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theotherboleyn's review against another edition
emotional
funny
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Fire/Fire injury, Alcohol, Misogyny, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Child abuse, Medical content, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, and Racism
joisaddler's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
funny
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Definitely hands down one of my most favorite books I have read in a long time. This book has a firm place in my heart and I adore it so deeply.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Medical content, Misogyny, Religious bigotry, Sexual assault, Adult/minor relationship, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Sexism
casey_sunshine's review
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
It fades to black, which they should have to tell you up front.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Death, Misogyny, Death of parent, Grief, Domestic abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Physical abuse, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Pregnancy, Medical content, and Medical trauma
aliciachauhan_'s review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
what can I say about this book? this was the first time reading a book where South Asians were the maim characters specifically Hindu gujarati therefore I felt like i could really relate to it. it was incredibly great to read about things I could specifically relate to such as traditions and beliefs so I felt a lot more connected to the characters than ever. I strongly felt a connection towards Liya as she has the same view as me on marriage and children within an Indian household and wider society. I just hope one day I would would able to experience this type of love in real life because this book was truly beautiful.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Grief, Sexism, Sexual assault, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Bullying, Abandonment, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Cursing, Medical content, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Racism, Racial slurs, Religious bigotry, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship
thefatpaperback's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Sexism, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Grief, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Religious bigotry, Pedophilia, and Sexual violence
Minor: Sexual content
brokenbodybitch's review against another edition
medium-paced
4.25
I did enjoy the book, however I do want to put a warning in here that it is a much heavier book then I was anticipating and the content warnings shouldn’t be taken lightly.
The romance in this book is pretty good, the chemistry between the characters is definitely well written and at times, they do questionable things but generally there is some reasoning (in this book the reason is very often a trauma response or something related to fears and trauma) that makes it so you can still root for the MC or LI. I really enjoy how you can tell their upbringing and what they went through up till now really motivated their actions and often times, you can see the bouncing ball of oh well this is because of this and stuff like that you aren’t left wondering what possessed them to do whatever they did.
I am not south Asian so I can’t speak on the accuracy or quality of the rep but I think the family dynamics in this book were really well done, yes don’t get me wrong a lot of the family was just straight up insufferable and I would gladly like to clock her dad in the face, however the dynamics and relationships between characters felt very real and they stayed true throught the book. I find when some authors try to write family dynamics with generational trauma and abuse and heavier more complicated things like that they will sometimes have these happy endings that while nice, ultimately don’t seem all that realistic, where as in this book her father is vile her entire childhood (for whatever reasons) and he didn’t have this seemingly instant magical turn around, his actions lined up with how his character had been set up from the beginning, and that was with all the characters I can think of.
I really enjoyed this book, yes it is a romance but it also deals with trauma from many many different angles as well as having South Asian representation. At times it reads a little more like a YA/NA romance but all in all, the characters have clear and developed backstories and it deals with trauma from so many sides that it felt like it had another purpose beyond the romance.
Extra CW/TW:
The biggest ones to be aware of are SA between an adult and minor, being told you are lying about it and other horrible things along those lines by many people but especially parental figures, and the trauma that goes along with SA, in particular childhood SA. It is handled fairly well by the end of the book and does have a positive ending but it can be very heavy at times; and I can’t speak on childhood SA but from a general SA trauma perspective it was pretty accurately portrayed. Again I’m not the authority on this, but I don’t think it is harmful rep by any means just very possibly triggering for someone with those potential triggers. It’s not a bad book I don’t think, just be very cautious going into it
The romance in this book is pretty good, the chemistry between the characters is definitely well written and at times, they do questionable things but generally there is some reasoning (in this book the reason is very often a trauma response or something related to fears and trauma) that makes it so you can still root for the MC or LI. I really enjoy how you can tell their upbringing and what they went through up till now really motivated their actions and often times, you can see the bouncing ball of oh well this is because of this and stuff like that you aren’t left wondering what possessed them to do whatever they did.
I am not south Asian so I can’t speak on the accuracy or quality of the rep but I think the family dynamics in this book were really well done, yes don’t get me wrong a lot of the family was just straight up insufferable and I would gladly like to clock her dad in the face, however the dynamics and relationships between characters felt very real and they stayed true throught the book. I find when some authors try to write family dynamics with generational trauma and abuse and heavier more complicated things like that they will sometimes have these happy endings that while nice, ultimately don’t seem all that realistic, where as in this book her father is vile her entire childhood (for whatever reasons) and he didn’t have this seemingly instant magical turn around, his actions lined up with how his character had been set up from the beginning, and that was with all the characters I can think of.
I really enjoyed this book, yes it is a romance but it also deals with trauma from many many different angles as well as having South Asian representation. At times it reads a little more like a YA/NA romance but all in all, the characters have clear and developed backstories and it deals with trauma from so many sides that it felt like it had another purpose beyond the romance.
Extra CW/TW:
The biggest ones to be aware of are SA between an adult and minor, being told you are lying about it and other horrible things along those lines by many people but especially parental figures, and the trauma that goes along with SA, in particular childhood SA. It is handled fairly well by the end of the book and does have a positive ending but it can be very heavy at times; and I can’t speak on childhood SA but from a general SA trauma perspective it was pretty accurately portrayed. Again I’m not the authority on this, but I don’t think it is harmful rep by any means just very possibly triggering for someone with those potential triggers. It’s not a bad book I don’t think, just be very cautious going into it
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Child abuse, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Grief, Medical content, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Adult/minor relationship, Gaslighting, Misogyny, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Alcohol and Domestic abuse
aqtbenz's review against another edition
emotional
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death of parent, Sexual assault, Pregnancy, Misogyny, Medical content, Grief, and Emotional abuse
spearly's review
emotional
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Whenever Liya glanced at me, which wasn’t often, she had daggers for stares. Her annoyance level was ridiculous. But as soon as Ma engaged her in conversation, she was someone else entirely
The Trouble with Hating You is a story told in dual POV by Liya, a forward-thinking, stubborn, non-traditional Hindu girl who has effectively been shunned by her community due to her sexual history and no-nonsense demeanour, and Jay, an all-around "nice-guy" (my quotation marks, no the authors) who loved his family and has a grin that could drop your panties. They first meet when Liya literally runs into him when she's escaping dinner with her parents, because as she finds out, they plan to ambush her with the appearance of Jay, with whom they are trying to set her up in an arranged marriage.
I'm not going to pretend to know the intricacies of Hinduism or Indian culture, but I had a major problem with the insidious misogyny in this book. It was most likely included to foil our progressive couple, and the author does a great job tearing it down, particularly at the end (which I will get more into), but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable to read about. Still, I liked how Liya was quick to point it out and shut it down. I liked how she kept her head held high when faced with her communities judgement, disdain, and vicious rumours.
But. I didn't particularly like howher main trauma, the reason that she's so standoffish with guys and never lets anyone in, was because she was assaulted when she was 15. And I really didn't like how Jay is suddenly the one tearing down her walls, healing her. If you want to base your main character's personality on a past trauma, at least let their big breakthrough be something they find within themselves. People don't magically forget their past, their issues, and their scars just because the right person comes along. And if you ARE going to make that the case, then at least show them working through it together. I feel like all we got with Jay and Liya was a few "of course I believe you"s, a few tender kisses, and some long-winded i-love-you speeches at the end that felt more like exposition than a genuine declaration of love.
I ALSO... and this might be controversial.... DON'T LIKE JAY.
Sure, he came through at the end there. But as he's courting Liya, he is such a "nice-guy" it made me literally sick.
Here he is enlisted her friends to convince her to go out with him after she ALREADY SAID NO.
The gist of the twenty-mile-long text chain was this: Jay had asked them to convince me to go out with him! The audacity! Who did he think he was, getting my friends involved? And to make matters worse, of course they were on Team Freaking Jay.
Here he is acting in true nice-guy fashion when Liya continues to turn him down.
I opened my mouth to snap at him, but he walked out and said, “You messed this up, Liya. We would’ve been good together. We could’ve had something real."
Here he is in his inner dialogue calling Liya UNGRATEFUL because he bought her $1400 (!!!) shoes (they are not even friends yet, people), and she was like.... um, take these back weirdo:
Since I’d been helping Liya, that ungrateful woman, for the past few weeks, I’d skipped out on our meals, which upset Ma.
And you're trying to tell me Jay is supposed to be this progressive, "we're always equals mkay? we walk side by side, I will never be above you, we're gonna be uNtRAdiTIonAL like that" kinda guy? I got some news for you....
Anyway he asks her out like 5 times I think before she finally caves. And, look, okay, I get it's a romance novel and the whole point is that she wanted to say yes and he could tell that, and that it's supposed to be romantic that he doesn't give up, but like... how many times do women need to say no for men to take the fucking hint? How many times do men keep pushing because they think we, like Liya, actually want to say yes but are playing hard to get?
(I apologize for that very heteronormative statement. In my personal experience, and the experience of nearly very woman in my life, however, it has always been the man who doesn't take no for an answer.)
And this isn't a fluffy rom-com novel where that sort of toxic behaviour doesn't speak to any deeper issues within that novel's world. When it's all fluff, things aren't that deep. But this is a novel with heavy themes, like deep-rooted sexism in religion, believing women, family dynamics in traditional households... I couldn't ignore Jay's character, and it doesn't stack up against the other themes of the novel.
Unrelated, I found the whole workplace drama thing boring and unnecessary.
Also unrelated, is anyone else hella bothered when a character is like, declaring their love and is all "I fell in love the first moment I saw you" (or in Jay's case: “I’ve been in love with you since the day you walked into that diner, when I took you home and decided to buy these damn shoes.”) when it's so obviously not true?
Um. I think that's most of what I thought. I could probably add more but this review is too long already.
The Trouble with Hating You is a story told in dual POV by Liya, a forward-thinking, stubborn, non-traditional Hindu girl who has effectively been shunned by her community due to her sexual history and no-nonsense demeanour, and Jay, an all-around "nice-guy" (my quotation marks, no the authors) who loved his family and has a grin that could drop your panties. They first meet when Liya literally runs into him when she's escaping dinner with her parents, because as she finds out, they plan to ambush her with the appearance of Jay, with whom they are trying to set her up in an arranged marriage.
I'm not going to pretend to know the intricacies of Hinduism or Indian culture, but I had a major problem with the insidious misogyny in this book. It was most likely included to foil our progressive couple, and the author does a great job tearing it down, particularly at the end (which I will get more into), but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable to read about. Still, I liked how Liya was quick to point it out and shut it down. I liked how she kept her head held high when faced with her communities judgement, disdain, and vicious rumours.
But. I didn't particularly like how
I ALSO... and this might be controversial.... DON'T LIKE JAY.
Sure, he came through at the end there. But as he's courting Liya, he is such a "nice-guy" it made me literally sick.
Here he is enlisted her friends to convince her to go out with him after she ALREADY SAID NO.
The gist of the twenty-mile-long text chain was this: Jay had asked them to convince me to go out with him! The audacity! Who did he think he was, getting my friends involved? And to make matters worse, of course they were on Team Freaking Jay.
Here he is acting in true nice-guy fashion when Liya continues to turn him down.
I opened my mouth to snap at him, but he walked out and said, “You messed this up, Liya. We would’ve been good together. We could’ve had something real."
Here he is in his inner dialogue calling Liya UNGRATEFUL because he bought her $1400 (!!!) shoes (they are not even friends yet, people), and she was like.... um, take these back weirdo:
Since I’d been helping Liya, that ungrateful woman, for the past few weeks, I’d skipped out on our meals, which upset Ma.
And you're trying to tell me Jay is supposed to be this progressive, "we're always equals mkay? we walk side by side, I will never be above you, we're gonna be uNtRAdiTIonAL like that" kinda guy? I got some news for you....
Anyway he asks her out like 5 times I think before she finally caves. And, look, okay, I get it's a romance novel and the whole point is that she wanted to say yes and he could tell that, and that it's supposed to be romantic that he doesn't give up, but like... how many times do women need to say no for men to take the fucking hint? How many times do men keep pushing because they think we, like Liya, actually want to say yes but are playing hard to get?
(I apologize for that very heteronormative statement. In my personal experience, and the experience of nearly very woman in my life, however, it has always been the man who doesn't take no for an answer.)
And this isn't a fluffy rom-com novel where that sort of toxic behaviour doesn't speak to any deeper issues within that novel's world. When it's all fluff, things aren't that deep. But this is a novel with heavy themes, like deep-rooted sexism in religion, believing women, family dynamics in traditional households... I couldn't ignore Jay's character, and it doesn't stack up against the other themes of the novel.
Unrelated, I found the whole workplace drama thing boring and unnecessary.
Also unrelated, is anyone else hella bothered when a character is like, declaring their love and is all "I fell in love the first moment I saw you" (or in Jay's case: “I’ve been in love with you since the day you walked into that diner, when I took you home and decided to buy these damn shoes.”) when it's so obviously not true?
Um. I think that's most of what I thought. I could probably add more but this review is too long already.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism, Misogyny, Religious bigotry, Death of parent, and Medical content
Moderate: Cursing, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, and Panic attacks/disorders
kmanos's review
3.5
I thought Liya was such a strong lead character, and she has reasons she wants to move on from her past and for it to stay hidden. She wants to protect those she loves (her mother, mainly) from the things people will say if this traumatic event is twisted to lies and spread through her community. And then there's Jay. Sweet Jay, who still blames himself for something that happened twenty years earlier, and doesn't feel as if he deserves a happy ending. Hate to love sometimes doesn't work for me, but I was on board pretty much the whole way through (I thought Liya was sometimes a bit too stubborn for her own good, but then I remembered how truma can cause people to build up tougher ways than most so I could forgive it). It was tough to read about how Liya's community had shunned her for misconceptions they had been fed about her past, and how the one person who was supposed to protect and believe her decided not to play fair, but I appreciated the trust when Liya and Jay finally wanted to share their stories, and felt they had an appropriate outlet without judgement to do so. I did have some issues with it, but overall a solid read.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Misogyny, and Sexual assault
Minor: Medical content
shelbyjo's review
emotional
funny
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Sexism, Misogyny, Pedophilia, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Bullying, Grief, and Medical content
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