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casskrug's review
whew this is a tough book to find words for. this is not a book that i would casually recommend due to the content. the first 30 pages of this book, where butler describes in detail the end of his wife’s life, were so harrowing that i had to put the book down for a few days. he then examines the beginning of their relationship, its many ups and downs over the years, molly’s childhood and family life, and the complex grief he felt after she took her own life. i cried at the way blake describes everything he loves and admires about molly. it was tough to read about the way both of them struggled with their mental health. there is a level of honesty and rawness in this book that i don’t think i’ve encountered before.
many readers have pointed out the gray area that this book lives in, due to the things that butler has revealed about molly now that she is no longer here to tell her side of the story. i’m struggling to figure out where i stand on the issue. where is the line of demarcation between blake’s story and molly’s? is it right for him to divulge the affairs that she kept secret while she was alive, that he only found out about after her death? i’m not sure. i think he has a right to tell the story of his grief, but i’m not sure we as readers needed the intimate details of what molly was doing in private.
one other thing i will say is that i wish this book was edited a bit better. butler obviously has a way with words, but i found many of the sentences lost their clarity because they were overwritten. this might be petty but there were grammar and spelling issues that made it difficult to understand at times.
i don’t think i can really give this a rating. it is an immensely difficult read, so personal - making me understand why a lot of people choose not to rate nonfiction.
many readers have pointed out the gray area that this book lives in, due to the things that butler has revealed about molly now that she is no longer here to tell her side of the story. i’m struggling to figure out where i stand on the issue. where is the line of demarcation between blake’s story and molly’s? is it right for him to divulge the affairs that she kept secret while she was alive, that he only found out about after her death? i’m not sure. i think he has a right to tell the story of his grief, but i’m not sure we as readers needed the intimate details of what molly was doing in private.
one other thing i will say is that i wish this book was edited a bit better. butler obviously has a way with words, but i found many of the sentences lost their clarity because they were overwritten. this might be petty but there were grammar and spelling issues that made it difficult to understand at times.
i don’t think i can really give this a rating. it is an immensely difficult read, so personal - making me understand why a lot of people choose not to rate nonfiction.
caitless's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
What an amazing book on the nature of life and humanity. The levels of introspectiveness reached in the book are touching and allowed me to really think about my own life. Blake has such an interesting way of capturing the many complex layers of Molly, showing her good sides and her worse sides. His love for her despite it all is so inspiring and beautiful. The autobiography is deeply moving and grounding and shows that there are so many reasons to keep going.
womangenius's review
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
3.75
Self-indulgent writing at times, which seems cruel to say about such a personal book, but it's true. This is the only Blake Butler prose that is tolerable to read, as far as I can tell, but some of the passages still are exhausting to the point it really drags the reader down. Otherwise fascinating, tender, beautiful, stirring.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Infidelity, Mental illness, and Suicide
sanrio912's review
2.0
Hard to read and finish memoir of an obviously toxic relationship. The beginning essay I had read previously. It and the ending letter to Molly are worthy of the two stars. They are structured and well thought through.
The remaining 300+ pages of middle, don’t have the same level of care and attention. There is a load of my personal pet peeve I call listing. Where a writer simply lists their bits and bobs of ideas, memories, objects etc. It always comes across as a mood board to me. I get the general feeling, but it’s not as emotionally engaging as it could be. You see where the writer was going, but never reach the destination fully. I personally would limit lists to a few tangible items that are then shown to the reader. Showing us vs telling.
I had to include this quote because sometimes writers rat themselves out and seem to know the truth of what they’ve produced,
“….its pages full of manic scribble from my mourning, cryptic fragments that would mean nothing to mostly anybody but myself.”
The remaining 300+ pages of middle, don’t have the same level of care and attention. There is a load of my personal pet peeve I call listing. Where a writer simply lists their bits and bobs of ideas, memories, objects etc. It always comes across as a mood board to me. I get the general feeling, but it’s not as emotionally engaging as it could be. You see where the writer was going, but never reach the destination fully. I personally would limit lists to a few tangible items that are then shown to the reader. Showing us vs telling.
I had to include this quote because sometimes writers rat themselves out and seem to know the truth of what they’ve produced,
“….its pages full of manic scribble from my mourning, cryptic fragments that would mean nothing to mostly anybody but myself.”