Scan barcode
smartie_chan's review
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
CW: Homophobia, Acephobia, Amatonormativ Language, Outing, Sexual Content, Past Suicide/Death of a Family Member
2.5 / 5 Stars
Sooooo.
Let me get this off of my chest first, because the part were I'm angry will be longer than the part were I'm not: The romance itself was nice and the characters grew on me over time, but the way this book loki hates on queers that are still in the closet felt like a punch in the gut. So, let's begin this by quoting the summary:
Ash has decided that staying in the closet is safer than risking her heart again.
Which ... you know... is just a straight-out lie. Ash isn't in the closet because she got her heart broken. So why is that sentence there? And why will we find more of those things the deeper we get into it all?
Answer: Because the book wants you to really believe that the person in the wrong: is Ash. :)
The narrative tells us - subltly... and with a sledgehammer - that being closeted is shameful, hurtful to others, a burden, cowardly & a testament to your lack of love for and to your partner.
It's actually something that her FRIENDS! tell her to her face. There are multible scenes in the book, where the FRIENDS!! - I feel like I have to put this in all caps, cause I gasped out lout at some stuff that came out of some of their mouths - are just the worst. Like, no my girl, you're not supportive right now. You're just an ass.
What exactly do I mean by that?
Well.
Characters make their contempt of Ash being closeted known by making snide comments coupled with bitter tones and intense, hostile looks, where she's told - repeatedly - that by remaining in the closet she cannot possibly have any semblance of happiness or success or fulfillment or truth in her life. Like, at all. Also implying that love is the only thing that could possibly bring her any of those things. I have like, 30 quotes marked in my kindle, but one of the few that made me the angriest was possibly this one:
"You'll just do to Sasha what you did to Holly? Damn Ash."
No, context doesn't make the character look less like an arse, I'm afraid. :)
So why do I hate that one so much? Multible reasons. Because apparently, Sasha & Holly had no autonomy over getting involved with someone who isn’t out, as if they aren’t responsible for their active choice to be in that relationship, as if closeted queer folks aren’t allowed to have romantic/sexual relationships. It also showed me that that so-called 'friend' didn't give a rats-arse about Ash's feelings to begin with. Deciding instead to reduce her being in the closet to being a testament of her love for someone. Which is kinda very insensitive and manipulative. Because - of course - anything Ash could be facing when she comes out, including losing her parents, after having lost her sister to suicide, is totally worth it, so she can get the "love"of someone who doesn’t think she was worthy or good enough while stil being closeted. :)
People tend to have very good reasons to as to why they aren't out, or why they are only out to a few chosen people. Like, oh, I don't know, for reasons of PROTECTION AND SAFETY maybe, but what would I know about it. It's not like those were the reasons why I was in the closet for so long. Haha :D
I could even go so far as to excuse Sasha, cause she comes from a place of past pain and hurt and abandonment issues, which we never really explore and just kind of throw in there to have an excuse for the way she behaves. But her friends? Leo? Holly? No excuses.
It's sad, because being in the closet can be hard and it certainly isn't always the bestest place to be in, but when the best thing you can say about a book that heavily centers on a closeted person is that AT LEAST they didn't get outed against their will, then that speaks a lot about the way the book views a certain part of its community.
There's an ace character in this one, and I'd usually say something about her, but she's not saving how I feel about this book in the slightest. So just know: She's there, being as judgemental as the rest.
It's a shame, cause I can see the book I could have liked beneath the layers of Anti-Closeted stuff, and if I just ignored all the way so many chapters make me uncomfortable, I could have even enjoyed myself, but alas. I can't. So that's why were here.
Final Thoughts
Didn't have the bestest of times, to say the least.
2.5 / 5 Stars
Sooooo.
Let me get this off of my chest first, because the part were I'm angry will be longer than the part were I'm not: The romance itself was nice and the characters grew on me over time, but the way this book loki hates on queers that are still in the closet felt like a punch in the gut. So, let's begin this by quoting the summary:
Ash has decided that staying in the closet is safer than risking her heart again.
Which ... you know... is just a straight-out lie. Ash isn't in the closet because she got her heart broken. So why is that sentence there? And why will we find more of those things the deeper we get into it all?
Answer: Because the book wants you to really believe that the person in the wrong: is Ash. :)
The narrative tells us - subltly... and with a sledgehammer - that being closeted is shameful, hurtful to others, a burden, cowardly & a testament to your lack of love for and to your partner.
It's actually something that her FRIENDS! tell her to her face. There are multible scenes in the book, where the FRIENDS!! - I feel like I have to put this in all caps, cause I gasped out lout at some stuff that came out of some of their mouths - are just the worst. Like, no my girl, you're not supportive right now. You're just an ass.
What exactly do I mean by that?
Well.
Characters make their contempt of Ash being closeted known by making snide comments coupled with bitter tones and intense, hostile looks, where she's told - repeatedly - that by remaining in the closet she cannot possibly have any semblance of happiness or success or fulfillment or truth in her life. Like, at all. Also implying that love is the only thing that could possibly bring her any of those things. I have like, 30 quotes marked in my kindle, but one of the few that made me the angriest was possibly this one:
"You'll just do to Sasha what you did to Holly? Damn Ash."
No, context doesn't make the character look less like an arse, I'm afraid. :)
So why do I hate that one so much? Multible reasons. Because apparently, Sasha & Holly had no autonomy over getting involved with someone who isn’t out, as if they aren’t responsible for their active choice to be in that relationship, as if closeted queer folks aren’t allowed to have romantic/sexual relationships. It also showed me that that so-called 'friend' didn't give a rats-arse about Ash's feelings to begin with. Deciding instead to reduce her being in the closet to being a testament of her love for someone. Which is kinda very insensitive and manipulative. Because - of course - anything Ash could be facing when she comes out, including losing her parents, after having lost her sister to suicide, is totally worth it, so she can get the "love"of someone who doesn’t think she was worthy or good enough while stil being closeted. :)
People tend to have very good reasons to as to why they aren't out, or why they are only out to a few chosen people. Like, oh, I don't know, for reasons of PROTECTION AND SAFETY maybe, but what would I know about it. It's not like those were the reasons why I was in the closet for so long. Haha :D
I could even go so far as to excuse Sasha, cause she comes from a place of past pain and hurt and abandonment issues, which we never really explore and just kind of throw in there to have an excuse for the way she behaves. But her friends? Leo? Holly? No excuses.
It's sad, because being in the closet can be hard and it certainly isn't always the bestest place to be in, but when the best thing you can say about a book that heavily centers on a closeted person is that AT LEAST they didn't get outed against their will, then that speaks a lot about the way the book views a certain part of its community.
There's an ace character in this one, and I'd usually say something about her, but she's not saving how I feel about this book in the slightest. So just know: She's there, being as judgemental as the rest.
It's a shame, cause I can see the book I could have liked beneath the layers of Anti-Closeted stuff, and if I just ignored all the way so many chapters make me uncomfortable, I could have even enjoyed myself, but alas. I can't. So that's why were here.
Final Thoughts
Didn't have the bestest of times, to say the least.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Outing and Homophobia
Minor: Acephobia/Arophobia, Death, and Suicide
More...