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samarakroeger's review
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
I felt seen in several ways by this book despite our lives being pretty different. the guilt and shame ... very relatable
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Gaslighting, Sexual assault, and Rape
Moderate: Alcohol, Dysphoria, Mental illness, Misogyny, Addiction, Cancer, and Medical trauma
shewantsthediction's review
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
In my early 20s, it had never occurred to me that the women who gained their power from beauty were indebted to the men whose desire granted them that power in the first place. Those men were the ones in control, not the women the world fawned over.
My first exposure to EmRata was through a 2015 movie she was in with Zac Efron called We Are Your Friends. I remember it specifically because I had no idea who she was, thought she was gorgeous and couldn't unglue my eyes the entire time, and in true bisexual fashion looked her up after it was over. I knew she was a model and on Insta, but that was about the extent of my knowledge.
Fast forward years later and a friend posted about her new book, so I decided to grab it on audio from my library. (Love the typeface on the cover.) It was so interesting getting to know more about her life, because we rarely ever hear real talk from the models on the magazines. I also liked the behind-the-scenes look at the video for "Blurred Lines," which is what catapulted her to stardom in the first place.
There are times when Emily seems to revel in her looks, even to the point of being bitchy, and other times you get a sense of an unhealthy amount of her self-worth and identity having been placed on her looks since childhood, reinforced by her parents and society—so is it really all her fault? The memoir is aptly titled, as it seems her body is the cause of everything good that's happened to her (wealth, fame, stability, a career, name recognition, etc.), but also a a ton of bad (sexual assault, paparazzi, invasion of her privacy, online hate, disrespect from men, etc.). It's a complicated topic, and even though she's rich, successful, and a "sex symbol," I think many women will find it super-relatable because of how honest she is about the battlefield that is her body. I know I did.
My heart ached at her struggle to be taken seriously, as more than just "a pretty face"—which was part of her motivation to write this book. However, I was disappointed that she called out her own privilege several times, often savagely, but never made a move to divest from the systems that made her rich/famous. I think her argument was "I am a cog in the machine and don't have any real power," and while I agree with that to some extent, you can't just point out privilege and leave it at that; you need to take next steps. I hope she gets there someday.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Body shaming, Cancer, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Medical content, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Vomit
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