out of you, okay?â) or sometimes from the wrong people (like Collin, who called crying âlittle-b*tch tears because guys donât cryâ), but he realized that he deserves to be at peace with himself.
He made mistakes, but the most important thing is learning from them and understanding what he did wrong in the first place. Fortunately, he understands and tries to do better (Aaron: âThe problem was that I didnât know any better because I forgot my life. And now I know I canât forget.â) Iâm glad he is on good terms with Genevieve after everything that happened between them. He shouldnât have been with Collin behind her back and she shouldnât have stayed with him just to pretend he wasnât gay. Theyâre both aware of their mistakes now.
As for the ending, I didnât expect another traumatizing experience for Aaron, but I learnt that this is not a happy bookđđ» However, he is so strong for dealing with his amnesia in the way that he does, by living each day however he can (Aaron: âMy life isnât one sad ending - itâs a series of endless happy beginnings.)
His way of thinking is truly inspiring, even though I was crying while reading the final pages. Truly an emotional rollercoaster, but Aaronâs development is everything! Being âmore happy than notâ seems difficult to achieve, but heâs doing his best, after going through the worst.
âDonât forget me.â
To sum everything up, I loved how real this book was and how it presented parts of everything Aaron had to go through in *painful* detail. I connected with his character and cried for him probably more than I expected.
As for the topics showed in this book, I truly didnât expect the memory erasing procedure and the great amount of pain that came with it. I expected the story to leave me with a bittersweet feeling, but clearly didnât expect such an introspective look on depression, homosexuality or memory loss. Iâm glad I didnât figure out what was gonna happen, because I was amazed by the storytelling. It is worth mentioning that I loved the flashbacks and where they were placed!
The sad reality depicted in the book, homophobia, was hard to read, especially all the fights and slurs. (Aaron: âThis is what death feels like, I think.â) Itâs hard to even imagine something as traumatic as Aaronâs life, and learning to accept yourself in a situation like his sounds nearly impossible. His whole life changed drastically just because he was brave enough to show his family the real Aaron. The fact that this also happens in real life makes everything worse.
All relationships broke my heart at some point, and some werenât healthy for the people involved, but they were significant to Aaronâs personal growth.
He made mistakes, but the most important thing is learning from them and understanding what he did wrong in the first place. Fortunately, he understands and tries to do better
As for the ending, I didnât expect another traumatizing experience for Aaron, but I learnt that this is not a happy bookđđ»
His way of thinking is truly inspiring, even though I was crying while reading the final pages. Truly an emotional rollercoaster, but Aaronâs development is everything! Being âmore happy than notâ seems difficult to achieve, but heâs doing his best, after going through the worst.
âDonât forget me.â
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Homophobia, Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Bullying, and Hate crime
Moderate: Death of parent, Gaslighting, Blood, Toxic relationship, Suicide, and Grief
Minor: Infidelity
caro_las's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Violence
Minor: Sexual content, Medical trauma, Toxic friendship, Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Injury/Injury detail, Dementia, and Bullying
alice17bex's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide attempt, Homophobia, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Injury/Injury detail, Hate crime, Physical abuse, Suicide, and Self harm
ingridmaria's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
This book stuck hard in my head for days. It surprised me, but not in a shock-value way. The internalised homophobia was so real and I really need to re-read it knowin the ending. I didnât read the deluxe edition, but apparently I should have because of the extra chapter seeing as this one ends so unhappily. But then again that might take away from why I liked it so much</spoilers>. Knocked a quarter point off because the first 70 pages could (maybe should) have been 30.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Death of parent, Hate crime, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Suicide, Self harm, Suicide attempt, Violence, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Infidelity
Minor: Cursing, Vomit, Drug use, Child abuse, Child death, and Dementia
kalin_grace's review against another edition
dark
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Death of parent, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Bullying, Child death, Dementia, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Medical trauma, Physical abuse, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Fatphobia
Minor: Abandonment
maryy_r0se's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
"Memories: some can be sucker punching, others carry you forward; some stay with you forever, others you forget on your own. You can't really know which ones you'll survive if you don't stay on the battlefield, bad times shooting at you like bullets. But if you're lucky, you'll have plenty of good times to shield you."
**note: I read this as part of an ongoing project to read and critique young adult books that include themes of mental illness**
High schooler Aaron Soto is on the path to recovering from his father's suicide and his own suicide attempt. With Gen, his free-spirited and loving girlfriend at his side, he is ready to move forward, even when the pain feels overwhelming. His progress gets derailed when he befriends Thomas, a quirky kid with a love of movies and no real direction in life. Aaron feels connected to Thomas in a confusing way that seems to transcend friendship. Add to that his community's mounting tension over the Leteo Institute, a controversial medical practice that claims to suppress distressing memories, and Aaron begins to find himself in a freefall that may very well be his undoing.
There is a lot to like about this book. I don't regularly read young adult novels, so it took me a while to adjust to the writing style. However, Silvera achieves at writing a main character who is deeply flawed and yet the reader can still root for. The pacing was inconsistent at parts, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it in the first half, but the second half really picked up for me.I found myself genuinely shocked at the plot twist.
The comparisons to Eternal Sunshine are certainly warranted, and at times I did wonder if it felt close enough to the movie to dull my enjoyment of the book; it is not a rip off by any means, but didn't fully grip my attention because of the occasional inkling of "haven't I heard this before?" I kept waiting for Thomas, the book's resident movie buff, to bring up the Eternal Sunshine connection. That said, I have very little experience with sci fi content, and perhaps if I did I would simply see this as a common enough trope that it wouldn't stand out.
I read the version with the altered ending, and while I think I personally would have appreciated the original ending a tad more, considering it is a teen book I think adding the extra chapter was the right move. I was left with a major question at the end:was the Jordan that Aaron met in group therapy somehow supposed to be the same Jordan that shot and killed Kenneth? It could have just been a different character with the same name, but it seemed a bit odd that Silvera would have two characters with the same name and no explanation. Group Therapy Jordan also mentioned his sister at least twice, which seemed relevant because Other Jordan killed Kenneth because of his sister. And while Group Therapy Jordan's backstory didn't align with Other Jordan's, both Group Therapy Jordan and Aaron had been given the Leteo procedure so maybe their memories were still corrupt in some way? But in that case, wouldn't someone like Eric or Gen have recognized Jordan when he came to the birthday party? I kept waiting for another twist or at least some sort of explanation, but it never came. This was especially confusing to me because the author went out of his way when explaining the two Daves and the two Aarons.
I read this book to screen it for a library booklist I am making regarding teen mental health books, and I have decided to approve it for the list. Despite some flaws, I think it shows a nuanced perspective on familial suicide and mental health, while also providing representation to often unrepresented groups.
**note: I read this as part of an ongoing project to read and critique young adult books that include themes of mental illness**
High schooler Aaron Soto is on the path to recovering from his father's suicide and his own suicide attempt. With Gen, his free-spirited and loving girlfriend at his side, he is ready to move forward, even when the pain feels overwhelming. His progress gets derailed when he befriends Thomas, a quirky kid with a love of movies and no real direction in life. Aaron feels connected to Thomas in a confusing way that seems to transcend friendship. Add to that his community's mounting tension over the Leteo Institute, a controversial medical practice that claims to suppress distressing memories, and Aaron begins to find himself in a freefall that may very well be his undoing.
There is a lot to like about this book. I don't regularly read young adult novels, so it took me a while to adjust to the writing style. However, Silvera achieves at writing a main character who is deeply flawed and yet the reader can still root for. The pacing was inconsistent at parts, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it in the first half, but the second half really picked up for me.
The comparisons to Eternal Sunshine are certainly warranted, and at times I did wonder if it felt close enough to the movie to dull my enjoyment of the book; it is not a rip off by any means, but didn't fully grip my attention because of the occasional inkling of "haven't I heard this before?" I kept waiting for Thomas, the book's resident movie buff, to bring up the Eternal Sunshine connection. That said, I have very little experience with sci fi content, and perhaps if I did I would simply see this as a common enough trope that it wouldn't stand out.
I read the version with the altered ending, and while I think I personally would have appreciated the original ending a tad more, considering it is a teen book I think adding the extra chapter was the right move. I was left with a major question at the end:
I read this book to screen it for a library booklist I am making regarding teen mental health books, and I have decided to approve it for the list. Despite some flaws, I think it shows a nuanced perspective on familial suicide and mental health, while also providing representation to often unrepresented groups.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Hate crime, Homophobia, Medical content, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Violence
Moderate: Alcohol, Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Injury/Injury detail, and Self harm
Minor: Gun violence and Pregnancy