Reviews tagging 'Grief'

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

1728 reviews

c_seonjyung's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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llayaz's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.25


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gia0203's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Wow. So I have a lot to say. There is so much to this book, and I feel like giving it a brief review wouldn't do it justice. Here I go!

A Little Life is an epic. It's length and density mean that the narrative has room to breathe. There are so many little details that give the book a certain realism. Not just the characters either, but the city, the buildings. Each house that Jude moves to is distinct and painstakingly described, every person he meets is given their own charms and flaws. Its these idiosyncracies which really make you feel like you're inside the book, rather than watching from the outside. It's this immersion that makes A Little Life even more relentless. You are not allowed simply to observe. You are a part of the world.

And nowhere is this style of writing more effective than when you are inside of Jude's mind. Jude is a character who remains elusive to the people around him. Eventually, the people close to Jude are allowed to see parts of him, but it's only us, the reader, who truly understand how Jude thinks. Even Willem, who learns the most, doesn't see what we see. Jude's inner narrative, the true depth of his self loathing, it's known only to us.

But even we don't know everything. Every now and then Jude will elude to something we don't know about, and we are made to remember that there are things so terrible that Jude can't even confront them in his own mind. One of the main tragedies of the novel is that Jude cannot reveal his true self to anyone for so long. The lying, the hiding, it's part of his undoing.

A Little Life has become notorious for just how sad it is. Truly the saddest part is that
Jude gets a chance at happiness, and it is cruelly ripped away. For a moment he is as close to contentment as he ever has been. He has been seen by another person - he is held and safe. There is something very mean spirited about how Yanagihara shows us that Jude could heal, enough to live the rest of his life in an (albeit fragile) happiness, but he isn't allowed to. I think this is the reason the book has been labelled trauma porn. If it had ended with the continuation of Jude's recovery, as he lived happily with Willem, there would be no outrage or controversy. But this isn't how trauma works. 

I do, however, think that Willem's sudden accidental death has purpose. Yanagihara stated that this book was uncompromising, and the spectrum of human emotion to an extreme. And the sad reality is that some people's lives are like this. Sometimes, there is no happy ending. Jude states that he is the same person he was as a child, that he always ends up back how he was, and I think this is a poignant depiction of trauma and mental illness. Another book might have took a different course. But this is the route this one took. As cruel and unkind as it was, it was not without purpose.


Despite everything, I appreciated the moments of kindness and happiness  scattered throughout the book. There is so much love in this story, and there are moments where Jude gets to experience it. True love. It sometimes made the horror worth it. The way Willem curled around Jude every night... The thoughtful things Harold did for him... The way so many people tried to help him... And the way Jude constantly helped others too...

I felt like the themes of suicide and self harm in this book were treated with respect and accuracy. Often, Jude's thoughts were so strikingly similar to ones I had at the worst parts of my depression that I had to stop and breathe. While I couldn't relate to much of his experience, particularly with disability and sexual abuse, it didn't mean I couldn't empathise with him. He wanted an escape, a reprise, which I understood. The most graphic descriptions are of his self harm, illness and injury. At times they did feel too much; Jude's cutting in particular was difficult to get through. But  Yanagihara was unflinching, for better or for worse. It's so repetitive, so relentless, and yet this was Jude's life, and Yanagihara clearly wanted us to see it for what it was. This is the reality of trauma.

Plus, Yanagihara always knew when to zoom out, when to pull the curtain over our eyes. For all that this book is graphic, it never feels exploitative. The sexual abuse is vague and shadowy; descriptions focus on Jude's thoughts, rather than explicit details.
Jude's suicide, and Willem's death, are never described in detail.
. All of this makes me think that the explicit descriptions of self harm and injury were purposeful. Particularly the scene where
Caleb beats Jude
was extremely nauseating, but didn't it quickly pull us into reality, out of the hopeful life Jude was beginning to believe in? I feel like I'm rambling on about this as I'm trying to understand it.... Regardless, I don't think the bleakness of the book or how graphic it is is a bad thing.

In trying to help Jude, all of the characters made mistakes. The people who loved him the most were often the ones who hurt him the most. Their desperation and their longing to save him stripped him of his agency at times, yet also were what he needed at others. Willem, Andy, Harold, they all debated what was best. Should I force him to get help, and alienate him in the process? Should I go along with it to keep him close to me? Should I compromise? Was any of it even helping? I loved that there was no right answer. I loved how morally grey it all was. 

As I was reading this book, I immediately ordered Yanagihara's other books.  I thought her writing style was beautiful and I adored her thoughtfulness. The part that made me cry, and that I thought was the best part of the book, was Dear Comrade. The descriptions of grief; the way Jude uses objects to inspire memories; the way the characters feel like ghosts in the last part of the novel, trying to mimic their ordinary lives. It was beautiful and devastating and it's when I really, truly cried. I'm very excited to delve into the rest of the author's writing. I can't really bring myself to give A Little Life a rating of less than 5. Also, I will definitely be rereading it, and watching the play, and I've ordered the playbook too, so. 

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nanari's review against another edition

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dark reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.25

I'm  sorry, as emotionally wreaked as I was reading the chapter after happy years, I did not like the ending! Didnt like it at all! I would not recommend the book! I admit, the characterization is very real in a sense that I got invested in their lives and their mindset. I was hoping and hoping and further hoping a sliver of happiness would come -- that through all the bitter sadness that there will be a message. That there will be something that would redeem this book and all the tragedies that preceded the one outcome I suspected may happen but hope - again with the hope - wouldn't unravel. But no, it punched me square in the face and I'm left thinking, what the hell is this book trying to tell me? That in the end there's no hope? That in the end, through all the ups and downs - after all the success and being surrounded by people who unconditionally love you - that we can only expect to go downhill, hit rock bottom and stay there. No!!! I'm just very conflicted, I get why Jude felt what he felt and did what he did, but at the same time its like, OK, I guess he's right. In the context of his life, I guess it was like he said about that one axiom about math and ending up where he started or something of that nature -- how everything around is slightly different, but the course of his life, how he precieved it would end, would not veer off course. It would not change. Might be interpreting that axiom wrong but its how I understand it lol Fuq Caleb btw! Go straight to hell caleb! We didnt need you in this fictitious life!!! Like holy shiz, how can a single person be that violent. SO DEPRESSING!!! lol Also what the hell happened to JB and Malcolm's story. It's like their story was just pushed out when I was under the impression I would also be pulled into their lives. *sigh* Don't get me wrong, I love Willem's kindness and sweetness, and his patience and understanding (but damn the 'happy years' chapter!!! pffttt it was 5% happy and 95% of 'what in the emotional heartache is this?!'), I felt the need to protect Jude, I really wanted to read JB's failing relationships and why he struggled so much with them, and really related with Malcolm on that tidbit of children and questioning the fulfillment of ones life. I loved the characters!!! But in the end of it all, the book as a whole was not for me. I don't think I will pick up a book similar to it. I need a year to recover lol I need fantasy haha


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eedle_cacleberry's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

if i even see hanya yanagihara it’s on sight. why would you write this book, what was your intention 😭

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tonia0000's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I don't know what to feel. You don't want to go on reading but at the same time you cannot stop.

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mellii's review against another edition

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challenging sad
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.5

What a shitshow. Hated every second of it, still bawled my eyes out at the end. Don't read this if you want to keep your sanity. Missing trigger warnings.

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sgrizzle's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

“No,” Willem said, after they’d all stopped laughing. “I know my life’s meaningful because”—and here he stopped, and looked shy, and was silent for a moment before he continued—“ because I’m a good friend. I love my friends, and I care about them, and I think I make them happy.”

Well I am sitting in my car crying just having finished this book lol. 2024 is the year I read the sad books, and this was definitely sad. I generally love a deep, contemplative dive into characters, so that part I did enjoy, but this one was truly bleak. It is an excellent look into how violent trauma in childhood affects the rest of a person’s life, and I liked the writing style. The characterizations are vivid, which makes sense considering how many pages and how much of their life we follow. But wow I am glad to be done with it.

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cinn_vida's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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celery's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful sad tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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