Reviews

With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well by Kathryn Mannix

beth_currie's review against another edition

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4.0

I loved most of this book. I was not enamoured with the author's stance against assisted dying. I disagreed with the points she made on this topic and felt her arguments were inherently flawed. For example, she told the story of a man with motor neurone disease who wanted to kill himself before he got too weak to do so. He was unable to, and later ended up being glad that he had lived long enough to spend a last Christmas with his family. Kathryn uses this to argue that assisted dying should not be allowed because we are all more resilient than we think we are. This makes no logical sense to me - if assisted dying was an option, he wouldn't have felt he had to kill himself so early in his illness because he would have known he had a "get out" later on if things became intolerable and he needed it.

Anyway, apart from that gripe I really liked this book. It tells stories of many deaths and it made me cry a lot but I also found it beautiful and moving and uplifting. It has inspired me to read more about death and dying, to come up with my own plans and think about things like DNR, and even to consider doing some voluntary work with people near death.

mauragf's review against another edition

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5.0

This is one of the best books I have read all year.

This book is a collection of Dr. Kathryn Mannix's reflections on some of the individuals and families that she supported and cared for, each one of which teaches us something. Dr. Mannix's empathy, kindness and expertise resonates through the book and my admiration for her grew as I read. She demystifies dying and shows us how Palliative Care and Hospice Healthcare Professionals can support individuals and families to ensure they have dignity and comfort at that crucial time in their lives.

This is a really inspiring book which ends with a call to action for all of us not to leave things unsaid to those we love and to have those conversations NOW about what our wishes are. While not an easy read, it is an important read which I would highly recommend.

vlj1120's review against another edition

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5.0

Excellent book and training manual for my job as an End of Life Doula.

cloudpurple's review against another edition

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5.0

Warning - do not read this book in public!! (Unless you like crying in public) However I would add this aside we should all read it!
An accessible and moving account of death and what to expect and what we all need to consider. It’s not morbid, but it is sad and moving but also hopeful and considerate. Can not recommend this highly enough!

pyrrha3's review against another edition

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informative inspiring fast-paced

4.5

cmjustice's review against another edition

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5.0

Touching, evocative and well written. An excellent overview.

asmallpants's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

A difficult topic written about beautifully and in such an accessible way 

sunny_afternoon's review against another edition

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emotional informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

emilybebs's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

ashley_kelmore's review against another edition

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4.0

Best for: Anyone who wants to get the conversation about death going. I know, probably not many folks want to, but the book makes a good case for it.

In a nutshell: UK palliative care physician Dr. Kathryn Mannix shares stories from her 40 years working with individuals to manage their symptoms and help with their end of life.

Worth quoting:
“This conspiracy of silence is so common, and so heartbreaking. The elderly expect death, and many try to talk to others about their hopes and wishes. But often they are rebuffed by the young, who cannot bear, or even contemplate, those thoughts that are the constant companions of the aged or the sick.”
“It’s not about ‘getting better’ — bereavement is not an illness, and life for the bereaved will never be the same again. But given time and support, the process itself will enable the bereaved to reach a new balance.”
“It’s a truth rarely acknowledged that as we live longer thanks to modern medicine, it is our years of old age that are extended, not our years of youth and vigour. What are we doing to ourselves?”

Why I chose it:
I saw this at a shop I visited recently (http://askmusings.com/2018/02/28-02-2018-libreria/), and it jumped out at me. While I don’t have my job anymore, my interest in making sure that the lives of those who are dying and the lives of their family and friends are as well-supported as possible hasn’t gone away.

Review:
I’ve read a couple of books like this. There’s Being Mortal (https://cannonballread.com/2014/12/book-52-what-matters-in-the-end/) and On Living (https://cannonballread.com/2017/01/dying-is-just-a-verb/), and they all take different approaches to the topic. While this isn’t my favorite of the three (I think Being Mortal still is), I think it has the best organization and readability. After finishing it, I feel that I’ve both learned more about life and death AND had opportunities to think about it in relation to my own life.

The book is organized into sections, and each chapter is a story about one or two of Dr. Mannix’s patients. It isn’t presented chronologically, so sometimes Dr. Mannix is just starting out as a doctor, and sometimes she’s got two teenagers at home. Shestarts with providing information about the physical aspects of death (how it actually happen, which doesn’t seem to be that similar to what we see in media), then moves on to how people who are dying can gain back some control, how families and those who are dying can face their new reality. It ends looking at ideas of legacy and broader meanings of life.

I know. I mean, sure, a book about death and dying is going to be deep, but this is like Marianas trench deep.

What I liked most is that at the end of each section, there’s literally a chapter called “Pause for Thought,” where Dr. Mannix asks the reader to actively reflect on what they’ve just read, and think about how it might apply or have applied in their own life.

I know that not everyone is as interested in this topic as I am (especially considering in my personal life I’ve been lucky enough to not lose anyone close to me, although obviously that will end at some point), but I still think most people could benefit from reading this book.