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kirstentropy's review
1.0
This book is a brazen slap in the face to any happy family that falls outside of the confines of married man, woman, and kids. The health of a relationship is measured by its fruit: happiness, honesty, loyalty, and mature decisions that effect financial stability, education, healthy choices and the like.
Saying that couples "slide into" cohabitation versus arriving there via a planned maneuver isn't generally true. But even more concerning is that assumption that cohabitation is a trial for marriage, a sad facsimile for The Real Deal. In reality it's an end unto itself.
Comparing traditional marriage to cohabitation between mature adults is as accurate as comparing a fully restored 1969 Mustang to a BMW M3: same net result (a beautiful means of transportation) but customized, or indidualized, to meet human needs. Neither is superior or results in a "slide" to the other.
I'll close this out with a two little nuggets of stupid I choked on before I just quit highlighting altogether.
"The negotiating between couples who are married is quite different...a wife is a much more powerful player in the relationship than a girlfriend."
If there's inequality in negotiations, the root cause is a bad pairing, not the name for it.
"Marriage is a way of making [a heavy investment in the union] plausible by telling each party that they are united forever, and if they wish to dissolve this union, they will have to go through an elaborate and possibly costly legal ritual called divorce."
Translation: To invest in and commit fully to a relationship with another we impose a self-inflicted monetary penalty, because trust isn't enough.
Saying that couples "slide into" cohabitation versus arriving there via a planned maneuver isn't generally true. But even more concerning is that assumption that cohabitation is a trial for marriage, a sad facsimile for The Real Deal. In reality it's an end unto itself.
Comparing traditional marriage to cohabitation between mature adults is as accurate as comparing a fully restored 1969 Mustang to a BMW M3: same net result (a beautiful means of transportation) but customized, or indidualized, to meet human needs. Neither is superior or results in a "slide" to the other.
I'll close this out with a two little nuggets of stupid I choked on before I just quit highlighting altogether.
"The negotiating between couples who are married is quite different...a wife is a much more powerful player in the relationship than a girlfriend."
If there's inequality in negotiations, the root cause is a bad pairing, not the name for it.
"Marriage is a way of making [a heavy investment in the union] plausible by telling each party that they are united forever, and if they wish to dissolve this union, they will have to go through an elaborate and possibly costly legal ritual called divorce."
Translation: To invest in and commit fully to a relationship with another we impose a self-inflicted monetary penalty, because trust isn't enough.
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