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mmtrue's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Sexual harassment, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Rape, and Sexual violence
Moderate: Suicide, Vomit, Alcoholism, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic friendship, and Cursing
rchulin1's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Rape, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Body shaming, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Mental illness, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Vomit, Child abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Panic attacks/disorders, Pedophilia, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Suicide, Bullying, Death, Drug use, Eating disorder, Stalking, Misogyny, Emotional abuse, Grief, Infidelity, Violence, Drug abuse, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Animal death, Cursing, Gaslighting, and Physical abuse
david_slack110507's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Vanessa is such an interesting character because she goes against the typical depiction of a victim being that she is not squeaky clean or 'good' and aware of what has been done to her but instead she isn't an incredible person, often being quite rude to those around her as a result of what has happened to her as well as also being adamant that what she and Strane had was "love" rather than acknowledging the grooming and abuse that took place and I think portraying Vanessa this way made her avoid becoming a cliche of a character that is only defined by their trauma or what has happened to them. It really is tough to see Vanessa first be so obviously taken advantage of and manipulated, through our viewpoint, and then continue to go through life seeing the relationship as loving to the point of putting down other women with similar stories as well as the women that come out against Strane over what he did to them. I really liked how the book also tackled some questions about the treatment of victims such as them being defined by what happened to them and nothing more as well as also this expectation that they should come forward about what has happened to them as soon as they can to help the cause or the movement and I think it allows the reader to take their own stance on whether or not they agree with how victims are treated in the media and by others when their trauma is made public.
Strane is a truly despicable character and I hated him and this hate didn't just come about because he is a groomer as that would elicit hate from me already but the way that Kate Elizabeth Russell writes him is incredibly well done as he is even more hateable due to how manipulative he is and how unapologetic he is in his actions and what he has done, even going so far as to blame Vanessa for making him fall in love with her, a teen with no actual power (even lacking the power to consent at times during the book), as if it isn't his own fault. The continued hold he had over Vanessa to the point that she even wanted to try and replicate what their relationship was like with her professor later on in her life shows just how much he messed her up and I'm so glad that the book didn't try and be sympathetic to him because he doesn't deserve any. The book allows him to be complex such as him being emotional and open to Vanessa almost like a normal relationship as well as being aware of what he is doing without ever portraying him as someone who is good but has just done a bad thing. The resolution to his character and the investigation into his allegations being unresolved was very fitting for how many victims don't end up getting any resolution or any justice even with Strane's suicide in the face of these allegations, there lacks a feeling of comeuppance over what he has done.
I really liked the topics and themes that this book deals with and with listening to this as an audiobook, Grace Gummer did an excellent job at bringing to life Vanessa as well as all the other characters and I didn't have any faults with her performances or really the book as a whole other than it sort of being a book you can only read once due to how heavy and disturbing it can be and the lack of a big revelation may disappoint some people but it feels true to life. I found myself researching more into the process that Russell wrote this book including responses to the backlash/polarising opinions that have come about due to its publication as well as the additional chapter in the audiobook featuring an interview between Russell and Gummer as well as the book's editor about the book and I found them all really interesting.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Cursing, Gaslighting, Rape, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Grief, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Addiction, Medical content, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Drug use, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Violence, Alcohol, Death, Suicide, Alcoholism, and Stalking
Minor: Animal death, Animal cruelty, and Infertility
miwandie's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
Should’ve killed himself sooner.
Hate the cover.
Graphic: Rape, Pedophilia, and Adult/minor relationship
Moderate: Sexism, Child abuse, Cursing, Death of parent, Toxic relationship, Death, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Misogyny, Suicide, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, and Domestic abuse
smolone13's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Synopsis
My Review
When first meeting Strane I immediately thought he was just your average English teacher in his 30s. IT wasn’t until Vanessa started to talk to him more that he started to show his true intentions. As a teenager, I would have found him creepy but Vanessa believed that she was special to Stran. That she actually meant something and that boys her age wouldn’t meet the same “maturity” as Strane. Personally, Strane immediately hovering over her and convincing her they had a “normal adult relationship” made me find him disgusting throughout the entire book, and for me, he just kept getting more disturbing as the book progressed.
Vanessa is extremely isolated at Browick and keeps herself isolated in the second year of school. Even though one of her old friends consistently tries to talk to her, she is ignored. It makes her an easy target for Strane since she has no one in her circle. She lives in the dorm alone and doesn’t talk to anyone but Strane and her parents on occasion. However, her parents seem disconnected from her. Her father doesn’t talk much throughout the book and when he does appear it is on the small occasion so it is safe to assume he is never around or connecting with Vanessa. Her mother tries but Vanessa keeps herself isolated by passing it off that her mother just doesn’t understand her. Those are contributing factors for Strane to weasel himself into Vanessa’s life. He can easily influence her and manipulate her because she keeps herself isolated.
I don’t believe Vanessa truly wanted what was happening to occur to her. During the chapter, where Strane takes her to his home for the first time, she becomes disconnected and doesn’t pay too much attention except to Strane’s body and the pain he gives her through their “sexual intercourse”. After a moment she didn’t want to continue but convinced herself it was fine. Even if she was 18, the age difference would still make me feel awful along with the fact she began to disassociate because she didn’t want to be experiencing it. I also think she convinced herself, because of Strane, to believe that she was enjoying it because she “orgasmed”, however, the body can still react and in cases of rape will try to teeter from the experience by making itself comfortable to alleviate pain.
From safechild.org we, as a collective, can understand grooming a bit more. Grooming “begins with identifying potential victims, gaining their trust, and breaking down their defenses,” (safechild.org). While growing up I witnessed my classmates get groomed. Further reading on safechild.org showcases more on the stages of grooming. It all starts with the offender identifying their victims and gaining their trust. Strane immediately identified Vanessa as his victim after witnessing her isolation. He proceeded to compliment her writing, got closer to her, and began complimenting her appearance. He began lending her books that were in close relation to her until he finally gave her Lolita. He began playing the role of someone who sees her for who she truly "is". Strane began to “listen” to her when she would tell him about her ex-friendship of her complaints about her mother. For Strane, it became easy to isolate her. Strane convinced Vanessa to form a relationship with him by pretending he couldn’t continue a relationship with her and that she held all of the power of their relationship. Strane had her convinced to have a secret relationship. While within his office he was able to start a sexual relationship. The relationship proceeded to get worse when she was able to slip off campus to be raped by Strane. Afterward, it was easy for Strane to control her and the relationship. Strane convinced her that they needed each other and that no one would believe her and if they did she would get into trouble as well.
Strane convinced Vanessa that she was special and the only one that he was pursuing. However, I don’t believe Vanessa was the first of his victims. He was able to talk to Vanessa, plan an entire setup, and establish close relationships with other staff members. He knew to talk to Vanessa after witnessing her isolation around campus. H had a close relationship with the staff and younger teachers as well. He left a trail of convincing staff that Vanessa had a crush on him and was concerned her behavior would become inappropriate.
Strane believes that they share the same mind and that they’re both mentally ill together. He brings up her writing, how he enjoys that she likes the same books, and how he believes she’s more mature than the other girls her age.
Strane recognizes how old she is and proceeds to have a relationship with her. His moral conflict means nothing but drags her further into an isolated relationship with him. Strane tries to convince her to have a life without him but it’s to further trap Vanessa with him. I think he knows how dangerous it is and understands that he can go to her. Strane completely understands he is wrong and proceeds with Vanessa and after he preys on other younger girls around the same age.
I think Jenny was a caring friend. All Vanessa and Jnny needed was a balance between relationships. However, I also think Jenny was changing and Vanessa was still stuck in the past. But I also understand Vanessa wanted alone time with her friend. I do think that if Jenny didn’t start dating, things would have been different. I think Vanessa having someone in her circle her age would have helped her notice that Strane’s behavior wasn’t normal. Or maybe Jenny would have noticed and got Strane in trouble.
Vanessa heavily believes that she wanted the relationship and she gives “consent”. Taylor on the other hand felt uncomfortable with Strane and in her adult years brought his actions out along with other women who were touched as girls. Most people who are touched in that way find it embarrassing or see themselves differently. Sometimes someone finding some bravery and saying something, or creating a movement, inspires others to say something. I also believe that it is cultural and we don’t hold men like that accountable. It is always considered in America that “boys being boys” or “men are just gross” without holding accountability. I also believe it could be a parental issue. My parents, personally, never told m about a healthy relationship or what rape was considered, or what an abusive relationship could look like and I ended up being trapped and suffocated from 13 to 18 until I learned in psychology I was in an unhealthy relationship.
I thought Vanessa was a conflicted narrator because of her grasp on a fake reality of having a “healthy” relationship with Strane. If there was a different narrator I think as readers we would notice more of Strane’s gross behavior and how Vanessa was being manipulated up into her adult years.
I believe Vanessa’s mother suspected something was up because of Vanessa’s behavior and Vanessa slipping a few times but I don’t think her mother truly knew what was going on even after the school got involved. I think her mother could have done more. I understand her concerns though. However, as someone who is becoming a mother to a young girl, I would have been outraged. The school accused Vanessa of lying and that Strane was innocent. After seeing the photo of the two of them I would have taken that picture and stormed to the principal. I would have law enforcement at that school immediately and would have gotten lawyers.
I strongly believe Strane thinks that connecting Vanessa to Vladimir Nabokov’s works made him more obsessed with Vanessa and the same goes for her. Vanessa becomes obsessed with Lolita cause she sees it as a love story. Strane finds it weird because he doesn’t see her as a child but Vanessa sees herself as Lolita. I think it began to put a strain on their relationship because they began holding expectations for each other.
I think because of Strane, Vanessa truly thought she was more mature like an adult, and could consent to things the other girls couldn’t. I do think many have a thought on how a girl should dress, and act, and all those factors play into whether someone is a victim. However, I think anyone can be a victim, no matter the little things. However, for Vanessa, she was convinced it was okay.
As I have said before, social media has allowed more exposure and even put a spotlight on behavior that many just ignore or deem normal. Many who witness these types of exposure end up sharing their own experiences. I have also seen a sense of community and empathy. However, I have also seen toxic responses and victim blaming. However, having an open platform brings more awareness to issues like grooming and rape.
I heavily believe Vanessa is a victim. It does take a while some time to recognize that you were in an awful situation. I did notice at the end after Strane killed himself that she was finally starting to piece together what her relationship was. I truly feel for Vanessa. I still don’t believe a person under 18 can give consent and even considering the age gap a relationship can be iffy as well.
Graphic: Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, Gaslighting, Child abuse, and Adult/minor relationship
Moderate: Cursing, Drug use, Suicide, Sexual harassment, Rape, Self harm, Mental illness, Bullying, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence
alicia_belcourt's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
The concept of the plot alone intrigued me because I have never read anything like this book before, and it quickly continued to intrigue me the more I read. The writing style of this book was beautifully executed in my opinion because I feel that not many authors could so greatly execute a juxtaposition of the mind quite like Kate Elizabeth Russell did. She was constantly building on the idea of the relationship being romantically sought after by the main character, Vanessa. I also really loved reading how she continued to recount the key details that sparked and arose during the abusive relationship. As well as when Vanessa had continued to age and was still in contact with her abuser, I enjoyed the way Kate wrote about how Vanessa felt 'out of her body' because there were times when she described herself walking around or being 'far off' during scenes of the abuse. However there were aspects of the book that made it a bit of a tougher read for me. For example, Vanessa was at times made to be extremely unlikeable, and I mean this in the way that there were times of her recounting the events of abuse where she was constantly in a state of denial, even when presented with substantial 'evidence'. I understood the reasoning for this as I reached the end of the book, but at the moment it was very hard to stay focused in the book when the main character seemed so unlikable.
Graphic: Addiction, Death, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual assault, Alcoholism, Death of parent, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Drug use, Sexual harassment, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, and Physical abuse
edietz22's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Suicide, Sexual content, Rape, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Pedophilia, and Sexual assault
Minor: Death, Stalking, Cursing, Physical abuse, Sexual harassment, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Sexual violence, Death of parent, Drug use, Vomit, Toxic friendship, Suicidal thoughts, and Gaslighting
sierrabowers's review
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Sexual violence, Abandonment, Rape, Toxic relationship, Vomit, Panic attacks/disorders, Cursing, Alcohol, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment, Grief, Gaslighting, Suicide, and Stalking
clo_l's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Dark, beautiful, captivating, nauseating, intense.
Amazing.
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Drug abuse, and Alcoholism
Moderate: Suicide, Sexual violence, Sexual harassment, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Rape, Drug use, Death of parent, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Cursing, Toxic relationship, and Pedophilia
Minor: Injury/Injury detail, Vomit, Fire/Fire injury, Eating disorder, Excrement, and Animal death
kayfenn6's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
Graphic: Rape, Sexual assault, Cursing, Sexual violence, Mental illness, Sexual harassment, Suicide, and Child abuse